Silver Griffons
by xneseyx
Summary: Ildri Tabris is a young, angry woman thrown into a world full of humans that she couldn't care less about. Will she be able to see past her hatred, and do what's right for Ferelden? Now with Awakening! Trigger warnings at top of page. I've had some people ask about pronunciation of names: Ildri - ill-dree; Nadia - nah-dee-ah; Andreina - awn-drain-ah. [Sten/Tabris] [Zevran/Brosca]
1. Chapter 1

_**They planted a tree in the middle of the Alienage long ago. Today it stands tall, healthy and green in sharp contrast to the city around it. For we are the poorest of the poor, the unwanted and the unwelcome huddled on the other side of the wall that separates us from the human part of the city. We are allowed to go there, to work on the docks or in their taverns and in their homes, but when dusk comes we must return. Any elf caught outside the Alienage at night is likely to mistaken for a sneak-thief or a pickpocket, and let us be honest, the ones that stay out there at night probably are.**_

_**Our elder tells us that the tree is called the 'vhenadahl', and in the ancient elven tongue that means 'tree of the people'. Its roots are deep and the elder says that as long as the vhenadahl lives so shall we. But he also says that there was once a time when our people lived in their own lands. He says that we were once ageless and strong, that it was the humans who took all this from us.**_

_**Is it true? Have we fallen so far? We are not unhappy. As poor as we are, we have a home. The Alienage is no prison, it protects us, just as the vhenadahl shelters us. We dance and sing and make merry, stealing what moments we can to enjoy what little we have and I believe we appreciate it more than the humans do. They have everything and appreciate nothing.**_

_**And perhaps the day will come when the humans come and try to take the Alienage from us, too. If that day comes, I swear they shall regret it.**_

* * *

><p>Ildri Tabris heard a voice just outside the realm of sleep.<p>

"Come on cousin... It's time to wake up..." She recognized Shianni's voice and groaned. It was met with a laugh from the other woman. Ildri decided that she may as well get up, seeing as she wasn't going to be getting any more sleep today. She stood and stretched, running a hand through her golden tangles. Ildri was quite tall for an elf, with high cheekbones, bright green eyes and pale blonde hair.

"What in Thedas has you waking me up at this time of day?" Ildri groaned, looking out the window. "I don't have to work today. I was hoping to get a little more sleep than this." Ildri worked in a tavern not too far from the Alienage in order to help her father make ends meet. It wasn't the best job, but Ildri didn't think that she had the temperance to work as a lady's maid. Shianni rolled her eyes and sighed in mock disgust.

"Do you remember _why_ you don't have to work today?" Ildri thought about it and couldn't come up with a whole answer.

"Isn't it somebody's wedding or something today? I can't quite..."

"A DOUBLE wedding! You're getting married today, and so is Soris!" Shianni interrupted, too excited to let her continue. Ildri's eyes widened, remembering. She ran around in a near panic, trying to find her hairbrush and her dress. "And by the way... your groom, Nelaros? He's here early! Also, just to let you know… he's gorgeous. I don't think men should be allowed to look that good."

"Why didn't you come and wake me earlier? I didn't get a chance to bathe last night... I probably still smell like dirty human." Ildri wrinkled her nose, Shianni laughed.

"Your father and I figured you deserved it. You had a pretty late shift last night, no wonder you forgot." Ildri had located her brush and was running it through her hair. Shianni went and retrieved the dress from the other room where it had been laid out. "I'll leave you to freshen up. Soris is waiting for you outside."

Thirty minutes later Ildri was ready to go meet her fiancé. Her father met her before she went outside. "So… the bride appears." Cyrion smiled at her. "Your mother would be so happy for you."

"I wish she could be here…" Ildri said, and Cyrion nodded.

"You and me both." Her father ran a hand through his iron-grey hair. "Before you meet Nelaros, there's something you should know. There are some things that I didn't tell the matchmaker when he left."

"What do you mean?" Ildri asked.

"It wouldn't have helped you find a match… if anything, it might have made his job more difficult."

"Are you talking about the things that Mama taught me?" Ildri asked. "You didn't tell the matchmaker that I know how to fight?"

"That's exactly it. People don't usually want their children marrying someone they think is going to cause trouble for the Alienage."

"I understand." Ildri said, smiling. "I love you, Papa. I'm going to go find Soris, and maybe see what trouble we can stir up." She smiled and walked out the door before he could respond. She walked through the alienage, the place that had been her home for the past sixteen years. She'd never known anywhere else, and didn't know if she ever wanted to. There was a pulse, a rhythm, that she didn't know if she could live without. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't know that she had almost passed Soris until he reached out and touched her arm.

"Cousin? Is something wrong?" She shook her head and looked up at her cousin.

"No, I'm sorry. Just thinking about something that Papa said is all." She smiled at him. "So, have you met her yet?" Soris nodded.

"Of course. Not all of us sleep in all day, you know." Soris teased, and Ildri pushed him playfully.

"So what's she like?" Ildri asked.

"She's not bad… could be worse. At least she's not like Elva." Soris said. Elva was another woman in the Alienage, bitter and cold-hearted. A scream cut through the air, and Ildri's head snapped towards the source of the sound. Nola, another young woman from the Alienage, was being pawed at by a human. Ildri hurried over just as Nola broke away from him.

"Come on, I just want to have a little fun." The man said, leering at Nola. Nola shuddered and the man laughed. "Look at the little whore! Shaking like a leaf…" Ildri felt Soris' hand come down on her shoulder.

"Ildri, I don't know if we should get ourselves involved-"

"One of us is going to get hurt if no one does anything." Ildri retorted.

"That doesn't mean it has to be you, though."

"Who else is going to do anything?" She asked, and when he didn't respond, Ildri stepped towards the human. Her skin crawled as his lecherous gaze fell on her.

"Aren't you a lovely little thing?" He slurred at her. The stench of alcohol wafted off of him, making Ildri want to retch.

"Leave. Before someone gets hurt." Ildri commanded, and he laughed.

"Look at it! Trying to tell me what to do!" Ildri moved just in time to miss being hit by small shards of the bottle her cousin had used to hit the man with. He collapsed, and Ildri suppressed a sudden urge to spit on him. One of the other men ran over and shouted at them.

"Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"Encouraged a drunken sot to go and sleep it off?" Ildri asked.

"You've just made the biggest mistake of your life. This is the Arl of Denerim's son!"

"Well maybe you should take the spoiled brat home." Ildri snapped.

"Uppity little bitch… You'll regret this, mark my words." The two of them picked up the unconscious man and carried him out of the Alienage. Ildri turned to Shianni, who was far paler than usual.

"What have I done?" She asked. "Maker's breath… what if I just started the next Purge?" Ildri pulled her cousin into a tight embrace.

"You're kidding, right? Do you honestly think he's going to tell anyone about this? If word got out that an elven woman bottled him, he'd never live it down." Ildri reassured her.

"Do you really think so?" Shianni asked, and Ildri smiled.

"I'm sure of it. Now, why don't you go and clean yourself up? I promise we won't start without you."

"All right. I won't be long." Shianni squeezed Ildri for a moment before walking away.

"Does that sort of thing happen often?" An unfamiliar voice asked, and Ildri turned around. Two elves she didn't know were standing behind her.

"No, someone just started the party a little early." Soris said, then cleared his throat. "Ildri, this is my betrothed, Valora." The elven woman smiled at her. "This is Nelaros." _Shianni wasn't kidding... This guy is_** _gorgeous_**_._

"It's good to finally meet you both." Ildri said warmly. She extended her hand to Nelaros and smiled.

"Yes, it is." Nelaros' hand was sweaty. "Are you nervous?" He asked, and Ildri shook her head. "I wish I could say the same."

"So…. You came from Highever?" Ildri asked him, hoping to calm his nerves. _Well, at least he doesn't think he's the Maker's gift to women. _

"Y-yes, we both did. I was the blacksmith's apprentice, and I think Valora worked with a seamstress." Ildri nodded. She opened her mouth to ask another question, but was interrupted by Soris.

"Ildri, I need to borrow you for a moment." She knew by the tone of his voice that he thought there was something wrong. She looked up at her betrothed. _I just met the man, and now we're getting married? I wish there had been some time to get to know him better._

"All right. We won't be long." Ildri smiled at the pair one last time and walked after her cousin. She followed his gaze until it settled on another human, wandering the alienage. She gritted her teeth. _Haven't we had enough from the humans today?_

"I see you noticed him too. What do you think we should do?"

"We could get rid of him… permanently." She suggested, and Soris looked at her with fear in his eyes - a look she'd only ever seen in the eyes of elves, never in the eyes of a human. "I'm serious. I'm sick and tired of these shems." Soris swallowed and chuckled nervously before darting towards the human. She sighed and followed him. Her hatred for humans, she was sure, had started when she had discovered that her mother had been murdered by humans for no reason. And after working at the tavern for a few years, she had seen what happened sometimes to the unlucky girls who worked there. She'd been fondled more than a few times, but it had never gone any further than that. She shook her head and passed Soris, reaching the human first.

"Good morning. I've heard that you are to be married today." The human said. Ildri looked up at him, allowing her hatred to paint her face.

"Get out. Your kind are neither welcome nor wanted here." Soris sighed, but she ignored him.

"Do you intend to force me to leave?" The human asked.

"If that's what it comes to, then yes." Ildri growled.

"I understand your mistrust of humans. You can't have had a very pleasant life here." The human said.

"Your pity is also unwelcome." Ildri snapped. "Now what's it going to be? Leave on your own, or not?"

"Enough, child." Another voice said, and Ildri looked over at Valendrian, the elder of the Alienage.

"I am simply trying to make this shem leave, elder. I see no reason for him to be here." Ildri glared back up at the human.

"I agree, his presence is unexpected, though not as unwelcome as you say." Valendrian turned to the human and extended his hand, which the human accepted. "It has been some time, Duncan."

"I did not realize that he was a friend of yours, elder." Ildri said quickly. _Shit, shit, shit! I'm in for an earful now._

"I apologize for not being more forthcoming, but you didn't give me much of a chance." Duncan said, and Ildri shrugged.

"It appears that you have this matter well in hand. We will be waiting with the others." She hurried away, Soris in her wake.

"Well, that didn't go like you thought it would." Soris murmured. Ildri ignored him and took her place beside Nelaros. Soris shook his head and stood next to Valora. Nelaros looked down at her and touched her arm.

"Is everything all right?" He asked.

"I'll tell you about it later. This is supposed to be a happy time." She replied, and Nelaros took her hand. Valendrian finished his chat with Duncan then followed them onto the stage.

"Friends and family. We have come together today to celebrate not only this joining, but our bonds as a whole. We are a free people, but as you all know, this was not always so. The prophet of the Maker, Andraste, freed us from the bonds of slavery so long ago. As our community continues to grow, remember that our strength lies in our commitment to each other, as well as to our traditions." Valendrian nodded towards the priestess.

"Thank you, elder." She walked out to the center of the stage and turned to Ildri and the three other elves. "We shall begin. In the name of the Maker, in whose name we say the Chant of Light, I-" A sudden noise at the gates interrupted the priestess, and Ildri looked past the woman to see what had caused the commotion. Bile rose in her throat as she saw a contingent of armed men, with the lordling Shianni had hit leading them. She glanced over at her cousin, who had gone pale.

"Milord, this is quite unanticipated…" the priestess said.

"I apologize, Mother, for interrupting." The lordling said, smirking.

"Is there something that I may assist you with?" The priestess asked.

"Not you, but…" his eyes roamed over the elves assembled on the stage. "I believe that they may be of some use to me." He pushed past the priestess and onto the stage, ignoring her protests. "Let's see here…"

"Milord, what are you doing?" The priestess asked.

"Why, Mother, I'm hosting a party… and we need some female guests."

"I wonder why." Ildri asked loudly. "Maybe the shemlen women don't want anything to do with you either."

"What are you doing?" Nelaros whispered.

"Trying to save Shianni." She whispered back.

"Be quiet before your betters, whore." The lordling snapped.

"Betters? I see a little boy in a man's body. You must make your daddy so proud." Ildri taunted.

"We're taking that one," he said, pointing at Ildri, "the nervous whore, those two… find that red-haired bitch. The one that bottled me." Ildri stepped out, hoping to distract them.

"I'll kill you for this!" She shouted, and then her world turned black.

* * *

><p>Ildri awoke with a groan and sat up. Suddenly woozy, she remembered the events that had filled her day thus far and was enraged. She put a hand to her head to ensure there was no bleeding. She was glad; she didn't want her dress stained with blood just yet.<p>

"Ildri! Thank the Maker you're all right." She looked up into Shianni's hazel eyes and groaned again.

"Dammit. I was hoping they wouldn't find you." Ildri rubbed her head again. There was a small bump, but she didn't think she was concussed.

"They were adamant about having me here. I think they would have torn the place apart looking for me." Shianni said.

"That shem dies today." Ildri growled. Shianni helped her to her feet and Ildri looked around. They were locked in a small room and the doors were too thick to break through easily. All the women from the wedding party were there; Shianni, Valora, Nola, Salli, and herself. They all knew what was planned for them.

"If you fight, you doom us all." Salli warned her. "There's a chance that we might be able to go home after, if we don't fight."

"Do you... Not you, Valora, this is your first day here. But do you-" Ildri looked at the other three women, "-know any of the stories about this man?" When the other women were silent, she continued. "Vaughan Kendells is a sadistic son of a bitch. This isn't the first time he's taken elf women - just the first time he's done it so publicly." She sighed. "Do you remember Nesiara? She disappeared last summer, just after I started working at the tavern. They found her body three days later at the docks. She'd been abused, horribly, and then either they killed her when they were done with her, or she threw herself in the water." She looked each of the other women in the eyes. "The last place she'd been seen was doing a delivery to the Arl of Denerim's estate. Where we are now." This was met with more silence. "Now, you four can do whatever you want. I'm not going to tell you what to do. But I am going to tell you what I'm going to do." She thought about her mother. Was this why she had died? Something similar to this? Ildri didn't ever recall seeing her mother's body. "I am going to fight. I am going to fight until they kill me. I'd rather die than be used as a plaything, a toy, by a _human_." She spat out the last word with all the rage and disgust she could bring to bear. "And maybe it won't work. Maybe they'll tie me up and use me anyway. But I'll die knowing that I was strong. That I fought it as best as I could." Before anyone could respond a sudden noise outside the door drew their attention. Eight guards entered the small room, stinking of sweat. It made Ildri want to wretch.

"You all set for Lord Vaughan's party?" The one in the front leered. Nola, shy, quiet little Nola, launched herself at the human who'd spoken. Without hardly even glancing at her, he drew his sword and swung it lazily. Nola's hands went to her stomach and she fell to her knees as blood pooled on the floor. Ildri knelt beside her and took her hand. Nola's dark eyes latched onto Ildri's bright ones.

"Here, lie down. you'll feel better soon." She murmured, lowering Nola to the floor. Nola's other hand clutched her stomach as she cried out.

"For fuck's sakes, shut the bitch up!" One of the guards complained. The one in the front, with Nola's blood on his blade, shrugged and leaned over, driving his sword through her heart. She gasped and was finally still. Stifling her tears, Ildri reached out and closed the girl's eyes.

"I can't believe you killed her!" Salli cried out. The man ignored her and assigned two guards to each woman until only Ildri was left.

"This one's the loudmouth." He said.

"I'll kill you, you know. For what you did to Nola." Ildri promised.

"Sure you will." He said, then turned to the other guard. "What do you say we have a little go at her first? Vaughan's going to be busy for a little while with the others."

"Sounds like a plan to me." The other replied. "Who goes first?"

"What do you think? I do, you lout. Hold her down." The guard said, gesturing in her direction.

"Oh, you're such a manly man. Scared of a little elf woman? Think you can't take her on by yourself?" Ildri goaded. "If you're scared of me, how in flames do you actually do your job?" The guard backhanded her, and she fell to the floor. _Just a little bit closer…_

"Andraste's flaming tits, he wasn't kidding." He waved the other guard away. "Show you who's scared…" He stepped towards her, and Ildri smirked, causing him to hit her again. "Don't know what the hell you're smiling about-" Once he was close enough, Ildri launched herself at the guard and drew his sword.

"I guess you should have been scared of me after all." Ildri said, then she attacked. It was two against one, but only one of them was armed. She quickly cut down the unarmed man so she could focus on the other guard. Just as she stepped towards him, a crossbow bolt pierced his thigh from behind. Ildri quickly slashed her stolen blade across his throat to stifle his scream, then turned towards the doorway. Soris stood there with a crossbow in hand.

"I guess you don't need rescuing after all." Soris quipped.

"Not me, but the others. And I don't know if I can do it all by myself." She replied. "Where'd you get weapons?"

"Duncan, the human Valendrian knows. Nelaros is waiting for us further down. We've got to get moving."

"Then let's go." They left the room and bumped into another elf, who gave them directions to where the other women were. The two of them met a few guards along the way, and Ildri threw herself into their midst, hacking and slashing at them. Her dress quickly darkened from the cream color that it had been when she'd put it on to a dark crimson. Not all of the blood was human, however – her reckless charges had cost some of her own blood, as well. When the guards lay dead around her, Ildri panted heavily, regaining her breath.

"Ildri, are you going to be all right?" Soris asked softly.

"Not until I see that the others are safe." _And that the bastards who did this to us can't do it to anyone else._ Ildri poked around, making sure that she hadn't missed any guards. When she found none alive, she ran down the hall once more, Soris hot on her heels. They arrived at a door, and Soris' face split into a wide grin.

"I left Nelaros here. He wanted to stay and guard the hall." Soris threw the door open just to see Nelaros fall to the floor, laid open by one of the guards. They all had their backs to Ildri and Soris, so they had that advantage. Once the humans were dead on the floor, Ildri turned to Nelaros and found him still breathing. She knelt down and put his head in her lap.

"Got here... too late." He rattled, coughing up blood.

"No, you didn't." She reassured him. "You were able to save me, and we're going to save the others." He laughed grimly.

"I don't know anything about it, but I'm pretty sure you can't fix me now." She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. He reached into a pocket and pulled something out, pressing it into her hand. "I had hoped to put that on you earlier. I made it." Ildri looked down and saw a thin golden band. With her hands trembling as they were, it took her two tries to slip the ring on her finger. Once it was on, she smiled down at him.

"It's beautiful. And it fits perfectly. Thank you, Nelaros." He smiled red and breathed his last. She laid Nelaros down on the floor and closed his eyes. "Let's move. We have to get to the others before…" Ildri stopped, unable to continue speaking. Soris nodded and fell in behind her. All she could think about now was getting to the man who'd caused all this and putting an end to him. When she finally got to Vaughan, her dress bore hardly any resemblance to the one she'd put on that morning to be married. She kicked down the last door in the estate and saw Shianni on the floor, her dress torn and rumpled and her face bruised. Ildri felt a sudden surge of pride at her cousin. _If they got anything out of her, at least it wasn't freely._ When Vaughan turned to look at what was causing the commotion Ildri saw three bloody scratches down his face, and she smiled for what felt like the first time in ages.

"Now, look..." was as far as Vaughan got before she burst into motion. Ildri attacked his companions first, trying to keep Vaughan alive as long as possible. He tried to sneak around her, but she noticed and slashed at his face with her dagger. Vaughan cried out and shrank away from her, his hands clamped over his face. Once she was finished with his companions, Ildri slowly approached the lordling and put her sword to the base of his throat. He took his hands from his face, revealing a large gash down the right side of his face. Ildri's blade had removed most of his right eye. "Look, I can give you money! Money enough to get out of Denerim, to leave this place behind! All I ask is that you let me live!" Ildri spoke over her shoulder to Soris.

"Soris, please take the ladies into the hallway and close the door. I'll catch up." Soris collected Salli and Valora, but Shianni refused to leave.

"No. I want to stay." Soris let her be and took the other two away.

"Are you sure, Shianni?" Ildri asked.

"I want to see this bastard die." Ildri nodded and returned her attention to the human, who was cowering in the corner.

"Please, I beg of you-" He began, but Ildri pressed the point of her sword against his throat.

"My friends are dead and my life is in tatters because of you and your kin. I have nothing to lose, but you still possess your other eye." Shianni had come up behind her now.

"Give me the knife." Shianni ordered. Ildri shook her head.

"No. I won't do that to you." Ildri said. Shianni glared up at her, but Ildri ignored it.

She slashed the dagger down the other side of his face, ruining the left eye, then leaned close and whispered in his ear. "The only reason that your death is not lasting any longer is because I have to get the others out of here. Be grateful for that, human." And with that, she pushed her sword through his throat until it came out the other side. Shianni moved away and retched in the corner while Ildri cleaned her blades. They silently rejoined the others and took the alleys towards the Alienage.

* * *

><p>Valendrian and the Duncan were at the gates when they arrived, as well as numerous other elves.<p>

"Is everyone all right? Where is Nola?" Valendrian asked.

"She was the first to fall." Ildri replied, and Valendrian sighed.

"Salli, Valora, please take Shianni home. She needs to rest." When the other women had left, Valendrian turned to Ildri. "I don't even know what to ask you." He sighed and shook his head.

"You don't need to ask. I'll tell you. Soris and Nelaros came to rescue us, I killed a lot of guards, we found Nelaros, who died, killed more guards, and eventually found and killed that bastard and his two cronies."

"Then it's likely that the guards are already coming." Duncan said.

"Why has it come to this…?" Valendrian murmured, and Ildri turned to Soris.

"Give me the crossbow." He didn't ask why, he simply handed it over. "Now get out of sight. There's a bit of blood on you, but not as much as on me." He opened his mouth to argue, and she pushed him. "No arguing, Soris! NOW!" He didn't go very far, but he was out of the direct line of sight. She handed Duncan his crossbow and he put it away just before the guards came through the gate.

"Valendrian, we need to have a chat." The captain called out.

"I don't think that will be necessary, ser." Ildri said, stepping forward.

"So you know what we're here for." He said, taking in her blood-soaked dress.

"I have a sneaky suspicion that it might be about what happened at the Arl of Denerim's estate today."

"Where are your accomplices?" He demanded, looking around the Alienage.

"I am the only elf guilty of murder today." Ildri informed him.

"And I'm the King of Antiva."

"We're not all as helpless as you like to believe." Ildri met his eyes, daring him to challenge her again. He merely shook his head.

"You've done the Alienage a service by stepping forward. I won't lie, you're in for some tough times, but you've got nerves of silverite." Raising his voice, he addressed the others. "This elf will be taken into custody to await the Arl's return." The captain took a pair of shackles from another guard and stepped towards Ildri. Before she could take a single step, Duncan put a hand on her arm.

"Captain, I need to have a word with you."

"You've run roughshod over the law in this city once already, Warden. You planning on doing it again or something?" The captain asked gruffly, glaring at the other man.

"Actually… yes. I invoke the Right of Conscription." Duncan said, and the captain's brow furrowed.

"You'd best not make a habit of this, Warden." The captain warned him. "If she's still here tomorrow, I'm locking her up."

"I understand, captain." Duncan replied, and the guard captain left, taking his men with him.

"Okay… does someone want to explain to me what just happened?" Ildri asked. "Elves can't fight in the King's army, everyone knows that."

"I have recruited you into the Grey Wardens. We don't have much time, I need to get you out of Denerim before the sun sets. Make your goodbyes and meet me back here soon." Duncan explained, and Ildri frowned.

"What if I don't want to be a Grey Warden?" She asked.

"I didn't offer this out of pity. That is something Grey Wardens cannot afford to have. I offer because I see that you are a fine warrior, and a capable young woman. I don't care that you're an elf, I care that you can get the job done." Duncan replied curtly.

"I'm afraid you don't have much choice in the matter." Valendrian said. "The guards will be coming back to make sure that you have left, and if you haven't, I don't know what they'll do. To you, or to the rest of us."

"Fine. I'll be back shortly." Duncan pulled a bundle out of his pack and offered it to her.

"What makes you think I want charity?" Ildri spat.

"It's not charity. It's regulation. All recruits receive a set of armor. That is, unless you _want_ to go traipsing through the woods in a blood-soaked dress."

"All right, I'll take the damn armor." Ildri snapped, and accepted the parcel. "I'll be back shortly." _I don't want to leave. This is my home, everything I've ever known. _ She looked up and caught sight of Soris and ran over to him.

"Ildri! Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't want to know where I'd be if you hadn't stuck up for me." Ildri pushed aside her emotions for now, Soris wasn't the one to talk to about them.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ildri replied, trying to act normal. _I don't think I know what 'normal' is anymore._ "Anyway, I'm leaving. That guy Duncan is taking me off to be a Grey Warden." Soris' eyes widened.

"Really? Wow! I didn't know that elves _could_ join them. I thought it was like the King's army."

"Well, apparently they're not as picky." Ildri said. "I can't stay long. I have to see Papa and Shianni before I leave." Soris reached over and pulled Ildri into his arms.

"I'll miss you. Good luck out there, cousin." Ildri pulled away and walked across the Alienage to her home. _This might be the last time... No, don't think like that. _Everyone she spoke to was giving her gentle encouragement in the best way they knew how. She saw her father and ran into his embrace.

"Papa..." She murmured. She wanted to tell him everything - her fears, her doubts... but he spoke first.

"Ildri... Your mother... she would be so happy right now. Happy that you got out of the Alienage more so than the circumstances that surrounded it, but I think you understand what I mean." She nodded. It didn't look like she could talk to him, either. "The girls brought Shianni here, if you want to see her." Ildri nodded.

"That was supposed to be the next stop, Papa." They looked at each other for a moment, tears in both of their eyes.

"I guess this is goodbye." Cyrion said quietly.

"Not for forever. I'll see you again, Papa. I promise." Cyrion nodded numbly, and Ildri walked into the house behind him. Salli had gone home, but Valora was still there with Shianni.

"We heard that you're leaving." Valora said.

"Good news travels fast, I guess." Ildri quipped, but her heart wasn't in it.

"I didn't have a chance to thank you properly earlier, so I'd like to do it now. Thank you, so very much for what you did for us today. I don't care what the others think of it, I think it was the only decision to be made." Ildri nodded. "I'll give the two of you some time alone." Ildri watched for the other woman to leave before approaching Shianni. She was lying on a bed, her face washed. Her bruising would take some time to heal, but at least she was alive.

"How are you doing?" Ildri asked, and Shianni shrugged.

"The others think that I only got roughed up a little, but I'm sure that you know better." Ildri felt her anger grow, thankful that the shem who'd dared harm her cousin was dead. Shianni put her hand on Ildri's arm. "I took some of your advice… that's why…" she gestured lamely towards her face.

"I know you did. I just wish that I'd gotten there faster."

"I know that you got there as fast as you can. And nobody's blaming you for what happened. If anything, I'm going to be blamed for hitting him with that flaming bottle. And also-" Shianni paused, catching Ildri's eyes. "-thank you for not giving me that knife." Ildri embraced her cousin, holding her close. Shianni had only caught onto part of what was bothering her, but she didn't want to burden the other woman more than she already was. Shianni kissed her cheek before releasing her. "I'd appreciate it if the others didn't catch on to exactly what happened in there."

"You won't have to worry about that. I'm leaving, remember?" Ildri reminded her.

"That's right. Valora mentioned that, but to be honest, the sound of her voice kind of annoys me already. So I just blocked it out." Ildri smiled.

"I'll miss you. Take care of yourself, Shianni. Get better."

"I will. I love you too, Ildri. Don't get stabbed." Ildri chuckled and stood from the bed. She quickly changed into the Warden Recruit armor, then headed back to Duncan.

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><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading! <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**It didn't make much sense to me that Duncan would go to Denerim to get Daveth, take him to Ostagar, and then return if a person chose the City Elf origin. So, they all get to travel together. **

**Thank you to Bluble and premiumfanfiction for the faves/follows/reviews. **

**On another note, it's unlikely that I'll be popping chapters out this quickly all the time. **

* * *

><p>Ildri wasn't the only recruit that Duncan had picked up in Denerim. There was a human man named Daveth that was also coming with them. Daveth was a pickpocket, and apparently in a lot of trouble with the city guard. The Guard Captain's comment about 'running roughshod over the law' made more sense now, knowing this. Daveth had been alternating between outrageously flirting with her and trying to figure out where he'd seen her before since they'd set out. Ildri merely ignored him, hoping that he'd lose interest and leave her alone. Duncan had tried to get him to leave her alone, but Ildri had glared daggers at him. <em>I don't need an old shem to fight my battles for me.<em> Apparently he'd gotten the message, because he hadn't tried again. When they set up camp that night, Ildri was at a bit of a loss. She'd never slept under the stars before, and was loathe to ask for help. So when Duncan offered to put up the tents if she and Daveth collected wood and cooked the meal, she immediately offered her cooking services. Daveth collected the wood and started the fire, and Ildri began cooking. After the meal, Daveth approached her again.

"I think I've figured it out. You used to work in that tavern in Denerim, near the Alienage." Ildri ignored him and continued to clean from after the meal. "It's not polite to ignore people, you know." Daveth put his hand on her shoulder, and Ildri had a knife at his throat a second later.

"You will keep your filthy hands off me, unless you want them removed. Are we clear?"

"C-crystal." He stammered, and Ildri sheathed her knife. Daveth quickly backed away, and didn't speak to her beyond necessities afterwards.

* * *

><p>They kept up this pattern for the time it took to reach Ostagar – Duncan set up tents, Ildri cooked and cleaned, and Daveth took care of the fire. Ildri didn't like to be placed into a typical 'woman' job, but she had no outdoorsy skills, and she was determined to carry her own weight. It took them four days to reach Ostagar, and it was unlike anything Ildri had ever seen before. The ruins had obviously been majestic at one time, but that had been many years ago. The old fortress was quite literally falling to pieces. Large chunks of stone were missing, and more littered the ground.<p>

"I'm not an expert on battle, but it seems rather stupid to me to fight in a place that looks like it's about to fall on one's head." Ildri said to Duncan.

"It does look that way, but Ostagar has held for over a thousand years, and seen more than its fair share of blood. It is an excellent defensive position –" Ildri pointed at a wall, where a large section near the bottom had collapsed and left a gaping hole.

"Seems to me that your 'defensive position' may need some repairs." Ildri said blandly. Duncan frowned at the hole.

"It would seem that you are correct. Cailan was supposed to be making sure things like this were being taken care of… what is that boy up to?" Ildri smirked and left the Warden to his ruminations. Not long afterwards, they came across a group of people. A tall blonde man saw them and waved.

"King Cailan. I didn't expect you to greet me at the door." Duncan said when they reached the other group.

"And I didn't expect you to take this long." Cailan replied.

"I was recruiting. You knew this." Duncan gestured to Ildri and Daveth.

"Ah! More Grey Wardens!" _Maker, he sounds like a child on Satinalia*. _"And who might you be?"

"My name's Daveth, m'lord." Daveth sketched a bow towards Cailan.

"Ildri." She said curtly. Duncan subtly shook his head at her, but she pretended not to notice.

"An elf!" _No shit. You want a fucking hero cookie now?_ "Are you from an Alienage?"

"Elves aren't welcome anywhere else. But to be particular, the one in Denerim."

"I come from Denerim as well!" Cailan exclaimed. Ildri widened her eyes in mock-surprise.

"Oh, does that mean that the big palace belongs to you?" She asked sarcastically, but Cailan didn't pick up on it.

"Could you tell me some of what the Alienage is like? My guards won't allow me to go there." Cailan said, and Ildri raised a brow.

"I thought you were the king."

"Of course I'm the king!" Cailan said loudly.

"Then why do you let your guards tell you what to do?" She asked. Cailan's brow furrowed as he searched for an answer.

"You didn't answer my question." He replied lamely.

"The Alienage is dirty, people are almost always sick, some people freeze or starve to death in the winter, and humans treat us like dirt. In fact, there was an incident with a group of humans the day I left. I killed them for kidnapping my friends, and raping my cousin. Satisfied?" Cailan's jaw dropped.

"You… what?" Before Ildri could say anything else, Duncan spoke up.

"Ildri, that is quite enough. Your Majesty, I apologize for her. She does not think highly of humans."

"I see that." Cailan replied.

"Go into the camp, Ildri. I don't care what you do, just don't leave. I'll have need of you later." Duncan ordered, and Ildri walked off.

"Do you have any word from Redcliffe?" Cailan said, and Ildri didn't hear Duncan's response. _If that idiot is the king, I fear for what might happen to Ferelden. Hopefully, someone else is actually giving the orders and he's just a figurehead._ She made her way across the bridge, ignoring the humans who called out to her on the way by. She looked around the camp. It was nearly as busy as Denerim was. She felt tears threaten to pour and shook her head. She had to be strong. She heard barking nearby, and perked up instantly. _I'm in a war camp. Those had better be mabari! _As it turned out, they were, in fact, mabari war hounds. She knelt down to study one.

"Excuse me, miss.." Startled, Ildri leapt to her feet, weapon in hand. The human held up his hands, palms facing her. "Didn't mean to startle you, miss, just wanted to know if you'd help me." Ildri lowered her weapon, and the man explained that the mabari she'd been studying was sick and needed treatment, or he'd die. Ildri grimaced, feeling like she was caught between a rock and a hard place. _I don't want to do a Maker-damned thing for a shem, but the dog doesn't deserve to suffer for my pride. _Sighing out loud, she agreed to search for the man's flower if she went into the Korcari Wilds. Just past the kennels, there was a ramp, and Ildri followed it upwards. Upon seeing that it only lead to the field hospital, she turned to leave, but something caught her eye. There was a human man in a cage, wearing naught but his smalls. _Damn, that'd be cold. _She decided to investigate, and he told her that he'd been caught sneaking around the camp one night, and had been charged as a deserter.

"I weren't deserting! I was just, you know, sneaking around." He shrugged.

"Because that's convincing." Ildri scoffed.

"Look, I been in here for days!" He looked around, then lowered his voice. "Look, if you just bring me some food, I'll give you this key. It unlocks a cage in the mages' camp."

"What does a dead man need food for?" Ildri laughed, and slid a blade between his ribs. She picked up the key from the bottom of the cage, then wiped her blade off on the dead man's clothes.

"Hey, what's all this about?" A guard asked, stepping towards her. "Just cause you're a Grey Warden doesn't mean you can go around killing people all the time. Explain yourself!" Ildri paused a moment before answering. _He thinks I'm a Warden. I wonder how much I can get away with?_

"He was sentenced to death, and I came to carry it out." Ildri lied easily.

"Usually we do hangings or the like…" The guard said, scratching his head.

"It was decided that we shouldn't make a public spectacle out of it, so as not to take time away from battle preparations."

"That makes sense. All right, then." The guard nodded, and Ildri left. _I can't believe that worked._ Ildri waited until she was out of sight of the guard before she giggled. Back down the ramp and on her left, she found the quartermaster, who assumed she was a servant. After disillusioning him of that impression, he was more than willing to do business with her. She wandered further up from the quartermaster, up another ramp, and saw something that confused her. There was a _man_ in a _dress_. She watched as a young man walked up to him.

"I have a message for you." He said, and the dress-wearing-man glowered at him.

"What in Thedas do you want now? I'm quite busy, as you well know."

"The Revered Mother would like to see you."

"The king ordered me to help you Wardens, so that is what I will do. Harassing me will do no good." Dress-man snarled.

"Yes, because you're being so polite." Quipped the blonde.

"Sarcasm will not help either." _If looks could kill, I think Blondie would be lying on the ground right about now._

"Oh, and I thought we were getting along." Blondie mock-pouted. Dress-man threw his hands in the air and sighed.

"If it will mean that you leave me alone, I'll go see the woman. Get out of my way." He pushed Blondie out of his path and stalked off. Ildri giggled, then saw that Blondie was staring at her. She immediately stiffened and let her smirk fall from her face. Blondie walked over to her, and Ildri felt her lip curl as he drew closer.

"Hello. Are you looking for something?" He asked.

"Who says I have to be?" She replied.

"No one. I was just curious, I wanted to know if I could help. That's all." Ildri's eyes narrowed as she studied Blondie. "Who are you here with?"

"I'm here to become a Warden." She said. _Maybe he'll leave me alone if he thinks he'll get in trouble for harassing me…._ He smiled broadly at her.

"You must be one of Duncan's new recruits! My name is Alistair. I'm the junior Gray Warden." He looked around. "Did Duncan send you?"

"No. he just told me to 'go to the camp'. I think I might have offended the boy king's delicate sensibilities." Ildri sneered.

"Well, Cailan's our most vocal supporter, so pissing him off isn't a good plan. I tend to bite my tongue around him." Alistair said. "It hurts, but I don't want to anger Duncan."

"Why not?" Ildri asked. "Does he get angry often?"

"Not at all. I think it's more that I don't want to disappoint him. Duncan rescued me from an awful, boring life at the Chantry as a Templar."

"You were a Templar?"

"Not a full Templar. Almost, though. Duncan had to use the Right of Conscription, because the Revered Mother didn't want to let me go." Alistair shrugged. "I guess she just didn't want to share me." Ildri stifled a chuckle. _Well, what d'you know? A shem with a decent sense of humor._

"He had to do the same with me." Ildri said, startling herself. _Why am I sharing personal information with a shem? What's wrong with me?_ Before Alistair could ask more about that, Daveth walked up.

"Well, at least I don't have to go all over camp. I already talked to the knight, he should be over with Duncan right now. We're supposed to head over too." Daveth informed them. Ildri was grateful for the interruption and quickly walked away from the men.

* * *

><p>It didn't take Ildri long to find Duncan. He was standing beside a fire, just past the kennels.<p>

"It's good that you're here first." Duncan told her. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" She asked, although she suspected she knew.

"You shouldn't speak to Cailan the way you did. He is the king of Ferelden."

"He's not my king. He's done nothing for me, or my people." Ildri replied.

"You are a citizen of Ferelden, therefore he is your king."

"I seem to recall you calling him 'that boy' earlier." Ildri said, and Duncan frowned.

"But I was respectful to him. Just because I might not agree with everything that he does, doesn't mean that I have to be rude to him."

"Well, technically I wasn't rude to him." She pointed out.

"Although that is true, you shouldn't get used to getting away with talking like that to nobles. You are still an elf, and many humans look down on them, much to my regret." Duncan said, and Ildri raised a brow.

"What would a human care for the elves?"

"Most humans look and see only what they want to. They don't see that the elves aren't receiving basic rights. They don't see how bad things actually are in the Alienages."

"And humans like it that way." Ildri retorted.

"Not all humans." He said gently. He looked up as someone approached the fire. "Ah, yes. Ildri, this is Ser Jory, one of the other recruits." She merely shrugged as he joined her and Duncan at the fire.

"Duncan, surely this elf is not coming with us." Jory said. "Elves are not meant to fight alongside humans." Ildri swept her leg behind the knight's, sending him crashing to the ground.

"Why don't you try-" Jory punched her in the jaw, sending her backwards. He pushed himself off the ground and drew his greatsword. Ildri smiled and drew her blades.

"Both of you, stand down!" Duncan ordered. Ildri glanced at Duncan, and Jory took advantage of this to press his attack. He rushed towards her, his blade raised over his head. Ildri rolled out of the way and circled behind him. Jory was far slower than she was, but still his blade touched the ground barely a moment after she'd moved. He rushed at her again, and she tossed a handful of dirt into his eyes. He tried to rub the dirt out of his eyes, but while wearing his gauntlets it was nearly impossible. She ran up to him and jumped, using her weight to send him to the ground once more. He tried pushing her off, but she pinned him to the ground and put her knife to his throat. "Why don't you try saying that again?" Ildri snarled.

"That wasn't a fair fight." Jory spluttered.

"Nothing in life is _fair,_ idiot." Ildri removed the blade and stood. "Best you learn that now." Jory got off the ground and took off his gauntlets to wipe the dirt from his face. He didn't say a word, but glared at her balefully.

"Are the two of you finished?" Duncan growled, and Ildri nodded."I don't care what the two of you think about each other, but I will _**not** _have my recruits fighting each other!" _Oh shit, he's pissed."_How do you think it looks to everyone else when I can't even control my own recruits? How many people do you think will _trust_ us if you all can't get along? You don't have to like each other, but for the Maker's sake, save your fights for the sparring ring!" Duncan glared angrily at the both of them. "Am I understood?"

"Yes, Duncan." Ildri said. _Don't you **dare** try and make me_ _apologize. _Duncan turned his glare full focus on the knight until he, too, voiced his understanding.

"Does that mean it's safe to come closer?" She heard Daveth ask. She looked towards him, and saw that he was standing a few feet off with Alistair.

"For now it is." Ildri told him.

"I take it this means you are all ready to go? And that we are all finished riling up the mages, Alistair?" Duncan asked, looking at the man in question. Alistair blushed slightly.

"I wasn't harassing him…." He began, but Duncan cut him off.

"We cannot afford to slight anyone, especially with a Blight looming on Ferelden's doorstep." Duncan said, and Alistair nodded. "The four of you are headed out into the Korcari Wilds. Each recruit is to collect a vial of darkspawn blood to bring back with them."

"What for?" Ildri asked.

"I cannot tell you at this time. All I can tell you is that they are necessary for what is to come." Seeing that the others had no questions, he continued. "There is something else I'd like you to do while you're out there. At one point, there was a Grey Warden outpost here, and there was some important paperwork that was left behind. I'd like for you to retrieve them, if you can."

"What kind of paperwork?" Ildri asked.

"Old treaties. They allow us to call upon certain groups in times of a Blight. It would be nice to have something to remind people of promises they have made, in case they have forgotten."

"And if they are no longer there?" She pressed, and Duncan sighed.

"If they are not there, then nothing is to be done for it." He turned to Alistair. "Watch over them. Be swift, and be safe."

"We will, Duncan." Alistair promised.

* * *

><p>Ildri was in the rear, watching the men she was with. Jory was a bigoted fool, and Alistair was quite naïve, but Daveth seemed to have a decent head on his shoulders. <em>For a shem, anyway. <em>She spotted one of the flowers that the kennel master had asked after, and walked over to retrieve it.

"We're supposed to stick together!" Alistair called out to her, but she ignored him. It appeared that he actually was paying attention to her. She carefully stowed the flower in her pack and rejoined the group. Alistair looked at her curiously. "I didn't take you for the 'flowers type' of girl."

"It's not for me, idiot. It's medicine for the dogs." She retorted hotly. Before he could reply, another voice called out.

"Help…me…." The men rushed off towards the source of the voice, and Ildri followed more slowly. There was a wounded man lying in the pathway. "We were ambushed by the 'spawn… they came right out of the ground, out of the shadows, like demons." He explained. The man appeared to be running a fever, and his eyes were bloodshot with dark rings around them. She could smell his blood mixed with a sickening stench, and instinctively knew that he wasn't long for this world. Ildri knelt down beside him, and he looked up towards her. "Please… make the pain stop."

"Maker guide your soul." She whispered, and cut his throat.

"What the void are you doing?!" Alistair shouted. "We could have helped him!"

"He was in pain! Are you blind?" She shouted right back. "He was _begging_ me to make the pain stop."

"That doesn't mean killing him!"

"Usually, it does. I've seen people in that kind of pain before. I've seen people who were that far gone. There is nothing left to do at that point, save let them make peace with the Maker. What I did was a mercy."

"Fine. But from now on, you clear things with me before you do them. Understood?" Alistair crossed his arms and drew up to his full height, apparently trying to be intimidating. Ildri walked over to him and glared up at him.

"I don't take orders from anyone, especially not _shemlen._" She growled, and Alistair flinched. "Now, let's get moving. I want to be back before nightfall." She stalked away, leaving him and the others no choice but to follow. They found a few other bodies, and Ildri sighed as she noticed that they were carrying letters. "You. Come here." Ildri said to Alistair. She thrust the pages towards him.

"What?" He asked, looking at her in confusion.

"I can't read." She admitted through gritted teeth. "What does it say?" He accepted the papers without comment and looked over them.

"This one mentions a lock box that he wants returned to his wife in case of his death… and this one has clues to guide someone to a cache of items."

"All right. Where are they?" Alistair guided them towards the lock box's location first. In a nearby chest Ildri found a book, and Alistair informed her that it provided directions to yet another cache of items. Ildri collected more of the medicinal flowers on their journey through the Wilds, as well as stopping by both caches. They finally found the ruins where the outpost had stood, but they only found an old, rotting, empty chest. "Well, shit." Ildri grumbled.

"My, my. What have we here?" Ildri spun around, drawing her blades. A dark-haired woman had seemingly appeared out of thin air behind them, and was slowly approaching. "Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger, poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned? Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?"

"And if we are neither?" Ildri asked slowly, and the woman scoffed.

"Then you are either fools, or lying." The woman walked up to Ildri, then past her. The woman's golden eyes rested on her for a moment, and Ildri felt a chill run down her spine. _I've never seen anyone with eyes like that… what is this woman?_ Ildri turned as the woman walked past the men and went to lean on what may have once been a pillar, but it was hard to tell. "I have followed you for some time, you know. 'Tis uncommon that there are visitors here, and I was intrigued. You make your way into my territory, killing as you please, pillaging and plundering as you go. Now, you wander deep into the heart of the forest, with no seeming purpose. What am I to make of that?"

"She looks Chasind." Alistair said quietly. "There may be others nearby." Apparently he wasn't quiet enough, for the woman laughed.

"You fear a trap? An ambush? You fear the barbarians, that they may swoop down upon you?"

"Yes, swooping is bad." Alistair said wryly.

"She's a Witch of the Wilds!" Daveth nearly shrieked. _There goes my smart-shem theory._

"Do you believe every tall tale your mother told you as a child?" Ildri asked scathingly. "Or just enough to make you look like an idiot?" The woman smirked at Ildri.

"Women do not know fear like little boys do. Tell me, then, what is your name?"

"Ildri. And you?"

"I am called Morrigan." Morrigan nodded her head towards the old chest. "I take it, then, that your search was fruitless?"

"What do you know about it?" Ildri demanded.

"I know that the chest has lain empty for years. I know that it once contained documents of some value to the Grey Wardens. But I am curious as to why they were abandoned here, for they seem to be of great import."

"You took them!" Alistair shouted. "Those documents are not yours. They belong to the Grey Wardens, and I demand that you give them to us!"

"Alistair, shut up." Ildri sighed. "Yelling and demanding things isn't going to help."

"'Twould be wise to listen to her. She appears to be the only one with a level head amongst you." Morrigan said, a smile upon her lips. "I may be able to help. But 'twas not I who removed your precious papers."

"But you know who did." Ildri supplied. "And you know where they are."

"Correct on both accounts." The woman smiled. "Your so-called thief was my mother. I may take you to her, if you wish."

"That would be best." Ildri nodded.

"That might-" Alistair began, and Ildri spun to face him. "Alistair, if I wanted your two coppers' worth, I'll ask for it. Until then, shut your fucking mouth. Are we clear?" The elf met the eyes of the men following her, and one by one, they looked away. "Good." She turned back to Morrigan, who was chuckling. "Take us to your mother."

* * *

><p>Ildri followed the mystery woman closely, and she assumed that the men followed her in turn. She hadn't bothered to look, she was focusing her thoughts on this woman. Ildri herself had no skills in tracking, so she couldn't say for sure whether the woman had been following them, but between the three men she'd thought that they might have been able to tell whether or not they had a tail. If one of them had, they'd failed to mention it. Ildri shook her head and went back to studying Morrigan. The woman walked with an easy grace, and with the assurance of a person who knew where they were going. Ildri had never met a human woman who wasn't a snobby bitch, so she had nothing else to compare her to. It didn't take long to arrive at their destination – a small hut in the heart of the forest, with an old woman standing outside.<p>

"Mother, we have guests." Morrigan announced.

"Yes, girl. Come closer." The woman commanded. Morrigan led the group to the hut, and then stood behind her mother. Ildri rested one hand on her blade, and put the other on her hip. The old woman smirked. "Expecting trouble, are we?"

"I always expect trouble. Sometimes, I'm happily surprised." Ildri told her, and the woman cackled. The elf shivered in spite of herself. "Morrigan said you have something for me."

"Did she now?" The woman raised her brow. "And what might that be?"

"I think you know. You live in the Wilds, you must have noticed the creatures passing through. That means you know, or can at least guess, who and what we are."

"And what if I said I had no idea what you were speaking of?"

"Then I'd tell you to stop acting the fool. It's beneath you, and it insults my intelligence." The woman smiled.

"You are Grey Wardens then, or at least recruits. I have the treaties that you were no doubt sent to collect. Before you begin to berate me, I'll have you know that the chest's seal wore off long ago. I have protected these." The woman handed Ildri an old-fashioned leather envelope, and Ildri looked inside. She had no idea what they said, but the papers looked very official.

"I appreciate your cooperation." Ildri said, placing the envelope in her pack. "And now, we must be off."

"Hmph. Not quite what I expected." The woman groused, crossing her arms.

"Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?" Alistair asked. He might have queried further, but Ildri's glare quieted him.

"You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide, either way, one's a fool." The woman said.

"Alistair, maybe you should use the brain you're supposedly carrying around." Ildri said, exasperated.

"What do you mean?" Alistair asked.

"She had the Grey Warden treaties. Of _course_ she expected Grey Wardens to come looking for them." Ildri told him, and he blushed.

"Ha! And humans believe that elves are fools." Morrigan's mother laughed. "Humans are wrong about a great many things."

"You speak of humans like you're not one of them." Ildri said cautiously.

"An open mind. Very quick. But I shan't be telling you all of my secrets, girl. Morrigan doesn't even know them all." The woman shook her head in the direction they'd come from. "Off with you, now. And tell your Wardens that this Blight's threat is greater than they realize."

"I'm sure they'll be willing to jump all over any advice given by an elf, no matter the source." Ildri said wryly, and the old woman waved her hand in dismissal.

"That is no fault of yours, child. Morrigan, see that they do not get lost." The woman turned and went into the hut, leaving them with her daughter.

* * *

><p>Morrigan led them back to where she'd first found them, and left without saying a word. She quickly disappeared back into the forest without a trace. The three recruits and the Warden returned to the camp in almost complete silence. Thankfully, there were no more darkspawn in that part of the woods, and they were able to return to the camp just as the sun was setting. Ildri broke off from the group to take the flowers she'd collected to the kennel master, then went to Duncan's campfire. Alistair was telling Duncan about Morrigan and her mother.<p>

"I think that they're apostate mages." Alistair concluded.

"So long as you have the treaties, I could care less about people living in the Wilds. If they've survived this long against the 'spawn, do you honestly think a half-dozen Templars would even faze them?" Duncan's gaze fell on Ildri. "Alistair told me about the man you met." Ildri glared over at the blonde man. _Really? That's __**so**__ mature, Alistair. _"I wanted to thank you for ending his suffering." Ildri's eyes widened in surprise as she looked at the older man. _That's not what I expected to hear._ "That scouting band had been missing for nearly a day now. If the man was going to be saved, he would have needed treatment within the first few hours."

"I… um… you're welcome, I guess." Ildri murmured.

"Now, on to business. Ildri, I'd like for you to hold on to those treaties for now. I've been preparing things while you were away, and we are ready, now that you are here."

"What exactly does the Joining entail?" Jory asked, and Duncan sighed.

"It's not an easy task you're facing. The powers that be may demand your price now, or not. Your safety is not guaranteed."

"When is it ever?" Ildri asked. "Come on, then. I'd like to have it done."

"As you will, then. Alistair, take them to the old temple." Duncan took the vials of blood and left them in Alistair's care. He led them across the camp to where Ildri had first seen him.

"I had no idea that becoming a Grey Warden would be so dangerous." Jory murmured.

"Being a Grey Warden is dangerous, so why would becoming one be any less so?" Daveth asked the knight.

"I have a wife at home, with a child on the way. Why did they not tell me? Why does no one know?"

"Yes, because that would make a wonderful recruitment slogan, now wouldn't it." Daveth scoffed. "'Join the Grey Wardens! Sorry, but we can't tell you whether or not you'll survive making it in, but why not come along anyway?'"

"This is not fair!" The knight complained.

"She was right, you know." Daveth said. "Ildri. Nothing in life is ever fair. If it were, the darkspawn probably wouldn't be here." _That's the last thing I __**ever**__ expected to hear from a shem. Admitting that an elf was right? The whole world must be coming to an end._

"They could have at least warned us. I would not have come had I known I might not return to Helen."

"Haven't you been paying attention to anything? Even if you became a Warden, you'd have no life with her. Grey Wardens renounce their former lives. They never return to their families, to live out a normal life." Daveth told the knight.

"But-"

"Stow it, will you?" Ildri snapped. "I'm sick of listening to you bitch and whine." Jory frowned at her.

"That is not the way an elf should speak to a human."

"I don't think the Wardens care one way or another about humans versus elves. We're all equals. Now shut the fuck up before I make you." Ildri walked away from the group to study the statues lining the small area. She was trying to figure out what exactly they were supposed to be when Duncan arrived.

"And so, we come to the Joining." He was carrying a large goblet, and walked past them all to place it on a small table. "The Grey Wardens were founded during the First Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood, and mastered their taint." Ildri suddenly felt slightly ill, thinking of the stench those creatures' blood carried.

"We are going to drink their blood. The blood of those… abominations?" Jory finally managed to say, and Duncan nodded.

"As we have done before you, and as all Grey Wardens before us have. This is the key to our victory. This is how we defeat the darkspawn." He gestured towards the goblet.

"Grey Wardens are immune to the darkspawn taint. We gain the ability to sense the darkspawn, and with that, to slay the Archdemon."

"We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been spoken since the first." Duncan looked at Alistair. "If you would?" Alistair nodded and lowered his head as though in prayer.

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day, we shall join you." He raised his head and looked to Duncan. The older Warden picked up the goblet.

"Step forward, Daveth." The thief stepped bravely towards Duncan and accepted the goblet, raising it to drink. He handed it back to Duncan, who then took a step back. He opened his mouth to presumably make a witty comment, but Ildri never found out. Daveth clutched at his head and cried out in pain, falling to his knees. He began to cough and spit up a thick, black liquid. He looked up once more, and Ildri saw that his eyes were rolled into the back of his head so that only the whites were showing. "I am sorry, Daveth." Duncan murmured, but she didn't think the dying man heard him. Daveth's coughing stopped, and he fell to the ground. Duncan turned to Jory.

"I… I will not! I have a wife! Had I but known…"

"You were warned, Jory." Duncan told the knight. "I told you that you would be unable to return. But you were blinded by thoughts of glory. This is no fault of mine." Jory growled and drew his blade, and Duncan's followed soon after. "You have a choice. You can drink, and have a chance to live. Or you can die right now." The knight's only response was to rush towards the older man, swinging his blade. Duncan parried the first blow, and the second. Ildri drew her blade, ready to rush to Duncan's aid if need be. _Duncan's the first decent shem I've ever met. He's not dying now._ Ildri didn't have to worry – the skirmish was short-lived, and Duncan's blade slid through Jory's ribs, piercing his heart. Duncan withdrew his blade and Jory's lifeless body hit the ground. After cleaning his blade, the Warden turned to Ildri. Before he could speak, Ildri took the goblet from his hands and drank deeply. The liquid burned as it poured down her throat. It was easily the most vile-tasting substance she had ever tasted. Ildri lowered the goblet and swayed, waiting to see what would happen. _Will I die, screaming, like Daveth?_ The greatest pain Ildri had ever felt before blossomed behind her eyes. The goblet fell from her hands, and she pressed her hands to her head in an attempt to stop the pain. Ildri fell to her knees, grinding her teeth to keep from crying out. "…you are a Grey Warden." Duncan's voice boomed above her, but she didn't care. An unearthly cry filled her ears, and her pain was momentarily forgotten as a large creature flew past her. She watched it land and turn to face her.

—**ANOTHER SOUL DOOMED TO SERVE MY GOALS IN THE END—**

The voice reverberated through her body, and she did scream now. The creature was a dragon.

—**JUST LIKE THE OTHERS – IN CYCLES PAST THE NEW-DOOMED WERE FOREWARNED—**

_A fucking dragon is talking to me. _The voice laughed, and the sound grated against Ildri's ears.

—**NO MERE DRAGON AM I, NEW-DOOMED – I AM URTHEMIEL—**

The beast tilted its head, apparently studying her.

—**YOU ARE DIFFERENT – YOU ARE SIMILAR TO THE LAST ONE TO AVOID SERVICE TO US— **

It turned its head away for a moment, sensing something that the elf could not. When it looked back, she was certain it was smiling.

—**WE SHALL MEET AGAIN, NEW-DOOMED—**

It launched from its perch, quickly leaving her in clouds of dirt and dust stirred up from its wings. As the creature drew further away, Ildri felt her energy leave. She closed her eyes for a moment. She needed to rest.

* * *

><p>Ildri woke to see the stars gazing down at her. She felt something odd in her mouth, and raised her trembling hands to her face. It was a stick wrapped in leather.<p>

"Merely a precaution. Some recruits have seizures while they're out." Ildri tilted her head and saw Duncan standing over her.

"How long was I out?" She asked hoarsely. Duncan offered her a water pouch, and she sat up and drank greedily.

"A few hours. It's nearing midnight." He replied once she'd drunk her fill.

"Is that normal?"

"It's not common, no. It's usually no more than an hour." Duncan crouched beside her. "I also noticed that you had a far… stronger… reaction to the Joining than most. What do you remember?"

"A dragon." She whispered.

"Nightmares and visions are to be expected. The dragon you saw was most likely the Archdemon, the leader of the darkspawn horde."

"He called himself Urthemiel."

"You understood it?" Duncan asked sharply, and Ildri nodded. "What did it say?" Ildri recounted what she'd seen, and Duncan frowned.

"What did he mean? 'Similar to the last one to avoid service'?" Ildri asked. Duncan sighed and sat on the ground.

"It was likely referring to Garahel. He was an elf, like yourself."

"What happened to him?"

"He killed the fourth Archdemon. He did not survive."

"So he 'avoided service' by dying." Ildri's eyes widened and she looked up at Duncan. "What did you do to me?"

"It was not because of death that Garahel avoided this 'service', but because of how he died. He died in killing the Archdemon, stopping the darkspawn in their tracks."

"What happens to the Wardens that don't kill Archdemons?" Duncan remained silent. "Maker's blood, Duncan, talk to me!"

"You're a little young to be using such language, aren't you?" He chided gently.

"Don't change the subject." Ildri growled.

"I'm afraid that-"

"If you tell me that you're not going to tell me, I am going to be pissed."

"All I was going to say is that you should get some proper rest before we go into a full-length discussion. Give your body some time to recuperate, as well as your mind. You'll feel better in the morning, and you can better think of any questions you might have for me. Some, you may even be able to answer yourself." Ildri glared up at him, but she could tell that there were no more answers to be had that night.

"Fine. Where's my tent?" Ildri rose shakily to her feet.

"Are you going to be able to walk?" Duncan put his hand on her shoulder, but Ildri shrugged it off. "Very well. If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your tent." He kept a steady pace, and as soon as she had her boots off, Ildri collapsed onto her sleeping roll and fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading!<strong>

*** - Satinalia is the Thedosian version of Christmas, in case you didn't know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A couple surprises in this chapter!**

* * *

><p>Ildri woke the next morning to the sound of a hammer clanging on an anvil. She sat up with a groan.<p>

"So much for sleeping in." She grumbled to herself. She exited the tent and saw Alistair standing not far away. When he saw her, he waved and walked over.

"Good, you're up." He said with a small smile.

"What do you want?" She asked, and his smile slipped for a moment.

"Duncan asked that I give you your Grey Warden armor. He didn't have a chance to last night, and now Cailan's roped him into accompanying him for the day." Alistair offered her a bag, and Ildri looked inside. The armor was grey metal and blue and white striped cloth, with silver griffons on the chest and left shoulder. "You should probably get changed. The darkspawn are on the move."

* * *

><p>Tensions ran high in the camp as the day progressed. With the darkspawn finally advancing on their position, the army could be called to fight in a moment's notice. Ildri wandered the camp, hoping that she might be able to glean more answers from Duncan if he got away from Cailan. It didn't appear as though Cailan would be releasing him anytime soon; he seemed determined to have Duncan latched to his hip for the entire day. Ildri eventually gave up on shadowing them and headed back to the main encampment. She heard angry voices near one of the soldiers' camp fires and headed over just as two men came to blows. Ildri saw that there was no one nearby who looked as though they were going to break up the fight. In fact, some of the other soldiers were placing bets. Ildri stormed over towards them. One man had the other on the ground and was repeatedly punching the pinned man. She waited for him to raise his fist again, and caught it.<p>

"Stay out of it, knife-ears, or you'll be next." The man snarled. He jerked his fist free of her hand.

"Wrong answer." Ildri said. She placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled him as she slammed her knee into his chest, and it sounded as though she'd cracked a rib. The man clutched at his chest, and Ildri pushed him onto the ground.

"Who d'you think you are?" One of the soldiers demanded.

"I'd think even a group of uneducated morons such as you would recognize Grey Warden armor when you see it." Ildri said, putting her hands on her hips to more easily display the griffons emblazoned on her chest. The group fell silent, and Ildri looked down at the men who'd been brawling. "What do you two think you're doing?"

"Nothing that a Grey Warden need bother herself with." Wheezed the one man. "Ma'am." He added quickly.

"Nothing I need to bother with? There are darkspawn out in the forest just waiting to be slaughtered, and you decide to pick a fight with your fellow soldier here. I'd say that's Warden business."

"We was just-"

"I don't care what you were doing. You're threatening the success of the battle we're having today by trying to put each other in the infirmary. I wonder if the King might even consider that to be treason? After all, you're endangering Ferelden's safety." Ildri tapped a finger on her lips. _Hopefully they won't call my bluff… the last thing I want to do is go talk to that buffoon._

"There's no need to involve good King Cailan in this." The other said quickly. His lip was split open, and his face was already beginning to bruise.

"If I so much as _think _that you might be looking to cause trouble again, you'll both be in chains faster than you can blink. Off to the infirmary with you." She gestured dismissively, and the group dissipated.

"Good on ya. I didn't think I'd be very effective, seeing as I'm about as high as their bellybuttons. So I stayed out of it." Ildri turned towards the source of the voice. A short woman who barely came to Ildri's own chest was walking towards her. The woman had an odd marking on her right cheek, and it stood out drastically against her pale skin and red hair, which was drawn into long pig tails, with one running down past both her shoulder blades. She was also wearing the Grey Warden armor.

"I think it was the uniform more than anything. What with being an elf, and all." The woman's grey eyes settled on Ildri's ears.

"I noticed the slur. I used to get it all the time too." She gestured towards her own face. "Name's Nadia Brosca. You the new Warden?"

"Yes, I am." Ildri replied.

"I heard about your Joining. I have to admit, though, the knight was an ass. Figured that just 'cause I'm a dwarf all I do is smith." She scoffed. "As though anyone from the Smith caste would let me anywhere near a forge."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You're the first dwarf I've ever met."

"I'm casteless. In Orzammar, that meant that I wasn't worth a damn thing. I didn't exist. We're marked a while after we're born so that we don't try to 'rise above', or some sod."

"Elves are treated much the same up here." Ildri said sympathetically.

"At least you were given a chance to work. We aren't even given that. Apparently it insults the Ancestors to let a casteless dwarf to do anything that another caste can. That leaves us with begging, crime, or prostitution." Nadia said darkly.

"What did you do?" Ildri asked, and the dwarf shrugged.

"Not pretty enough to be a noble hunter, and too proud to beg."

"What's a noble hunter?"

"The Noble caste is running out of nobles. They're dying off 'cause there's so few of us to begin with, and they're dying off faster against the darkspawn than they can make more of 'em. So a casteless girl finds herself some noble and gets her belly full of noble brat, and hope it's a boy. A child's caste is inherited from their parents. Boys from fathers, girls from mothers. So if a casteless girl has some noble's daughter, she's not doing him any good. If she has his son, her entire family are brought up to live with him as long as the boy lives. That's the only way to get outta Dust Town."

"Ouch. And I thought _we_ had it bad." Ildri said, shaking her head.

"Ach, you didn't know. I can't blame you for the system." Nadia waved her hand in dismissal. "Have you met any of the other Wardens yet?"

"Just Duncan and Alistair."

"It's not like there's actually a whole lot of us to meet. There's only a dozen or so of us in Ferelden."

"Why so few? You'd think that with a Blight going on, there'd be more than that."

"We were just recently allowed back into Ferelden. I don't know all the details, but the Order was kicked out a couple centuries ago. And, there's also the fact that Fereldans and Orlesians don't get along."

"What about Orlais?"

"The closest place for Warden reinforcements is Orlais. The occupation only ended thirty or so years ago, and some people are still bitter about it."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're certainly well-informed for someone who's new to the surface."

"Stone, girl, takes more than that to offend me. I've been topside for six or so months now. Took my Joining with Alistair and one other. Poor sod." Nadia shook her head.

"What happened?"

"He was an elf. Not like you, he had tattoos on his face. One of them Dalish elves. Him and a friend had been exploring near the Dalish camp and found some kind of darkspawn relic, from what I understand. Made 'em both sick. They never did find the other boy. Anyway, when Theron had his Joining, apparently whatever sickness that was still there didn't like what we'd done. He started screaming and attacked Duncan. We had to put him down."

"That's awful." Ildri shuddered. "At least when Duncan had to take care of Jory it wasn't anywhere near as bad as that."

"And thank the Stone for that." Nadia told her. "What I wouldn't give to be able to forget that." The two women stood in silence for a moment.

"So what exactly are we waiting for?" Ildri asked, ending the silence.

"Sod if I know. Your king's still got Duncan on a pretty tight leash, so I think that we don't have to worry for a while." The dwarf looked up at the elf. "Why don't we take a walk while we talk? I don't like standing still too long, it's an old habit of mine."

"I don't mind at all." The two women walked the camp, talking about their homes and their families, and anything else they could think of. They finally got around to talking about how they'd joined the Wardens.

"I was working a job for Beraht. He ran the Carta, even though he was Merchant caste. Leske and me were supposed to get into the Provings and make sure Everd, one of the fighters, won. When we got there, Everd was drunk as a nug. He was up to fight next, and we didn't have time to go back to Beraht for help on this one. So I grabbed the guy's armor and put it on. I did good, too. Was going into the final round when Leske let Everd get away, and he wandered into the ring. I had to take off the helmet then. Leske and me ended up in Beraht's private dungeon, but we got out and we killed that son of a nug. We got outta there, and if I didn't go with Duncan they were gonna execute me." Nadia told Ildri.

"What's the Carta, and what are the Provings?" Ildri asked her.

"The Carta's the criminal outfit in Orzammar. And the Provings are fights between houses and warriors. They settle grudges between houses, and stuff like that. Casteless dwarves aren't allowed to fight, because apparently we're not good enough for it and sod like that. That's why there was so much to-do about me being in the Provings."

"That's just silly." Ildri scoffed. "In fact, the whole caste system is stupid."

"You're kicking at an open door here." Nadia assured her. "But there's nothing we can do about it. We're Grey Wardens. If something doesn't affect the Blight, then we don't worry about it."

"I know." Ildri sighed. "Doesn't mean I have to like it." She and Nadia stood leaning against an old wall, watching as the camp prepared for supper. Mostly elves with a few humans scattered amongst them worked in the makeshift kitchen area, and Ildri was surprised to see that she recognized one of them. She watched as Nessa doled out servings of soup to the soldiers lining up. The man behind the one currently being served tripped, falling into the man in front of him, who ended up dumping his soup all over Nessa's front. The girl frantically tried to clean off her clothes as one of the humans walked towards her.

"Clumsy elf!" He shouted, and cuffed her. Ildri rushed over, with Nadia hot on her heels.

"It wasn't my fault-" Nessa began.

"And lying now, to boot!"

"Leave her alone." Ildri growled. "You'd have to be blind or stupid to see that this wasn't her fault."

"Not another-" He noticed her uniform and swallowed audibly. "Yes, ma'am, what didja need?"

"I want you to stop harassing a girl for something that obviously wasn't her fault." Ildri looked over at Nessa, but the girl was staring at the ground. "Nessa, are you all right?" She looked up at her name, and smiled when she recognized Ildri.

"I'm all right, thanks." Ildri nodded and looked back at the human.

"You will treat all of the elves in your service better, or you'll hear from me."

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded jerkily, and Ildri left the pavilion.

"How does that count as Blight-related?" Nadia asked once they were far enough away.

"I don't think it does, but we could count it as elven brownie points." Ildri shrugged.

"You knew her?"

"We grew up together. Her family had to leave Denerim because the house they were living in was sold. I didn't know that they'd decided to come here."

"Does she and her family know about what happened at the Alienage?" The dwarf asked, and Ildri shook her head.

"They left a few days beforehand. If they did hear, it was because someone else from the Alienage came here, too." Ildri heard someone jogging behind them, and she spun around to face them.

"There you are." Alistair called out. "I was wondering if I'd ever find the two of you."

"What's up, salroka?" Nadia asked him. Alistair frowned.

"That's not another slur for humans, is it?" He asked warily.

"No, it's not. I called you friend." Nadia smiled. "We don't see humans often enough to have a slur for you."

"Oh, well that's nice." Alistair smiled back. "Anyway, after we eat Duncan needs to see us."

"We can do that." Ildri replied.

"Why don't you join us?" Nadia offered Alistair, and Ildri frowned at the diminutive woman. "We're going to be fighting together, so you two might as well get to know each other better." Alistair's eyes darted towards Ildri, and she huffed in annoyance.

"If you're coming, then let's get going. I'm hungry." Ildri interrupted, turning on her heels. When the three of them reached the front of the line, Nessa smiled and gave each of them an extra slice of bread to go along with their two bowls of soup. "Why do we get two bowls and everyone else only gets one?" Ildri asked of Nadia.

"Grey Wardens tend to eat more than regular soldiers. You'll see." Nadia said with a smile. Ildri raised a brow, but didn't say anything else. Ildri focused on her food, so it was up to Alistair to ask any questions he had first. She had finished the first bowl before Alistair spoke.

"So… how do you like it?" He asked cautiously.

"Like what?" Ildri asked. "You need to be specific."

"Being a Warden." He raised his arm and gestured around them. "Is it what you'd thought it would be?"

"Not really." She shrugged. "I hadn't expected to be treated any better here than I was in the Alienage. But I'm granted a bit of respect here, which is far more than I expected."

"Well, that's good, right?" He asked, and Ildri nodded. Alistair seemed to be mulling over his next question. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up here?" Ildri stopped moving, her spoon halfway to her mouth. Her eyes snapped up to meet Alistair's. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't offend you." He apologized quickly.

"I killed a man." Ildri hissed. "I butchered that shemlen, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Alistair paled, and Ildri resumed eating.

"What she's not telling you is that he deserved it." Nadia cut in, earning a glare from Ildri. "He attacked her family." Alistair licked his lips nervously and then focused all of his attention on his meal. Ildri was content to eat in silence, and surprised herself when she wasn't completely full after eating her meal. She looked longingly towards the food line, but followed Nadia and Alistair away.

"Why did you go and tell him that?" Ildri whispered to Nadia.

"Because he's not your enemy." Nadia replied. "I completely understand why you feel the way you do about humans, but you can trust Alistair. You also need to. You're going to be fighting together, and watching each other's backs. He's your brother now, like it or not." Ildri's lip curled, but she remained silent. _I'll be the judge of whether or not I can trust him._ It appeared that Duncan had finally given Cailan the slip.

"I am sorry that I have been so busy today." Duncan greeted them.

"So what's happening?" Nadia asked.

"Most of us are riding with the king's vanguard." Duncan replied.

"What does that mean?" Ildri asked, and Alistair answered.

"That means we're in the thick of battle, right where the only twelve Wardens this side of Orlais should _not_ be." He shook his head. "What in the void is he playing at, Duncan?"

"I am unsure. He seems to believe that he honors us with this." Duncan replied. "However, he has a specific task for the two of you." He gestured towards Ildri and Alistair.

"What's that?" Ildri asked.

"The two of you are to go to the Tower of Ishal and light a signal fire there. You'll have a good view of the field from there. When the 'spawn are engaged, you are to light the fire so Teyrn Loghain knows when he is to flank them."

"Why me?" Alistair demanded. Duncan responded only with silence, and the young man sighed. "Fine. But you owe me for this."

"Thank you." Duncan nodded towards Alistair. "Nadia, you're with the rest of us on the front lines."

"Yes, Duncan." She replied.

"We move out in half an hour." Duncan informed them. He started to walk away, but Alistair called out to him.

"Duncan." He turned back to face the younger Warden. "Maker watch over you."

"May He watch over us all." Duncan completed the benediction, and when neither of the women spoke, he left.

"So, the front lines." Ildri commented to Nadia.

"Sounds like it. And from what Alistair says, it's not going to be fun."

"It won't be." Ildri told her. "You stay safe, now. I better see you on the other side."

"You too, elf." The dwarf smiled and extended her arm, which Ildri clasped. "Stone keep you and hold you up."

"Thank you. You as well." Ildri smiled.

* * *

><p>Nadia had joined Duncan down with the rest of the army, while Ildri and Alistair headed for the Tower of Ishal. It was the largest part of the ruin still standing, so it was quite easy to find. Loghain's men had spent the previous few days clearing out much of the rubble inside, and they hadn't let anyone else in, so neither Warden had yet to see the inside. The battle had begun down below them, and Ildri found herself staring down as she crossed the bridge more than once. The darkspawn were a writhing mass off in the distance. Ildri couldn't hear the orders given, but she watched as the 'spawn charged the king's lines and watched as thousands of arrows flew through the air and tore through the darkspawn ranks. The mabari were then loosed, and finally, the soldiers charged. Ildri jumped as a hand fell on her shoulder.<p>

"We shouldn't linger." Alistair said. However, his gaze strayed to the battle below them as well. "The faster we get that signal lit, the faster we can join them." Ildri nodded and shrugged his hand off her shoulder. They made their way to the tower, and they met one of Loghain's men fleeing.

"What's going on?" Ildri shouted at him. The man sighed in relief at seeing the silver griffons on their armor and rushed towards them.

"The darkspawn have taken the tower. Most of our men are dead, and I was going to get help. Thank the Maker you arrived when you did." The man panted.

"And you were thinking we wouldn't get to fight." Ildri said wryly to Alistair. "Let's get going." The guard they'd found joined up with them, and the three of them went into the tower. After clearing out the darkspawn in the main room, they entered one of the rooms in the back. Ildri might have fallen into the large hole in the middle of the room during the fight if Alistair hadn't grabbed her elbow and pulled her back. Once the darkspawn were dead, Ildri inspected the hole. "Thanks." She mumbled to Alistair as he walked up beside her.

"Not a problem." He gestured towards the hole. "What do you think of it?"

"It's fresh, that's for sure." Ildri pointed at the new-turned dirt before turning towards the guard. "Was this here all along?"

"I don't know, ma'am. I wasn't one of them what cleared out the tower; I was posted outside. The darkspawn came outta the tower and I ran. That's when I met up with you two." He replied. Ildri didn't think that he was lying, there wasn't a reason for it.

"This is disturbing. Isn't Loghain supposed to be a great tactician or something?" Ildri directed her question towards Alistair, who nodded.

"He made up the battle plan."

"You'd think he'd have noticed a tunnel like this, or the makings of one."

"Everyone makes mistakes." Alistair defended. "Loghain has just as much riding on the outcome of this battle as the rest of us do."

"If you say so." Ildri replied blandly. "Let's go kill more monsters."

* * *

><p><em>Am I the only one trying to find out how the flying <strong>fuck<strong> this thing made it up the stairs?_ This had been the last thing she'd expected upon reaching the top of the tower. This... _creature_ that they'd found at the top of the tower was huge. It stood at least ten or twelve feet tall, and if any of them got caught in its hands... She shuddered, trying not to think of how painful a way to die that would be.

"You two!" Ildri shouted. "Keep its back to me. I don't want it to notice me until the last minute." Alistair nodded and shrugged his shield off his back as the guard did the same.

"What are you going to be doing?" Alistair called back.

"Don't worry about me. Unless it steps on me, or picks me up. Then you can worry." Ildri drew her sword and dagger, then made her way behind the beast. Alistair and the guard they'd picked up were doing their best to keep it distracted, and so far it was working. Ildri hoped that this thing was put together the same way that she was, and slashed behind its left thigh with her sword in an attempt to hamstring the beast. It roared and tried to spin around to face her, but its leg wouldn't support its weight anymore and it fell to its knee. Ildri tried to hop backwards out of the way, but was struck by a wayward fist. She flew across the room and smacked heavily into the wall. Ildri struggled to her feet, but the world around her was spinning.

"You all right?" Alistair shouted.

"I'll live!" She found her blades and rejoined the battle. Even disabled, this thing was still dangerous. It grabbed the guard, and the man's scream was cut short as the monster squeezed its fist. It tossed the bloody mess that now remained of the man, and it hit the wall with a sickening thud. It focused its attentions on Alistair, and Ildri ran across the room and launched herself at the creature's back. It apparently hadn't noticed the slight change in weight, and Ildri quickly climbed its back until she stood in its shoulder. She quickly raised her sword and plunged it into the thing's eye until only the hilt of her blade showed. The monster bellowed in pain and fell forwards. Ildri grabbed onto its horns and sat behind its head, preventing her from being trapped beneath its body. It thrashed around for a moment before lying still.

"You're going to need a new sword." Alistair commented.

"I agree. I really don't want to go fishing around for that one." Ildri looked around the room. "You go get that fire lit, and I'll see about finding a new sword." Alistair nodded and walked towards the fire. Ildri walked towards where the guard who'd accompanied them had fallen, and when Alistair wasn't looking, carefully went through his pockets. _You never know, he could have something that might come in handy later. And it's not like he needs his stuff anymore._ She reached into his pockets without finding much, not even coin.

"Get over here! You have to see this!" Alistair shouted angrily. He was standing at a window, looking down at the battlefield. "Do you see the wyvern standard down there? The big flag-looking thing?" Ildri scanned the field and found it.

"It's leaving." Ildri commented.

"That's Teyrn Loghain's standard!" He informed her, fuming. "Maker's blood, what is he doing?"

"I don't know." Ildri replied tersely. "How badly did the Wardens need that flanking movement?"

"Very badly."

"I don't think that two more bodies are going to help much, but we need to try. Let's get moving." She grabbed the sword that the guard had dropped, and the pair of them made their way towards the door. Just as they reached it, a fireball from an Emissary caused it to explode off its hinges. Alistair was thrown back, as he'd been closer, but Ildri drew her blades. "Alistair!" She called over to him as darkspawn flooded the room. "Alistair, get up off your ass!" She looked over her shoulder and saw him slumped against a wall, unconscious. She charged towards the line of darkspawn, brandishing her blades. A crossbow bolt to her thigh caused her to stagger, but not to stop. She took another one to her shoulder, and she hissed in pain. A shadow darted across the floor, distracting her for a moment. The elf followed where it had gone without thinking and turned her back against the darkspawn. A loud noise rang out overhead, unlike anything Ildri had ever heard before. The tower shook around her as something large landed above her. Orange flames shot towards the darkspawn, and the room filled with the sounds of their screams and the smell of rotting, burning flesh. Ildri collapsed to her knees. _Great. Dragon. I'll be next._ Her eyelids began to droop, and she didn't bother fighting to keep them open. _Can't do anything against a dragon like this._ She slid to the floor, being careful of her injured shoulder and thigh. _And they didn't even hit the same side. Assholes._ Her eyes finally shut as the dragon cried out again.

* * *

><p><em>"Got here... too late." He rattled, coughing up blood.<em>

_"No, you didn't. You were able to save me, and we're going to save the others." He laughed grimly._

_"I don't know anything about it, but I'm pretty sure you can't fix me now." She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. He reached into a pocket and pulled something out, pressing it into her hand. "I had hoped to put that on you earlier. I made it." Ildri looked down to see what it was, and it was a small golden band. With her hands trembling as they were, it took her two tries to slip the ring on her finger. Once it was on, she smiled down at him.  
><em>

_"It's beautiful. And it fits perfectly. Thank you, Nelaros." He smiled a red smile and breathed his last. Just as she laid him down, he turned into Urthemiel. Ildri pushed herself away as quickly as she could, but was unable to escape. He turned his glowing red gaze down upon her._

—**I WILL WIN, LITTLE THING—THERE IS NAUGHT YOU CAN DO BUT DELAY ME—**

"_I'm not about to roll over and play dead!" She shouted up defiantly. "I will do everything in my power to stop you!"_ _He laughed in Ildri's head, and she clapped her hands over her ears in a vain attempt to block both the noise and the pain that came with it._

—**TRY ALL YOU LIKE, NEW-DOOMED—NOT IN YOUR LIFETIME, NOR FOR MANY AFTER YOURS, WILL YOUR KIND HAVE EVEN A CHANCE TO DEFEAT MY BROTHERS AND I—YOU WILL NOT WIN—**

"_Half a chance is better than none, you stupid overgrown lizard!" She hollered. Urthemiel merely snorted at her, smoke exiting his nostrils, before throwing himself into the air. "I will stop you!" She promised, shouting after his retreating form. _

—**A CHILDISH RESPONSE, NEW-DOOMED— **

Ildri shot up in the bed, panting. _Wait a minute. I'm in a bed?_ She looked around the room. There was a human woman with her back turned to Ildri. The woman was standing over a pot, stirring its contents.

"I was wondering when you would bestir yourself." The woman spoke, startling Ildri. "Mother said 'twould be today, whilst I thought not until the morrow."

"Where am I?" Ildri demanded, and the woman turned. "Morrigan."

"'Tis I. We are back in the Wilds. My mother was able to rescue and your… friend… from atop the tower."

"Maker damn it all." Ildri groaned. "Of all the people on top of the Tower with me, it had to be Alistair. Son of a bitch."

"Yes, I believe that was his name." Morrigan commented.

"And what about the other Wardens?" The elf asked.

"If any survived, I did not see them." The woman said. Ildri merely sighed. "You seem to be taking this much better than _he_ did." Morrigan shook her head towards the door. "I suppose 'twould be unkind of me to say that he is being childish, and rather aggravating."

"I honestly couldn't care less about what he thinks." Ildri informed the woman. She looked around the room once more. Morrigan had apparently discerned her intent and directed the elf's gaze towards her armor. "I was able to remove the armor without much trouble. It should still be quite serviceable."

"I don't know much about armor, Morrigan." Ildri chuckled. "I probably won't be able to tell any better than you." After a quick look-over, Ildri saw that the armor had been repaired where the arrows had pierced. She shuddered despite herself and quickly pulled the armor on. She did her best to avoid looking at her newest scars, but it was difficult because of where they were located. They were rather small, she thought, only being an inch or so in diameter, for which Ildri was immensely grateful. Once she was dressed, she turned back to face Morrigan. "So, we saw that Loghain left the field… I'm assuming that the darkspawn won?"

"Indeed they did." The woman nodded. "Any survivors, that I saw, the 'spawn captured and dragged beneath the earth. For what reason, however, I know not."

"Whatever their reasons, I doubt they're pretty." Ildri shook her head. Her thoughts drifted to Nessa and Nadia, and she felt tears build up. Blinking rapidly, Ildri pushed them away. _Now is not the time for grief. That can come later._ "I guess I can't really put off going outside much longer, can I?"

"I think not." The woman smirked. "Mother asked to see you once you woke. She is outside, with the other Warden."

"I… I appreciate your help, Morrigan." It was the second time in as many days that Ildri had come anywhere near thanking a shemlen, but she felt that Morrigan deserved it.

"I did little, 'twas mostly Mother. I am not adept at healing magic." She waved her hand in dismissal. Ildri nodded and left the hut.

* * *

><p>A quarter of an hour later found Ildri, Alistair and Morrigan heading towards a small village called Lothering. Flemeth – Morrigan's mother – had foisted the young woman upon them, and Ildri was very grateful to have more than just Alistair for company, even if it was another human. On the other hand, the mage and almost-Templar's constant bickering was getting on the elf's nerves. Ildri was doing her best to tune them out, but it was getting difficult. Morrigan was nearly shrieking at Alistair when Ildri thought she heard something.<p>

"Quiet!" She hissed, and the witch fell silent. It hadn't taken long to establish that Ildri, for some odd reason, was the leader of their merry little band. Ildri peered into the brush around them, looking for the source of whatever noise she might have heard. She heard a dog barking, and the noise drew closer, until a familiar-looking mabari shot out of the brush a few feet in front of the group. It was covered in scratches and cuts, and its fur was matted and bloody, but it seemed glad to have found someone. It was walking with a slight limp, but it steadily walked over to Ildri, sitting down before her. She knelt down and scratched behind its ears. "Are you the guy I helped out back at Ostagar?" She asked, and it barked in reply.

"I think he was looking for you." Alistair said, and Ildri half-turned to look at him. "They call it imprinting. A mabari chooses its master, not the other way around. It's supposed to be a sign of good character if you're chosen." Ildri chuckled and turned back around to face the hound.

"I'll bet there haven't been many elves with their own mabari, hey boy?" She mumbled, and he replied by licking her cheek. "Oi! I don't know where that thing was last!" She laughed.

"I take it that we are adding him to our party?" Morrigan asked wryly.

"So it seems." Ildri replied. "Can you come take a look at him? I don't know how hurt he might be."

"As I said before, I am not adept at healing." The witch grumbled, but at Ildri's glare, she amended her statement. "But that does not mean that I'll not look at him." Morrigan approached carefully, and knelt beside Ildri. She waved her hand over the mabari, her hand glowing with a green light. "There does not appear to be any serious damage. In time, his few wounds will heal. They are merely superficial." Ildri dipped her head in thanks, and the gesture was returned. Ildri rose from the ground, and the dog leapt to his paws to stay at her side.

"Let's get going." Ildri addressed the pair following her. "I'm hungry."

"Grey Wardens are always hungry." Alistair informed her with a smile. The elf ignored him and continued down the path. The group made it to Lothering with no further interruptions, much to Ildri's relief. The four of them quickly dispatched the highwaymen that greeted them upon arrival and proceeded into the village. Morrigan had suggested that they swing by the tavern, so Ildri allowed the other woman to lead the way, seeing as she was the most familiar with the village. Beside the bridge that crossed the small river that ran through the village, Ildri saw an elven family.

"Hold a moment." She called out to Morrigan, and the woman complied, although she appeared to be irritated by the delay. "What happened to you?" Ildri asked the elven man.

"We were trying to escape the darkspawn." He explained. "The bandits though… they stole everything we had, even my daughter's pet lamb." Ildri fished through her purse and handed him a sovereign. Upon seeing it, his eyes widened to nearly the same size as the coin itself.

"Here." Ildri pressed it into his hands, ignoring his protests. "I wish that there was more I could do. We killed the bandits, so your stuff should be there."

"Thank you, thank you!" The man cried in relief. "Maker bless you, milady."

"There's no need to thank me. We're kin, after all. It'll be a sad day in Thedas when elves don't help each other out." Ildri smiled brightly at the family, and they hurried to collect their belongings. Morrigan opened her mouth, likely to make an acidic comment. "Let's get going." Ildri gestured forwards before the woman spoke. Morrigan shut her mouth so firmly that her teeth clicked, then spun on her heel to lead the rest of the group to the tavern. Several of Loghain's men were there, looking for Grey Wardens who'd survived the battle at Ostagar.

"Look here, men. I think we've just been blessed." One of the men sneered down at Ildri.

"This should be fun." Ildri grinned, drawing her blades.

"There's no need to fight!" A red-haired woman in Chantry robes stepped forward. "This is unnecessary." Ildri couldn't place the woman's accent.

"If they're looking for a fight, they're damn well gonna get one." Ildri growled.

"To arms!" The man shouted, drawing his greatsword. The red-head joined in the fight, and Ildri thought she saw another stranger join in as well, but she focused on the enemies. There were only four of them, and they were easily dispatched. The last man, however, attempted to surrender.

"Would you have accepted, had I been the one to surrender?" Ildri asked softly.

"I… um…" The man stammered.

"And I have my answer." Ildri stabbed him, ending his life quickly. Ildri quickly cleaned her blades and turned to address the strangers, but found that her words stuck in her throat. "Nadia?" She asked softly, not daring to speak louder. The dwarf smiled up at her.

"Damn, girl. I never thought I'd see you again." Nadia grinned up at the elf and clapped her on the arm.

"How did you survive?" Alistair asked, having finally seen the dwarf.

"I was injured, and I crawled out away from the battle. When I saw Loghain abandon us, I knew we were done for. I stayed for a while, but Duncan told me to leave. He said that someone, anyone, needed to get out of there alive." Nadia swallowed, her voice thick with emotion. "I… I didn't want to. But I knew that I needed to."

"It's okay. We're not blaming you." Ildri reassured the other woman. When Alistair said nothing, Ildri looked pointedly at him. "Are we, Alistair?"

"I understand if you're upset with me, Alistair." Nadia told him.

"He gave you an order, and you followed it." Alistair said with a small smile. "I can't fault you for that." Nadia's face broke split into a wide smile.

"I hate to interrupt…." Ildri turned to face the red haired woman with the odd accent.

"Well, then don't interrupt." Ildri snapped. The woman looked shocked to be spoken to so abruptly.

"Ildri, Alistair, this is Leliana. She's part of the Chantry." Nadia introduced the woman.

"So?" Ildri shrugged.

"A lay sister, actually." The woman chimed in. "You three are Grey Wardens, correct? You are going to need help. I would like to come with you."

"I don't even _know_ you." Ildri scowled.

"But Nadia does." The woman protested, looking to the dwarf for help.

"Not that well, girly." Nadia shook her head.

"But I can help!" Leliana said. "I can pick locks, and disarm traps-"

"Both of which we can do." Ildri interrupted, gesturing to Nadia. "There's no need for dead weight." Alistair looked as though he might protest, but he held his tongue.

"But the Maker told me to come with you! I had a dream! There was a sign and everything!" The woman protested. _Maker preserve me, she's fucking insane._

"You, your Maker, and your Chantry can take your dreams and your signs and shove them up your collective _asses. _Leave us alone." Ildri growled.

"Very well. I will leave for now." The woman bowed her head and left the tavern. Ildri sat down at the nearest table, and the others followed suit.

"By the way, Nadia, this is Morrigan. We met her in the Wilds."

"Oh, I heard about you. Your mother had the treaties." Nadia said, looking over at the raven-haired woman.

"Her mother saved our lives, and she sent Morrigan along to help us." Ildri explained. "She's a mage. Pretty useful so far, too."

"Are you going to continue on as though I am not here, or am I welcome to join the conversation?" Morrigan asked acerbically.

"That wasn't my intention, to speak over your head like that." Ildri told the mage. Morrigan raised a brow, but said nothing. "So, you've been here a while. Anything interesting happening around here?" Ildri asked Nadia.

"Not very much. The local lord went to Ostagar, taking all the troops with him. There's no one left to defend the village." Nadia replied. "There's a Qunari fellow caged up just outside the tavern. He killed a family of farmers, so the Chantry woman decided to put him in a cage." Ildri's lip curled.

"I thought the Chantry was all about mercy, and redemption?" The elf snarled, and the dwarf merely shrugged.

"I don't know a lot about this surface stuff. Most of my time up here's been spent fighting darkspawn." Nadia explained.

"Maybe we can talk him into joining us." Ildri tapped her lip, thinking.

"You'd have a _murderer_ join us?" Alistair sputtered.

"You're the only heavy hitter we've got. We're probably going to need more than one." Ildri pointed out. Alistair frowned, but Ildri didn't care what he felt about it. "If we can talk him into joining us, then he'll come along. Understood?" Morrigan's lips curled into a small smile, but she remained silent. Alistair had no more to say on the subject apparently, only shaking his head.

"So you're in charge?" Nadia asked. Ildri flushed slightly and looked over at her.

"It wasn't exactly my idea." She said softly. "If you'd like to take over, then you can." Ildri felt that she should at least offer to hand the reins over to Nadia, if only because she was a senior Warden, and outranked her.

"No, you go ahead." Nadia waved a hand dismissively. "It's not like I'm unused to taking orders, and you seem to be doing a fine job of it." Ildri smiled at the dwarf for a moment.

"Is there anything else that anyone would like to add?" She directed the question mostly towards Morrigan, seeing as she was the one with the most knowledge of the area. When no one responded, Ildri rose from the table. "Then let's get going."

* * *

><p>The group of five explored some of the village before going to talk to the Qunari. Ildri was sure that some of the villagers might protest at seeing him wandering the village, so she wanted to make sure that all other business was taken care of first. There was a merchant over by the Chantry, and after driving off the Chantry sister standing nearby, Ildri did some trading with him. She drove off the Chasind man standing in the Chantry courtyard before entering the building. She wanted to speak to the Revered Mother about the Qunari before releasing him.<p>

"Maker's blessing upon you. Would you care to donate to the Chantry?" The Revered Mother said in greeting.

"Why would I want to do that?" Ildri scoffed.

"Perhaps because it is the right thing to do?" The woman said, frowning.

"Yeah. Sure. The day the Chantry does the 'right thing' by my people, I'll help you out. How's that sound?" Ildri replied flippantly.

"Do you have any idea how many people could be fed with just a quarter of your finery?" The Revered Mother asked.

"Why don't you ask yourself the same question before demanding that I hand over my coin." Ildri snapped. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Tell me about the Qunari."

"What about him?" The Revered Mother's frown deepened. "The man is a murderer."

"Maybe you could tell me exactly what happened." Ildri said.

"He was found at the farmstead, covered in blood. He didn't deny killing everyone there, even the children. He shows no remorse for his actions. Not that I would expect it from a savage such as him." The woman spat.

"How many men did you lose bringing him in?" Ildri asked.

"None. He surrendered, and came along willingly." She admitted.

"Isn't that a sign of remorse? Because I'm pretty sure, from everything that I've ever heard about Qunari, that he could have killed all of your guards if he wanted to." Ildri asked. The Revered Mother didn't answer, and Ildri smirked. "So, I'll be taking him with me when I leave. I just figured I'd warn you."

"What madness is this?" The woman demanded. "What authority do you have to take him?"

"The Right of Conscription." Ildri declared. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

"You do realize that Teyrn Loghain has declared all Grey Wardens to be traitors, don't you? We could detain you."

"And you'd lose the few men you have remaining to defend your village." Ildri said menacingly. "Don't push your luck." The Revered Mother glared at Ildri balefully, but eventually looked away.

"Take him and be gone." She tossed a key at Ildri. "That unlocks his cage. The chest over there contains the few possessions that he had." Ildri smirked at the woman before walking over to the chest. There was a set of armor, but little else.

"He didn't have a weapon?" Ildri asked incredulously.

"He slaughtered them with his bare hands." The Revered Mother seethed. Ildri shrugged and removed the armor from the chest. Once they were outside, Alistair spun on her.

"That was completely uncalled for!" He accused.

"What? I didn't threaten _her_, not specifically…" Ildri replied.

"You implied it." Alistair growled.

"Only after she threatened us." Ildri pointed out. "She was never going to call the guards on us, Alistair. She was bluffing."

"What makes you so sure?" He demanded.

"I'm really, really good at Wicked Grace." Ildri replied with a grin.

"I will _not_ fight Templars, or any other representatives of the Chantry." Alistair proclaimed.

"You will if they interfere with us ending the Blight." Ildri growled. "So don't make promises you can't keep." Alistair's mouth opened for a moment, but he closed it so quickly that Ildri heard his teeth click. Ildri set off, back towards the tavern to get the Qunari. As she drew closer, she heard him chanting.

"Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun." The man in the cage was a veritable giant. Ildri guessed that he was nearly seven feet tall. He had bronze-colored skin, and when he opened his eyes, she noticed that his eyes were actually a rather lovely shade of violet. "What do you want, elf? I'll not entertain you, no more than I have any others."

"My name is Ildri. I am a Grey Warden, and I want your assistance to end the Blight." She informed him. He raised a white brow and looked her over.

"You are a Grey Warden?" He asked dubiously.

"The Wardens take whatever assistance they can get." Ildri replied determinedly.

"If you can secure my release-"

"Already done." Ildri replied with a grin, waving the key.

"Then I will come, and seek my atonement." He nodded.

"What do I call you, anyway?" Ildri asked as she unlocked the door.

"I am Sten of the Beresaad, the vanguard of the Qun." He replied proudly. His eyes flickered for a moment and his shoulders sagged slightly, but Ildri said nothing.

"Welcome aboard, Sten." She handed him the armor that she had reclaimed. "So, do you fight with a greatsword, or sword and shield?"

"Greatsword." He grunted, putting on his armor.

"I'll get you one right away." She promised.

"No need." Alistair spoke from behind her, causing Ildri to jump in surprise. _How in the Maker's name did he sneak up on me?_ She scowled at the other Warden as he presented Sten with a greatsword. "For a fellow warrior, it's relatively easy to tell what weapons another warrior uses." He explained to Ildri, which made her scowl lessen in intensity. Once Sten had inspected the weapon, Ildri headed to the road that lead out of the village. They came upon a pair of dwarves under attack by a small group of darkspawn, which the group quickly engaged. Sten swept into the battle, taking on the Hurlock Alpha. Morrigan shot out a stream of ice, freezing the darkspawn approaching her solid. Alistair quickly smashed his shield into one, shattering it.

"Stay with Morrigan!" Ildri ordered the as-of-yet unnamed mabari hound, pointing to the mage. He barked in response then positioned himself at Morrigan's side, attacking any darkspawn that tried to sneak up on her. Ildri and Nadia circled and danced through the darkspawn's midst, hacking and slashing at exposed backs. Before long, the darkspawn were dead. Ildri looked the group over quickly, ensuring that no one was grievously injured.

"Bodahn!" Nadia called out. "I didn't expect to see you up here." The older dwarf smiled in relief at seeing her.

"Nadia, is that you? Why, I could say much the same about yourself!"

"Ildri, this is Bodahn Feddic, a merchant. I did a few odd jobs for him once in a while, when Beraht didn't have any work for me." She turned to Bodahn's companion. "Who's this?"

"Enchantment?" The younger dwarf asked.

"Ah, yes. This is Sandal. Long story short, I found him in the Deep Roads, and I've taken him on as my son." Bodahn put a protective hand on Sandal's shoulder. "But what are you doing up here? I never thought you'd leave Rica." A pained grimace flashed across Nadia's features.

"Long story short, I pissed some people in Orzammar off, and now I'm a Grey Warden." Bodahn grinned, hearing his words echoed back at him.

"Well, good for you. I knew you were better than the slums." He turned to address Ildri. "The roads are mighty dangerous these days, you know. Maybe we're headed the same way? I'll be perfectly happy to offer you a discount for the trouble of us accompanying you." Ildri didn't respond immediately, taking a moment to think. Having a merchant travelling with them might slow them down some, but it might be worth it to have supplies available to them all the time. She looked at her companions, trying to gauge their thoughts on it. Sten appeared nonchalant about it, as did Morrigan, but Alistair and Nadia appeared to like the idea.

"I see no reason to disallow it." Ildri said with a shrug.

"Thank you, messere. You won't regret this." Bodahn bowed slightly.

"All right." Ildri said, slightly uncomfortable. She didn't think that bowing was necessary, but decided to ignore it. "We're heading out."

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, so I messed with some timelines. So sue me. Actually, please don't. I decided to mess with them some because it this whole 'war on the Blight' thing shouldn't have been all last-second. I think that there would have been some signs that Grey Wardens would recognize. Duncan's also been in Ferelden for a while, so it makes sense that he wouldn't have started recruiting at the last second. I also took Alistair's dialogue from after your Joining – <strong>_**"Only one of us died at my Joining, but it was... horrible."**_** – and I ran with it. Speaking of Alistair, if someone thinks I'm getting out of character, please let me know. I'm trying to write him the way he is at the beginning of the game – slightly naïve, and somewhat cautious about unknowns. At least, that's the impression that I got of him.**

**On a side note, this is the translation of Sten's prayer: "Struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun."**

* * *

><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Ildri had first watch at camp. They had travelled some ways outside of Lothering before the sun began to set, and they'd set up camp. Ildri had set up her own tent a little far off from Nadia, Sten and Alistair's tents, but not nearly so far as Morrigan had set hers up. Ildri had frowned, but not said anything. _If she wants to hide out by herself, so be it. _Ildri gathered everyone at the fire after cooking the meal, so that they could eat and make plans together.

"I'm not very familiar with anything outside of Denerim, so I'm going to have to rely on what ideas you all might have about where we should go." Ildri admitted. She didn't like to reveal any kind of weakness, but in this case it was necessary.

"Just gaining armies won't be enough." Alistair spoke up. Ildri wished that he hadn't been the first to offer an idea, but she decided to hear him out. _He knows far more about shemlen politics and whatnot than I do._ She gestured for him to continue. "Loghain has declared all Grey Wardens traitors to the crown, which means we won't exactly be able to just walk into Denerim and announce our presence, if we can get in at all." Ildri flinched. She hadn't thought that they might not be able to get into Denerim. _My family probably thinks I'm dead, and there might not even be a way to let them know that the rumors are false, and that I'm alive. _"We might not even be able to defeat the Archdemon with just the treaty armies."

"What do you mean?" Nadia asked.

"If it attacks Denerim, we're royally screwed." Alistair replied. "We probably wouldn't be allowed in the city, and if we are, it'll be because all of Loghain's men are dead."

"I take it you have an idea to get us into the city, then?" Ildri asked cautiously, and Alistair nodded.

"We need a politician, someone to speak for us. Someone with a voice in the Landsmeet, who can help us bring Loghain to justice."

"Oh, I'll just pull a politician out of my pocket." Ildri made a show of reaching into her pocket. "Oh, wait, I forgot. I left him in my other pair of pants."

"We need Arl Eamon." Alistair said tightly.

"And who is that?" Nadia asked. "I'm unfamiliar with your titles up here still."

"He raised me. I trust him, he's a good man. Cailan was his nephew, for Maker's sake!"

"Loghain was once a good man, too." Ildri said quietly. "And Cailan's father in law."

"I know Eamon. He's a good man, he wouldn't _do_ something like that!" Alistair shouted. "Would it hurt to go talk to him? Redcliffe is just past the Circle Tower. It's not far out of our way."

"Fine. We'll go talk to the man." Ildri said, throwing her hands in the air. "I'll take first watch. Everyone else, get to bed."

* * *

><p>The night passed without incident, and in the morning Ildri cooked breakfast.<p>

"You don't have to cook all the meals, you know." Alistair told her as she handed him his portion.

"I'm scared that if you cook, you might poison us all by accident." Ildri told him. He chuckled, but when she didn't smile, he frowned.

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Absolutely." She replied immediately. His frown deepened, and he went to eat his breakfast. Once they were done and packed up, they headed west. It took them a few days to reach Redcliffe. Upon arrival Alistair stopped at the top of the hill, apparently admiring the view. When Ildri caught up to him she made to continue walking down the hill.

"Ildri… there's something I should probably tell you." Alistair said reluctantly. "You too, Nadia."

"I'm not going to like it, am I?" Ildri asked, stopping. She gestured for Sten and Morrigan to continue down the hill as Nadia stopped to stand beside her.

"Probably not. I've never liked it, that's for sure." Alistair waited for the others to move beyond earshot before speaking. "I mentioned that I knew Arl Eamon earlier, yes? Anyway, he took me in as a favor to a friend."

"So you're some noble's bastard?" Ildri snapped. "You really thought it was that important for me to know?"

"Let the man speak, Ildri." Nadia chided gently. She turned to Alistair, waiting for him to continue, and Ildri rolled her eyes.

"Not just any noble… my father was King Maric." Ildri frowned and studied her fellow Warden's face, comparing him to the boy king she'd met at Ostagar.

"You do look like him. Like Cailan." Ildri explained. "But with Cailan dead, you know what this means, right?" Alistair raised a brow at her. "You're the heir to the throne."

"No, not happening. Nope." He shook his head emphatically. "I was informed at an early age that there was no throne in my future. If anyone is going to be the king, it should be Eamon. He's Cailan's uncle."

"Through the boy's mother, not his father." Ildri pointed out. "I guess we could do worse than you for a king. You've actually seen battle now, unlike Cailan."

"I told you, I'm not going to be the king!" Alistair threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"Whatever the lordlings want, they get. What anyone else wants isn't important to them. You'd do well to learn that now." Ildri spat angrily. She turned away from Alistair and marched down the hill towards the small bridge, where she found someone waiting for them.

"I was sure I'd seen travelers coming down the road." The man said, smiling broadly. "You're here to help, right?"

"We're here to speak to the Arl, no one else." Ildri informed him, and his face fell.

"You don't know? Has no one out there heard?" He asked, crestfallen.

"There's a Blight in the south, and a civil war in the north. Or, at least, there probably _will_ be, soon enough. I don't think anyone cares about much beyond those things. Now, where is the Arl?" she demanded.

"He's up in the castle, but you can't get in. No one can."

"Why not?" Ildri said.

"He's ill, and there are attacks at night."

"What do you mean, attacks? Is it darkspawn?" Alistair demanded, stepping forward. Ildri was about to reprimand him, but she cut herself short. _This was his home. He's worried._ She held her tongue, but glared daggers at him. He flinched when he saw, but he refocused his attention on the villager.

"No, not darkspawn. It's some other kind of monster. I'll let Bann Teagan explain."

"Bann Teagan of Rainesfere? He's here?" Alistair asked, sounding shocked.

"Yes, he arrived shortly after the Arl fell ill. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to him." The young man led the group down the hill to the village square. There was a small Chantry, and quite a few houses surrounding the square. He continued into the Chantry, and Ildri followed with a small scowl crossing her features. The man led them to the back of the Chantry, passing old folk and children. Ildri scanned the group quickly, but she didn't see any elves. The man was talking to someone at the back of the room.

"I saw these travelers on the road, and I thought that you might like to see them." He gestured towards them.

"Good work, Tomas." The other man smiled at them. "I am Bann Teagan, brother to the Arl."

"What's going on here?" Ildri asked. He quickly explained the events over the past while. Undead monsters were pouring out of the castle each night, killing the villagers. The dead villagers rose the next night, bolstering their own ranks.

"Please, we need your help." Teagan asked.

"How badly do we need Eamon?" Ildri asked Alistair.

"Quite badly. No offense to Bann Teagan, but he doesn't have enough standing in the Landsmeet to be able to help us."

"Well, having a noble indebted to us can't hurt." Ildri shrugged. "We'll help you."

* * *

><p>It was only a few hours until sundown. Morale was high in Redcliffe, and the village was as prepared as possible for the coming battle. Ildri and her group waited atop the hill leading to the castle for dark to fall. Ildri was sharpening her blades when a long shadow fell over her. She looked up to see Sten looking down at her.<p>

"I do not see why we are here." He said gruffly.

"We are here because we need Eamon. If we make him grateful before we ask him for anything, he'll feel like he owes us." Ildri replied.

"If we need him, why do we not storm the castle? Why stay down here?"

"Because the gates are closed. We don't have anything powerful enough to take those down." Sten looked pointedly at Morrigan before looking back at the elf. "She might be strong enough, yes. But then she would be useless for the rest of the battle."

"But we would be in the castle."

"We have no idea what's waiting in the castle. I'd rather not burn out our only mage if we don't have to." Ildri stood and stretched, rubbing her neck. "Any other questions?"

"Why do we need this man Eamon in the first place?" He asked, and Ildri laughed.

"Because humans are stupid."

"I heard that!" Alistair shouted, but the giant and the elf ignored him.

"That is generally true." Sten allowed.

"They put more stock in past deeds and blood than the proof sitting right before their eyes." Ildri growled. "And the shape of one's ears, of course. Mustn't forget that."

"I have noticed that elves are not treated as well as humans are." Sten commented. "But I do not understand why this is allowed to continue."

"Because we have no weapons training, and no weapons. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm not the best fighter we have. I mostly just swing my swords and hope I hit bad guys."

"I had, actually. I wondered if it was an oversight of the Grey Wardens, or simply a lack of skill on your part." Sten said. Ildri glowered up at him for a moment. _He's not being rude, just saying what he thinks. That's refreshing._

"I was a Grey Warden for about a day when Loghain turned on us at Ostagar. There was no time to train me any better."

"I see." Sten murmured. He looked over his shoulder for a moment, and Ildri followed his gaze. The sun was nearly set.

"It's almost show time." Ildri commented. She put her whetstone in her pack and sheathed her sword, rising to her feet. She looked up at Sten, studying him. "You spent a while in that cage. How are you holding up?"

"You are concerned."

"A little bit, yeah. I guess I should have asked this before we were about to get attacked." Ildri shrugged.

"There is no need. I am fit to fight."

"That's good to hear." Ildri replied, nodding. "I must admit, I've never heard much about the Qunari."

"What you have heard is likely false." Sten informed her. "Most do not go out of their way to learn about us, content to listen to rumors and form their opinions based on those of others."

"Very true." Ildri murmured. "What can you tell me about your people?"

"People are not simple. They cannot be summarized for easy reference in the manner of: 'the elves are a lithe, pointy-eared people who excel at poverty.'" He replied, and Ildri glowered up at him.

"That's a very narrow minded view to have."

"I did not say that I shared it, I merely pointed out what most see when they look at your kind." They fell into silence, watching the sun pass beyond the horizon. Once it was gone, Ildri walked over to where the knights were, with Sten following close behind her.

"How long after sunset do the monsters usually attack?" Ildri directed her question towards Ser Perth, one of the knights.

"Not too long, Warden." The man replied.

"I was looking for a time frame, not a generalization." Ildri said, crossing her arms. "Do you have a definite answer for me, or not?"

"I don't, I apologize." Perth seemed to be chagrined by his lack of information, so Ildri decided to let it lie at that. She turned from the knight and walked over to Nadia.

"You're in quite the mood today." The dwarf murmured.

"I don't much like humans." Ildri replied, shrugging. "Have you noticed that there aren't any elves here?"

"There was that guy Berwick, up at the tavern…" Nadia pointed out, and Ildri shook her head.

"He doesn't count. He's not from here. I'm talking about elves that actually live in Redcliffe."

"What of it?" Nadia asked.

"It's very likely, since no one cares one way or another about the elves, that they were the first killed by these undead. Or, even worse, the elves weren't let into the Chantry and died anyway."

"I never thought of that." Nadia frowned. "We'll ask someone about it tomorrow."

"It's too late to ask right now anyway." Ildri gestured towards the top of the hill, where a sickly looking green fog began to roll towards them.

* * *

><p>The next morning, after the battle, there was a small ceremony to honor the villagers that had died during the attacks. Teagan approached Ildri after the ceremony.<p>

"Thank you for your help. Without your help, we all would likely have perished."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it because I need help against the Blight." Ildri retorted.

"I understand. If your group would come up with me to the mill, there is something else that I need to speak with you about."

"Yes, we'll be there." Ildri replied. Teagan nodded before turning and walking towards the mill. Ildri looked over her ragtag little group. The few injuries they'd received were quickly taken care of by Morrigan, with a spell, poultice or potion. The witch was rude, no denying that, but she was extremely useful. They were all still tired, seeing as they'd not had much sleep after the battle, but they needed to get to Eamon. Ildri's pride, however, rankled at the thought of immediately following Teagan up the hill like a well-behaved dog. Instead, she walked over to Sten. She pressed her back against one of the pillars holding up the Chantry roof and looked up at him.

"I wanted to tell you that I appreciated you watching my back last night." The giant had stayed as close to her as he was able without chopping one of her limbs off throughout the entire fight.

"You are the only one here without any knowledge of weapons training. Lives are valuable, and should not be wasted." He stated.

"It must be kind of weird, fighting with such a small group." Ildri snorted. "Especially after being in the army. That's what a vanguard is, right? Part of an army?"

"Correct. They are the first part of an army that their opponent sees."

"So… why exactly would the Qunari send soldiers to Ferelden?" She queried.

"The antaam are the eyes, hands, and mouth of the Qunari. We are how my people know the world."

"What is that? Antaam?" Ildri asked.

"It is not my place to teach. I am not tamassran." Sten told her, and she frowned.

"So the only way for people to learn anything about the Qunari is to travel to… wherever your home is?"

"One could learn if they were to become Qunari." Sten said.

"How does a person 'become Qunari'?" Ildri asked. "I thought Qunari was your race."

"Qunari is what I am. I am a follower of the Qun."

"So the Qun is a religion?" She asked, and Sten shook his head.

"We follow no gods." Sten looked away from her, his gaze settling on the mill. "There is no point to this, we are keeping the darkspawn waiting."

"Let's get going, then." Ildri pitched her voice so that the others heard her as well, and the six of them followed the path that Teagan had taken to the mill. Teagan was waiting beside the mill, looking over the lake.

"The castle seems so quiet now. You'd not think there was anything wrong at all." He murmured, then turned to face them. "I'll not waste time. There is a secret passage here, in the mill. It is only accessible to those with a Guerrin signet ring, and it leads into the castle dungeons."

"You're only telling me this _now_?" Ildri asked.

"I needed your help defending the village." He replied, shrugging.

"And of course, you doubted that a knife-ear, of all people, would want to help a village full of humans." Ildri said scathingly.

"That was not what I doubted." He said quickly. "I knew that you wanted to see my brother, and I feared that if you knew of the passage, that you would not help me."

"If people would just _ask,_ instead of _assuming_ things, the world would be a much better place." Ildri paused. "Also, I'd be a lot less pissed off most of the time."

"There isn't anything I can do to change the past. I apologize for-"

"Save your apologies for someone who gives a shit." Ildri cut him off. "Are we going into the castle or not?"

"Yes, we are. I just need to – Maker's breath!" Teagan gawked at something behind Ildri, and she spun around, expecting an enemy. Instead, there was a woman running towards them from the direction of the castle. Ildri frowned as the woman brushed past her group, ignoring the lot of them in favor of Teagan.

"Teagan! Thank the Maker you yet live." The woman nearly sobbed, stopping just short of plowing the man over.

"Isolde! You're alive!" Teagan exclaimed. He seemed to be more surprised than happy with this development, Ildri noticed. "What has happened?"

"I do not have much time to explain. I slipped away from the castle as soon as I saw that the battle was over, and I must return quickly. And I need you to return with me, Teagan… alone."

"And just who in the Void are you?" Ildri demanded. The woman turned around, and her lips curled into a sneer when her eyes fell on Ildri.

"Mind your tongue, girl. Your betters are speaking."

"You might want to take your own advice," Ildri snapped, "considering that my companions and I are the only reason there's even a village standing here."

"Lady Isolde, this is Ildri, a Grey Warden. Ildri, this is my sister in law, Arlessa Isolde." Teagan stepped in before the argument could escalate. "And of course, you remember Alistair."

"Of course." Isolde turned back to Teagan. "Considering the circumstances, however, this is not the time for exchanging pleasantries."

"There's something we can agree on. What's going on in the castle?" Ildri demanded.

"I know that you need more information, but I don't know what is safe to tell." Isolde directed her answer to Teagan. "There is a terrible evil within the castle. The dead wake and hunt the living. The mage responsible was caught, but still it continues. And I think Connor is going mad. We have survived but he won't flee the castle. He has seen so much death! You must stop him, Teagan! You are his uncle, you could reason with him. I do not know what else to do!"

"Connor is Eamon and Isolde's son." Alistair whispered to Ildri. She nodded slightly, letting him know she'd heard him.

"What do you mean by this evil? What is it?" Teagan demanded.

"Something that the mage unleashed. So far it allows Connor, Eamon, and myself to live, but the others were not so fortunate. It's killed so many, and you've seen what it did to them! Once it was done in the castle, it struck the village. It wants us to live, but I do not know why." Isolde replied. _I find myself wondering the same thing._ "It allowed me to come for you, Teagan, because I begged, because I said Connor needed help."

"If you need our help so much, or even his, why can't you at least be honest with us?" Ildri cut in.

"I beg your pardon?" Isolde seethed. "That's a rather impertinent accusation."

"A mother should be able to reason with her own son well enough. Better than the child's uncle, anyway." Ildri paused a moment before continuing. "Your story has a few holes in it, too. For starters, you claim to have 'slipped away' from the castle once the battle was over. The battle has been over for _hours._ Shit, we even had a chance to get some sleep. But you're just getting here now? I don't buy that. No castle is that damn big. Secondly, 'slipping away' implies sneaking. It implies that no one knew you left. But just now, you said that it allowed you to leave the castle. Now, about this mage – I don't know a whole lot about them, but my friend here," Ildri gestured to Morrigan, "happens to be an expert on mages and all things magical." Isolde's eyes flicked to Morrigan, fear glinting in her eyes. "Morrigan, what do you think about this mage?"

"If he is indeed the one responsible for this, there are ways to… convince him to belay the spell. Is the mage in question still alive?" Morrigan asked.

"Yes. He is in the dungeon." Isolde replied, a tremor in her voice.

"Would I be wrong to assume that you did everything in your power to convince him to end the spell?" The witch queried, and Isolde nodded. "Then there is either another mage at work here, or a demon. Or, perhaps, both." Morrigan said, nodding.

"Let's assume both. I'd rather expect the worst." Ildri said. "Now, all this begs another question. What was a mage doing here in the first place?"

"He… he posed as a servant. One of the castle staff. We discovered he was poisoning my husband, which is why Eamon is ill. He claims he was hired by Teyrn Loghain. I cannot say whether this is the truth or not." Isolde informed them.

"But why a mage? Anyone can pour poison in a glass, or a bowl. Why did it have to be a mage?" Ildri murmured. She tapped her chin, thinking, but could not come up with an answer. She shook her head and looked up at Teagan. "There's still something off about all of this. If I were you, I wouldn't go with her. I won't stop you, however. You want to be a fool, that's your own choice."

"It seems that I have no choice but to be a fool, then." Teagan said, smiling grimly.

"Thank the Maker! Bless you, Teagan, bless you." Isolde cried.

"I will be along in a moment. I need to speak with the Wardens privately." Teagan told her. Isolde nodded.

"Please, do not take long." She turned and headed back towards the castle. Once she was out of earshot, Ildri spoke up.

"You go with Isolde, then. Give me the ring, and we'll go through the passage." Ildri held out her hand, and Teagan dropped the ring into it.

"Remember, Eamon is the important one here. Isolde, myself, the rest of us are expendable." Teagan reminded her.

"Don't worry. I'm not likely to forget that." Ildri shook her head in Isolde's direction. "Get moving." Ildri waited until both Teagan and Isolde were out of sight before entering the mill.

"You know, there are two little things called _tact_ and _diplomacy_ that you might want to use from time to time. Might be useful." Nadia spoke up.

"What for? I might offend people, but I get results faster my way." Ildri chuckled. "Besides, did you see the look on her face? Absolutely priceless."

"I have to admit, it was nice seeing Isolde get reprimanded like that." Alistair said from behind them.

"I take it the two of you didn't get along?" Ildri asked over her shoulder. She and Nadia were trying to find the entrance to the secret passage.

"Not really. It was her idea to send me off to the Chantry. There were rumors going around that I was Eamon's bastard, and she didn't like that one bit."

"Do you even look like him?" Nadia asked.

"Not really. But resemblance or no, the rumors persisted. I still don't really see why, though. It's not like I was given special treatment or anything."

"I found the passage." Ildri said. The entrance was on the floor, hidden beneath a pile of straw.

"What does that mean, Alistair?" Nadia asked.

"I slept in the stable." He said bluntly. "No silk sheets for me."

"Even in the Alienage we have better than that." Ildri said quietly.

"Well, it's in the past now, right?" Alistair said lightly. Ildri shook her head and opened the passage.

"Morrigan, I want you up front with me. We're going to need a light source." Ildri informed the witch, who only nodded and summoned a pair of wisps. Ildri entered the tunnel with Morrigan on one side and the mabari on the other, followed by Sten and Nadia, and Alistair entered the tunnel last. Sten had to duck his head in a few places to avoid bashing his head, but the floor of the tunnel was clear and smooth. It wasn't long until they reached the end of the tunnel. The door was locked, but Ildri picked the lock while one of Morrigan's wisps hovered over her shoulder. "We have no idea what's in here, but we are assuming that until we find Teagan, things are bad. That means weapons out and at the ready at all times." Ildri said quietly. The only response was the sound of blades sliding out of sheaths. Ildri nodded and threw the door open. She stepped to the side so that her companions could enter and drew her own weapons. Sten took point, and opened a door on the far side of the room they'd entered.

"Katara, bas!" He shouted, and charged through the doorway. Ildri darted after him, the others close behind. The few creatures that were in the room were quickly taken care of.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" a wavering voice called out from one of the cells. Ildri approached warily, her blades still drawn. The owner of the voice was a young man who brightened instantly at seeing her. "Thank the Maker. I thought I was going to die down here."

"Who are you, and why are you down here?" Ildri demanded.

"My name is Jowan. I'm a mage that Lady Isolde hired to tutor her son." He replied.

"So you're the mage that's responsible for all of this?" Alistair asked.

"No! I was already locked away when all of this started, I swear." Jowan protested.

"Isolde wasn't very eager to offer up any information. All we know is that a mage showed up in her house, poisoned her husband, and then undead started cropping up. Do you have anything to add?" Ildri asked.

"I'm the mage that poisoned the Arl, yes. Teyrn Loghain told me that I'd be doing a service to the country, that Eamon posed a threat. He promised that he would clear up matters with the Circle." Jowan explained.

"The Circle of Magi? What kind of problem do you have with them?" Ildri pressed. "And why, exactly, were you hired?"

"The problem is me. I'm a maleficar. A blood mage." Jowan admitted.

"Truly? I would not have thought as much." Morrigan commented.

"I was part of the Circle for nearly two decades, and they still hadn't put me through my Harrowing. I turned to blood magic in the hopes that it might make me a better, stronger mage. But someone found out, and… I had to leave." Jowan looked down at the floor of his cell.

"Alistair, what's a Harrowing?" Ildri asked the almost-Templar.

"The Harrowing is a test that mages go through to ensure that they are strong enough to withstand and avoid demonic possession." Alistair said, sounding as though he were reciting from a book. "Those that pass become full mages. Those that don't… well, it's not pretty, I'll tell you that much." Ildri turned back to the mage.

"You still haven't told me why you were hired."

"Connor had started showing signs of magical ability. She didn't want him sent away, so she hired me to teach him to control his magic." Jowan informed them.

"Connor, a mage? I can't believe that." Alistair murmured.

"Did you teach the boy blood magic?" Ildri snapped.

"Of course not! I realized too late what a mistake turning to blood magic was. I wasn't about to lead someone else down that path." Jowan said, shaking his head. "Connor may have torn the Veil on his own, accidentally. Or he might have made a deal with a demon without realizing exactly what it would do to him. All of this is my fault. I just want to try and make it right."

"Actually, if you think about it, it's Isolde's fault." Ildri told him. "She's the one who brought you here."

"That doesn't make me feel any better about it." Jowan said, frowning at her.

"Are you any good at fighting? Without blood magic?" She asked.

"Not really, no." He admitted.

"Then for now, you'll stay here. I don't know how many monsters are running around, and you and Morrigan are the only mages I have on hand. I can't have you dying on me." Ildri informed him.

"I will wait here, then." Jowan replied, moving back from the bars.

"Of course you will." Ildri scoffed. "Let's go, people."

* * *

><p>They entered the main hall via the courtyard and saw Teagan dancing before Isolde and a child who Ildri assumed was Connor. The boy waved a hand, and Teagan sat down on the ground on his other side.<p>

"So these are the ones you told me about mother? The ones who 'saved' the village?" the child's voice echoed ominously throughout the room.

"Yes, Connor." Isolde replied quietly.

"And now it's staring at me, mother. What is it? I can't see it well enough." He glared at Ildri and her party.

"I don't doubt that this is demonic possession." Alistair whispered in Ildri's ear. "But, if the demon can't see properly through the boy's eyes, then it isn't a complete possession. We might not have to kill him." Ildri nodded slowly.

"This… this is an elf, Connor. You've seen them before. We had them, here in the castle." Isolde said, and the boy laughed.

"Ah, I remember. I had their ears cut off and fed to the dogs. They chewed for hours. Should I send it to the kennels, mother?" Ildri took a deep breath, tamping down her anger.

"That answers one question." She murmured to Nadia. "They're all dead."

"That's not necessarily true." The dwarf replied.

"Who do you think would spend time to heal an elf?" Ildri scoffed. "With or without the presence of a demon, it's not going to happen."

"Oh, look, it cares." Connor laughed again. "Would you like to see what's left of them? I had that sent to the kennels, too."

"We're not here about me." Ildri snapped.

"Then why are you here?" the boy asked, raising a brow.

"I need an army. Preferably not the undead kind, however. They might be difficult to direct in a battle."

"I need my army, so I can send them out to conquer the world!" The boy argued.

"That might be slightly difficult, seeing as there's a Blight going on. You're a demon, surely you know what that means." Ildri replied, crossing her arms. Connor's eyes narrowed, and he stepped towards her.

"Connor, please don't hurt anyone!" Isolde cried, reaching for her son. He stumbled, then raised his hands to rub his eyes.

"Mother? Where am I?" He turned back to look at his mother. Isolde let out a sob and threw her arms around him.

"Connor, are you all right?" She asked, running her hand through his hair.

"Get _away_ from me, fool woman!" The boy pushed Isolde away from him, and she fell back.

"If Connor can come out from time to time, that's even better." Alistair whispered. "There may be a chance yet." Ildri waved him back before Connor turned back to face them, but the boy continued to rave at Isolde.

"All you have done is deprive me of my fun! I crave excitement!" He quickly spun around to face Ildri, raising his arm to point at her. "And this woman will provide it for me!"

"You're a little young for that, aren't you?" Ildri asked, smirking. Connor didn't reply, but fled the room as Teagan and a group of undead began to attack. "Damn it all. Don't kill Teagan!" Alistair ran over to the man and hit him over the head with the pommel of his sword, and Teagan dropped like a stone. Ildri then turned her attention to the undead that were rushing towards her. Once they were taken care of, Isolde hurried over to Teagan, shaking him awake.

"Teagan, are you all right?" She asked.

"I am better than I was, at least. My mind is my own again." Teagan rubbed his head and got to his feet.

"Andraste's mercy, I never would have forgiven myself if you had died, not after I brought you here. What a fool I am." Isolde shook her head.

"That's the first smart thing I've heard come out of your mouth." Ildri told her.

"Please, don't hurt my son." Isolde begged. "He's not responsible for this. It was that mage, the one who poisoned Eamon. He started all this, he summoned the demon."

"And how was he supposed to do that from within his cell?" Ildri snarled. "You are half right, though. It's not Connor's fault. It's yours."

"How dare you! I was protecting my son!" Isolde shouted.

"And look what your 'protection' has done, you stupid bitch!" Ildri yelled, gesturing around them. "Your husband might never recover, your son is an abomination, and more than half of the villagers you rule over are dead!"

"You have no idea what it is like, being a mother!" Isolde raged. "They would have taken him away from me!"

"And why is his life more valuable than the lives of everyone else? Just because of his so-called 'blue blood'?" Ildri jeered. "I've seen the inside of more than one noble, and believe me, their blood was the same color as my own." Isolde flinched away from Ildri's gaze.

"So that's it, then?" Isolde asked, staring at the floor. "You are going to go up there and kill my son?"

"I have no intention of killing a child whose only mistake is having an idiot for a mother." Ildri looked over at Morrigan. "If people can make deals with demons, does that mean they can be reasoned with?" Morrigan pursed her lips, apparently thinking.

"Demons are intelligent entities. That is a reasonable assumption." The witch conceded.

"What are you thinking?" Alistair frowned.

"I don't want to kill the boy. I might be able to talk the demon into leaving." Ildri surmised.

"And how do you think you're going to do that? It's a demon, it'll attack you on sight." Alistair argued.

"I'll figure it out." Ildri shrugged and took off her sword and dagger, handing them to Sten.

"You sure about this?" Nadia asked.

"Not at all, really." Ildri confessed.

"What about the mage Isolde mentioned?" Teagan interjected. "He might have an idea."

"He's still alive, down in his cell. If you want to listen to anything he has to say, be my guest. I'm going to go talk to Connor." Ildri turned towards Isolde. "Where did he go?"

"He is probably in his chambers upstairs." Isolde pointed to a door. "Through that hall, the first door on the right." Ildri turned to walk towards the door, but Isolde caught her arm. "Thank you." Ildri shook the woman off.

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for a boy who felt he had no other options." Ildri nodded at Morrigan. "You're with me. Leave your staff here, if you don't mind."

"Why her?" Alistair demanded.

"Because she's a mage, that's why. She knows more about demons than you or I put together." Ildri pointed out, and Morrigan smirked at Alistair.

"This is foolishness." Sten admonished.

"Nobody ever accused me of being smart." Ildri quipped, and the giant merely shook his head. "Any other objections?" Ildri asked, looking around the room. When no one spoke, she gestured for Morrigan to follow, and the two women left.

* * *

><p>"I assume that you have a better plan than you told the others." Morrigan intimated.<p>

"Of course I do." Ildri scoffed. "And before you ask, no, I don't intend on offering you to the demon in exchange for the boy."

"I am relieved to hear that." Morrigan said wryly. "What, then, is your plan? And for what purpose am I here, then?"

"A few reasons. The first is exactly what I said downstairs. The second is that you'll probably object the least to what I'm going to do, and thirdly, if all goes well, you can make sure that the demon is, in fact, gone." Ildri informed her.

"So it is something you believe the others might find morally repugnant?" The witch inquired.

"Probably, yes. I consider it more of a grey area." Ildri pushed open the door at the top of the stairs and looked over at Morrigan. "Can you feel the demon's presence, or something like that?"

"Yes, I will be able to lead us directly to the boy." Morrigan nodded.

"All right, then. The plan is to talk the demon into temporarily leaving." Ildri said, and the witch raised a brow.

"How do you intend to do that?" the witch asked.

"A pinch of bluffing, a dash of outright lying, and perhaps a hint of intimidation." Ildri replied. "I don't want to kill him. We need Eamon, and not as a grieving father. If this is what it takes, then so be it."

"Very well, then. I shall take us to the boy." Morrigan stepped in front of Ildri, leading her down the hall. Connor was at the far end, sitting on the floor beside an open door. Peering into it, Ildri saw a man lying on the bed. _That must be Eamon._

"How very arrogant you are, if you think you can best me with just the two of you." Connor sneered.

"I just want to talk. I left my weaponry downstairs." Ildri raised her hands, palms facing outwards.

"Yet you bring a mage with you. Do you take me for a fool?" He demanded.

"I brought someone who could perhaps help me negotiate with you." Ildri slowly walked towards the boy and sat down on the ground a few feet away.

"Negotiate? You wish to make a deal with me?" The boy perked up at hearing that. "I already have a soul, and do not need another."

"I thought as much." Ildri nodded. "I'll be honest with you. I don't care about the boy. But I need his father, and for that, I need Connor."

"You want me to leave." The demon accused.

"For now, yes." Ildri said. "But, after twenty years or so, the boy will be an adult. A powerful mage, and his father will no longer be of use to me."

"I see." Connor leaned back against the wall. "So I am to leave, and renew my contract with the boy at a later date."

"If that's what you want to do." Ildri replied. "Besides, as I mentioned earlier, there is a Blight happening. If you stayed in the boy, he wouldn't live for very long. Either the Templars or the darkspawn would get him."

"Very well. I shall leave." The boy said, nodding his head.

"I assume that there are tests to determine whether or not someone is possessed?" Ildri asked Morrigan.

"You are correct." Morrigan agreed.

"If you leave, will the boy be able to pass these tests?" Ildri asked, returning her attention to Connor.

"He will show no signs of me ever being here." He confirmed.

"Good." Ildri nodded towards the door behind him. "Can you do anything for him?"

"Nothing more than I already have. The poison that the mage used was extremely malignant, and I was only able to place the man in a comatose state. I cannot wake him." He replied.

"Ah, well. At least you did that." Ildri allowed.

"Those were the terms of the contract with the boy. I kept his father alive, and in exchange, I was allowed in." The demon revealed. "I will leave now. The boy will sleep for a time, and will wake with no knowledge of me being here. For him, it will be as though I was never here."

"Very good. Let's get him into a bed, at least." Ildri rose and walked over to the child, extending her hand. He took it, and she helped him to his feet. The boy went to his room, and Ildri followed him, stopping in the doorway. He climbed into the bed and looked over at her.

"Not many people would agree to this." He said.

"Grey Wardens do what we must to end the Blight." Ildri recited the words Duncan had once told her. The demon said nothing, just closed his eyes. He began to shake, as though having a seizure, then collapsed into the bed. Ildri walked into the room and placed two fingers at his throat, sighing in relief when she found a pulse.

"'Twould seem that my presence was unnecessary." Morrigan spoke up from behind her.

"Not entirely." Ildri stepped away from Connor's bed. "I need you to perform one of those tests now." Morrigan nodded and strode into the room. She held her hands over Connor, and they began to glow with a blue light.

"This is a mana clash spell. 'Tis nearly the equivalent of the smite ability performed by Templars." Morrigan explained. "If the demon still resides within the boy, its very nature will require that it defend itself." Ildri looked down at Connor, but he remained asleep. "If he is no longer possessed, the worst that will happen is that he will sleep longer than the demon thought he would."

"Sounds good to me." Ildri replied, nodding.

"The boy is no longer possessed." Morrigan announced, ending the spell. Morrigan threw herself down in a chair nearby and rubbed her temple.

"Are you all right?" Ildri asked. She took a step forward, but the witch waved her off.

"'Tis nothing to concern yourself with. Performing spells by hand is simply more straining than with a staff." Morrigan sighed.

"Do you think any of them will ask too many questions?" Ildri asked.

"Perhaps Alistair, but if you told him he need only smite the boy to determine the end result, t'would likely satisfy him. I do not think that Nadia or Sten would press for more details." Morrigan replied.

"And of course, we both understand that the full story will never be heard." Ildri asserted.

"Yes, I do. You need not remind me of that." Morrigan said. "You were correct in thinking I would not be averse to this arrangement."

"Good. We should probably tell the others that Connor is safe." Ildri mused. Morrigan rose from the chair, a small smirk on her lips.

"For now."

* * *

><p>When they returned to the main hall, Isolde ran over.<p>

"Where is Connor?" She demanded.

"Your son is sleeping. The demon is gone." Ildri announced loudly. "Morrigan tested him. He's just resting."

"Thank you, thank you!" Isolde sobbed, then hurried up the stairs.

"And how, exactly, did you manage to do that?" Alistair asked, doubt coloring his voice. "Is Morrigan possessed now, instead?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Ildri asked disparagingly. "I promised Flemeth no harm would come to Morrigan, and in my books, demonic possession falls under the 'harm' category."

"If it's all the same to you, though, I'd like to hear what happened." Alistair insisted.

"A pinch of bluffing, a dash of outright lying, and perhaps a hint of intimidation." Ildri smirked, repeating her words from earlier.

"Do you honestly think I'll leave it at that?" Alistair snapped.

"Yes, I do." Ildri retorted. "_You_ put me in charge, Alistair. That means any and all decisions that I make are final, and are not to be questioned. _I_ am the Warden-Commander. Am I understood?"

"No. You are going to tell me what happened. One of you will, anyway." Alistair fumed.

"What makes you think that Morrigan will tell you anything?" Ildri laughed. "The boy is fine, and the demon is gone. Drop it."

"Alistair, she's right. If you wanted to be the one calling the shots, then you should have done that right from the beginning." Nadia interjected.

"I was mourning!" Alistair shouted.

"And so was I." Nadia replied. "As was Ildri. Maybe we weren't all mourning the same things, but someone needed to take command, and she stepped up to the plate. Just be grateful that Connor is alive. To be honest, I wouldn't have let him live."

"What?" Alistair spluttered. "He's just a child!"

"An extremely dangerous child." Nadia pointed out. "I wouldn't have liked doing it, but if Ildri had asked for opinions, that's what I would have suggested."

"Are the lot of you _insane_?" Alistair demanded.

"The Grey Wardens do what must be done to end the Blights. You know that." Nadia said. "We make the hard decisions that no one else can. We sacrifice the few, so that the many can survive."

"Women!" Alistair threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

"I don't know about anyone else, but I'm hungry." Ildri said, changing the subject. "There's got to be food around here somewhere."

"Starving." Nadia confirmed, walking over to Ildri. Sten joined them, while Morrigan went off in search of a bed, and Alistair remained in the main hall, pouting.

"That was nice of you." Ildri told Nadia.

"Not a problem, salroka." Nadia smiled up at her. "But seriously, let's go find the kitchen. I was not kidding when I said I was starving."

* * *

><p><strong>For those who don't remember Sten's war cries, "Katara, bas!" means "Die, thingtrash!"**

**With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to dominicgrim and andRoseRed for the fave/follow/review! As a side note: if you started reading this story before May 9, 2014, please go back and re-read. I did some updating.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Isolde offered them rooms for the night, claiming that it was the least she could do after all that they had done. They accepted the offer, happy to be under a roof in real beds. After tossing and turning in bed for a while, Ildri gave up on sleep. She pulled on a pair or loose-fitting trousers and a long-sleeved shirt, then headed out to the courtyard, hoping to find a practice dummy and work herself to exhaustion. When she got there, she saw that another one of her companions had already beaten her to the practice yard. Sten was going through some exercises, bare to the waist. He didn't seem to have noticed her yet, so Ildri sat down on the steps to watch. The last thing she wanted to do was startle him and end up missing a limb. Ildri hadn't realized before how incredibly muscled Sten was. She'd noticed how his clothes had strained against his body when he'd been in the cage, but this was the first time she'd seen him even partly undressed. She unconsciously wet her lips. Ildri found herself wondering what his skin would feel like if she slid her hands across his chest, and instantly pushed that thought away. He probably wouldn't appreciate her thinking like that.<p>

Sten turned around, apparently finished and Ildri quickly stood to make sure her presence was known.

"I couldn't sleep." Ildri said lightly. "I thought I might come outside, maybe get some practice in."

"I don't understand." Sten murmured, shaking his head.

"What's not to understand? I want to get better at fighting." Ildri frowned, confused.

"You look like a woman, but you are a Grey Warden. So it follows that you can't be a woman." Sten replied, and he seemed to be just as confused as Ildri was.

"Why can't I be a woman?" She asked, walking towards him.

"Women are priests, artisans, shopkeepers, or farmers. They don't fight." Sten informed her.

"That's not a very big list, Sten." Ildri raised a brow. "There's more than just those roles in the world."

"The laborers, Ashkaari, and soldiers are men. There is nothing else left." He said firmly.

"That's not true, and you know it. Some women fight." Ildri argued, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Why would women ever wish to be men? It makes no sense." He demanded.

"They don't wish to be men. They wish to be women who fight."

"Do they also wish to live on the moon? That's as attainable." Sten growled.

"We're going around in circles here." Ildri sighed.

"I do not know what to make of you. Perhaps this is a quality of the Grey Wardens I have not heard about." Sten shook his head. "A person is born, Qunari or human or elven or dwarf, he doesn't choose that. The size of his hands, whether he is clever or foolish, the land he comes from, the color of his hair. These are beyond his control. We do not choose, we simply are."

"I'm a woman, and I'm fighting." Ildri said, standing up straighter.

"One of those things can't be true." Sten replied. He turned to leave.

"I do understand part of what you mean." Ildri informed him, and he turned back around. "About how we do not choose and how we simply are. I did not choose to be a Grey Warden, yet here I am. This isn't what I thought my life would ever be."

"You were not raised for this role?" Sten asked, frowning.

"No. I knew next to nothing about the Grey Wardens before I joined, and I know little more now."

"What changed?"

"I killed a monster that was preying on my people." Ildri replied, smirking.

"Is this one of those things when what you say is true and not true at the same time?"

"I believe it's called a metaphor. And yes, it is."

"It is useless. One should speak the whole truth, or not speak at all."

"Fine. Do you know what a wedding is?" She asked, and Sten shook his head. "A wedding, or a marriage, is when two people are joined to live together for the rest of their lives. In human society, weddings are arranged between the nobility, usually, to form alliances between families and countries."

"What is the purpose of this marriage? Would these people not live together anyway?"

"The point of marriage is to have children, mostly. That's the simple explanation. If you really want, we can go more in-depth at another time."

"There is a purpose to this question, I assume?" The giant queried.

"Yes, I'm getting there. I grew up in Denerim, in the Alienage there. It's a separate neighborhood from the rest of the city where the elves live. In our society, marriages are arranged by our parents, and being married means that you're considered an adult. On my wedding day, one of the nobles came through the Alienage and kidnapped me and my bridesmaids."

"What is a… bridesmaid?" Sten asked, rolling the new word over his tongue.

"It's a woman in a bridal party. A woman getting married is the bride, and a man is the groom." Ildri answered.

"This man took you and other women against your will? For what purpose? And why did you not defend yourself?"

"I didn't fight back because I was unconscious. Vaughan – the so-called nobleman – or one of his lackies hit me when I wasn't looking. And their intent was to rape us, then probably kill us."

"I do not know that word." Sten said. "This rape. What is it?"

"Rape is to force someone to have sex against their will, usually by force." She explained. Images of Shianni lying on the floor of some back room in the Arl's estate flooded through her mind, and her hands clenched into fists. "Shianni, my cousin, was one of the bridesmaids. She woke me before the guards came to collect us. They killed Nola, then they led the others away. My other cousin, Soris, and my fiancé Nelaros, had snuck into the estate to rescue us. Soris and I killed all the guards in our way to get to Nelaros, but he was killed." Ildri blinked rapidly to stop the tears that threatened to pour even now.

"What is this new word?" Sten asked.

"Fiancé? The man a person is to marry. It's Orlesian."

"Why do you continue to use words that a people who conquered you use? It makes no sense." Sten demanded.

"I don't know, I'm not even the person to ask." Ildri replied, shaking her head. "Anyway, we found Shianni, Salli, and Valora. They were still alive, but Shianni… she'd been hurt, and the Arl had already…"

"He did this rape, then?" Sten asked when Ildri's voice faltered, and she nodded.

"Yes. He did. And I killed him for it. All of us that were still alive went back to the Alienage. The city guards came, and I took the responsibility for what happened, so no one else would get into trouble. Duncan used the Right of Conscription on me, so that the guards couldn't take me."

"Who is Duncan? And what is the Right of Conscription?"

"Duncan was the Warden-Commander of Ferelden. He led the Wardens in Ferelden. Grey Wardens can recruit anyone they want, king, peasant, servant or slave, even against their will. No one can interfere once the Right has been invoked. I'm not the only Warden that was ever saved from the executioner's block. I knew of at least one other, and there have almost definitely been more."

"You did a service to your people, by killing this man." He said, and Ildri chuckled.

"I don't know if they'd see it like that. They probably think I should've just rolled over and let them do whatever they wanted."

"That is foolish. Why would they think that?" Sten growled.

"Elves are considered vermin. We're not people, we are a second-class subspecies, and we always will be. We are looked down upon. No one cares about what we want, or how we feel. No one gives a shit about elves." Ildri said bitterly. "Or none of this would have happened in the first place. If we'd been human, Vaughan wouldn't have dared to do what he did."

"I do not understand your society." The giant murmured, shaking his head.

"Neither do I." Ildri replied. "But there's nothing that I can do, really. Even being a Grey Warden, it only helps me, not the other elves. With the bounty Loghain's put on our heads and the lies he spread about Ostagar, however, I'm almost in a worse position then I was before. But hey, I'm used to people thinking poorly of me." Ildri shrugged and unsheathed her weapons, walking towards a training dummy.

"The dummy will teach you nothing." Sten called out. "I will spar with you, if you like."

"I'd like that." Ildri said with a grin. "But you have to promise to hold back some. I don't want to lose any limbs." Sten nodded and drew his sword, giving it a dirty look as he did so.

"Vashedan." He growled at it.

"I don't know what your sword did, but I'm sure it's sorry for it." Ildri teased him.

"This is not my sword." He swung the blade around towards Ildri, who quickly danced off to one side.

"It's the sword you're using, it was given to you. It's yours to use." She swiped her dagger towards his back, but he parried the blow and brought his blade up again.

"That does not make it mine. Mine was… lost." Sten replied. The giant and the elf circled each other, both looking for an opening. Sten had the advantage of reach and strength, but Ildri could move faster than he could.

"That does explain one thing." Ildri feinted to the right, and Sten fell for it. She darted to the left and tapped his exposed ribs with her dagger. "I wondered, when we collected your belongings, why there wasn't a sword. What happened to it?"

"It is a long explanation." He warned. He pivoted to face her, clipping her with the flat of his blade.

"That just makes me want to hear it more." Ildri laughed.

"I did not come to Ferelden alone." Sten began. "I came here with seven of the Beresaad – my brothers – seeking answers about the Blight." Ildri rolled away when Sten took a step towards her, raising his blade.

"Why were you seeking answers? Are there no darkspawn in…" Ildri faltered, and she felt her cheeks burn. "I have no idea where Qunari come from."

"My home is on the island of Par Vollen. Seheron." Sten supplied. "We have some darkspawn, but we have never seen a Blight. The arishok sent us to answer, 'what is the Blight?'" Ildri swung her sword and dagger out, starting directly in front of her and sweeping out to her sides when Sten stepped towards her again, forcing him to step back.

"What's an arishok? Is he your king?"

"Qunari have no kings. The arishok commands the antaam – the body of the Qunari." Sten rushed towards her, and Ildri quickly rolled out of the way.

"No offense or anything, but if you don't have Blights, then why do the Qunari care about them?" Ildri asked once she'd gotten to her feet.

"Why do you?" Sten asked, whirling about to face her.

"I'm a Grey Warden. It's my job." Ildri said, shrugging. Sten swung his sword, and Ildri was just barely able to parry it with her own. His blade caught on the cross guard, and Sten pushed, causing the sword to slip from Ildri's grasp. She went to grab it, but he swatted her arm with the flat of his blade.

"Exactly. You don't ask. Nor did I. The arishok sent me, and I went." Ildri glared up at the giant, trying to figure out how she was going to get back to her sword. "We made our way across the countryside, seeing nothing of the threat we were sent to observe."

"That must have changed eventually." Ildri observed, and the giant nodded.

"The night we camped by Lake Calenhad. They came from everywhere: the earth beneath our feet, the air above us, and our own shadows harbored the darkspawn. I saw the last of the creatures cut down, too late. I fell." Sten faltered for a moment, and Ildri used his distraction to quickly dart past him and snatch her sword.

"That sounds a lot like what happened to us at Ostagar." She admitted, drawing his attention back to her.

"I heard the stories of Ostagar." Sten said, nodding. "Your kith stood their ground when others fled. No one can do more than that. I don't know how long I lay on the battlefield among the dead, nor do I know how the farmers found me. I only know that when I woke I was no longer among my brothers, and my sword was gone from my hand."

"Maybe you dropped it on the battlefield?" Ildri guessed.

"Perhaps. I searched for it. When that failed, I asked my rescuers what had become of it."

"What did they say?" Ildri asked. Sten hadn't moved towards her, their spar apparently forgotten.

"They said they found me with nothing." He said quietly.

"Did you believe them?"

"I did. I knew they didn't have the blade, they had no reason to lie to me." Sten closed his eyes and turned his head away from her. "I panicked. Unthinking, I struck them down."

"Why?" Ildri asked gently.

"I cannot justify what I have done. My honor is forfeit." Sten sighed heavily.

"I can understand being upset over a lost blade, but I think I'm missing something. What was so important about your sword?" Ildri asked.

"That sword was made for my hand alone. I have carried it from the day I was set into the Beresaad. I was to die wielding it for my people. Even if I could cross Ferelden and Tevinter alone and unarmed to bring my report to the arishok, I would be slain on sight by the antaam. They would know me as soulless, a deserter. No soldier would cast aside his blade while he drew breath."

"I'm sorry, Sten." _At least I can go and see my family, if I choose to, even though I'm a Warden. Unless he has his sword, he never can. _Ildri placed her hand on his forearm, drawing his violet eyes to her bright green ones. "I promise you, I will do my best to find it. You will see Par Vollen and Seheron again."

"Perhaps those words are empty, but… thank you all the same." Sten murmured. Ildri smiled up at him and took a step back.

"Shall we continue our sparring, or are you done for the night?" She asked, gesturing with her dagger.

"I would like to continue." Sten replied, raising his blade again. Ildri's smile widened.

"Then let's get to it." Ildri raised her blades as well, and the pair began to circle one another. Sten moved first, swinging his sword at her. She parried it easily, then darted to the left to try and get behind him. He followed her, turning on the spot. He swung his sword again, and she hopped a step back, out of his reach. Not quickly enough, however – the tip of his blade caught her shirt, cutting a small hole across her stomach. "Really, Sten? This is one of my only shirts!" Ildri groused good-naturedly.

"Perhaps you need to acquire more." His lips turned up at the outside for a moment, so quickly that she would have missed it if she'd not been watching.

"Maybe I should make you buy me a new one." She teased. Sten took a step towards her, and Ildri dropped to the ground and swept her feet past his ankles. He began to fall, but threw out an arm to keep from hitting the ground. Ildri leapt to her feet and dashed towards him. Sten rose to his feet faster than she'd anticipated and rushed towards her. They crashed into each other, and while Sten remained standing, Ildri was thrown back a few feet. As Ildri tried to rise from the ground, Sten walked towards her and laid the tip of his blade against her collar bone. "I yield." Ildri said, smirking. "You're faster than I thought."

"Never underestimate your enemy." Sten informed her, sheathing his sword. He extended a hand to her, and she took it. He pulled her to her feet, and Ildri found herself with her nose buried in his chest a moment later. "Apparently one should not overestimate, either." Sten murmured. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her. "I did not realize how light you were, and pulled too much. I am sorry."

"Not a problem." Ildri replied, smiling. _No, definitely not a problem. _"It's not your fault I'm small."

"You are not hurt?" He asked. His hands were still on her shoulders, and they were very warm.

"No, not hurt." She shook her head. "I'm fine."

"That is good, Warden." He nodded and took his hands off her shoulders.

"My name is Ildri, Sten." She chided gently.

"But you are a Grey Warden. That is who you are."

"That is part of who I am, but not all of it. Alistair and Nadia are Wardens too. Are you going to call the three of us 'Warden' all the time?" She asked him. "That might get confusing after a while. And what are you going to call Morrigan? I don't think she'll appreciate being called 'witch' all the time."

"I do not think I will have much cause to speak with her." Sten growled. "The dwarf is a dwarf."

"I don't know about Par Vollen, but around here, it's rather rude to refer to someone by their race like that." She informed him.

"I did not know this." He admitted.

"Why don't you use our names?" She asked.

"We do not have names like you do. 'Sten' is not my name, it is my rank."

"Your rank?" She repeated, confused.

"Yes." Sten replied.

"What about children? Do they have a rank, as well? Is your society militaristic?"

"Imekari, children, are assigned roles at an early age by the tamassrans." Sten explained.

"What if they don't like that role? What if they want to be something else?"

"If they were meant to be something else, then the tamassrans would have assigned them there instead."

"How do they know what child should go where?"

"I do not know. I am not a tamassran. Asit tal-eb."

"What is that?" Ildri asked, frowning. "I don't speak your tongue."

"It is to be. Everything and everyone in the world has a nature, and all these things come together to form a proper order."

"What does that mean?" Ildri asked. "A proper order of what?"

"An Ashkaari looked upon the destruction wrought by locusts, and he at last saw the order in the world. A plague must cause suffering for as long as it endures, earthquakes must shatter the land. They are bound by their being. Asit tal-eb. It is to be. For the world and the self are one. Existence is a choice. A self of suffering, brings only suffering to the world. It is a choice, and we can refuse it."

"Is that a story of your people?" Ildri asked.

"It is of the Qun." He replied simply.

"And that's what you believe in." Ildri said, remembering her and Sten's conversation the day before.

"No. The Qun is not believed in, it is understood." He frowned down at her for a moment. "What is the point of all this questioning?"

"I want to get to know you, Sten." She informed him. "Like I said, I've never met a Qunari before. You're interesting to me." Ildri sheathed her blades and shrugged. "I didn't think there would be a problem with that. Good night, Sten." With that, she turned on her heel and walked back into the castle, leaving Sten behind.

* * *

><p>Ildri woke later than she'd thought she would. She headed to the dining hall to see that all of her companions were already there. Sten looked up at her as she entered the room and nodded at her. She returned the gesture and sat across from him beside Nadia.<p>

"Good morning, sleepy head." The dwarf teased her.

"Good morning." She replied. Alistair, unsurprisingly, was ignoring her. _Mature as always, of course._ Ildri was about half finished her meal when Teagan entered the room.

"Good, I am glad that you are all here." He said, smiling.

"Where else would we be?" Ildri asked. "The Arl's still sleeping, or sick, or whatever. We need to figure out how to fix that."

"It is good to see we are of one mind, then." Teagan replied. "Isolde thinks that the Urn of Sacred Ashes is the only thing that will save him."

"As in Andraste's ashes?" Alistair asked, speaking for the first time.

"I know who Andraste is, or was, but what's this about ashes?" Nadia broke in. "I'm not completely familiar with all of this religious claptrap yet." Teagan quickly explained the story, and Ildri took that time to finish her meal in peace. Isolde came in partway through the telling, and she avoided looking at Ildri as much as possible.

"I know you have already done so much for Redcliffe, but as Alistair said, I do not have enough standing at the Landsmeet to be able to help you." Teagan said. "Isolde is an Arlessa, yes, but the Landsmeet… some of us still have issue with Orlesians." He glanced apologetically at his sister-in-law. "I hate to say it, but you know it's true."

"Teagan is correct. I will be of even less use to you than him." Isolde agreed. "Eamon funded the research of one Brother Genitivi in Denerim who was trying to find the Ashes. I sent the knights to look for him, but a scant handful have returned. Those who have returned tell me that he is no longer in the capital."

"You've tried magical healing?" Ildri asked.

"We've tried everything we can think of." Teagan replied. "Nothing works."

"This had better not be a bloody goose chase." Ildri grumbled. "But, on the other hand, we get to go to Denerim."

"I hope you're not thinking of taking Morrigan's advice and go after Loghain yourself." Alistair said, finally speaking to her.

"Not all of us are idiots, Alistair." She replied scathingly. "If you must know, I have family in Denerim, and they all probably think I'm dead. I'd like to inform them otherwise." Alistair's face flushed, but he said nothing. "Then if there's no objections, we'll be on the road soon."

* * *

><p>Isolde had given them as much food as she could before they left. It would take a few days to reach Denerim, and it was unlikely that they would find many places to purchase food on the way. Teagan had also supplied the three Wardens with new armor.<p>

"With a price on your head, you can't afford to go traipsing across Ferelden wearing that armor." Ildri and Nadia had both been provided with a set of leather armor - Nadia's had an odd-looking skirt with leggings, and Ildri's was more simple - an armored leather jacket and breeches. Alistair had been given a fine set of splintmail armor. While she couldn't read the names on the map, Ildri knew the image of Ferelden quite well. Her father had pointed out the places on the map they owned, and told her the names of them all. At camp that night, Ildri pored over the map, trying to judge how far they'd traveled. It wasn't easy. She eventually gave up on trying by herself. Ildri looked at her companions, trying to judge who would be able to help the most. Alistair, it seemed, was still mad at her. He had, however, begrudgingly thanked her for saving the Arl's family, even though she wouldn't tell him how. But other than that, he'd barely spoken to her at all. _Like that bothers me. Not._ Nadia was already sleeping – she'd drawn the short straw, and was on watch in the middle of the night. Ildri thought about asking Sten, but she didn't want to bother him. She couldn't tell if he was upset with her for being so curious. That left her with Morrigan. Ildri sighed and picked up the map before heading over to the reclusive woman's campfire.

"Morrigan, are you busy?" She asked. The woman was working on ready-made poultices with the ingredients they'd gathered recently.

"Not overly. This needs to sit for a while. Is there a problem?"

"I… I don't like asking for help." Ildri began. "And to be honest, I don't really like humans much."

"I thought as much." Morrigan said, her lips turning up in the corners. "And while I thank you for your honesty, you have not answered my question."

"I can't read." Ildri admitted quietly. "I'm having some difficulty with the map."

"And the resident bastard is being childish." Morrigan finished for her. "I can help, but I do have a question."

"What is it?"

"I wonder why you cannot read. Did the Wardens not care enough to teach you?"

"I wasn't even a Warden yet when we first met." Ildri answered, chuckling. "Alistair and Nadia have both been part of the order far longer than I have."

"And yet they deferred command to you?" Morrigan raised her brows. "Curious indeed."

"At least Nadia has a reasonable excuse." Ildri allowed. "She isn't familiar with the surface yet."

"A far better excuse than any the bastard might come up with." Morrigan smirked. Ildri smiled in return and sat down beside her. Morrigan showed her how to read the map, and how to judge distance using landmarks. In return, Ildri helped Morrigan to finish preparing the poultices. Once they were finished, Ildri asked the witch about her life in the Wilds, about her mother, and about magic.

"So you can change into anything?" Ildri asked.

"I can change into anything I have studied. I have mastered an assortment of forms, but few that may be of any use in battle." Morrigan explained.

"What's your favorite?" She asked, and the witch fell silent for a moment.

"I do not know that I have a favorite." Morrigan said. "The raven is one of the most useful, as is a fox. One can easily observe others without being noticed."

"Like in the Wilds when you followed us to the old tower?"

"That is one such instance, yes." The witch chuckled. "I chose a raven at that time. The 'spawn were rampant through the Wilds, and a raven was far less likely to attract their notice than a fox. I would often travel to Lothering, and observe the villagers from afar. They seemed such curious beings to me, when I was younger."

"What do you mean?" Ildri drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Night had completely fallen, and it was getting chilly. Morrigan noticed Ildri's movement, and used her magic to make the fire bigger. "Thank you."

"'Tis no trouble." The witch said dismissively. "I had not seen many people beyond my mother. I remember there was one time I went to the village, a woman arrived in a carriage. She wore silks and jewels and such. I had thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When she was gone, I snuck in and stole a golden hand-mirror. I made off with my treasure, most pleased with myself."

"Oh, I bet Flemeth was pissed." Ildri chuckled.

"She was furious that I had risked discovery for something so frivolous. To teach me a lesson, Flemeth smashed the mirror upon the ground. I was… heartbroken."

"You were only a child, you didn't know any better yet." Ildri said, frowning.

"And a foolish one. Flemeth was right to break me of my fascination."

"But still. It seems a harsh lesson for a child."

"Beauty and love are fleeting and have no meaning. _Survival_ has meaning. _Power_ has meaning. Without those lessons I would not be here today, as difficult as they may have been."

"That much is true. Look at the Queen. She's more than just a pretty face. She'd have to be, to put up with Cailan."

"You met the bastard's half-brother?" Morrigan asked.

"At Ostagar. He was a fool. A kind-hearted fool, I thought, but still a fool." Ildri paused for a moment. "Wait, how do you know about that?"

"He spoke rather loudly in Redcliffe. For someone intent upon keeping secrets, he should speak more quietly." Morrigan informed her.

"Bah. Oh well. No surprises later, then." Ildri looked over at the 'main' camp area, where the others slept. Alistair was on watch at the moment, and Nadia would be next. With the five of them, there were three people on watch a night, with one person on two nights in a row. Sten had final watch that night. "We should probably get to bed. Take full advantage of our night off."

"Rest well, Warden." Morrigan said, and Ildri frowned.

"Why in the Void can't anyone use my name?" She murmured, walking towards her own tent. Her mabari was lying there, waiting for her. "At least you have an excuse. You can't talk." Ildri ran a hand over his head and crawled into her bedroll.

* * *

><p>Ildri looked down at the elf. They had been travelling on the road to Denerim when a woman had run out screeching about bandits. They'd followed her down the road only to find an ambush waiting for them. The only person still alive was this elf, and she was waiting for him to wake up. The others were looting the crates and bodies nearby. Her gaze followed them as they returned, one by one, and when they were all standing around the downed elf, she nudged him with her foot in an attempt to wake him.<p>

"Ohh…" He groaned. "I did not expect to wake at all." He looked up at Ildri and her companions.

"I want some answers, and you're going to give them to me." Ildri growled, and crouched down beside him.

"Oh, is that all you wanted?" He smirked at her. "Then I will give you what answers I can."

"Who are you?" Ildri demanded.

"My name is Zevran… Zev, to my friends. I am… or was, really, an assassin of the Antivan Crows."

"'Was'?" Ildri asked, raising a brow. The other elf shrugged.

"If you do not kill me, then the Crows will."

"Who hired you?"

"Well, a man by the name of Howe contacted the Crows, but the other man… Loghain, I believe, approved of the venture." Ildri looked away from the assassin to regard her companions.

"Any of you know who this Howe guy is?" Her question was answered with a chorus of 'no'. She turned back to face the assassin. "What do you know about him?"

"He appears to be Loghain's right-hand man, as well as the holder of a number of titles. Teyrn of Highever, as well as Arl of both Amaranthine and Denerim."

"Denerim? What happened to the previous Arl?" Ildri asked, frowning.

"I do not know." The assassin admitted with a shrug.

"I guess it doesn't matter much." Ildri thought of her family for a moment, and prayed that this Howe was a far better Arl then the previous one had been. _Unlikely, but a girl can hope._ She continued to interrogate Zevran, and got very few answers for her troubles. Most of the answers were things that they had already assumed, or could figure out on their own. Ildri shook her head. "So, now what are we supposed to do with you?"

"I have a proposition for you." The assassin said, and Ildri raised a brow. "Not of that kind, but..." his eyes ran over her for a moment, and she suppressed a shiver. "I wouldn't turn it down, either."

"What kind of deal are you thinking? I'm not about to let you wander off on your own." Ildri snapped.

"Here's the thing: as I mentioned before, since I failed to complete the contract, my life is now forfeit to the Crows. I am of a mind to live a bit longer, so why don't I come along on your adventure?" He offered, and Ildri laughed.

"You must think I'm royally stupid." She said, shaking her head.

"I think you're royally tough to kill! And utterly gorgeous." Ildri narrowed her eyes at him, and he quickly backtracked. "Not that I think simple flattery will convince you, but there are worse things in life than serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess." Ignoring the last part of his sentence, Ildri continued questioning him.

"What's to stop you from trying to finish your contract later?"

"The Crows would probably kill me on principle, merely for failing the first time." He shrugged. "I can also be very useful to you. I am well-versed in stealth and picking locks. I can identify and brew an assortment of poisons, and can warn you if the Crows make another attempt on your life."

"Is that likely?" She asked, and he nodded.

"I can almost guarantee it, in fact. The Crows do not give up a contract until it is finished, the client withdraws their contract, or if the client dies." Ildri looked up at her companions.

"What do you think?" She asked. "After all, if he does change his mind, it's not just my life at risk." Alistair looked surprised, and happy, to be asked his opinion at all.

"We do need all the help we can get…" Nadia murmured.

"A fine idea, although I would suggest inspecting your food and drink more closely from now on." Morrigan piped up.

"Nadia's right." Alistair sighed. "It's not the best idea, but I guess it'll do." Ildri turned towards Sten.

"Lives are the most valuable resource." He murmured. Sighing inwardly at his cryptic remark, she turned back to the assassin.

"Very well." She rose to her feet and assisted him to his own.

"I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, without reservation… this, I swear." Zevran gave her a half-bow, and she returned his weapons to him.

"If I so much as _think_ that you're considering breaking that vow, you won't live long enough to regret it." Ildri promised him. "Let's get moving." She raised her voice so the others could hear her. "We're wasting daylight."

* * *

><p>At camp that night, Ildri had drawn the last watch. She had gone to bed early, and Morrigan woke her when her own shift was done. Nadia had gotten first watch. Even though they now numbered six, Ildri didn't trust the assassin enough to keep watch while they all slept. Partway through her shift, she saw Sten leave his tent.<p>

"Morning." Ildri called out. "Didn't think anyone would be up yet." The giant looked at her, then walked over to sit at her side.

"You are not quite as callow as I thought. That is… unexpected." He commented, and Ildri raised a brow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Callow? It is a word in your tongue. It means, 'without feathers'. As a new-hatched bird."

"I know what the word means. I don't think you thought I was supposed to have feathers, though." She smirked up at the giant, who frowned down at her.

"Then why ask?"

"I meant, why did you think I was callow? You mean young and inexperienced, don't you?"

"Yes. Perhaps it is part of being an elf."

"It might also be because I _am_ young, Sten. Barely more than a child, according to some." Ildri drew her knees to her chest and folded her arms on top of them, resting her chin on her arms. "I'm the youngest person here, unless you count the dog."

"You count your age according to winters seen, do you not?" Sten asked.

"That's a rather old-fashioned way of doing it, but not uncommon. Either way, you get the same number. I'm still sixteen, no matter how you count it."

"Youth can be tempered by wisdom. Youth can be underestimated by one's foes." Sten pointed out.

"Youth can be cut short by things seen and lived with since childhood." Ildri murmured. "I don't know what the Qunari children do, but Alienage children don't have the time to do what human children do. Young humans play, and have actual childhoods. Elven children are working somewhere as soon as they can, trying to bring money in so that their families can eat. There aren't many places that will hire children, though. The places that will are usually dangerous."

"Qunari children study. They learn their place in the world."

"What do you mean, 'their place in the world'?" Ildri asked, looking over at Sten.

"What do your priests teach the imekari, if not how to be adults?"

"That's what parents do. Priests sit in the Chantry all day with their thumbs up their collective asses."

"What is… parents?" Sten asked.

"What do Qunari call people with children?"

"Tamassrans. But the imekari are not 'theirs'. They belong to the Qunari, not the priesthood."

"Parents don't own children, they're the ones who birth them." Ildri explained, and Sten raised his brows.

"You let your imekari be raised by _them_? That explains much." Sten scoffed.

"You're serious? Qunari don't raise their own children?" Ildri shook her head. "I don't think I'd ever be able to do that. I wouldn't let anyone take my children from me."

"Why would you keep them if another could do it better?" Sten asked.

"It doesn't sound like there's much love in your culture. Love between parents and their children, between siblings, between spouses. It doesn't even sound like you have all of those."

"My brothers were in the Beresaad."

"What about sisters? Mothers? Aunts, uncles, and cousins? Don't you have any of those?" Ildri asked, and Sten shook his head.

"I do not even know what these are." He admitted, and Ildri began to explain family relations to him.

"I have two cousins, from opposite sides of my family. One through my mother, and one through my father. My cousin Soris is from my father's side of the family. His father is my father's brother. My father and his father shared the same parents. My cousin Shianni's father and my mother were brother and sister. Both Soris and Shianni's parents are my aunts and uncles."

"You have no siblings? Blood siblings, in the way you count them?" Sten asked, and Ildri shook her head.

"Not that my parents didn't try. My mother got pregnant a couple of times, but she miscarried." At Sten's confused look, she explained. "The pregnancy… the baby died inside my mother, essentially. That's the easiest way to explain it. I would have had an older brother, but he caught the wasting sickness. I never met him."

"We do not have families in the way that you do. We have family in duty, in those that we do our duties with."

"That seems like an awfully lonely way to live." Ildri said. There was a sound behind them, and Ildri peered over her shoulder to see Alistair coming out of his tent. "Bah. The bastard's an early riser, I see."

"What is this you call him?" Sten asked.

"It's a nickname of sorts that Morrigan and I have for him. He's a bastard son – his parents weren't married."

"You use many words that I do not know." Sten growled. "What is a nickname?"

"It's… a title, in a way. It's not always flattering, like this one for Alistair. Close family members often have nicknames for each other. It's usually a shortening of a person's name, or something based on their behavior. Shianni was 'that little firecracker' to the elders of the Alienage for ages, because of her temper." Ildri glanced up at Sten, who was still frowning. "I don't mean to use words that you don't know, and I'm sorry. I'll help you learn more, if you want."

"That would be appreciated." Sten said, nodding.

"In return, maybe you can teach me some of your language." Ildri teased him. "Or you could tell me more about you, or about the Qunari."

"If you insist." Sten grumbled.

"You don't have to. I'm trying to get to know you. I thought that we went over this at Redcliffe." Ildri frowned. "Is it really so bad that I'm curious?"

"I applaud your attempt to pursue knowledge, irritating as it may be." Ildri glared up at him for a moment, a biting retort on her tongue, but she saw the corners of his mouth were slightly turned up. _Maker's breath, I think he's teasing me._

"Thank you." She replied instead.

* * *

><p>They reached Denerim later that day. There were no guards watching for Grey Wardens, but that might have been because Loghain assumed that his Crows had killed them all.<p>

"Um, Ildri, can I ask you a favor?" Alistair asked.

"Ask, and then I'll decide." Ildri replied. She was itching to get into the city to see her family again.

"It turns out that I have a half-sister living here in Denerim. I was wondering if there might be time to stop and see her. I've never met her before, and I'd like to be able to, before this whole Blight thing really gets out of hand."

"I don't see where the favor you're looking for comes in." Ildri said. "I'm going to see my family, and do a few other things while we're here. It's not like you need my permission or anything."

"I was hoping you might come with me. Just because you know Denerim better than any of us." He quickly explained.

"Does she know about you?"

"I… I don't know. I never thought I'd even meet her, so I didn't think to ask that."

"Who is she?"

"Her name's Goldanna. She lives-"

"Ouch. That's your sister?" Ildri interrupted. "I feel sorry for you."

"What do you mean? You know her?"

"She's… not the nicest of women. You think Isolde's bad? I think that the two of them would get along just fine."

"Great. Just what I need. More cantankerous women in my life." Alistair groaned.

"Just warning you. If you really want to go and see her, then I'll come along. If nothing else, it might be funny."

"Thanks." He retorted dryly.

"Anytime." She looked at the others. "All right. Everyone can go and do their own thing here, I just don't want guards called out on us for anything. And I want someone with Zevran at all times."

"You do not trust me?" Zevran pouted, putting a hand on his chest. "For shame."

"Right now, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Especially here." Ildri informed him. "I'd prefer a volunteer to watch him, but I'll assign someone if necessary."

"I'll do it." Nadia piped up. "I've dealt with my fair share of dusters. He won't be any trouble."

"Thanks." Ildri nodded at her. "Alistair, we'll go deal with your thing now. Anyone who wants to tag along, can. Otherwise, meet up at the Dry Wineskin for dinner. It's just outside the Alienage." Ildri handed her a small coin purse, then Nadia, Zevran and Morrigan wandered off together, leaving Ildri with Alistair, Sten, and the still-unnamed mabari hound. "All right. Last I checked, Goldanna's house is right around… here." Ildri found the house and stopped in front of it. "Down the street from the Chantry. Always been easy to find."

"All right. Um…" Alistair frowned at the house in question before looking over at Ildri. "It'll be weird having a sister. Sister…" He said the word slower and louder the second time, horribly mangling the word. "We don't have to do this, you know. We could… we could just go."

"Maker's breath, Alistair. You expect to fight a bloody Archdemon, but you go to pieces even thinking about talking to your sister? Grow a pair." She walked past him and opened the door before gesturing for him to enter. "Let's get moving."

* * *

><p>They left Goldanna's house a few minutes later. Alistair looked extremely disappointed, like a child whose favorite toy has been taken away from them.<p>

"Well… that didn't go like I thought it would." He murmured. "I thought… that family was supposed to accept you, no matter what."

"They usually do. It's not always like that, though. Even in the Alienage, there are some families that just don't get along at all." Ildri thought of Elva and her husband and shuddered. "I'm sorry that your sister is a horrible bag." She said quickly.

"It's not your fault." Alistair replied. "Let's just get on with whatever we were doing." Ildri nodded and the four of them walked out into the market. Ildri sold off the extra supplies that they'd picked up, as well as a few other things that were sitting in her pack. She pulled out a statuette to sell to one of the merchants, then saw Alistair eyeing it.

"Here." She offered it to him and he eyed her warily for a moment. "I'm not going to hit you with it, just take the blighted thing." He took it from her and a small smile crossed his lips.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"You've had a shitty day." She replied, shrugging. She looked skywards and saw that the sun was in the lower half of the sky. "The girls and Zevran should be heading to the Wineskin soon." Alistair followed her gaze then nodded.

"You'll have to show the way. When I was in Denerim, I didn't travel far alone, and we didn't go beyond the market area." He informed her, and Ildri smirked.

"I could damn near take us there with my eyes closed." She bragged. "Let's get going, though. I want to stop at the Alienage, too." Ildri led the group across the main square of the market place towards the bridge that crossed into the Alienage. The smile on her lips flickered then died when she saw that the portcullis was down. "Shit." She growled, picking up her pace. There were a pair of guards standing on either side of it.

"Why is the Alienage closed?" Ildri demanded of one of them.

"A few months back, some of the elves rioted. Imagine, they killed the old Arl's son in his own home!" Ildri winced at the reminder. "After that, the new Arl declared a Purge." _No, no…_ Ildri rapidly blinked away the tears before they could fall.

"That doesn't explain why it's still closed." Her voice wobbled slightly, but the guard didn't notice.

"Oh, there's a plague. Arl Howe closed it off to keep it from spreading." The guard informed her.

"Are they receiving food? Water? Medicine? Anything?" Ildri nearly screeched.

"The Regent sent in some men a while back, some mages. They set up a quarantine." The guard said, and Ildri felt a tide of relief and anxiety wash over her at the same time.

"Why would he do something like that?" Ildri asked, and the guard shrugged.

"I guess some of the nobles are missing their servants." Ildri knew that she wasn't going to get any more answers from him and walked away.

"Um… are you all right?" Alistair asked, walking beside her.

"Not really." Ildri replied, rubbing her temples. "All of this… it's my fault."

"How can it be your fault? You weren't even here." Alistair scoffed.

"I started it. _I_ killed the Arl's son." She admitted. "And then this Howe led his troops through the Alienage and they killed anyone and anything they could get their hands on." Ildri clenched and unclenched her fists as they walked. "Son of a _bitch_!" She swore, and punched the stone wall they were passing. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, but the rage she felt had suppressed that thought. At least, it had until she felt three of her fingers break. _"Fuck!"_ She cursed louder, cradling her injured hand close.

"Let's get you to this tavern before you injure yourself even more." Alistair suggested. "Which way is it?"

"It's right over there." Ildri nodded her head towards it.

"Come on, then." Alistair reached out to put a hand on her arm, but she backed out of his reach.

"Just… not now. I don't need to be coddled." She spoke without heat, trying to let him know that she wasn't angry at him. He seemed to understand, and nodded his head. When they reached the tavern, he held the door for her, and she nodded her thanks. Alistair smiled back at her. Ildri scanned the room quickly, looking for Morrigan. She didn't see the witch in the common room, but Nadia and Zevran were sitting at a table.

"You guys got in a fight already?" Nadia asked, gesturing towards Ildri's hand.

"Just a disagreement with the wall." Ildri said, forcing a smile on her face. "Where's Morrigan?"

"She's upstairs. None of the fellows in here would leave her alone, and she apparently decided it would be a bad idea to turn them all into toads, so she beat a hasty retreat."

"Which room?"

"Boys are third on the left, girls are third on the right." The dwarf told her. Ildri nodded and hurried up the stairs. She assumed that Alistair would tell Nadia and Zevran about what had actually caused her to punch the wall, and she didn't want to hear it all again. When she reached the door Nadia had specified, she tapped it with her foot in lieu of knocking. When she heard Morrigan speak, she pushed it open. Morrigan was lying on the bed, reading a book she had 'borrowed' from the Redcliffe castle library.

"I know you're not 'adept at healing', to use your words, but is there anything you can do for my hand?" She asked.

"We have not been here six hours, and you managed to get in a fight already?" The witch scoffed, rising from the bed.

"No, I… I got angry and punched a stone wall." She admitted, holding out her hand.

"That was intelligent of you." The woman snarked.

"I know, I know. Can you look at it?" She asked again. The witch gestured for her to sit, and she did. Morrigan took her hand and studied it.

"If I may ask," She said as she prodded Ildri's fingers, "what caused your anger?" Ildri winced as the woman tested her fingers.

"I found out that my family might be dead because of me." Morrigan looked up at her for a moment, a brow raised. "Long story short, I killed the old Arl's son, and the new Arl went through the Alienage and killed people. Now, there's a plague in the Alienage, and I can't get through the gates to check." Morrigan didn't respond to that at first. The witch's hands were glowing with a blue light, and Ildri gasped in pain as she felt her fingers slide roughly back into place. When Morrigan released her hand, Ildri flexed her fingers.

"'Tis all I can do. They are still rather fragile, and will remain so for a time. I would not recommend taking your ire out on walls in the future."

"Thank you." Ildri murmured.

"I admit to being curious about this Arl's son." Morrigan ventured. Morrigan would never admit it, but Ildri had learned that the woman loved to gossip. In the best way, though; she would never speak to the others about anything Ildri told her. Ildri relayed the tale of her disastrous wedding day to the witch, and the other woman grew obviously more disgusted as the tale went on.

"If you had not killed him already, I would be sorely tempted to go and do it my own self." The witch admitted. "There is no reason for that… that… _behavior_," Morrigan spat the word, "when there are women who are more than willing to provide the service for a fee."

"Sanga kicked him out of the Pearl ages ago because of his so-called 'behavior'." Ildri informed her.

"That gladdens me. Some men are more beast than human. Even an _animal_ cannot rape a female. She must be willing, and if she is not, she will merely walk away. Men such as that… I am loathe to compare him to any animal, for 'twould be insulting to the beast. Regardless, men such as he deserve to be slaughtered."

"I agree. And even if I hadn't killed him, there probably _still_ would've been a Purge, just because I killed so many of his guards there." Ildri sighed. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"The laws are obviously biased in favor of humans. Perhaps 'twould not be entirely disastrous were the bastard to take the throne. 'Tis likely he would change them." Morrigan pointed out.

"He might. But people are so used to looking down at elves, they'd probably resist any changes at all. The first time one of the shems broke a law, he'd have to crack down hard, to show that he's not playing around." Ildri sighed and leaned back against the wall. "And then, he'd probably have to watch his ass against assassination attempts."

"For one not a noble, you seem to be quite familiar with how they… function, for lack of a better term." The witch asked cautiously, and Ildri shrugged.

"It's mostly common sense. Every time we have a new hahren, a few elves push their luck to see what they can get away with."

"Is a hahren your Alienage representative to the Crown?" Morrigan asked, and Ildri laughed.

"Shit, no. He's the Alienage elder. Think a mayor, but with no actual rights."

"Then what is the point of having one?"

"I guess to keep the Alienage from descending into the shithole the city actually thinks it is. And so that the shems only have to talk to one person instead of everyone, I guess." They fell into silence for a while.

"If you would like," Morrigan began, "I could teach you to read. If you are insistent upon claiming the title of Warden-Commander, 'twould be a most useful skill."

"You're probably right." Ildri sighed. "At least this way I don't have to wound my pride by asking." She joked.

"'Tis true enough." Morrigan agreed, nodding her head.

"Thank you, Morrigan. It'd be nice to be able to read things on my own. When can we begin?" Morrigan smiled in response and walked over to her pack.

"I had been planning on asking you, so I took the liberty of acquiring some tools." She came back with a quill, ink, and some old parchment. "We will begin with teaching you the alphabet." Morrigan guided her through the first part of the alphabet, showing more patience than Ildri had expected. They continued until Nadia came up, then the three women went to bed.

* * *

><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Vashedan (sparring with Sten): trash, refuse.**


	6. Chapter 6

Ildri was the first to wake in the room she'd shared with Morrigan and Nadia. She quickly and quietly got dressed before heading down the stairs for breakfast. Sten, unsurprisingly, was already in the common room.

"Good morning." She greeted him, sitting across from him. She waved for one of the waitresses to bring her some food. "Are you always up this early?"

"Any part of the day slept away is wasted." Sten replied. "Time is a valuable resource."

"Is there anything you don't consider a valuable resource?" Ildri asked, smirking.

"There are some things, yes." He said, nodding. Ildri waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't.

"Do you find Ferelden very strange?" Ildri asked.

"To put it lightly." He murmured. Ildri waited for a moment, then gestured for him to continue. "No one has a place here. Your farmers wish to be merchants. The merchants dream of being nobles, and the nobles become warriors. No one is content to be who they are."

"What if the farmer is better at being a merchant?" Ildri asked.

"Then he should have been so from the start."

"It doesn't work like that here. A farmer doesn't just become a merchant overnight. They have to save their money for years, usually."

"Then perhaps he should remain a farmer."

"Don't the Qunari ever want to change their lot in life?"

"What does that accomplish?" Sten scoffed. "A farmer who buys a shop is never a merchant; he is always a farmer-turned-merchant. He carries his old life with him as a turtle carries his shell."

"He might be happier." Ildri pointed out. There was a pause in conversation as Ildri's food was delivered.

"Happiness is fragile. Nothing can be built upon it that will last. Only duty endures."

"So it's not important to be happy?" Ildri asked, frowning.

"You can learn to find it in doing your duty, in serving your people. There is no need to search for it."

"You mean like taking pride in your duty? Making sure it's done well?" She asked, and Sten nodded.

"That is one way to phrase it."

"I guess that makes sense." Ildri allowed. She took a few bites of her food, thinking about what Sten had said. "So… is there anything you _like_ about Ferelden so far?" Ildri asked.

"There is… interesting food here." Sten admitted. "It has no name in the Qunari tongue. Little baked things, like bread, but sweet, and crumbly."

"Cookies?"

"Yes! We have no such things in our lands. This should be remedied." Sten said, nodding. Ildri tried to hold her smile back, but she couldn't.

"I never would have guessed you'd have a sweet tooth." Ildri chuckled, looking up at the giant.

"What is that?"

"You like sweet things. So, you have a sweet tooth." She explained, turning her attention back to her meal. Sten frowned at her for a moment, but she ignored it. Alistair was the next one down the stairs. He nodded at her in greeting, and she returned the gesture. It wasn't long after that when the others made their appearance.

"We visited that guy Genitivi's place yesterday." Nadia informed her. "His assistant or whatever was there, but something about him seemed… off." Her food arrived, and she dug in.

"What do you mean, 'off'?" Ildri asked.

"He was rather evasive about our questions." Zevran answered. "All he would tell us was that Genitivi had been staying at an inn at Lake Calenhad."

"There's got to be more than that he can tell us." Ildri murmured, rubbing her temples. "We'll stop back there again today. I don't want to have to come all the way back just because he forgot to tell us something." Ildri waited for the others to finish their meals, and then they left. When they passed the Alienage gates, Ildri felt a rush of anger mixed with shame. She'd heard before that hindsight was a bitch, but she'd not understood the meaning of the saying before. The mabari nudged her leg, and she reached down to scratch behind his ears. _I hope that they're all right in there._ She spared one more glance for the Alienage, then gestured for Nadia to lead the way.

* * *

><p>Weylon – Genitivi's assistant – had been lying through his teeth. Ildri had pointed out where he was contradicting himself in his story, and he'd attacked. The last thing she had expected was for him to throw a fireball at her. After killing him, they had found more information, showing where Genitivi had <em>actually<em> gone, and had collected his notes then left the building. Ildri lead them through the Market District of Denerim, but before they could pass the gates, she'd been stopped.

"Message for you." She looked down to see a small boy tugging at the sleeve of her armor.

"Who-"

"Got to go! More messages to deliver!" The boy waved and ran off. Ildri sighed and looked down at the envelope in her hand. It was sealed with a glob of wax, but she didn't see an insignia.

"Morrigan?" Ildri turned to the witch. "Is it possible to booby-trap a letter with magic?" The witch extended her hand, and Ildri handed her the envelope.

"'Tis not unheard of, but very difficult." She inspected it, even lifting it to her nose to sniff it. She glanced at Ildri, who nodded almost imperceptibly, before breaking the seal and opening it. "Someone with a business venture for you, of a sort. They wish to meet with you in the Gnawed Noble tavern."

"At least it's not far." Ildri nodded and turned back around.

"What? It could be a trap! You're not going to actually look into it, are you?" Alistair asked.

"If it is a trap, we'll be ready for it. They're probably not expecting me to bring my full crew. Also, if it's Loghain, he probably assumes that they're all mercenaries." She gestured towards the non-Wardens in the group.

"I must say, this does not seem like the doing of the Crows." Zevran piped up. "A tavern is not a good place for fighting in."

"Unless it's a bar fight." Ildri quipped.

"That is correct, my lovely Warden." Zevran smirked at her. "However, I do not believe we will be getting into one of those any time soon." Ildri accepted the letter from Morrigan and put it in a pocket.

"Let's go see what this 'business venture' is all about." Ildri lead the way to the tavern, and Morrigan pointed out the room indicated in the letter. Ildri pushed the door open, and the party followed her in. With all seven of them, as well as the people they'd come to meet, it was a bit crowded. A human man stood at the back of the room, with two guards. Ildri narrowed her eyes, studying him. He was tall, lean, with a shaved head. There was some dark stubble running across the top of his head. Ildri was sure she'd seen him somewhere before.

"Good afternoon, Warden." The man said. His accent was familiar, but she couldn't place it.

"You sent me a letter?" She asked abruptly. "If you know I'm a Warden, then you also know that I'm a busy woman."

"Indeed you are." His eyes travelled up and down Ildri's body, studying her in turn. Ildri shifted her feet, waiting impatiently. "Maybe we have some things that we can… talk about."

"Just see this conversation stays civil. If this is a trap…" Zevran cut in.

"You know this guy?" Ildri asked, glancing at the assassin.

"Zevran, isn't it?" Ignacio looked over at him. "You are Taliesen's responsibility, but in my eyes, you're already dead. So you are of no notice. But your friend here…" The man looked back at Ildri with a small smile on his lips. "She is of great interest to me."

"I thought you said this wasn't going to be Crows?" Ildri growled at the other elf.

"I said it didn't seem like it. Not if they were going to attack you." Zevran corrected.

"So just who the fuck are you?" Ildri demanded of the man.

"Forgive my manners." He bowed slightly, never taking his eyes off her. "Master Ignacio. You may have seen me in the Market a time or two."

"You've been in Denerim for some time." Ildri nodded. _That's where I know him from._ "I saw you numerous times throughout the years."

"Yes, you would have, growing up in Denerim as you did."

"So you're a Crow? You were hired to kill me."

"_I_ wasn't hired. I cannot stress that enough. An _associate_ was. And he has failed. _Badly._" His eyes drifted to Zevran for a moment before returning to Ildri's.

"I'd like to see _you_ do any better." Zevran groused. Ildri glared at him.

"Really? That's something you'd _like_ to see?" She asked, her hand reaching for her sword.

"I did not mean it as such." Zevran put his hands up, palms facing her. "I was expressing my doubts that he could succeed."

"That is a contract I would never take." Ignacio said smoothly. "However, a client can always hire more… help… if the job isn't done the first time. But, I am hoping we can make sure that doesn't happen."

"I've only heard of one time the entire House of Crows was hired for a job." Zevran protested, and Ignacio nodded.

"Yes. A princely sum changed hands, and an entire noble house died. Not one soul survived." Ignacio stressed the last words.

"Is there a point you're trying to make here? Or can we get down to whatever you called me here for?" Ildri broke in. "I have places to be."

"Your Ferelden is a busy place." Ignacio murmured. "With your Blight, and your civil war. Other mayhem. Lots of people not getting along."

"Yes? That last part is a given any day of the week." Ildri gestured impatiently.

"Maybe some people want to do something about it. The people who handle that sort of thing can get very busy."

"So you're… what, hiring help?" Ildri scoffed.

"There's not a whole lot of people we can turn to if we're… short staffed." Ignacio explained. "I thought that perhaps someone who had faced us, bested us, might just be the sort of help we needed."

"So what happens if I help? Will you leave me alone?" Ildri crossed her arms over her chest.

"There is nothing I can do about that." Ignacio sighed. "One Master has a contract on you."

"Then what's even the point of this charade?" She demanded.

"I mentioned before that help can be hired." Ignacio pointed out, and Ildri nodded. "If the Master with your contract asks for help, after you have been so helpful to us… maybe, all he'll get is silence."

"So you won't raise your hand for me, but you won't raise it against me, either." Ildri summarized, and the old Crow nodded. "I can live with that."

"Whoa, hold on a second!" Alistair said, walking up beside Ildri. "We're just going to go out and kill a bunch of people, just because the _Crows_ told us to?"

"I'm _trying_ to make sure that we don't end up dead before the Blight's been taken care of." Ildri pointed out. "If a few soft, stupid nobles are in the way, then so be it."

"That's not right." Alistair argued.

"I don't care if it's right or not!" Ildri threw her hands in the air. "We're not perfect! How many times did you hear Duncan say 'whatever means necessary'? Or were you even paying any attention?"

"Of course I was paying attention!" He replied.

"Why do you think we're not called 'the White Wardens'? Do you honestly think that every single previous Blight was defeated without making any sacrifices? For fuck sakes, think of the things that are sacrificed just to join the bloody order!"

"Those are supposed to be-" Alistair began, but Nadia stepped on his foot, drawing his attention to her.

"There's not going to be any kind of _secrecy_," She stressed the word, glaring up at Alistair, "if you two start a fight back here." Alistair flushed slightly at his near-slip and nodded down at the dwarf. She turned to look up at Ildri, who also nodded before turning back to the Crow.

"So how does this work?" She asked, as if she'd never been interrupted. His gaze flickered back and forth from her to Alistair before speaking.

"I hand you a scroll." He held out his hand towards her, containing said scroll. Ildri took it. "Might make for some fine reading, you know." Ildri raised a brow, but she opened it anyway. She recognized a few letters, but not nearly enough to be able to decipher what was written on the scroll. "If you find out something… happens to him, something unfortunate, perhaps, you come back to see me. I then give you money for… letting me know."

"What if a person doesn't like what they read?" Alistair butted in.

"Then you don't do anything. Maybe he has an accident, and someone else tells me all about it." Ignacio barely spared him a glance, as he was focused on Ildri.

"I think that this is something we can work together on." Ildri nodded.

"Happy reading." It was an obvious dismissal, but Ildri shook her head.

"I have some questions for you before we leave."

"By all means." He waved for her to continue.

"What can you tell me about other contracts? Any taken out by Howe, for instance?" He looked wary.

"I don't see how-"

"The way I see it," Ildri interrupted, "you won't be able to help the Master who took the contract on us if you're not around to give it." Ignacio's guards reached for their weapons, but the Crow merely raised a brow.

"Are you threatening me, girl?" He asked, and Ildri shrugged.

"I'm just pointing out other solutions to my problem with the Crows." Ignacio's gaze flitted over to Zevran for a moment, then back to her.

"There is one outstanding contract." He said, and his guards relaxed. "Andreina Cousland."

"Who is that? What happened?"

"She survived." The Crow shrugged his shoulders. "The only person who survived the massacre of her family. The ruling family of the Teyrnir of Highever." Ildri smirked.

"A Teyrn or Teyrna is far more powerful, politically, than an Arl." She commented.

"What are you thinking?" Alistair asked.

"I'm thinking that the more nobles we have on our side, the better off we're going to be." She replied, her smile nearly splitting her face. "Do you have any information on her?" She asked the old Crow. He walked across the room and pulled a scroll from a chest.

"Best of luck, Warden." He said, handing it to her.

* * *

><p>The first Crow contract was for a group of people working for Howe. They had set up a trap for any Grey Wardens or people who supported them. Since the Pearl was on the way out of Denerim, the group stopped their first. Ildri had to hold back her laughter as Alistair's face went from pink to red and finally scarlet in a matter of minutes. The group was in one of the back rooms of the whorehouse, and didn't take long to take care of. Part of that might have been the fact that the four of them were in a self-inflicted bottleneck, and part of it might have been that they hadn't expected any armed resistance. After that, they went to the main room of the establishment to have a bite to eat, and Ildri looked over the Cousland girl's scroll with subtle assistance from Morrigan. The girl was supposed to have dark blue eyes and curly, coal-black hair, but it wasn't much to go on.<p>

"It says here…" Ildri faltered for a moment, studying the scroll. Morrigan read it to her quietly, so that only she could hear. "It says here that there was to be no reward unless the girl is brought in alive."

"We don't get requests like that one very often." Zevran commented. He stood and walked over to stand beside her and study the scroll over her shoulder. Ildri felt an odd tingle run down her spine, but shrugged it off. _It's probably just because he tried to kill me. It's got nothing to do with the fact that he's an extremely good-looking elf._ She shook her head to clear it and pushed the scroll closer to him.

"What does that mean?" She asked.

"It means that she is either wanted for some kind of trial, or that this Howe fellow is a very sick and twisted man." He informed her. Ildri didn't need any more information than that.

"We can't let him get his hands on her." She said determinedly. Nadia met her eyes for a moment and nodded, and Ildri thought that Morrigan might have squeezed her arm in a show of solidarity.

"Any leads on her location?" Nadia asked.

"According to this, she was last seen in Denerim." Morrigan replied. "However, I cannot attest to its accuracy. "There are any number of women with dark blue eyes and coal black hair in the city, no doubt."

"She's a noble, right? Won't they have an estate or something?" Alistair asked, and Ildri nodded.

"Yes. Some people from the Alienage worked there as servants. I know where it is. But we'll have to be careful. It's probably being watched."

"So… we wait for nightfall?" Alistair asked.

"Well…" Ildri began, looking around at her companions. "Alistair, you and Sten are too big and noisy to be doing any sneaking around, to be completely honest. I think that you two, and the mabari here, will be left to your own devices."

"And what of the witch?" Sten asked.

"I guess that's up to her." Ildri turned to face her. "Morrigan, would you like to come with us? Your skills could be invaluable."

"What 'skills' are you referring to? I am not adept at sneaking about as you do." She pointed out.

"Maybe Morrigan the _human_ isn't, but what about Morrigan the raven?" Ildri replied, and the witch fell silent for a moment.

"I… had not thought of that, myself. I did not realize what a boon my abilities could be, in the city as well as the countryside."

"So will you come with us?" Ildri asked again, and Morrigan nodded. "I'll have to cover my hair and smudge my face. Your face too, Nadia. You're too damn pale."

"I hadn't seen the sun until eight months ago!" She protested. "Of course I'm pale."

"Sun or no sun, you're getting smudged." Ildri waggled a finger at the dwarf.

"What do you expect the three of us to do?" Alistair asked.

"Well, we _are_ in a whorehouse, Alistair." Ildri pointed out. He immediately started blushing again, and she laughed. "You guys can do pretty much whatever you want, as long as you're alive when we come back. If you're not staying here, though, we need to know. I don't want to have to chase you down all over the city in case there's trouble."

"We can drop off the scroll, tell that Ignacio guy the 'bad news' about Paedan and his crew." Alistair suggested, and Ildri nodded.

"See if he's got anything else for us to pick up, too." Ildri rapped the table with her knuckles as she gathered her thoughts. "It might be a good idea for the three of you to go set up camp tonight. With all the inn-ing that we've done the past few days, we're getting short on coin."

"Sounds like a plan. We'll be just to the west of the city, out of sight from the walls, if we can." Alistair rose to his feet, and Ildri pushed Zevran aside so she could talk to the mabari.

"You go with Alistair and Sten, okay?" She ruffled his ears and he barked in what she assumed was affirmation. He trotted after Alistair, and Ildri rose to her feet. Morrigan, Nadia, and Sten did as well. Ildri saw that Sten was giving her 'that look' – the one that meant he wanted to talk to her about something. Ildri decided to hang back, allowing the others to leave so that she could speak privately with the giant. Once the two of them were more-or-less alone, he walked towards her.

"Why are we delaying? What do we need this girl for?" He asked.

"Well, for one, we're doing her a favor if we keep her out of Howe's hands." Ildri replied.

"Another question. What did the assassin mean? A sick and twisted man? Is he ill and crippled?"

"I don't think so, considering everything we've heard about him." Ildri said dryly.

"Then why use those words? What is wrong with him?" He demanded, and Ildri folded her arms across her chest.

"It's just a misunderstanding between our terms and yours. Where one word can have multiple meanings. In this instance, 'sick and twisted'… he's a lot like the men I killed before I became a Grey Warden, if our theories are correct."

"You intend to keep her from this rape, then."

"If it's at all possible, then yes." Ildri said, nodding.

"Is that the only reason we are doing this?" He growled.

"She can help us get Loghain out of power." Ildri pointed out. "We can't afford to have a bad leader during a Blight." Much to Ildri's surprise, Sten looked rather… pleased with her logic.

"You cannot afford to have a poor leader at any time." He murmured. "Panahedan, Warden."

* * *

><p>The four of them – Ildri, Zevran, Nadia, and Morrigan – were camouflaged and ready to go. Morrigan was a raven, and she was going to scout out the building first. One caw meant 'all clear', two meant 'trouble', and four meant 'get your stupid asses the fuck outta there before you get yourselves killed'. Morrigan had said it meant something more along the lines of 'there are too many enemies ahead', but Ildri liked her translation better. Ildri wore a bandana over her bright hair, and she and Nadia had smudged their faces and hands with soot to hide any skin that could reflect light. The sun had set, and Ildri lead the way to the Highever Estate. Over the rooftops, of course. Nadia had little trouble, save for when there were large gaps between buildings that needed to be leapt, but Morrigan would quickly find an alternate route if the jump was deemed too risky. Just over an hour past sundown found the group outside the estate. Thankfully, the moon was full that night, and made their job slightly easier. Morrigan flew down, stopping at each window.<p>

"_Caw."_ The two elves and the dwarf scaled down the wall of the building they'd been waiting on and made their way to the rear entrance of the estate. Ildri quickly picked the lock, and they were in.

"All right." Ildri whispered, turning to face the others. "We're not splitting up. I know we could cover more ground if we could, but I don't want anyone left behind by accident if this thing goes pear-shaped on us. We're looking for any evidence that anyone has been living here, or still is. We clear?" The two answered in the affirmative, and they made their way through the estate. Save for the castle at Redcliffe, this was easily the largest building Ildri had ever set foot in. They had come in through the servant's entrance, which led into the kitchen. There was some evidence that someone had recently cooked a meal in there, and Ildri was unsure to take it as a sign of Andreina's presence, or simply Howe's men making themselves a meal. From the kitchen they went into the dining room, and save for a few tracks in the dust coating the floor, it appeared untouched. There were sheets draped over the furniture in the dining room, as well as in the foyer, the sitting room, and the lounge. They cleared the main floor, and carefully made their way up the stairs. They were careful to only tread on the inside edges of the stairs in case the stairs creaked. There were numerous bedrooms on the second floor, as well as a bathing room.

"Do you guys smell that?" Nadia asked, inhaling. "That smells like soap a lady would use." Ildri nodded her agreement, as did Zevran. The three of them exited the bathing room and tread cautiously down the hall. Ildri saw movement out of the corner of her eye and spun towards it, but it turned out to only be Morrigan sitting on a windowsill in raven form. She nodded at the bird, who bobbed in return. The three of them went through every room, starting the furthest away from the bathing room, in case Andreina, or whoever was living in the estate, needed to return to it. After discerning that the other rooms were void of everything but furniture, they proceeded to search the ones on the other end of the hall. Raven-Morrigan was still perched on her windowsill, peering at them. The shape-shifted woman tilted her head to her left, Ildri's right, and pointed her beak towards a door there. Ildri caught Zevran's attention and pantomimed opening the window to let Morrigan inside. Zevran shook his head. _It would probably make too much noise if we tried to open it._ Looking back at the bird, Ildri tried relaying to her that she wanted all of them to meet up at the rear entrance to the estate. Morrigan seemed to understand, because she leapt into flight. Once they were all at the servant's entrance, Morrigan shifted back into her own form.

"I do not understand why you came all the way back down here." The witch hissed quietly. "You were but two steps away from the woman."

"What happens if she thinks we're assassins?" Ildri pointed out. "I'd like you to come with us. If nothing else, you can paralyze her while we explain the situation to her." Morrigan nodded her assent and gestured for Ildri to take them back up the stairs. She shifted back into her raven form, for which Ildri was grateful. As useful as the witch could be in a fight, Ildri didn't want to depend on the other woman's sneaking abilities. Soon, the four of them were gathered outside the door Morrigan had indicated, and she was once again human. Zevran took up position by the door and held up a hand. Ildri counted as his splayed fingers lowered to his palm. _Three… two… one… now!_ The elven assassin threw the door open, and the other three burst into the room. They were greeted by a tall human woman bearing a sword and shield and a mabari hound.

"Who are you? What do you want?" The woman demanded.

"Are you Andreina Cousland?" Ildri asked in turn. The woman fit the description well enough.

"Who is asking?"

"Someone who doesn't want to see Howe get his hands on you." Ildri replied.

"How do I know you're not working for him?" The woman's eyes flitted over their group, probably estimating her chances of fighting and escaping.

"Because Howe declared a Purge on my family, and has locked down the Alienage." The woman's gaze softened.

"You too?" She sighed.

"Andreina – if you are Andreina, anyway – my name is Ildri Tabris. This is Nadia Brosca, Morrigan, and Zevran Arainai."

"Antivan." The woman murmured. She studied Zevran intently. "Crow. Have to be, with that tattoo on your face."

"Former Crow, your Ladyship." Zevran said with a slight bow.

"Nadia and I are Grey Wardens. There is a Blight loose on Ferelden, and we cannot fight it with the country in Loghain's hands. Will you help us?" Ildri asked.

"Loghain is working with Howe. I will help you, if you promise that Howe is mine."

"I promise that none of _my_ companions will kill him. With how 'popular' the man is amongst the common folk, however, I can't guarantee anything else." Ildri replied cautiously, and the woman snorted.

"Very true." The woman smirked and sheathed her sword. "As you have already determined, I am Andreina Cousland. I would appreciate it, however, if you simply called me Andy. I cannot go out and about whilst being 'your lady'-ed to all the time and hope to remain undetected."

"That's understandable." Ildri agreed. "If you don't mind me saying so, you're not exactly what I expected to see in the daughter of a prominent nobleman."

"You're probably the only one who's ever said that without it being a thinly-veiled insult." Andreina said, smirking. "But it's very true. I was never appreciative of the things my mother called 'the ladies' arts'." Ildri nodded and looked around the room.

"Is it safe here?" She asked.

"Safe enough." The noblewoman replied with a shrug. "Howe didn't want to live here, he's over at the Denerim Estate. All he did was close this one up. I don't think he even put it on the market."

"Good. Because we need to talk." Ildri walked across the room and sat down on the floor. Andreina raised a brow, but sat across from her. "There are a few things that we need to go over. There are three more of us in our group – Alistair, another Warden, Sten, our friendly neighborhood Qunari, and my own mabari."

"You have a mabari of your own?" Andreina cut in, excited. "Male or female?"

"He's a boy." Ildri replied shortly.

"Oh." She looked over at her own mabari before looking back at Ildri. "We might need to be careful. Amber here is a bitch, and while I'm sure your mabari is wonderful, I just don't think that now is the best time for my dog to get herself in the family way, if you understand me."

"I do understand. I'll make sure to point that out to him later." Ildri leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. "But back on topic. If you are going to travel with our group, then you need to know who's in charge." Andreina's brows nearly disappeared into her hairline.

"Really, now? And who might that be?"

"That would be me." Ildri held the noblewoman's gaze. "But it's not a dictatorship. I do take advice from our companions. But you need to know that you can't just waltz right into our little group and take command. Are we clear?" The two women sat for a moment, each taking the others' measure. And then, suddenly, the noblewoman burst out laughing. Ildri's immediate reaction was to glare at her, but she held her tongue for now.

"Yes, I think that we'll get along well enough." Andreina smiled broadly at her. "You remind me a lot of myself."

"Beg pardon?" Ildri asked, raising a brow. "How could I possibly remind you of yourself?"

"Your attitude." Andreina gestured towards her. "The whole, 'I won't take shit from nobody' thing. It's not normally seen in elves."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ildri fought to keep her temper. _We need her on our side._

"All I mean is that it's refreshing. If there were more elves like you, there wouldn't be incidents like that one in the Denerim Alienage a few months back." Andreina explained. Ildri flicked her gaze over to Nadia and then Morrigan for a moment before refocusing on the noblewoman.

"What incident?" Ildri asked politely.

"Maybe you were already in Ostagar when it happened. I don't think you'd have had much of a chance to speak to anyone from there since Howe had the Purge." Andreina shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this."

"Please, share with me." Ildri's tone was flat, but perhaps Andreina took it for concern and not for the barely-veiled hostility it truly was.

"The nobles have their own version of the events that took place that day – that Vaughan Kendells was just walking through the Alienage or something and the elves attacked him. But you don't need me to tell you that it's not true. The elves are poor and desperate, but not outright stupid." Andreina scoffed. "I heard the true version of events from a family member of one of the young women involved in the incident." _Must have been Valora. She's from Highever too, just like… like Nelaros was._ Andreina then regaled her with a surprisingly accurate version of events, right up until the end. "Mara never did find out what happened to the young woman who saved her daughter from that boor Kendells, however. There was a funeral for Nelaros in the Highever Alienage, even though they didn't have a body to give to the flames. His mother Denira said it was more a memorial than a funeral. Everyone said a few words about him, and she thought it was a lovely event."

"How did Mara and Denira hear about all that? All the way from Denerim to Highever?" Ildri asked quietly.

"Mara's daughter wrote and told her all about it." Andreina explained.

"Valora can _read_? And _write_? Maker's breath, that's such a boon for the Alienage!" Ildri got caught up in her excitement. "She can teach everyone else!" Andreina narrowed her eyes.

"I never mentioned a Valora." The noblewoman's eyes widened in recognition. "That was you? _You're_ the elf that killed Vaughan Kendells?" _Shit fucker. Two more people who know, now._ Ildri glanced over at Zevran. _I swear to the Maker, if there is even a __**hint**__ of pity on that bastard's face…_ There wasn't. His eyes had widened also, but more in what Ildri thought might be respect.

"Yes, I was the young woman engaged to Nelaros." Ildri grumbled, and started spinning Nelaros' ring on her finger, a nervous habit that she'd acquired since wearing it. Andreina's eyes fell to Ildri's hands. "You _cannot_ tell this to anyone else. We will not speak of it in front of Alistair."

"Wait, you told _Sten_ about this?" Nadia asked.

"At Redcliffe." Ildri confirmed.

"What were you doing at Redcliffe? Were there darkspawn?" Andreina cut in. Ildri then launched into her own tale – a summarized, edited version of the events that had taken place since she'd left the Alienage. She left out the particulars of the Joining, as well as Flemeth's rescue. _I could've sworn I heard a dragon on the top of that tower._ She also left out the particulars of how she had convinced the demon to leave Connor Guerrin.

"There are some things I simply cannot tell you, because they are Grey Warden secrets." Ildri said once she'd finished.

"This Warden, Alistair, claims to be King Maric's bastard?" Andreina asked, looking for confirmation.

"He certainly looks enough like Cailan. They have some of the same behaviors. However, while Cailan's version was mostly annoying and aggravating, Alistair's is… not as much. I suspect the Revered Mother at the Chantry he was serving at knew this, and that would explain why she kicked up such a fuss about Duncan taking him. I also think that Cailan was aware of this half-brother of his." Ildri mentioned, and the noblewoman perked right up at hearing that.

"What makes you so sure?" She queried.

"Cailan _insisted_ that Alistair be one of the Wardens to go and light the beacon… away from the battle, and theoretically keeping him safe as well as maintaining the line of succession. You humans and your Theirins." Ildri shook her head. "That would also imply that Cailan was way smarter than he ever let on. That would mean he knew that there was a distinct possibility he would die on that battlefield." Andreina was silent, absorbing the new information provided to her by Ildri.

"If your goal is to wake Eamon from this 'coma' that he's in, he will insist on Alistair taking the throne, whether he wants it or not." She pointed out, and Ildri nodded.

"If Eamon didn't do it, then I would have. Anora is a good queen for humans. Not so much for elves. Or war, apparently."

"I could marry Alistair. With the Cousland and Theirin lines combined, no one in the Landsmeet would argue against it." Andreina murmured, thinking out loud.

"Hold on a second!" Nadia cut in. "You haven't even _met_ him. Now you're planning on _marrying_ him?"

"I'm just coming up with ideas. I'm not saying that we have to have the rest of Alistair's life planned out for him. I am trying to think of what would be the best for Ferelden." Andreina said, trying to calm the dwarven Warden. "Anora doesn't have the Crown Matrimonial. She's only the Queen until the next Landsmeet comes around."

"It's a better idea than trying to sell him on marrying Anora." Ildri pointed out. "For starters, she's the daughter of the man who left us all to die. Secondly, I don't think that Anora would appreciate being married to her dead husband's half-brother. Thirdly, if the rumors about Anora being barren are true, that wouldn't be a good combination for a Warden."

"What do you mean?" Andreina asked. Ildri sighed and rubbed her temples. _Fuck it._

"I won't be telling you _all_ of the Wardens' secrets," Ildri warned her straight away, "but I see no problem in sharing some of them."

"Ildri, you _can't._" Nadia cut in. "They're secrets for a reason."

"I think that they're secrets because some people are stupid." Ildri snapped. "I understand how some things shouldn't be spread around, but think about how differently Ostagar might have gone if Loghain and Cailan had known that the darkspawn would be drawn to the Wardens like moths to a flame!"

"I… that makes sense." Nadia conceded.

"There are some secrets that, in my opinion, _need_ to be shared with the rulers of a country in order to gain their trust." Ildri said quietly, hoping to further sway the dwarf.

"She's not the ruler." Nadia pointed out.

"She could probably claim the throne herself, without Alistair's assistance." Ildri looked over at Andreina for confirmation, and she gave it.

"My father was nearly crowned king when Maric was finally declared dead." Andreina's eyes flashed back and forth between the two Wardens, waiting to see who would win the argument. Nadia lowered her eyes first, silently conceding defeat.

"Wardens have a far lower chance of producing children than the average man or woman. It has something to do with the process of becoming a Warden. Anything more than that, I will not say."

"Fair enough." Andreina nodded. "Thank you for trusting me."

"Right now, it's not trust." Ildri said, raising her hand. "Right now, it's us, and a common goal. It's the steps towards that goal that will define how much we trust one another."

"I say again: fair enough." Andreina smiled broadly. "I think we're going to get along just fine."

* * *

><p>The group of six made their way out of Denerim through the westernmost gates with Nadia leading the way. Since she had been a Warden longer than Ildri, she could sense the taint in Alistair and take them right to him. About half an hour after leaving the city, they arrived at the camp that Alistair and Sten had set up. As it turned out, they had an addition of their own.<p>

"Ladies and assassin," Alistair began, shooting a dry glance at Zevran, "allow me to introduce to you Riordan, Senior Grey Warden of Jader." He gestured dramatically towards an older man with dark hair and mossy green eyes.

"An Orlesian Warden?" Ildri asked. "How did you get past the border?"

"Loghain cannot watch the entire border at one time." Riordan said dryly. He explained that he was Fereldan by birth, he'd been chosen to cross the border and find out what was going on. Cailan had sent no more missives after the battle at Ostagar, and Loghain had turned them away at the border. "I picked up some rumors on the way here. It is ridiculous to think that we, the Grey Wardens, would betray King Cailan to the darkspawn." He scoffed. "I had been on my way to Denerim, hoping that I might be able to do something, when I sensed Alistair here. He has filled me in on what you have been up to so far. You have done well, but there is still much more to do."

"Yes, I agree. I understand that we are supposed to stay politically neutral, but whatever it takes to defeat the Blight, yes?" Ildri asked, and Riordan nodded. "That's why collecting Andreina here was so important. The Cousland line tied to the Theirin line…" Ildri trailed off, smirking at the newcomer.

"Wait, what?" Alistair jerked his head around. "You're talking about making me the king again, aren't you?"

"Of course we are, nitwit." Ildri said, jabbing him with a finger. "Anora doesn't have the Crown Matrimonial. She's only the Queen as long as the Landsmeet _lets_ her be Queen."

"So? What does that have to do with marriage?" Alistair spluttered.

"You grew up in a _stable_, Alistair. No one in the Landsmeet is ever going to think that you have the brains to run the country. That's why the marriage is so important. They see you as a descendant of King Calenhad. They see Andreina as reassurance that the country won't collapse." Ildri snapped.

"We still haven't discussed the fact that half the country probably believes whatever cock-and-bull story Howe cooked up as an excuse to attack Highever." Andreina pointed out. "They'll probably laugh me out of the Chambers if I try to call a Landsmeet."

"Then we'll wake up Eamon. How hard can getting these Ashes really be, anyway?" Ildri asked, smirking.

* * *

><p><strong>Panahedan – 'take refuge in safety'<strong>

**Crown Matrimonial – a stipulation set out so that a monarch's spouse can rule after his or her death.**

* * *

><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading! <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**There is a reference within this chapter to child soldiers/children's deaths. Figured I'd post that up here as an FYI.**

* * *

><p>"Well. We made it." Ildri announced. "According to the map, Haven's not too far from where we are right now. Another couple hours, tops." Ildri's abilities with the written word had grown quickly. Once Morrigan had begun teaching her, it was as though the witch couldn't teach her fast enough. <em>I wonder how hard it would be to learn to read, write and speak other languages?<em>

"We don't know what's up there. Perhaps we should make camp for the night." Riordan suggested, stealing the words right out of her mouth. Ever since the older Warden had joined the group, he had been assuming command of their party, and it grated on Ildri's nerves. It was just small things – suggestions here and there, like the one he'd just made. Since they had nearly all been things that she herself had been about to say, Ildri hadn't taken him to task for it yet. She was waiting on him to cross the line, and try to assume direct command. When he did, she'd be ready for him. The other members of their merry little band still looked to her before carrying out any of his such suggestions, which made her feel slightly better about traveling with him. As they set up camp, Ildri studied the others in their party. Nadia and Zevran had grown close – a little too close, had it been herself, but to each their own. Andreina and Alistair had hit it off right away. Until he remembered that this was the woman he was, for all intents and purposes, engaged to, and he would turn scarlet and walk off all awkward-like. Thankfully, Andreina thought it was absolutely adorable how easily flustered he was. Ildri glared over at Alistair, and when he saw her eyes on him he smiled nervously and walked in another direction. While she'd been in Denerim collecting Andreina, Alistair had taken it upon himself to entertain her mabari. While he claimed it had been an accident, Ildri couldn't believe that naming him something so idiotic as 'Barkspawn' had been accidental. Now the dog wouldn't answer to anything else, no matter how hard she tried. Save for that little incident, she and Alistair had come to terms with one another. They would never be friends, but now they could talk to one another without fighting like cats and dogs. Most of the time, anyway. Andreina was actually rather easy to get along with, much to Ildri's surprise. She wasn't at all like the other nobles she'd heard about from others in the Alienage. Ildri shook her head and set up her tent while keeping an eye out for Riordan. She didn't fully trust him. _I think I trust __**Zevran**__ more than I trust Riordan._ Part of that, however, might have had something to do with the fact that the elven assassin had saved her life a few days before. One of the new pieces of 'reading material' from Ignacio had told them about a group of Qunari mercenaries. Ildri blanched, remembering Sten's anger at that description.

"They are _**not**_ Qunari. They are Tal-Vashoth. They have abandoned the Qun." Ildri had quickly apologized for her error, but he hadn't been mad at her, for which she was extremely grateful. He had been upset with whatever 'basra vashedan' had made the mistake. It had been one of their most difficult fights, even with three more bodies fighting with them. The Tal-Vashoth had shared Sten's height, his odd skin and eye coloring as well as his skill in fighting, but that was where the similarities ended. They'd had horns. Well, some of them did. On others, one could see where they'd once been, but had been removed. Ildri had been knocked to the ground by one of the Tal-Vashoth mercenaries, but Zevran had snuck in and finished him off before the merc could deliver the final blow. Ildri shook her head and focused on setting up her tent. When she was finished, she stretched and cracked her back before studying the camp. There was a fire going, and Andreina was working on preparing a meal. At first, she had been astounded by the amount of food the four Grey Wardens consumed, but she had chalked it up to 'just another one of your peculiarities', to use the noblewoman's words. Ildri wandered off to collect more firewood, and found Sten doing the same thing.

"Hey." She greeted him, smiling up at him.

"Shanedan." He replied, nodding.

"I have a question for you." Ildri began cautiously, hoping she wasn't about to offend him.

"I am hardly surprised."

"When we ran into those Tal-Vashoth mercs, I noticed something. Some of them had horns, and others… it looks like they had theirs removed."

"I know what Tal-Vashoth is, but I do not know 'mercs'."

"It's just a shortening of the word 'mercenaries'." Ildri explained. "But why did they have – or used to have – horns, but you don't?"

"There are some Qunari born without horns. The Tal-Vashoth seek to frighten their enemies with their appearance, so they remove their horns."

"I found the ones with their horns intact to be much more intimidating." Ildri confessed. "It's very unnerving." Silence fell between them for a while as the pair of them gathered wood. "Are children – no, that's not the word you used… imekari?" Ildri asked, probably mangling the pronunciation.

"Im-ek-ir-ee." He pronounced the word slowly, drawing out the sounds.

"Yes, thank you. Are they born with horns, or do they come in later?"

"They come in later, as the imekari grow. It would probably kill the female who bore the child if they were born with them." Sten pointed out.

"Yes, that makes sense. I can't believe I didn't think of that myself." Ildri scoffed. _That was a dumb question. Idiot._ The two of them made their way back to the camp and placed their loads near the fire. Andreina smiled up at her, and Ildri gave her a small smile in return. She then sought out Morrigan, and the two of them worked on Ildri's writing skills until the meal was ready. After they had eaten, Ildri was going to spar with Sten, but Riordan called for a 'Warden meeting'.

"I need to know how much the three of you actually know about being Grey Wardens." The four of them had retreated from the main campsite so they could speak freely.

"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" Nadia suggested. "If you assume that we know nothing, then you'll know that when you're finished we'll know everything."

"Very well." Riordan nodded. "Grey Wardens live far shorter lives than they would have otherwise. The average is thirty years before the taint consumes us, but that is not always the case. Some Wardens last longer, while others have less time. One's Calling begins with a marked increase in nightmares, and if the Warden does not…expire soon enough, the taint will turn you. You will become a ghoul. While tradition has us travelling to the Deep Roads to meet our ends, I would not suggest that for the two of you." He gestured to Ildri and Nadia.

"Why not?" Ildri asked, and Riordan sighed.

"The darkspawn breeding process requires females from other races. We don't know whether or not Grey Wardens can become broodmothers, but I suspect that neither of you wish to find out for yourselves."

"So, all of the female soldiers from Ostagar…" Nadia murmured.

"Are most likely broodmothers at this time." Riordan finished for her. "That is why we try not to recruit female Grey Wardens. There are usually no more than a handful of them at each Warden outpost across Thedas."

"That's… disgusting." Ildri glanced over at Nadia. "I'll watch your back if you watch mine." She offered, and the dwarven woman nodded, her face pale.

"The nightmares of the Archdemon are true dreams – what you see in them is actually happening somewhere. This is one of the ways that the Archdemon communicates with the horde. Some of the older Grey Wardens – myself included – can understand some of what is being said. Some younger Wardens can, usually elves."

"Why is that?" Ildri asked, remembering her own discussions with Urthemiel.

"No one knows for sure. Some think that because your ancestors all possessed magic at one point, it makes you far more receptive to the Fade and magic. The Archdemon is inarguably one of the most magical creatures ever to have existed." Riordan paused a moment before continuing. "The taint renders us almost entirely infertile – two Grey Wardens together, without assistance, will never bear a child. It is slightly easier with a Warden and a non-Warden couple, but it is not without its own difficulties." Riordan turned to Alistair. "If you do become the king, I would recommend that you keep a mage on at all times: one that is skilled in healing. A Spirit Healer, if you can manage it. There is a small chance, with a Warden as the father, that the child might be tainted. A healer can dispel the taint while the child is in the womb."

"What if the mother is a Warden?" Nadia asked.

"The chances of a child being tainted are far higher. You will not be able to nurse your child. But again, having a skilled healer on hand can prevent the child from being tainted. With a non-Warden mother the taint will only need to be cleansed from the womb once, but with a Warden mother, the taint can resurface, again and again."

"So that means lots of contraceptive tea for you." Ildri teased the dwarf, who sighed dramatically.

"You have all likely seen the benefits of the taint already." Riordan continued. "The increased stamina, and with it, the increased appetite, as well as sensing both each other and the darkspawn."

"I'm still too new for sensing Wardens, apparently." Ildri confessed. "Nadia led us back to the camp from Denerim."

"That will come in time." Riordan reassured her. "As you saw at Ostagar, the darkspawn can sense us as well. During a Blight, they will come after us relentlessly, but during the Thaw, and other non-Blight times, they treat us much the same as others. But if a Warden enters the Deep Roads outside of a Blight, they will be drawn to you out of curiosity. They might not attack you, if you are not a female. They will always attempt to capture females, Blight or no."

"What's a Thaw?" Ildri asked. "I haven't heard that term before."

"That is the period after the end of a Blight, when the 'spawn are still on the surface. Even without the Archdemon to guide and lead them, they will continue to wreak havoc upon the surface. The longer a Blight lasts, the longer its Thaw will last. You will still see blighted land, animals, and food for some time afterwards, and it will all need to be cleansed with fire. Perhaps the snow and cold will help as well."

"What do you mean 'perhaps'?" Alistair asked.

"Ferelden is the southernmost lands ever effected by a Blight. We do not know what will happen after winter comes."

"How do we cleanse the land with fire? Wouldn't that be difficult?" Ildri pointed out.

"Lands with standing crops will be easiest. Set fire to the crops, and hope it does not rain too soon. Do not, under any circumstances, allow blighted food to be eaten – any who consume it will become a ghoul. Hope and pray that the darkspawn stay away from your forests, because any wood that has been blighted will be worthless. Burn it, and do not cook anything over the flames. When a non-Warden comes into contact with enough of the taint, they will become a ghoul. You need to warn your companions of this. They must not touch any of the darkspawn corpses with bare hands, and wash off any blood as soon as they possibly can. A wound made with a darkspawn weapon, if not treated properly, will turn them. The only way to 'save' a ghoul is with the Joining potion or a merciful death. Any female ghouls will eventually make their way to the darkspawn."

"What about lands that don't have crops? Like the Imperial Highway?" Alistair asked.

"That is where the Circle of Magi will be incredibly helpful. While the stones themselves cannot be tainted, they will still need to be gone over carefully with fire. Any speck of grass or moss growing will carry the taint." Riordan paused, perhaps waiting for more questions. "Last but not least, there is the issue of the Archdemon. You will all have heard how the Wardens are the only ones who can defeat the Archdemon, but perhaps not _why_."

"Something to do with the taint. It must be." Nadia said, and Riordan nodded.

"Yes, that is exactly what it is. If any but a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon, its essence will travel to the closest tainted body – typically a darkspawn – and it is born anew."

"So if a Warden, someone who bears the taint, kills the Archdemon, they will be closest." Ildri pointed out. "The Archdemon's essence will be drawn into the Warden."

"Yes. But the difference being that Grey Wardens have souls. The Archdemon's essence and the Warden's soul cannot exist within the same body. Their struggle destroys them both."

"The Grey Warden that kills the Archdemon… dies?" Alistair asked quietly.

"That is the only way to kill the Archdemon, I'm afraid." Riordan replied. "During times of Blight, the most Senior Wardens, the ones closest to their Calling, decide amongst themselves who will strike the final blow. As I am the most senior here, that duty falls to me."

"And if you can't?" Ildri asked. "There are so many variables here. What if you die before then? What if you're not where the Archdemon is? It's not like we can postpone a fight with a _dragon_ if you're not around."

"It is true that we cannot plan for every contingency. That is why I am telling you this now, and not later. You must be cautious."

"Can't we make more Wardens?" Nadia asked.

"Do we really want to?" Ildri asked in turn. "Do we really want to make a bunch of new Wardens, only to tell them that they were asked to join so they could die?"

"These are both fair points." Riordan broke in. "But I do not know. The supplies for creating the Joining potion are in the Warden compound in Denerim –"

"Alistair, Nadia." Ildri interrupted, looking at the pair of them. "Why didn't you point out that there is a Warden compound while we were in Denerim?"

"Because it's attached to the palace." Alistair informed her. "It would have been suicidal for us to try and go anywhere near it. Loghain's going to have his best people watching the place, especially since he knows that there are still Wardens in Ferelden."

"He's right, Ildri." Nadia said softly.

"Damn it all to the _fucking_ void." Ildri growled. "I understand why you didn't tell me, but I'd have appreciated knowing anyway." She tried to take the bite out of her words, so that they would see she wasn't mad at them. Considering the dirty look she got from Alistair, Ildri suspected that she'd failed in that regard. She sighed before turning back to Riordan. "Is there anything else that you think we've missed?"

"No, I think not." He shook his head. "The three of you have a lot to take in. If you have any more questions, I'd ask that you talk to me privately about them." They made their way back to camp in silence, the Wardens absorbed in their own thoughts.

* * *

><p>By midmorning the next day, the group reached Haven. There was a guard posted at the top of the hill leading into the village, and he stopped them.<p>

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" He demanded.

"My name is Ildri Tabris, and these are my companions."

"What are you doing here? There is nothing for you in Haven." The guard pressed.

"We are looking into the disappearance of one Brother Genitivi. He was researching Andraste's Urn of Sacred Ashes." Riordan cut in, and Ildri shot a glare his way.

"I do not know this Brother Genitivi, and everyone knows that the Ashes are nothing more than a legend." The guard informed them. "You may trade for supplies at the general goods store, but then you must leave." Ildri nodded to the guard, then led the group into the village. Haven itself was part of the Frostback Mountain range, and had a few hills. There were a few houses on each hill, and the slopes had a couple stone steps wedged into them. The store was located on the second hill.

"Who are you? You're not from Haven." The man behind the shop's counter informed her.

"I know." Ildri said tightly. "What can you tell me about the village?"

"Haven is Haven." He replied with a shrug. "How would you describe the place you only know as home?"

"Do you have anything to trade?" She asked.

"There are a few things, but I can't sell you any food. Winter's long in the mountains." They picked up a few things before heading back out to the village.

"There's something off about this place." Ildri confided to the others.

"On that we can agree." Riordan said, nodding.

"I think that we should explore the village some more. They've got to have a mayor or something, maybe we can get some answers from them." Ildri reasoned. They continued to explore the village, making their way up the last set of stone steps, which led to a Chantry.

"Does anyone else hear that?" Andreina asked. "It sounds like people are singing in there." She gestured towards the building.

"I wonder if that's where we'll find our village-leader-person-thingy." Ildri murmured.

"Only one way to find out." Riordan stepped forward and opened the doors.

"…we are blessed beyond measure; we are chosen by the Holy and Beloved to be Her guardians." There was an older man on the far side of the building, leading the villagers in some sort of prayer.

"It looks like we're interrupting their services." Ildri said.

"At least let them finish." Andreina implored her, and the elf rolled her eyes, but didn't step further into the building.

"This sacred duty is given to us alone; rejoice, my brethren, and prepare your hearts to receive Her." The man lifted his head and raised his hand. "Lift up your voices and despair not, for She will raise Her faithful servants to glory when Her –" He stopped speaking and glared across the room at the newcomers.

"Does that count as a 'finish'?" Ildri asked the noblewoman.

"I understand that you are new here, but common courtesy dictates that one shouldn't interrupt." The man called out to them. The other villagers hadn't noticed them yet, and now turned around to look at them.

"There was no need to end the sermon." Andreina told him. "We didn't want to interrupt, we were waiting."

"It is better this way." The man shook his head. "Many of us are uncomfortable in the presence of strangers."

"We were looking for the village leader." Ildri said. "We need to speak with whoever is in charge."

"_Whom_ever." Morrigan hissed from behind her.

"You have found him." The man gestured for them to come forward. "I am Revered Father Eirik. What did you wish to speak of?"

"Revered _Father_?" Andreina asked incredulously. "Only female priests are supposed to be ordained."

"Haven has always had Revered Fathers." One of the villagers said. "It has always been this way."

"We are not here to tell you how to run your village," Ildri said quickly, shooting a glare Andreina's way, "we are merely here searching for someone. Has a Brother Ferdinand Genitivi passed through the village at all?"

"You will not find what you seek here." Eirik said. "Outsiders do not linger here."

"I asked if he had been here, not if he still was." Ildri pointed out. "He was researching Andraste's Urn of Sacred Ashes, and that somehow led him here. I need to find him."

"This, my friends, is why we do not suffer outsiders." Eirik gestured towards Ildri. "I told you that others would come, did I not? Outsiders bring change in their wake, and we cannot have that, can we?" A quick glance around the room showed Ildri that the villagers were pressing closer to their group. "You understand a man's need to protect his family, don't you?" He asked her. "My children! You know what must be done." Eirik took a step back and picked up a staff that had been leaning against a bookshelf. Ildri had assumed it was nothing more than a walking stick, so she was surprised to see him readying a spell.

"Alistair! Smite his ass!" Ildri shouted, drawing her weapons. As Alistair prepared his Smite, the villagers around them leapt into motion. They were armed with crude weapons, but attacked with gusto. Some of the others seemed a bit leery of cutting down barely-armed villagers, but Ildri showed no such compunction, striking down any that raised a weapon against her. She had let her guard down, and was rewarded for it when something clamped down on her arm from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to find herself looking nearly eye-to-eye with a serpentine creature. _What the fuck…?_

"Dragons!" Morrigan shouted.

"A little late for that!" Alistair shouted back. The dragon had grabbed her sword arm, and Ildri didn't think she'd be able to yank her arm from its mouth without seriously injuring herself. She swung at it with her dagger, but it was awkward as well as too far out of her reach. Just as she was about to call for help, the creature yanked, and Ildri fell, a shriek torn from her lips. She landed on her left side and was being held up by her arm that was still in the dragon's mouth. The dragon began to pull her away, but Sten ran over and swung his sword. Ildri's arm fell to the floor, dragon head still attached.

"Thanks. A little longer, and I would've been dragon food." She smirked up at him. Sten shook his head and knelt beside her, inspecting her arm.

"The beasts have large teeth, and there are many… I do not know the word in your tongue. The tubes in your body that deliver blood. There are many of these in your arm. I will not be able to remove the head alone, and someone will need to bandage your arm quickly." He explained, and Ildri nodded.

"I don't know that I'll be able to bandage it left-handed." She lifted her head and inspected her other companions. It looked as though she'd been the most wounded in their scuffle, but they'd not managed it completely unscathed. Zevran was bandaging a wound on Nadia's upper arm, and Andreina was tending to Alistair. "Riordan! Morrigan!" Ildri called out. "Sten can't do this one alone." The two of them walked over, and Sten explained the situation to them.

"I will assist Sten in removing the head." Riordan volunteered, and Ildri nodded.

"This will be not be pleasant, Ildri." Morrigan warned her.

"I figured that." Ildri replied. "I'd just appreciate it if we could get this thing off me as soon as we can."

"You will need to remain still." Morrigan informed her.

"Morrigan…." Ildri looked up into the woman's eyes, hoping the witch could read the plea written in them. _Get this damn thing **off **me! _Apparently she did, because she turned to talk to Sten and Riordan.

"I will begin above the wound. As I bind it, lift carefully. These are only dragonlings, but they will still have serrated teeth."

"Can you not heal it as we lift it?" Riordan asked.

"I will heal what I can once the wound is bound. We cannot have her bleeding out as I heal that which I can."

"Wait, these fuckers have _serrated teeth_?" Ildri groaned. "Maker's _balls._" They ignored her remark as they set to work. Morrigan asked Sten to carry Ildri to a chair, and Riordan dragged a table over so she could rest her arm. Sten then lifted Ildri as though she didn't weigh a thing. She rested her head on his chest for a moment, forgetting that he was covered in blood. Sten cautiously lowered her into the chair then took a step back. _I didn't know he could be so…gentle. Ha, the gentle giant._ Riordan stepped around to take the weight of the head still attached to her arm.

"Hold a moment." Morrigan said, stepping forward. She placed a hand on Ildri's right shoulder, and the elf hissed in pain. "'Tis as I thought. The shoulder is dislocated." Morrigan clicked her tongue in vexation. Ildri went to lift her arm to rest it on the table, but the pain in her shoulder stopped her.

"Foolish elf!" Morrigan snapped. "It must be relocated before you can move it!"

"Then let's get it fixed, so we can get this piece of shit off my arm." Ildri gestured towards her arm. When Morrigan didn't move, Sten growled something at her and stepped forward. He knelt in front of her and put one hand on either arm.

"One, two," he quickly jerked her right arm up and forward, and Ildri cried out.

"What the fuck happened to 'three'?" Ildri groaned.

"That was when you expected it, so I did it earlier." Ildri glared up at him. _Is he __**smirking**__ at me? Well, his version of a smirk, maybe…_ Sten stood and moved to the front side of the table, across from Riordan, and Morrigan stood in front of her.

"Begin." Morrigan commanded. The two men placed their hands on the dragon's head – Sten's on the top, and Riordan's underneath – and they pulled. Ildri's eyes closed and her body tensed, and her left hand wrapped around the lip of the chair and squeezed for all she was worth.

"You're not going to clean it first?" She heard Riordan ask.

"Keep your mind on your task!" Morrigan snapped. The bandage was wrapped around Ildri's arm and Morrigan tugged to make it bind tighter. Ildri jumped a little, and a moment after found that she couldn't move from the shoulders down.

"Morrigan?" She asked, a slight waver in her voice.

"Paralysis spell." The witch explained quickly. "I cannot have you leaping about as I attempt to bandage the wound. Again." The last word was directed towards her assistants, and Ildri was unable to stifle a small cry of pain as the dragonling's elongated front teeth came out of her arm.

"I guess that means the end of this jacket." Ildri quipped, trying for humor.

"'Tis a good thing, then, that there will be plenty about to replace this with." Morrigan replied. "Again." The bandage was wound tightly to her arm, and Ildri sagged against the chair as Morrigan's spell ended. Ildri opened her eyes and glared balefully at the dragonling's head.

"I want that bastard's teeth." She grumbled, and Morrigan chuckled.

"You want a second souvenir of your encounter?" She asked, and Ildri raised a brow. "This will scar. I will heal what I can of the torn flesh within your arm. That is the most important, is it not?"

"I don't care how many scars it leaves, as long as my arm works later." Ildri replied. Morrigan's hands filled with a blue light as she ran them down Ildri's arm.

"I do not think that 'later' would be in your best interests." Morrigan began cautiously. "The dislocation combined with the removal of the teeth has inflicted a great deal of damage to your body. I am doing what I can for your injuries, but sleep would be the best remedy."

"How injured is everyone else?" Ildri asked.

"You were the most grievously injured." Riordan informed her.

"Any sign of Genitivi?" She pressed.

"Nothing yet." Zevran said as he sauntered over. "However, I suspect that will not be the case for long."

"Have you found anything?"

"I think that there may be a hidden chamber. The outside of the building does not match up with the inside." The assassin informed her.

"How's Nadia?" She asked quietly.

"A flesh wound." Zevran replied. "Barely a scratch."

"All right. You two go work on that hidden room." Zevran nodded and walked back over to the dwarf.

"Alistair, Andreina, and Riordan." The three of them were among the least injured. "I want the three of you to go outside and see if the other villagers are as psycho as these ones. If you can talk them down and get them to leave us alone, then fine. If you can't, then they need to be dealt with. Take the dogs with you, they should be able to sniff out anyone that you might miss." Barkspawn and Amber were more than happy to leave the Chantry. "If you do end up having to slaughter the entire village, bring up whatever foodstuffs you can find." Andreina blanched at Ildri's choice of words, but she nodded and led Alistair out of the Chantry. Riordan paused, his gaze lingering on Ildri for a moment, but he, too, left the Chantry.

"That one may be more trouble than he is worth." Morrigan murmured.

"I agree. But until then, it doesn't hurt to have another body fighting with us." Ildri replied.

"If you do not object, I will keep an eye out for him." She offered, and Ildri nodded.

"Sounds good. I can't keep an eye on him all the time anyway." Ildri rose from the chair and stretched her arm, wincing slightly. "Thank you. Both of you." Ildri said, looking from Sten to Morrigan.

"No thanks for your fellow Grey Warden?" Morrigan asked, a smirk on her lips.

"I don't trust him." Ildri murmured, shaking her head. "He just fell into our laps back there at Denerim. There's something suspicious about the whole damn thing."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so." Nadia piped up.

"Andraste's fucking tits, Nadia." Ildri swore. "Make some bleeding _noise_ when you walk, please." The dwarf laughed.

"Zevran and I found something. It looks like a secret panel, but there's a big shelf in front of it." She smiled up at Sten. "You wanna lend a hand, big boy?" Sten gestured for the dwarf to lead the way, and the four of them crossed the room. Nadia pointed out the shelf, and Sten quickly moved it. Zevran and Nadia then moved in, poking at certain spots on the wall and muttering back and forth to each other before the door finally opened. The air exiting the room was stale, and stank of human waste.

"Maker, that stinks." Ildri pinched her nose.

"Smells like home." Nadia said airily before stepping into the room. Morrigan summoned a pair of wisps, then the others followed her in.

"Who are you? You don't look like residents of Haven." Ildri spun towards the source of the voice. A human man was lying on the floor near one of the corners of the room.

"Are you Brother Ferdinand Genitivi?" Ildri asked.

"Yes, but you haven't answered my question."

"Morrigan, some more light?" Ildri looked over her shoulder at the witch, who nodded. She located a hearth and threw a handful of flames into it, brightening the room considerably. Ildri turned back to Genitivi. "My name is Ildri Tabris. Right here, we have Nadia Brosca, Zevran Arainai, Morrigan of the Wilds, and Sten of the Beresaad." She pointed out each of her companions in turn. "I've been looking for you, and for the Urn."

"Thank the Maker. I thought I was going to die in here." Genitivi groaned as he sat up.

"Are you injured?" Ildri pressed.

"My leg's not doing very well, and…and I can't feel my foot." The man sighed. Ildri looked over at Morrigan, who rolled her eyes before checking on Genitivi.

"There is nothing I can do for him at the moment, not 'til my mana replenishes." Morrigan began prodding his leg and foot. "The foot _will_ have to go. There is nothing that I could do, even if I did not need to wait. 'Tis gangrenous."

"Won't lyrium help you replenish your mana?" Nadia asked. "I heard that's why the Chantry guys were the only ones allowed to buy it."

"'Twould indeed. However, our own stores of lyrium are dreadfully low. The man Eirik was a mage, perhaps he had some on hand."

"The two of you go work on that. Look around, see if there's anything else useful." Ildri nodded at Zevran and Nadia. "If you find lyrium, one of you bring it back immediately."

"While they do that," Morrigan said, rising from the floor, "we shall take a look at your wound."

"Hang on a moment." Ildri waved her off. "I'll get something for Genitivi to eat. Looks like he hasn't had a decent meal in ages."

"That would be much appreciated." Genitivi said, a smile on his face.

"Then I've got some questions for you. I want to know what the fuck is going on around here." After Ildri had given him something to eat, Morrigan waved her over.

"I do not have a saw," the witch murmured, "and if we were to use a battle axe, 'twould possibly shatter the bone nearest the foot into miniscule pieces. They would be difficult, to say the least, to remove."

"Let's pretend, for a moment, that you actually did have a saw. What would you do?" Ildri asked. Morrigan didn't reply right away; she gestured for Ildri to extend her arm, and she did.

"I would first use a spell to put him to sleep." Morrigan said, unwrapping Ildri's bandage. "I would then put flames upon the edge of the hypothetical saw."

"That would cauterize it as you cut." Ildri murmured. "Smart."

"Indeed. Without a saw, however, 'tis merely conjecture."

"Would freezing the foot help? I've seen people's limbs fall off after too much exposure to the cold."

"The limb merely falling off would not be of any help." Morrigan shook her head.

"But would that make it easier to remove it?" Ildri pressed.

"Perhaps." The bandage was removed, and Ildri stood to take off her jacket. Her shoulder was still slightly tender, so it took her a bit longer than usual. She then rolled up the sleeve of her tunic, and got her first look at the wound. The wound was located on her upper arm, and started just below the shoulder, getting narrower down her arm and stopping just above her elbow.

"Damn." Ildri breathed, and Morrigan chuckled.

"They nearly pierced the width of your arm." The witch informed her. Thanks to Morrigan's healing, however, the wounds appeared to be at least a week old instead of an hour.

"I am _definitely_ grabbing that shit head's teeth before we leave."

"Maker's breath." Ildri looked over at Genitivi. "What in Thedas did _that_?"

"Dragonling." Ildri replied. "Eat up. Here." Ildri tossed him a water skin. "We're waiting on a couple others to come back, and I don't want to go over the same information again and again because they missed it."

"That's understandable." He picked up the skin and drank hungrily.

"There is simply not enough light in here, Ildri. We need to return to the central chamber." Morrigan said loudly. With the look Morrigan was directing at her, Ildri knew that there was something else she wanted to say, but didn't want to in their current company.

"Lead on, my friend." Ildri gestured towards the door. The pair of them left the small side room and retreated to the table where the dragonling's head was sitting. "What's up?" Ildri asked once they'd both sat down.

"Is it truly… _necessary_, for him to survive this encounter?" Morrigan asked, softly and slowly. "There is no way to ensure that he will survive our tender care, even if we were to locate the required equipment. I also do not believe that performing the surgery would be a wise use for our grossly depleted supplies of lyrium."

"I understand what you're saying." Ildri replied immediately. "I actually agree with you, in part. But we won't be able to sell that to Andreina." She pointed out, and Morrigan scowled. "We _need_ her. We can't afford to have her run off. I'll compromise with you. If they can't locate a saw, we won't do it. Not unless she or Alistair wants to try wielding a battle axe to get it done. If they can, or will, then we'll do the best we can."

"That is… acceptable." Morrigan allowed. "Then we shall do this your way."

"But we won't be trying anything until he's answered all of our questions. That's non-negotiable. We can't sit around with our thumbs up our asses waiting for him to recover from a surgery. That could take days." Ildri's lips curled into a small smirk. "And if he should… expire… from his injuries, or even the trauma of the surgery, if it comes to that, we can't be blamed for it."

"_You_ can explain that part to them." Morrigan informed her, smirking. "She may see through it, I do not know the woman well enough to be sure. 'Tis highly unlikely, however, that the bastard will know without someone guiding him through it. I do not believe that the others much care, one way or the other."

"I'm thinking the same thing." Ildri agreed. Movement in the corner of her eye caught Ildri's attention, and she looked over her shoulder to see Zevran and Nadia approaching.

"We found lyrium, as well as _loads_ of books. I think that most of them are about Andraste, history, and dragons." Nadia said as she approached the table.

"I shall need a pot, a wooden bowl, clean linen, and new bandages." Morrigan informed them. Zevran inclined his head and went to procure the items for her, and Nadia grabbed a chair and dragged it over to their table.

"What's going on with Chantry man?" She asked.

"He's eating at the moment. We're waiting on the others to get here before we start asking him anything." Ildri explained. The words had scarcely left her mouth before the Chantry doors flung open, and a pair of mabari ran inside to greet them all, followed by Andreina and the other two Wardens. Judging by the amount of supplies the three of them were carrying, Ildri assumed that they'd needed to slaughter the entire village.

"How'd it go?" Nadia asked.

"They refused to allow us safe passage." Riordan answered softly.

"Even the children." Andreina nearly sobbed. "Maker's breath, even the _children_ attacked us." Ildri glanced at Riordan. Considering the dirty glares he received from time to time from either Alistair or Andreina, she guessed that he'd been the one to… take care of the children.

"That must have been horrible." Nadia breathed. Ildri remained silent, knowing that the pair wouldn't appreciate her sentiments. _It sucks that it had to happen, but I would've done it too. _

"Your arm appears to be better." Riordan commented, gesturing towards Ildri's arm.

"Very much so, thanks to Morrigan." She replied, eager to change the subject. "We found Genitivi," she nodded towards the small door, "but there's something we should talk about before you see him." Ildri allowed Morrigan to explain his condition.

"…without a saw, however, the only way to amputate the limb 'twould be with a battle axe."

"What happens if it doesn't come off?" Alistair asked.

"'Tis fatal if left untreated." Morrigan replied. "Furthermore, amputation does not, and _will_ not, fully ensure recovery."

"What do you mean?" Andreina queried.

"'Tis an affliction of the blood. Whilst removing the offending appendage would grant him greater prospects for recovery, there is no way to prove that he has healed other than a lack of relapse. If it did, in fact, return, and were left untreated, 'twould be a ghastly way to expire."

"I did see a few saws down there, but they're bow saws, for cutting down trees and sawing logs. Using one of those would require two people." Alistair explained.

"We could always ask his opinion." Andreina suggested. "Let it be his choice. It's his foot, after all, and his life that will be impacted by the loss of it." Zevran had returned with Morrigan's requested items, but had waited for a lull in conversation before approaching. He put the pot and the bowl on the table, but handed Morrigan the linen and bandage.

"I need water." Morrigan extended her hand, waiting for someone to hand her a skin. Andreina offered hers, and the witch emptied it into the pot before handing it back. She held the pot in one hand and summoned a handful of fire in the other.

"I thought your mana needed to restore itself?" Alistair accused.

"The Brother will not miss the amount necessary to heat a pot of water, Alistair." She snapped. "And there is more lyrium on hand than I'd first thought. Do not concern yourself; should he choose to undergo surgery, I will be more than able to do it." She poured the warmed water into the bowl and handed Ildri the piece of linen. "While you need not worry for infection, 'twould still be best if you cleaned the wound before 'tis wrapped once more."

"I think Andreina has a good point." Ildri said as she cleaned her wound. "It's not really our choice."

"I think we're missing an option. What about the Urn?" Alistair asked.

"What about the Urn?" Ildri asked in turn.

"Couldn't we hold off doing the surgery until we return and heal him with some of the Ashes?" Alistair looked around at their companions.

"And what happens if the Urn turns out to be nothing more than a legend, and the infection has advanced to the point where everything below the knee has to go?" Ildri pointed out. "Or if we come back with the Ashes and he's died of his wounds?"

"I just think that we should tell him about that option, too." Alistair replied.

"He's been searching for the bloody thing for Maker _knows_ how long. He's probably thought of that himself by now." Ildri wiped the last of the sweat and grime from her arm and deposited the linen in the bowl.

"Fair point." Alistair sighed. "Well, now that we're all here, should we go talk to him?"

"I don't know that there's enough room in there for all of us at once." Ildri replied. "Maybe we should try and bring him out here. He'd probably enjoy not being cooped up in there anymore." Morrigan beckoned towards Ildri, and she offered the woman her arm.

"Well, while I try and wrangle Sten or Riordan into helping me get Genitivi out here, does someone want to work on getting some food together?" Alistair pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning against, and glanced over at Riordan.

"You and I would have a much easier time than either of us and Sten." Riordan said, smirking. "The height difference would throw us off."

"Whose turn is it to cook?" Nadia asked.

"Yours!" Ildri replied. One of Morrigan's fingers brushed the underside of her arm, and she pulled away from it. "That tickled!" She explained to Morrigan's raised brow.

"It was my turn last night." Nadia groused.

"You know the rule – if you ask, you cook." Ildri smiled at the diminutive woman.

"It's a stupid rule." Nadia shot back.

"You only think it's stupid because you're always getting caught up by it. Thanks." Ildri directed the last word to Morrigan, who'd finished tying off Ildri's bandage.

"'Twould appear that you will be receiving a night's rest after all, Ildri." Morrigan smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in." She scoffed. "Your bedside manner is appalling."

"'Tis true." The witch allowed, and Ildri smirked back. The two women looked over at the small door as the two male Wardens carried the Brother out into the main room and sat him down in a rather comfortable-looking chair that Zevran had scrounged up.

"Thank you kindly." Genitivi sighed as he relaxed in the chair. "I was rather tired of staring at the same four walls, day in and day out."

"You met two of the people we were waiting on." Ildri informed him. "Blonde is Alistair, dark is Riordan, and the pair of them are Wardens as well. That's Andy," Ildri had remembered at the last moment that she'd asked to _not_ be referred to as Andreina, "and that's Amber and Barkspawn."

"I am quite glad to see that so many people came to find me." Genitivi smiled.

"Sorry, but I can't honestly tell you that we came here just to find you. We need the Urn for Arl Eamon Guerrin." Ildri admitted. "But now that we're all here, I'd like you to tell us everything you know about the Urn, the village of Haven, and these stupid, Maker-forsaken _dragons._"

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><p><strong>Basra vashedan – lit. 'foreign trash'<strong>

**Shanedan – lit. 'I'll hear you'. Respectful greeting.**

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><p><strong>With help from both simison and Kal-El Fornia, I'm re-writing my chapters. Thanks for reading! <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to FalconHawk, CJCforlife, Unorthodox119, and kpwolf12for the faves/follows/reviews!**

**This chapter goes into detail about medieval surgery, FYI.**

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><p>"I have been conducting research into the Urn of Sacred Ashes for some time now." Genitivi began speaking, and Ildri decided to begin prying and cutting the teeth out of the head of the dragonling who'd chomped on her as he spoke. "The Chantry refused to support my research, claiming it was heretical. I actually came across the location of the village by pure luck. I'd always assumed that the temple the Urn resided in would be lost to time and abandoned. Completely by accident, I came across an unrelated document that mentioned a village called Haven – a hundred-year-old log of the Denerim Chantry's business transactions. In it was an account of a dwarven merchant who had failed to deliver some goods from Orzammar that had already been paid for. There was a blizzard, and his caravan was driven off the path. They eventually came across a small human village that was not marked on any map."<p>

"Haven." Ildri interjected, and he nodded.

"Exactly. The trader tried to gain entry to take refuge from the storm. Unfortunately, they were turned away and had to take refuge in a cave. When the merchant woke up the next morning, everyone, and everything, was gone. He managed to find the road again and made it to Denerim, but he never saw the caravan again."

"What the fuck does that have to do with the Urn?" Ildri asked.

"Not much." He admitted. "But it became clear, from the dwarf's story, that this village would be near the temple."

"No it didn't." Ildri argued. "There is absolutely _no_ reference to any kind of temple, or anything remotely religious. The only thing that happened was that the caravan disappeared. That's a little odd, I'll grant you, but how do you jump from 'missing caravan', to 'Urn of Sacred Ashes'?"

"Without looking through all of the notes I have compiled, I'll admit that the story appears to have no relevance. But once it's combined with my research, the evidence is irrefutable."

"So… if we weren't even going to understand how they tied in together, why did you just waste our time with that when you could have told us something that was actually relevant?"

"I… perhaps I should have started with something else."

"Yes, you probably should have." Ildri looked around the room at her companions. "Anyone else want to add anything?"

"Yeah, I do." Nadia spoke up from beside the hearth. "Where the sod did you three put all the fresh food?" Riordan went and helped her to locate it, and she began to put together some kind of stew.

"What do you know about the villagers around here?" Ildri asked.

"They call themselves the Disciples of Andraste, and they are very, very devoted. One could even say fanatically so. They must be here to protect the Urn… but they speak of Andraste as though she were still alive."

"Don't know, don't care." Ildri waved a dismissive hand. "They're all fucking nuts." Ildri began to scratch her arm, but Morrigan swatted at her hand. "Oh, yeah. What do you know about dragons? It looked like the villagers had some of them domesticated, and kept them as Thedas' deadliest guard dogs."

"I have heard of groups of people referred to as 'dragon cultists'. They date as far back as the fall of the Old Gods, so far as I can tell. They live in the same area as a high dragon. They supposedly raise her young in exchange for great power. I cannot know if any of this is accurate, however." Genitivi was quick to point out.

"What else can you tell me about dragons?" She pressed.

"High dragons are female. They are nomadic, so they are the ones that are spotted most often. The Nevarran dragon hunters killed so many of them they were thought to be extinct, but a high dragon was seen in Orlais thirty-one years ago, in 8:99 Blessed. That's actually why this is the Dragon Age, and not the Sun Age." Ildri nodded her head, absorbing the new information.

"Perhaps we should let you know about Weylon, your assistant…" Alistair suggested.

"Why? What happened to him?"

"Found his body stuffed in a box." Ildri replied before thinking.

"Tactful much?" Andreina snapped. "You could have broken it to him better than _that_."

"We're all gonna die someday. No point in beating around the bush about it." She shrugged her shoulders. "I think I'm pretty much done with my questions, if anyone else has something they'd like to add." Ildri rose from her seat and walked over to the hearth, where Nadia was already ladling stew into bowls.

After laying down all the options about his foot to Genitivi, he decided to go with the amputation. Ildri volunteered to help Morrigan with the procedure.

"The way I see it, I can't ask you guys to do anything that I'm not willing to do myself." Genitivi was strapped down to a table, then Morrigan cast her Sleep spell on him. Andreina and Alistair had elected to leave the building during the surgery, and were currently ransacking the village for any additional supplies that could be found. Ildri tied a tourniquet above Genitivi's knee to cut off the blood flow from the femoral artery while Morrigan inspected his calf.

"We may have to take more than just his foot." Morrigan informed her. With the calf exposed, it was easy to see the darkened, discolored veins where the infection had begun to spread nearly half the length of the limb. "If we remove from here," she drew a line with her finger about two inches above the dark lines, "down, 'tis far more likely that he will recover without relapse."

"Let's get started, then." Ildri replied. Morrigan began to cast a Frost spell, beginning at her line and moving down to include the foot. Purple blisters raised on the skin, and quickly darkened to black. Some of them burst, leaking small rivulets of blood that trickled down the leg and pooled on the table. Morrigan paused the spell from time to time, prodding at the skin.

"The most severe level of frostbite causes these blisters." She explained. "The flesh will harden and feel waxy to the touch, similar to a candle. Once I am sure that the desired level of freezing has occurred, I will need to slice 'round the bone at the tip of the afflicted area," she pointed to where she'd drawn her invisible line, "then will have to remove some of the other flesh in the area to allow room for the saw blade. 'Tis not the type of saw generally used, so the wound will need to be cauterized afterwards."

"I've helped with amputations before. We didn't have magic to help, though, so this will be better." Ildri shuddered. "The screams you hear when you're cutting a man's leg off are horrible."

"I imagine so." Morrigan canceled the Frost spell one last time, then downed a lyrium potion. Ildri handed the witch a thick tome that she'd set aside earlier, and Morrigan slid it beneath the ankle, elevating the leg. She then picked up a curved dagger and sterilized it with a handful of fire before bending over the patient. Just above the frostbite damage was where she sunk the dagger into the flesh, causing more blood to pool on the table. Once she'd cut all the way around the leg, she cut a perpendicular line towards the foot about an inch, then circled the calf once more. Once she'd completed it, the portion of flesh slid off the bone with little encouragement, making a wet sound as it hit the table. As Morrigan cleaned her curved dagger, Ildri retrieved the bow saw. The witch accepted it from her and quickly inspected it.

"At least Alistair _tried_ cleaning it beforehand." Morrigan allowed. She summoned fire into her hand and heated the blade to sterilize it. "The handle may be a touch warm." Each woman held a handle, and Ildri waited as Morrigan laid the blade against the bone. "On my count. One, two, three." Ildri pulled on the saw, and pushed when Morrigan pulled. The frost had made the bone brittle, making their work easier, and less than a quarter of an hour later their grisly task was complete. The pair of them were coated with bone dust and small flecks of bone from their shoulders to their fingers, and had settled in the sweat on their faces. Ildri took the saw as Morrigan stumbled back from the table and awkwardly landed in a chair, fumbling for a lyrium potion. The elf quickly dropped it and rushed over to the other woman, helping her open the potion. The witch's arms were trembling with strain, and nearly let the empty bottle slip between her fingers.

"Are you all right?" Ildri asked.

"'Tis nothing." Morrigan waved her hand dismissively. "I am simply unused to such physical exertion." She tried to summon fire to her hand, and failed. She growled angrily, and flames finally burst into life on her palm. "Bring the saw, I must see to it." Ildri fetched it and held it out for the witch, who ran her fiery palm beneath the blade before rising and doing the same to the wound. The smell of scorched blood and flesh filled the air, and Ildri wrinkled her nose. Once she had finished, Morrigan lowered herself back into her chair.

"What are we going to do about him?" She asked, jerking her head towards their patient.

"If I leave him bespelled, he will sleep uninterrupted 'til I remove it. 'Twould be the better course of action, do you not agree?"

"Let him heal more on his own? Definitely." Ildri nodded her head. "But we're going to need to do something about that." She pointed at the amputated limb. Morrigan shot her a smirk and with a wave of her palm and a flash of fire, the offending limb was converted into a pile of ash.

"And know, I really must retire." Morrigan rose once more, not trembling as she had been before.

"Do you need a hand?" Ildri inquired, and Morrigan shook her head.

"I do not require your assistance. The offer, however, is appreciated."

"All right. I don't think that the others would have put us on watch tonight. Why don't we wash up, then we'll hit the sack."

"A sound plan."

* * *

><p>Ildri woke near midmorning, while Morrigan did not rise until midday. When she did get up, she looked as though she'd not slept at all.<p>

"Morrigan, what's wrong?" Ildri asked, walking towards her. The witch said nothing. "Morrigan?" Their eyes met for a moment before golden orbs rolled skyward and Morrigan collapsed. "Morrigan!" Ildri caught her and stumbled a bit before regaining her balance. She sat down on the floor, holding Morrigan in her arms. _The last person I held like this died… please, whatever gods exist, don't let it happen again._ The witch went into convulsions, and Ildri was hard pressed to keep her from dashing her head against the stone floor. Alistair rushed over, and Ildri turned her tear-filled gaze on him. "What's happening?" She begged.

"Genitivi's still sleeping. Did she maintain the spell all night?" He demanded, and Ildri nodded. He swore and ran into the room Genitivi was resting in. Not long afterwards, Morrigan's spasms stopped, and Alistair stepped back into the room.

"The spell was consuming her mana all night. She must not have expected to sleep so late."

"Will she be all right?" Ildri asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

"With some _proper_ rest, she will be." Alistair sighed. "It looks like we're here another day, then."

"Depends on how long she sleeps." Ildri replied. She rose to her feet and picked her friend's limp form off the ground. She nearly dropped the witch a few times, but she managed to return Morrigan to her bedroll.

"You got her back to bed?" Alistair asked Ildri as she walked out of the Chantry.

"Yes. Were you and Andreina able to find anything that I could replace my jacket with?"

"Nothing that's as well armored. Whatever piece you choose will need to be resized."

"That's what I figured." Ildri sighed. "I guess I'd better get to work, then."

* * *

><p>Ildri didn't have as poor luck as she'd assumed she would – there was a decently armored jacket amongst the salvaged materials that was only slightly too long in the sleeves and body, and both were easily adjusted. Seeing as Genitivi was the only one who knew the way to the old abandoned temple, they were waiting on him to recover. Ildri had retreated within the Chantry while the others were outside. She sat beside Morrigan's bedroll as she worked on her new jacket as she waited for the other woman to awaken. She only left the witch's side to relieve herself or to get some food. Once she'd finished her jacket, Ildri practiced her letters. Morrigan had suggested that she begin keeping a journal and write in it each night, and Ildri had taken her advice to heart. Barkspawn had joined her, and sat at her side.<p>

"Still sleeping?" Ildri looked up and saw Alistair standing in the doorway.

"Yes." She replied. "I know that you and Morrigan don't get along very well, but I'm glad that you helped out. What did you do? Right after you went into the room, she stopped twitching and stuff."

"I Cleansed the area. Templar ability." He explained. "She's been very helpful so far. Just because I don't like her doesn't mean I was going to let her die."

"She was _dying_?"

"If too much mana is expended within a certain amount of time with no breaks and no lyrium intake, a mage can die." He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorjamb. "If it hadn't killed her, she would have sustained serious brain damage."

"Well…" Ildri sighed, "That would've sucked."

"That's one way to put it." Alistair chuckled. "How are you holding up? You were pretty upset earlier."

"I… I've been better." Ildri admitted. "Morrigan was pretty much the first person outside my family who ever gave a shit about what I wanted. My first… friend, I guess."

"I thought that you and Nadia were pretty close."

"She's a… oh, what's the word… someone I work with." Ildri waved a hand.

"Colleague?" Alistair offered.

"That sounds about right." Ildri nodded. "So it's a bit more of a working relationship than an actual friendship."

"And what about Duncan?" He asked. "What was your 'working relationship' like with him?"

"I don't know." Ildri pulled her legs up to her chest and folded her arms across her knees. "I mean, the guy saved my life, and I was such a bitch to him."

"I can't imagine that life in the Alienage would have let you see many humans in a favorable light."

"The humans I saw were all judged on a scale of 'not so bad' to 'that guy's a fucking pervert'." She informed him. "There were some even worse than that. They were mostly nobles."

"What do you mean?"

"Every time the Landsmeet happened, some elves had it good, and others… not so much. They all got paid a little bit more when the nobles were in Denerim, but not all of them worked for nice nobles. The Couslands and the Guerrins weren't so bad, and there were a couple other decent ones. Wulff, and the Eremon family. That woman Esmerelle, the Bann of Amaranthine? Watch out for her. She was always one of those nobles whose elven servants tended to _disappear_ from time to time."

"Were you a servant in someone's estate?" Alistair pulled over a chair and straddled it, resting his arms on its back.

"No, I wasn't. I don't think I'd have been able to put up with someone like Esmerelle or Habren Bryland without at least trying to stab them."

"You seem to know quite a bit about the noble families." Alistair pointed out.

"No one pays attention to servants, especially if they're 'just elves'. And the few nobles who _do_ pay attention to servants forget, or don't know, that elves have far better hearing than humans do, so they don't send us far enough away."

"Wait, you have better hearing than we do?"

"Yep. These babies are for more than just looks." She tapped one of her ears. "We also tend to have better night vision than you guys do."

"I didn't know that." He admitted.

"Most people don't." Ildri grimaced. "Most people don't care enough about our people to bother actually _learning_ anything about them… all anyone knows about elves is history. Did you know that some elves actually fought against the Orlesians? Loghain put them all together, they were called the Night Elves. Mama used to tell me stories about them so much, I think she might've been one."

"You don't talk about your family much." Alistair commented.

"Not much to talk about. I've got my cousins, Soris and Shianni, and my father Cyrion. We're all that's left."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, I guess." They fell into silence, and Ildri scratched behind Barkspawn's ears.

"Genitivi woke up earlier." Alistair informed her. "He's been trying out the crutches we put together for him."

"That's good. That means we're just waiting on you to wake up." Ildri nudged the witch.

"She should wake up in the morning, if not sooner." He mused. "I can't say for sure. I'm not much of an expert on this. I've heard of it happening before, but I've never seen it myself."

"You don't have to apologize. I can't, after all, expect you to know _everything_."

"Well that's a relief." He smirked over at her. "Make sure you get some sleep tonight, too. If you sit up all night you'll kick yourself for it all day tomorrow."

"Yes, Ser." She saluted in his general direction.

"You don't have a watch tonight, so don't worry about that. I do, however, and lucky for me, I got watch in the middle of the night."

"Ouch." She shook her head. "I _hate_ mid-watch."

"Don't we all?" Alistair rose from his chair and put it back against the wall. "I'm going to take a lay-down. Good night, Ildri."

"Good night… Alistair." At the sound of his same, he smiled over his shoulder at her. When she returned it, he left the room, leaving the two women and the mabari alone.

* * *

><p>"Ildri? Why are you sleeping beside me?" Ildri opened her eyes to see Morrigan peering down at her.<p>

"Morrigan! You're awake!" Ildri smiled broadly and threw her arms around the woman. The witch stiffened before patting the elf on the back.

"Now that you have further invaded my personal space, would you kindly explain to me what happened yesterday?" Ildri released the other woman and glared up at her.

"You almost _died_, Morrigan. That's what happened."

"Ah. Perhaps I should have warned you to wake me in the morning. How is it that I maintain my mental faculties?"

"Alistair used one of his Templar-ability-thingies on Genitivi, ending the spell." Ildri informed her. "And yes, you should have warned me. For fuck sakes, Morrigan, I was –" Ildri stopped, biting her lip.

"No use in berating me for it now, Warden. 'Tis done." Morrigan scoffed.

"I'm not…okay, I was kinda giving you shit. I'm just upset that you nearly _died_ on us, and there was nothing I could do but sit here."

"I am certain that there were other things you could have done to occupy your time." Morrigan said, nonchalant.

"Not really. We were waiting for Genitivi to wake up. Alistair and Riordan made some crutches for him. I found a jacket to replace the one that nearly got eaten and shortened it." Ildri shrugged. "Yesterday was pretty boring."

"I slept an entire day?" Morrigan's eyes widened. "And… am I to understand that you remained at my side for its duration?"

"Well… it's not like I had anything else to do."

"You could have done your needlework anywhere, but you chose to sit with me. I am curious as to why." Morrigan persisted.

"I…I was… concerned." Ildri stammered out. Morrigan raised a brow, waiting for her to elaborate. "It doesn't matter. You're awake, with your whole maintenance of faculties thing." Ildri nodded. "No brain damage. We should let the others know, so that we can get ready to head up to the temple thing." Ildri stood and pulled on her breeches. "I think that they might be getting anxious to get moving. After all, we don't know if Eamon's gotten worse since we left and all." Ildri looked over her shoulder to see that Morrigan hadn't moved. "Are you getting up? We should get up."

"You are rambling. Are you nervous?" Morrigan drawled, a smile on her lips.

"Nope. Not nervous. Why would I be nervous?" Ildri shook her head. "I'm just glad that you're okay, you and your brain."

"Sit down. The others can stand to wait a while longer." Morrigan commanded. "I am curious as to what has prompted your rambling."

"I'm not rambling." Ildri defended.

"I beg to differ." Morrigan smirked up at her. "Can we not be honest with one another? I had thought that you trusted me."

"Oh, that's not fair." Ildri frowned and crossed her arms. "Low blow."

"I am considered a witch." She chuckled. "Come, let us talk." Ildri sighed and sat back down.

"I'm not the best at talking about emotions and stuff." Morrigan's eyes widened momentarily, and Ildri considered how that had sounded. "Oh, Morrigan, not _that _kind of emotion!" She shook her head. "No offense or anything. I mean, you're about as far from ugly as a girl can get, but I'm not into women. Any humans, for that matter. I think it's your ears that throw me off."

"Of all the things you could find unattractive in a human, you settled on our _ears_?" Morrigan laughed.

"Not pointy enough." Ildri smiled in return. "I haven't had any friends outside my family before. And when you fainted or whatever yesterday, I was really worried about you. I really am glad that you're okay." She looked over at the witch, waiting for her reaction. Morrigan was hard to read at the best of times, and Ildri couldn't tell what she was thinking. "But we really should get going. The others are probably more than ready to get a move on."

"I agree." Morrigan rose quickly, turning her back to Ildri. They quickly gathered their belongings and headed outside to find that the others were still sleeping, for the most part. Riordan had apparently gotten last watch, because he and Sten were the only ones awake. Ildri nodded to Riordan and shot a small smile at Sten. The both of them nodded in return, and Ildri started working on breakfast.

* * *

><p>After they'd eaten, Genitivi led them back into the Chantry.<p>

"I take it you've all noticed that there is no sign of an old abandoned temple." This was met with a round of nods, and he continued. "I believe that the temple is built into the mountain, comparable to Orzammar. Judging by what I heard from the villagers, I believe that the entrance is located inside the Chantry somewhere. I was unable to find out where, however." The companions left Genitivi sitting in the main room of the Chantry and began looking for another secret entrance. It was actually Alistair who discovered it, hiding behind a large tapestry depicting the burning of Andraste on the back wall of the Chantry. The door proved to be impervious to lock picks – Zevran actually bent his set of picks in the attempt.

"Well what the fuck." Ildri glared at the door. "Morrigan, is there anything that you can do?" the witch sauntered past Ildri towards the door to inspect it.

"Nothing. Do you see this?" Morrigan pointed at some writing in the stones around the door. "This negates any magic within a certain radius of the door. I cannot cast any spells, and any spell that I cast at the door will be negated."

"There has to be _some_ way to open the thing." Ildri fumed.

"If I may…" Genitivi began. "Eirik wore a medallion on a chain. From what I saw of it, it appeared to be a Tevinter puzzle-key. If I'm not mistaken, it should open the door."

"This medallion?" Nadia fished through her pockets and handed the man something that flashed silver.

"Yes, this is it." Genitivi turned the medallion over in his hands, trying to solve the puzzle.

"Does anyone else find it funny that if the Ashes are, in fact, here, they're protected by Tevinter technology?" Ildri pointed out, looking at her companions. Andreina looked somewhat offended, as did Alistair, but Riordan was trying to hide a smirk. Morrigan didn't try, the corners of her lips turned up.

"That's an interesting thought." Genitivi marveled. "I wonder what made them choose that route?" He continued to murmur to himself as he worked at the medallion. Ildri heard a faint _snick_. "There, that's better." Genitivi lifted the medallion-key to show he was done. Nadia retrieved it and walked over to the door. After a moment, she threw open the door, and they saw that it opened into a long stone tunnel with torches lining the walls.

"Morrigan, if you would?" Ildri gestured towards one of the torches. She said nothing, but she waved her hand and the first few burst into flame. They made their way down the tunnel, and Morrigan lit the torches as they went. In time, the passage opened upwards and outwards into a large chamber. Light shone through some places on the ceiling and walls, and snow covered the floor. Intricate pillars ran the length of the chamber, and Ildri could see stairs in the distance.

"Maker's breath…" Genitivi hobbled past them, gazing around the room. "Oh, to have seen this place years ago, in all its splendor…"

"It's very pretty." Ildri agreed. "There were probably a lot less crazy people in here back then, too."

"That reminds me." Genitivi turned to face her. "I had planned on staying behind in case there were more of the villagers through here. I would only be a liability in any fight, after all."

"Is there anything you can tell me about the temple itself?"

"It was built and designed with the intention of protecting Andraste's earthly remains from those who would steal the urn, or do it harm."

"Tevinter." Ildri reasoned, and he nodded. "Any 'designs' in particular come to mind?"

"The legends were never very specific on what a person would face in the temple." He admitted. "Some parts of the legends do come to mind, though. 'Only the faithful shall lay eyes on the Sacred Ashes; death and misfortune await the unbeliever. The Maker's gaze has fallen on Andraste's final resting place. He weeps for His Beloved, and his wrath at Her betrayers endures.'" Ildri raised a brow. "That is what the legend says, and the Maker may indeed watch this place."

"Bullshit." Ildri rolled her eyes. "The place is just filled with traps or something, and whoever wrote the legend wanted to sound all spooky-like."

"Believe what you will," Genitivi sighed, "but you are probably right on some accounts. After all, no one wants to hear, 'Willy toiled for many a year to perfect the curious mechanisms that would send a sharpened spike up the arse of the unwary intruder.'" Ildri chuckled.

"No, probably not." She agreed. "We should get moving."

"I will try to stay out of sight if I hear anyone coming." Genitivi informed her.

"Good, I guess." Ildri replied absentmindedly, looking around the chamber. "Am I the only one that thinks that there could be more cultists popping out of damn near anywhere in here?"

"No, you are not." Zevran murmured. "We will need to be on guard."

"Alistair, you and Andreina are on point." Ildri called out. "Sten, I'd like you to be the rearguard." The three of them nodded and fell in around the four rogues and the mage. Barkspawn and Amber stood beside their respective mistresses. "Now, let's get going."

* * *

><p>They encountered a handful of cultists in the first rooms they entered – men and women who were unarmed and unarmored, but attacked them anyway.<p>

"Whatever they're protecting, at least _they_ think it's important." Nadia mused.

"It damn well better be those Ashes. I don't want us to have come all the way out here for absolutely nothing." Ildri growled. There were a few bookshelves lining the walls, but not much else. The next room was a barracks of a sort – they saw more of the armed cultists there. They continued down the hall, and entered the last room. There were no cultists there, but what Ildri saw took her breath away.

"A library? I wonder how many of these books are still readable." Alistair said, looking around the room.

"I've never seen so many books before in my life." Ildri murmured.

"Wait 'til we get to the Circle." Alistair chuckled. "This is _nothing_ compared to that."

"'Tis too bad that they did not take better care of them." Morrigan pointed at the snow covering everything. "There are likely books here that one cannot find anywhere else in Thedas." Ildri walked past a shelf, trailing her fingers along the spines of the books.

"Is there anything here that can be saved?" Ildri asked the witch. "I don't think we'll be returning here, and these could be valuable."

"We don't have time –" Riordan began.

"We're going to _make_ time, Riordan." Ildri snapped, spinning about to face the older Warden. "We can't afford to leave anything of use or value behind. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're not exactly made of money. And I'm pretty sure that the Wardens aren't going to be sending us any soon, either." They spent about twenty minutes in the library, looking through the books for Morrigan to judge worthy or not for taking. Anything written in Arcanum, the language of Tevinter, was taken. Whatever scrolls weren't falling apart or mildewed beyond repair were also taken. Once everyone had a few books added to their packs, they moved on. The other hall had a few rooms, and one that none of the rogues were able to pick the lock on. Once they were sure that there were no cultists that could sneak up on them from behind, they headed up the stairs at the northern end of the room. There was a handful of cultists there, accompanied by a mage. Once Alistair Smote the mage, the cultists proved to not be very challenging. Morrigan had, however, sustained an injury; one of the cultists had snuck up on her and had slashed at her arm before she could cast a spell at him. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and the witch cleaned and bandaged her wound before the party moved on. A few rooms further into the temple, they came to a room that had passageways branching off to each side.

"Well… this was unexpected." Alistair remarked. Ildri looked around the room before speaking. It was a large, open room, with small alcoves between pillars that lined the walls. There was a shrine at the back of the room, which boasted a life-size statue of Andraste atop it. Hers wasn't the only statue in the room, however. The doors that headed east and west also had statues beside them. The western side had a statue of a human male in animal furs bearing a short sword and a shield, while the eastern one had a statue of a human male wearing some kind of helmet and robes ensemble, and bore a long sword in his hand with the tip touching the ground near his feet.

"So… either we split up, and take each passage at the same time, or we do one at a time. Thoughts?" Ildri looked over at her companions.

"Splitting up would make it faster, no doubt about that." Nadia nodded. "But it might not be the best option. We have no idea what's ahead."

"And we're unbalanced." Andreina pointed out. "One team will have Morrigan, and only one team will have anyone with Templar training."

"Keep her in one team, and me in another." Alistair shrugged. "So long as there's only one or two mages, she or I would be enough for each team."

"I think that splitting would be the best option." Riordan cut in.

"Sten? Morrigan? Zevran?" Ildri looked at them in order. "You've been silent."

"'Twould be best, I think, to separate." Morrigan offered.

"Whatever you decide will be fine." Zevran demurred. Ildri looked over at Sten.

"Make a choice, Warden." Ildri shook her head up at him.

"Very well. We will split up. Andreina, Alistair, Amber, Zevran and Nadia will go west. The rest of us will go east." Ildri headed through the eastern door without further comment, and a glance over her shoulder showed that the others had fallen into the groups she'd specified, with Andreina leading the other group. _Good. That was what I was hoping for._ The passage ended up making a large u-shape, bearing south before a small room opened northwards again. They encountered little resistance – a few mages and a handful of warriors.

"I hope that the others fare as well as we did through here." Riordan commented.

"The passageway probably goes in a circle of some kind. If we make it to the end before they do, then we'll bear around to flank any enemies that they're facing." Ildri replied. The final room before the passage turned west had a larger replica of the one at the beginning of the passage, and Ildri stepped forwards to study it.

"I think that this is meant to be the Archon Hessarian." The older Warden said, walking up beside her.

"Why would a temple devoted to Andraste have a statue of the man who ordered her burned to death?" Ildri asked.

"The legend states that he took mercy on Her, and ended her life before the flames took Her." Riordan pointed out. "And that he converted to the Andrastian faith."

"The old man might like to see this." Ildri mused. "But that's not important right now. We need to go around, make sure that the others are doing okay." The group of five headed west, and entered a nearly identical room as the one they'd just left, only to see the rest of their party enter it.

"I take it you had little trouble?" Andreina smirked.

"Nothing interesting. How was your side?" Ildri queried.

"There were some booby-trapped chests. After the Ash Wraith popped out of the first one, we left the others alone." Andreina replied. "Morrigan, could you come take a look at Zevran? He took a bad hit when that thing came out of the chest." The witch scoffed and crossed the room to look over the whole group.

"So if the other one was Hessarian, who's this?" Ildri nodded towards the statue dominating the chamber they were in.

"If I were to guess, I would say Maferath." Riordan ventured.

"Whoever built this place seriously needs to have their heads examined. Seriously? The two guys who, arguably, were some of the biggest asses of their times, and _those_ are the statues they put up? Where's Shartan? Or anybody who didn't hurt her, really." Ildri shook her head. "I will _never_ understand humans."

* * *

><p>"Stop! You will go no further!" They had made their way through the cave systems in the mountain, fighting their way through cultists, dragons, and even drakes. Ildri suspected that they were nearly finished. Looking past the group who'd stopped to actually talk to them, she thought she saw an exit, and light, just beyond them. The man who addressed them was very tall – Ildri guessed that he topped six feet, and he had dark hair, skin, and eyes.<p>

"Who are you?" Ildri demanded, resting her palms on her blades. "What do you want?"

"You dare ask what I want?" He stepped closer to her. "You come here, to our temple, spilling the blood of our faithful, and you think to make demands of me?"

"You're the first person who's bothered to stop and talk to us. Everyone else we've seen around here in the past few days has tried to kill us." Ildri explained. "Excuse me if I'm a little fucking wary. All I want is to get to the Ashes, then we'll get out of your hair."

"The prophet Andraste has overcome death itself, and has returned to her faithful in a form more radiant than you can imagine! Not even the Tevinter Imperium could hope to slay her now. What hope do you have?"

"No, you see, there's something you're missing here." Ildri broke in. "We're not here to kill her. Or whatever you seem to think is her, anyway. We just want some of the burnt bits. They should probably be in some kind of fancy-assed pot."

"'Fancy-assed pot'. Oh, if the Revered Mother heard you say that…" Alistair chortled.

"So you are after the Ashes." The man folded an arm across his chest, and stroked his beard with the other hand.

"Is that _not_ what I just said?" Ildri rolled her eyes. "So if you could just, you know, scooch over a little? That'd be great."

"Perhaps there is a way for you to make up for your desecration of our home and temple. Allow me to introduce myself –"

"Wait, hold up a second." Ildri held up a hand. "You guys actually _live_ in here? With the dragons and shit?"

"They are the offspring of Andraste. We take care of them, and in return, She provides us…great power. Through Her guidance, we have learned to harness it." He explained, as though speaking to a small child.

"Maker's breath." Ildri pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're worshipping a fucking dragon. And you're insane. Although, I'm pretty sure that the two kind of go hand-in-hand with one another."

"You know nothing!" He shouted, pointing down at her. "Andraste has revealed Herself to us! We are Her chosen!"

"It's going to eat you. I hope you know that." Ildri looked over her shoulder at her companions for a moment. "Do dragons eat people?"

"To arms, my brethren! Andraste will grant us victory!" He unslung a massive two-handed axe and rushed towards Ildri, who quickly rolled out of the way.

"Does someone _else_ want to fight the crazy guy with the axe?" Ildri shouted, drawing her sword and dagger. Sten came to her rescue, charging at the man. Alistair was already taking care of one of the cultist's mages, so Ildri selected a dual-wielding cultist to face off against. He swung his dagger towards her face and she ducked beneath it, swiping her sword at his side. It was a glancing blow, and he recovered quickly, stepping back. He swung his sword in a downwards arc, and Ildri crossed her own blades to block it. She caught his sword, but he stabbed at her leg with his dagger. She hissed when she felt his blade cut her thigh, then raised her knee to catch him in the groin. He stumbled back, and Ildri slashed her dagger across his throat. When he fell, she looked around at her companions. Alistair and Andreina had taken care of one of the mages, and were now taking on the other one. Sten was still fighting the crazy-guy-with-the-axe. Morrigan had used her Cone of Cold spell on the drake, and Zevran and Nadia were attempting to shatter it. The mabari hounds were working together to take down a sword-and-shield warrior, and Riordan was facing off against another one. Ildri hurried as best she could to help Sten, and stabbed her dagger into the small gap in the armpit of his heavy armor. She'd misjudged, and he released his axe with one hand to backhand her. Ildri was sent backwards a few feet, much to her surprise. _What the __**fuck**__ kind of 'power' did that Maker-forsaken dragon __**give**__ them?_ Sten took advantage of axe-man letting go of his weapon and losing his focus to press his own attack. He swung his blade at the man's legs, sweeping them out from under him. After he'd fallen, Sten drove his blade home in the man's throat. Ildri looked to her other companions to see that they had defeated the cultists. "Am I the only one who thinks it's time for a rest stop?" Ildri asked, after spitting out a mouthful of blood.

"Ildri, we need to speak." She looked up to see that Riordan had walked over to her.

"About?" She raised a brow at him. "If you don't mind, I'll do what I can for this while you're talking." She gestured towards her thigh, then sat down on a nearby rock.

"What you did was foolish." Ildri froze in the act of searching for a health poultice, then looked up at the older Warden.

"Excuse me?" She asked softly.

"We could have gathered more information from him. You should have kept your mouth shut, and listened." Riordan squatted in front of her, so they were at eye level with one another.

"What the _fuck_ would we have learned from him, Riordan?" She demanded. "How to entertain a pet dragon?"

"Among other things, perhaps. We'll never know, now." He said, with a glance at the corpse in question.

"Everyone that was in here was bat-shit fucking insane. All we would have gotten was more ramblings about their 'risen Andraste' bullshit."

"But you don't know –"

"Yeah, and neither do fucking you." Ildri pointed out. "I learned what we needed to know about the dragon."

"Really. Why don't you enlighten me." Ildri growled, and he sat down.

"He said that they 'take care' of the baby dragons. That means that momma dragon – if she's nearby – is used to humans coming through. Unless we go out of our way to piss her off, she'll likely leave us alone."

"But you don't know that for sure." He pointed out.

"And neither do you. For all we know, they could have been planning to sic the dragon on us for 'desecrating their temple'." She spat. "And whatever they wanted us to do to make up for the 'desecration' probably wouldn't have been something we'd wanted to do anyway."

"Once again, you don't know for sure." He repeated. "If you are bound and determined to continue with such foolishness, I _will_ relieve you of command."

"Let's get one thing straight here." Ildri snarled. "You may be the senior Warden here, but _I _am in command here. No one else. Why don't you go around and see how many of the others would be willing to follow you if you did relieve me of command? Alistair and Nadia have both handed the reins over to _me_. Morrigan and Zevran are sworn to follow _me_. I can't promise about Andreina and Sten, but I'm willing to bet that they wouldn't follow you either. If you don't like what I'm doing, you're more than able to leave. Otherwise, shut the fuck up." Ildri went back to rooting through her pack for a health poultice.

"I am the senior Warden. By all rights, I should be the one in command." Riordan countered.

"Senior Warden of _Jader_. In case you haven't noticed it yet, we're not in fucking Orlais. The Ferelden Wardens answer to me, and me alone. You are here as an extra blade, and to help with Warden shit. I'd appreciate having another Warden to throw at the Archdemon if at all possible, but if you don't think you can _debase_ yourself enough to follow my command, then you can leave." Ildri finally found the poultice and pulled it out of her pack. She stretched out her leg to inspect the wound, and applied some of the mixture through the tear in her leggings. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Riordan was still sitting close to her. "You going to sit there and stare at me all day, or are you actually going to say something?"

"I will remain with you for now. I only hope that you will listen when it comes to actual Grey Warden issues."  
>"I have so far, haven't I?" She asked. He didn't reply, but stood and left her alone. "Ass."<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to MirandaBasilisk and Emma Carsen for following!**

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><p>They rested in the cavern for a while, and Ildri asked Morrigan to see if she could do anything to help them clean up.<p>

"I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to risk walking through a dragon's territory covered in blood." Morrigan had promptly left the cavern in the direction they'd come in through to summon a small blizzard. There was enough resulting snow to allow the entire party to clean up – even the pair of mabari, to their great distress. After they had all cleaned up some and got some food into their systems, they left the cavern. They were out on a large plateau, and Ildri was sure she could see another building on the other side of it. They stood on the remains of an ancient platform that angled sharply towards the ground.

"I don't see any dragons, or cultists, or anything." Nadia spoke up. "This place looks… abandoned."

"Female dragons have wings." Morrigan pointed out. "High dragons of legend. 'Tis unlikely we would notice her presence if we did not know where to look for her."

"Son of a bitch." Ildri groaned. Amber growled up at her, and she leaned over to scratch behind the mabari's ears. "Wasn't talking about you, girl." The dog sniffed at her – _I think she's not too pleased with me_ – before walking away. "Morrigan, how big are high dragons?" Before the woman could answer, a deafening roar sounded overhead.

"We are about to see for ourselves." The witch replied. "I recommend taking what cover we can." She quickly followed her own advice, ducking down beside what once might have been a pillar, Ildri and the others quickly following suit. She peeked over the rubble she'd hidden herself behind as the dragon flew overhead.

"Maker's blood, that thing is huge!" Ildri breathed. The dragon either didn't see them or didn't care, for she passed over them to land on a cliff.

"Yet oddly beautiful, no?" Zevran chimed in.

"Of course she is." Morrigan huffed. "Any apex predator is glorious in its own right." Ildri ignored the byplay, not taking her eyes from the maroon behemoth.

"What do we do if this thing attacks, hmm?" Riordan murmured behind her. He sounded almost smug.

"Then we kill her. But if she's willing to leave us alone, then I'm willing to leave her alone." Ildri replied with a shrug. "There's ten of us. I'm pretty sure that we could take her if we needed to."

"We should spread ourselves out when we proceed." Morrigan suggested. "If we are too close to one another, 'twould enable her to make short work of us."

"I agree. Also, no fast movements." Ildri looked at her companions. "Last thing we want to do is startle her."

"No, I think not." Alistair chuckled nervously.

"Morrigan, stick close to me, just in case she does attack. Sten, you're on point, and Morrigan and I'll be in the back." She looked over at the Qunari, who nodded his assent. "Don't line up, one after the other. Spread out. We've got lots of room to work with, after all. Whenever you're ready, Sten." He nodded once more before rising and drawing his sword. He walked down the slope at a steady pace, and Alistair followed after he'd taken a few steps, but not directly behind him, as Ildri had asked. He was followed shortly by Andreina and Amber, then Riordan, and Nadia and Zevran followed soon after. Ildri, Morrigan and Barkspawn went last. Ildri kept her eyes on the dragon, trusting in Morrigan and Barkspawn to keep her from stumbling. She glanced at the others of the party from time to time, and was glad to see that they were following her direction. _Even Riordan. Asshole._

"So you had words with the estimable senior Warden?" Morrigan drawled.

"What a fucking _dick_." Ildri growled.

"I gather you did not appreciate his chosen topic for discussion?" The witch chuckled.

"He threatened to 'relieve' me of command!" Ildri informed her, and she scoffed.

"'Twould be an inadvisable course of action. Foolish, really." Morrigan commented.

"No one ever accused most men of being smart." Ildri grumbled, and the witch laughed.

"Very true." They continued in silence, Ildri's green gaze fixed on the dragon. So far, she seemed content to let them pass. She looked ahead at Sten, and saw that he was already past the cliff the dragon was resting atop. He had stopped and turned around to watch the rest of the group. _If there's something that needs my attention, either him or Morrigan can tell me._ She nodded to herself and looked back up at the dragon. She'd rolled over, and was studying their party.

"I'm going to assume that dragons don't like ice spells." Ildri directed at Morrigan.

"'Tis a safe assumption." She agreed.

"Yeah, well you might want to ready that frost weapon spell. And see if you can't quietly do something to warn the others." Ildri caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye then glanced down at her blades to see that Morrigan had cast the spell. "Thanks."

"You need not thank me for applying common sense." Morrigan replied airily. Ildri shrugged, returning her attention to the dragon. She was standing up on all fours, twitching her wings.

"Morrigan…." Ildri began, lifting her blades into a ready position.

"Yes, Warden!" The witch hissed. "If they are not already aware of the dragon's interest in us, they soon will be." Ildri looked over at Sten, who was in the process of herding the others back out onto the plateau, and making sure that they weren't bunched together. There was the quick snap of broad, leathery wings, then the high dragon was in the air.

"If that son of a bitch so much as even _thinks_ about giving me a smug look later, I just might kill him." Ildri grumbled to herself. "Barkspawn, stay close to Morrigan." She ordered, not taking her eyes from the dragon. After circling above them a couple times, she angled her wings for a dive. Ildri spared a glance for the rest of her companions – they all had their weapons drawn, and were spread about ten or so paces from each other.

"Disable her wings first!" Morrigan shouted, then the dragon was on the ground. Andreina, Alistair, and Sten rushed in first, to try and keep the dragon's attention on them. Ildri swept past them, heading for the wing closest to her. Nadia, Zevran, and Riordan were on the other side, and she trusted them to take care of the other wing. She raised her sword to try and stab through the wing, but she didn't have the leverage to pierce it.

"Damn it!" She cursed. She hefted her sword and ran to the dragon's side, gripping it with both hands and swinging as hard as she could at one of the tree-trunk-like legs. The edge bit into the scales, but not much further. The dragon roared in apparent pain, but Ildri couldn't tell if it was at her own efforts, or because of one of the others. She pulled her sword back and swung again, and the blade slid into the previous cut and into flesh. She pulled the blade back to swing again, but the dragon flapped her wings and the resulting shift of air threw Ildri off her feet. The dragon lifted off, and Ildri looked over at her companions to see that she'd not been the only one flung to the ground. The other three duel-wielders were just getting to their feet, but Alistair, Andreina and Sten had been staggered, but remained standing. Morrigan had been far enough away as to be unaffected. Ildri climbed to her feet, picking up her sword from the ground where it had fallen. Ten pairs of eyes followed the dragon as she soared above them. She angled her wings once more for a dive, but this time instead of landing she started breathing fire at them. Ildri scrambled to get behind a pillar, and once she was safe enough, she peeked around the edge to see if the others had been as lucky. Nadia had been a tad slow, but Zevran had picked her up and dove for cover. The others all appeared to be safe behind cover, so Ildri looked back up at the sky. The dragon was circling once more, but with the cliff at their backs, the dragon couldn't get at them without diving parallel to the cliff. So she took to the ground once more, where she would be able to simply reach over and pluck them from cover. As Ildri watched the dragon lash her tail, she was struck by an idea. "Everyone out! Keep her distracted!" She shouted, breaking into a sprint. She heard someone shout after her, but the message was lost as the dragon cried out, and as Ildri put distance between herself and the others. She reached the dragon's tail and began to run up her back. It wasn't exactly firm footing; the dragon was constantly in motion, and her scales were slick. _Like trying to run on ice._ While there were a few small spikes at the tip of the dragon's tail, the distance between there and the base of her neck was bare, which was a bit of a mixed blessing. If she slipped, she'd have nothing to grab onto to hold herself up. But on the other hand, she also didn't have to worry about impaling herself on one of them if she did happen to slip. Ildri shook her head to clear it, then half-ran, half-slid across the beast's back to her left wing. Once there, she raised her sword above her head and thrust her arms down. Sitting above the wing, she had far more weight and leverage behind the blow, and her blade punched through. Until now, Ildri had been no more than a mild annoyance to the dragon, but with this, she was now the creature that had caused her a great deal of pain. The dragon turned her head to look at Ildri and snarled at her. _Oh shit_ was all she had time for before the dragon lunged. She let go of her sword and slid to the ground mere seconds before the dragon's jaws closed around where she'd been. Literally; her jaws snapped shut about her own wing. The dragon was apparently confused – Ildri's disappearance mixed with blood loss, perhaps – and definitely angry. She let go of her wing and lashed out. She was grounded: while Ildri had been climbing across the dragon, Sten had helped Riordan, Nadia, and Zevran disable the other wing. Armed now with only her dagger, and with no way to immediately recover or replace her sword, Ildri backed away from the fight. She watched as most of her companions danced around the dragon, inflicting small wounds here and there for the dual-wielders; serving as distractions for Alistair and Andreina… and apparently having a small bout of blood rage, with Sten. Morrigan was tossing spells into the mix, but her most powerful spells could and would inflict friendly fire. Sten stood before the dragon, shouting a challenge into her snout. She paused a moment, tilting her head down at him, before lunging forward and plucking him from the ground. She felt a lump in her throat as she watched the dragon worry Sten, almost like Barkspawn when he caught a rabbit. "Get him out of there!" She yelled, leaping into motion. There wasn't much she was going to be able to do with just her dagger, but she couldn't just stand by and watch. She rushed over to the leg she'd hacked at previously, and stabbed her dagger into it repeatedly. _Must have hit an artery,_ she thought as hot blood spurted out of the wound in time with the beating of the dragon's heart. The dragon roared and threw Sten from her maw, flinging him into the cliff where he slid the few feet to the ground and remained still. Remembering at the last moment to retrieve her dagger, she ran over to the giant's side. He was still breathing, but it was slow and ragged. His heavy armor was covered in dents and scratches, and there were holes clean through in places. Grateful that she still had her dagger, she sliced through the leather straps that held his breastplate together and the armor slid off easily.

"Warden." Sten spoke, startling her. "The dragon is still alive."

"And armed with only a dagger, there's not much that I can do to help with that, now can I?" She retorted.

"Fair enough." He replied, coughing. Ildri's eyes widened, and she looked up at his face. There was no blood dribbling down his chin, for which she was thankful. Brandishing her dagger once more, she sliced his shirt open to inspect the damage. His armor had protected his abdomen and most of his chest, but one of the dragon's smaller teeth had punched through the weaker area near his right shoulder, and she had no idea if he'd broken any bones when the dragon had thrown him.

"Other than this, what hurts?" She gestured to the bite wound with one hand then fished through her pouch for a healing potion. They didn't have many of them; they tended to be expensive, but with Morrigan busy Ildri felt it was well worth the cost.

"I will be well enough." He grumbled.

"Now is _not_ the time for foolish, stubborn pride, Sten." Ildri growled. She'd located the potion, and began to pour it into the wound. Another roar from the dragon behind her threatened to distract her, but she focused on her task. _Right now, Sten is the most injured. Keep your head in the game, girl._ As she poured, the potion cleaned out the wound, fizzing and creating a white foam. She'd never actually seen one of these potions being used before – just one of them was worth more than an elven family earned in a month. Sten hissed in pain as the potion cleaned the wound from the inside out then began to tug and knit some of the worst damage back together. Ildri couldn't see most of it, of course, the potions were supposed to work on the most aggrieved areas to the least, until the potion was fully absorbed. She finally looked over her shoulder to see how the others were faring. Zevran had followed Ildri's lead and climbed the dragon's tail onto her back, but he had climbed further than she had and drove his sword into the dragon's skull. With a final roar, the dragon slumped to the ground. Nearly everyone was spotted with blood – it was difficult to discern which was theirs and which was the dragon's. "Is anyone else injured?"

"I think not." Morrigan spoke up. "At least, not to his extent."

"Can you come and look at him?" Ildri asked. "I don't know how bad he might be hurt." The witch nodded and came over to kneel beside Ildri, her hands glowing green.

"Cracked rib, and a slight concussion." Morrigan announced. "Other than the obvious. All in all, he is rather fortunate."

"I am right here." Sten informed her.

"Then you know that what I say is true." She replied, unfazed. Morrigan stood and left, presumably to check on the others. Ildri and Sten sat in silence for a few moments.

"So… I guess you're going to need new armor." Ildri broke the silence.

"Your grasp of the obvious is remarkable." He growled. Ildri decided to shrug off his irritation. _He just finished getting chewed on by a fucking dragon. He's more than earned the right to be a little irritable._

"If we can get something made from her remains, it's yours. You've earned it." She promised him.

"I had thought you might take it for yourself." He admitted, raising a brow.

"We killed half a dozen or so drakes to get here. If we can find someone to make dragon bone armor, I'm pretty sure the same guy would be more than willing to make drake scale armor. Besides, you're the one who's getting upfront and personal with the bad guys."

"Very true." He replied dryly. He looked at something over Ildri's shoulder, and she followed his gaze to see Morrigan returning.

"The others will be well enough." The witch informed her.

"Good." Ildri nodded. She looked up at the sky and was a bit surprised at how low the sun was. "I'm thinking that we should set up camp. Maybe not out here, we could go back into the caverns, or we could head in there." She nodded her head towards the building behind Sten.

"I would recommend a return to the caverns." Morrigan offered. "We know not what lies ahead of us, after all."

"Good point." Ildri acceded. She stood and rose her voice so the others could hear. "It's getting to be pretty late in the day. We're going to head back into the caverns to set up camp."

"Couldn't we set up out here?" Alistair asked.

"We have no idea what this place is going to be like after nightfall." Ildri pointed out. "Returning to the caverns will protect us from any odd weather, and will probably be a little bit warmer." Andreina, Zevran, and Nadia all seemed to agree with this line of thinking, but Riordan remained silent.

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><p>Ildri had mid-watch that night. She'd volunteered to take it, even though it was the worst shift. She took it often, allowing the others to get better rest. Ildri sat with her back to the fire, scrawling in her journal. It was cold in the caverns, causing the ink in her pen to solidify and making her writing appear even more sloppy than normal. With a frown she regarded her handiwork.<p>

_Today we __fot __**had a**__ fight with a high dragon. She was really big! __**Sten got hurt**__, but he looks like hell be fine. I promised him a set of armor from her if we can __**find**__ someone to make it. Im a little suprized that __**Riordan**__ hasnt come to give me shit yet. I did the __**best I could**__ to not get attacked by that bloody thing. Hes probly gonna use it agenst me at __**some other**__ time. When we get to __**Denerim**__ for the Landsmeet, Im gonna see if I cant __**get him to stay behind**__. We __siri __**seriusly**__** really**__ need better ways to fight dragons. Im guessing that __**Archies**__ gonna be a lot bigger than the one we __fo__ killed today. Theres gotta be a better way to get the __**wings**__. Maybe a __balis __**ballistay **__**whatever the fuck**__ those things that shoot big damn arrows are called. I dont know how to spell it. Ive never seen __**one**__ up close, but I'll bet it could __**punch**__ a hole the size of my head through a wing._

She set the journal down and waited for the ink to dry before closing it and putting it away. Her own writing was nowhere near as good as Morrigan's, and Ildri suspected it might always be sloppy. She cast a glance over at Sten's bedroll. He'd not shown any signs of the concussion, insisting on staying awake and taking a shift on watch. Ildri had given him the first watch, and had quietly asked Morrigan to stay awake with him. Not where he could see her, the last thing Ildri wanted to do was insult him. So Morrigan had shifted into a fox and stayed out of sight until his shift was complete. Ildri sighed and stood, brushing some dirt from her breeches. Save for the crackling of the fire and the odd snore, it was quiet. While quiet was good for a shift on watch, it didn't make the time pass. She walked around the camp to stretch her legs and to help stay awake. She walked past Riordan's bedroll, and he appeared to be having a bad dream. _I wonder if it's an Archdemon nightmare, or just a normal one. _She watched him for a while. He looked like he was in actual, physical pain, so she squatted down next to him and shook his shoulder_._ When he didn't wake, she shook him harder.

"Riordan, wake up." She shook him violently, and he listed from side to side. She reached for her water skin and dribbled some on his face, but it also failed to wake him. Ildri sighed and grabbed his shoulders to pull him upright, but as soon as she grabbed his shoulders he placed on hand on either wrist and threw her off of him. She hit the ground a short distance away and quickly got to her feet. She looked over at Riordan, who was sitting up with wild eyes and breathing heavily.

"I… I apologize." He breathed.

"It's fine." Ildri waved a hand in dismissal. "It's, you know, instinct. Muscle memory, or whatever. I'm just glad you threw me instead of stabbing me."

"There is that." He chuckled.

"What was it about?" Ildri asked after a moment.

"I think that the horde is still in the Deep Roads." Riordan crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees.

"You mentioned them before, but I don't know what that is." Ildri confessed.

"They are underground. They once connected the dwarven kingdoms, but the 'spawn took them from the dwarves. They were grand underground highways, and now they are nothing more than a dark, stinking pit filled with tainted creatures."

"That sounds distinctly unpleasant." Ildri murmured. "But if that's where they all live, I can see why Wardens tend to go down there."

"And now I have a question for you." She looked over at the senior Warden, waiting for him to continue speaking. "You did not need to wake me. In fact, I am rather surprised that you did."

"We don't get along that well, I know. But those dreams are awful. And I kind of have a favor to ask of you."

"And what might that be?" He asked.

"First, a little discussion." Ildri sat down across from him. "When we get back to Redcliffe after we get these Ashes and Guerrin is better, I want to go to Denerim."

"We only just left Denerim a short while ago." Riordan pointed out, and she nodded.

"Yes, but we'll have Guerrin with us this time." She replied. "I want to hold the Landsmeet as soon as possible. We need men, and that means that we have to get this civil war bullshit out of the way. The only way to do that is to crown a king."

"You mean Alistair."

"Yes. Him and Andreina. Even if we can't get her name cleared ourselves, once Alistair is on the throne, he'll take care of that for us. Get her a trial or whatever. The two of them – and Amber, obviously – will remain in Denerim. I also want you to stay with them."

"You need as many people with you as you can." Riordan argued.

"Not nearly as much as I need people in the capital. People who are motivated to get the things we need done, done."

"Such as?"

"We were incredibly lucky against that high dragon today." Ildri pointed out. "I'm very surprised that only one of us was badly injured. I'm going to assume that Archie is going to be _much_ bigger than she was. I need someone in Denerim to do any and all research on dragons that they can, and upgrade or commission the weaponry we need to take him out."

"I see." Riordan rested his chin on his hands. "This is not simply to get me out from under your command. You are actually showing some initiative."

"Really? That's all you thought it was?" She asked.

"After our discussion the other night? Yes, I did think that. I am glad to hear that I was wrong, however."

"Yes, I know we don't get along well. I don't know if I'll ever trust you beyond the whole Grey Warden thing, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to put the resources I have available to use." Ildri shot back.

"Is that how you think of us all? Mere resources?" He queried.

"Don't twist my words, it's a figure of speech." She replied scathingly. "Besides, isn't that how Wardens view the general populace? Judging who might and who mightn't be fit to become a Warden?"

"That is rather unfair. You never did meet many of the other Wardens, did you? If you had, you might think differently."

"Maybe, maybe not." She shrugged. "Will you stay in Denerim?"

"Yes. While I am there, I will see if I can locate that ingredient for the Joining."

"If nothing else, you can make a sweep of the dungeons and look for likely recruits." Ildri nodded. "Just one thing: I will have no rapists in my Wardens." Riordan looked as though he was going to argue, but she raised her hand to stop him. "If you bring me a rapist, brother or no, I will strike him down. A murderer or a thief I have no problems with. But I will not abide a rapist."

"If you do not mind, might I ask why not?" Riordan asked gently.

"It's because of a rapist that I'm here." She informed him. "And I'll tell you no more about it."

"Did you not want to be a Warden?"

"I wouldn't say that, no." Ildri replied. "I only regret that my actions harmed my family." Riordan asked no more questions about that, for which she was grateful.

"Why don't you get to bed?" Riordan spoke, breaking the silence. "I will start my shift early."

"All right, then." Ildri rose and walked over to her bedroll. She took off her armor until she was clad only in the linens she wore beneath it, then crawled into her bedroll.

* * *

><p>In the morning after everyone ate, they exited the caverns once more and proceeded towards the building on the far side. The door opened into a hallway, which led into a foyer-like room. There was a man wearing silverite plate armor and a winged helm standing next to the only door in the room. Ildri approached him, and in the dim light it appeared as though his pale eyes were almost glowing.<p>

"I bid you welcome, pilgrim." He greeted them. His voice seemed to echo around them, giving it an odd quality.

"Who are you? Are you one of the cultists?" Ildri demanded.

"I am the Guardian, the protector of the Urn of Sacred Ashes." He explained. "I have waited years for this."

"You waited for years… to see us?" She asked, bewildered.

"Not just you." the Guardian shook his head. "It has been my duty, my life, to protect the Urn and prepare the way for the faithful who come to revere Andraste."

"Not all of my followers revere Andraste. Will you still allow them to pass?" Ildri waited as the Guardian looked over her companions, his gaze resting upon each of them for only a moment.

"It is not my place to decide your worthiness." He demurred. "The Gauntlet does that."

"What is the Gauntlet? What does it require of us?"

"The Gauntlet tells the true pilgrims from the false. You will undergo tests of faith, and of yourself, and we shall see how your soul fares. If your heart is true, there is nothing to fear."

"Give me a moment." Ildri requested, then turned to face her companions. "I will not ask anyone to come with me. You can come if you wish, but I won't force you."

"Then I, for one, will remain here." Morrigan stated. "I have no desire to see your dead prophet."

"I would like to come with you." Andreina stepped forward, her eyes bright. Ildri nodded at her, then looked at her other companions.

"I don't know or understand why this woman is so important to you all," Nadia said, "and I don't want you to fail because I don't understand. I will stay here."

"I'll come with you." Alistair volunteered.

"All right." Ildri glanced over to Zevran, who merely shook his head at her.

"I would be honored to look upon Andraste's earthly remains." Riordan spoke up.

"Very well. Sten?" She looked up at the man in question. "You coming or staying?" He stared down at her for a moment, thinking.

"I… I will come." He replied, nodding.

"Before you go," the Guardian spoke, "there is something I must ask. The path that led you here was not easy."

"Ask your question, then." Ildri replied, turning back to face the Guardian.

"There is suffering in your past – your suffering, and the suffering of others." Ildri folded her arms across her chest, waiting for the Guardian to continue. "By the time you reached Shianni, she was broken, brutalized. You were too late. Tell me, pilgrim, did you fail Shianni?" Ildri felt as though she'd been dealt a blow to the stomach, and nearly staggered.

"What… how could you possibly know about that?" She asked, her voice wavering.

"Your path is laid out before me and plain to see – in the lines of your face, and the scars on your heart." The Guardian replied. Ildri's tongue darted out to wet her lips, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Do you believe you failed Shianni?"

"I…" She tried to maintain eye contact with the Guardian, but had to look away. "Yes, I failed Shianni. I should have made sure she didn't get taken, I could have not spent so long watching Nelaros die in my arms, I could have run faster, I could have _not_ stopped to kill every guard in the estate." There were tears slipping down her cheeks, and she couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. Looking back up at the Guardian, she demanded, "What is the purpose to this? Why should it matter if I have regrets, or if I have doubts, or if I've failed at something?"

"Thank you. That is all I wished to know." He nodded at her and turned to Andreina. "Andreina Cousland. Last child of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland, and, at this time, heir to Highever." As the Guardian spoke to Andreina, Ildri felt a large, warm hand come down on her shoulder. She glanced over at Sten.

"Leave the past where it falls." He murmured, for her ears only.

"Thank you." Ildri whispered in response. He bowed his head and removed his hand, and Ildri looked back at Andreina.

"What is it you wish to know?" She asked, ever polite.

"You abandoned your mother and father, leaving them in the hands of Rendon Howe, knowing he would show no mercy. Do you believe you failed your parents?" Andreina's eyes shone with tears as she answered.

"No… no, I didn't. I had – I _have_ a duty to my family's name and honor. If I had remained, Howe's goals would have been successful."

"Then you do not dwell on past mistakes – neither yours, nor someone else's." The Guardian nodded to her, then looked up at Sten.

"Demand whatever answers you want, spirit." He spat.

"You came to this land as an observer, but you killed a family in blind rage. Have you failed your people, by allowing a Qunari to be seen in that light?"

"I have never denied that I failed." The giant ground out. Ildri reached out and put a hand on his forearm as the Guardian looked away.

"What I must do, so should you." Ildri whispered up at him.

"Sometimes it is difficult to do." He admitted.

"I know." She replied, patting his arm.

"Alistair, knight and Warden… you wonder if things would have been different, if you were with Duncan on the battlefield. You could have shielded him from the killing blow. You wonder, don't you? If you should have died, and not him?"

"I… yes. If Duncan had been saved, and not me, everything would be better. If I'd just had the chance, maybe… maybe things wouldn't be in such dire straits right now." Alistair replied, his shoulders sagging.

"Riordan… you claim that Fereldan is your home, yet you took to the Game like one born to it. Do you ever doubt that conniving with the Empr –"

"Of course I doubt." Riordan interrupted. "You cannot so much as be in the same room as _La Lionne_ without being plagued by doubts."

"The way is open. Good luck, and may you find what you seek." As the Guardian spoke, he began to grow brighter, until there was a quick flash of light and he was gone. Ildri looked to the four of her companions who'd chosen to come into the temple. Andreina was giving Riordan pointed glances, which he was steadfastly ignoring, but Alistair and Sten just looked back at her.

"Let's go, then." Ildri gestured towards the now-open door that the Guardian had been… well, guarding. She stepped up to and through it, looking around the chamber that she was now in. It was a large room with four small alcoves along each wall. Three ghostly figures stood in the middle of the room – a bald elven man, a haughty-looking human woman with fiery red hair, and a human man in furred mage robes but wielding a greatsword. "What do you guys make of this?" Ildri asked. Silence. She glanced over her shoulder, looking for Sten, and saw… no one. "Shit…" The door had closed behind her and she was unable to open it. When she pressed her ear to the door, she couldn't hear a thing. "No way out but forward, then." She murmured, stepping towards the ghostly figures, approaching the elf man first.

"I'd neither a guest nor a trespasser be; in this place I belong, that belongs also to me. Of what do I speak?"

"Home." Ildri breathed. "You're talking about a home." Snippets of memories from the Denerim Alienage played in her mind as the figure nodded.

"It was my dream for the people to have a home of their own, where we would have no masters but ourselves. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and thus we followed Andraste, against the Imperium. But She was betrayed… and so were we."

"Oh, Maker." Ildri choked. "You… you're Shartan. You led the elves, fighting at Andraste's side." The figure – no, Shartan – nodded with a smirk on his ethereal lips before fading from sight. Ildri took a few deep breaths before sidestepping in front of the human woman.

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." She intoned. "The debt of blood must be paid in full."

"Vengeance." This time, it was memories of the fight with Vaughan Kendells that played through her mind.

"Yes." The woman smiled broadly, her chin raising a few increments. "My husband, Hessarian, would have chosen a quick death for Andraste. I made him swear that She would die publicly, with Her war leaders, so that all would know the Imperium's strength. I am justice. I am _vengeance_. Blood can only be repaid in blood." The woman faded, just as Shartan had, so Ildri stepped towards the human man.

"She wields the broken sword, and separates true kings from tyrants. Of what do I speak?"

"Wait, what?" Ildri asked, frowning. He repeated the riddle, and Ildri tapped her lip with her forefinger as she thought. The first part of the riddle gave her no hints, but the second part did. _True kings from tyrants. _"Mercy?" She guessed, and was relieved when the figure nodded.

"Yes. I could not bear the sight of Andraste's suffering, and mercy bade me end Her life. I am the penitent sinner, who shows compassion as he hopes it will be shown to him."

"Archon Hessarian." Ildri concluded, nodding to herself. He returned the gesture as he, too, faded. There was a loud clanking sound, and a large pair of doors on the far side of the room opened before her. She approached the door, keeping an eye out for her companions. There was a figure standing just past the door, but they were too short to be anyone she was looking for. Even though they did look oddly familiar….

"Hey." _I'd know that voice anywhere._

"Shianni!" Ildri smiled at her cousin for a moment before remembering where she was. "You're not real, are you?" It was more a statement than a question.

"Who else?" Shianni shrugged. "It's good to see you, I guess. Life's been good to you out there, hasn't it? You're respected, even among humans. Do you remember us? Where you came from, and what some of us still face every day?"

"How could I forget? That was my _life._ I can't just roll over and decide to forget everything that ever happened to me." She reached out to put her hand on Shianni's shoulder, but she took a step back. "I wish I could do more for you. I tried to come and see you, but the Alienage was locked down."

"It's good to know you're still thinking about us." Shianni gave her a small smile before turning serious again. "What happened… it wasn't really your fault. You were caught in the situation, just like the rest of us."

"I've never blamed myself for the incident in general, I just know that there's more that I could have done for you."

"But you don't need to blame yourself anymore. Come visit me, you'll see." Shianni gave her a warm smile. "You have a great task to complete. I want you to take this. I think you should have it." Shianni took one of Ildri's hands and placed something in it.

"I'll see you… the _real_ you, anyway, as soon as I can. I miss you all." Her eyes began to water, and she wiped the tears away before they could fall. There was no answer, and when she raised her head, she was alone in the hall. She looked down at her hand, and saw a necklace – a plain, beaded necklace, not dissimilar to one you would find in an Alienage home. _This actually reminds me of the one Mama used to wear._ She slipped the necklace over her head and continued down the hall. There was another figure, and she walked up behind them.

"Ildri, my girl. Is it really you?" Ildri was stunned when the figure turned around to face her, and she recognized her mother.

"Mama?" She spoke softly, almost scared that a loud noise would turn Adaia to dust.

"Yes, it's me. And we have quite a few things to discuss, young lady." Adaia shook a finger at her, and Ildri couldn't help but grin.

"Mama, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, darling girl, but we don't exactly have a lot of time to talk." Adaia pointed out.

"I know. What do you want to talk about?"

"You're not going to like everything that we talk about, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed." Ildri nodded, waiting for her mother to continue speaking. "I know that you're only sixteen, but if you have decided that _you_ are the only one who can be the leader, you need to start acting like one."

"What do you mean?" Ildri asked. "I thought that I'd been doing pretty good."

"'Pretty good' isn't enough." Adaia replied. "You need to let go of your anger. There are many choices in your future, and you're not going to be able to choose effectively if you're being blindsided by hatred and prejudice." Ildri opened her mouth to argue, but her mother held up a hand, asking for silence. "You are doing the exact same thing to humans that you absolutely _abhor_ them doing to you in turn." Ildri raised a brow in a silent question. "You are judging them all to be no different from one another without having even spoken to them. You assume that they're all going to hate you and look down upon you for being an elf. You don't give them a chance… you need to learn mercy, and forgiveness."

"I… I guess you have a point." Ildri crossed her arms across her chest and shuffled her feet.

"We aren't the only ones who suffer, you know." Adaia said softly. "You heard Andreina, didn't you? Maybe you should speak to her about what happened to her family. You should ask after her stories of the Orlesian Occupation."

"I've heard stories about the Occupation, Mama. You told them to me." Ildri argued, and her mother shook her head.

"She will have other stories for you to hear. Her family fought in the Occupation, too."

"If you think that's best." Ildri sighed.

"I do think that's best." Adaia's lips parted in a smile, and she opened her arms. "Come here, Ildri." Ildri threw herself into her mother's arms and hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Mama. I'm going to miss you."

"I love you too, dearest." Adaia pressed her lips to Ildri's brow. "I am so very proud of you, my girl. Please be safe. And when you see Loghain… tell him Adaia sends her regards."

"What?" Ildri started, looking to her mother, but she was already gone. Ildri sighed heavily, feeling tears build up once more. _She's right. Who the fuck am I kidding, I'm just a kid, and they all know it._ She fell to her knees, her chest aching from the effort to hold her tears back.

"Oh, now you're going to cry? 'Woe is me', and all that?" Ildri froze, shocked.

"It can't be…" She whispered, lifting her head. Vaughan Kendells stood not five feet from her. "I killed you."

"Your knife-ear mother's dead too, and you saw her." He sneered at her. "So why can't I be here, too?"

"Because I don't _want_ you here!" She snapped. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"You have one person tell you that you can't run around doing whatever the fuck you want, and you fall to pieces?" He scoffed. "If that's the case, then you may as well give up now."

"That's rich, coming from you." She replied.

"Ah, but I'm dead. I don't have the lives of an entire country, if not the entirety of Thedas sitting on my shoulders." He shrugged. "All in all, I don't matter much. Unless, of course, you succeed in this quest of yours."

"What do you care?" She spat. "You're dead."

"It's not about me, it's about you." He replied. "Do you really want me, of all people, seeing you like this?"

"You're not even real!" She shot back.

"Ah, your head knows that, but does your pride?" He smirked. "Logic and emotions don't really go well together." The last thing she wanted to do was admit that he was right, but he was. She fought with her rage and anger for control, because she wanted to kill him. Again. Ildri rose to her feet, and while part of her screamed to kill him, another part urged her to calm down. _He's got to be here for something __**other**__ than making me want to kill him all over again. _

"What the fuck do you want?" Ildri ground out.

"While that knife-ear urged you to let go of your hatred, I'm here to encourage it." He took a few slow steps towards her, and Ildri urged herself to remain still. "I have to say, this new Arl of Denerim seems to be off to a good start." He commented. "He's already had a Purge – that's got to be some kind of record. Still, he needs to keep you dirty creatures in your place." _Deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. _"Still, what else can one expect from a Howe?" Ildri's gaze snapped towards him, and he chuckled. "I'm surprised that you didn't put the pieces together yet. That guard at the Alienage told you that Howe was the new Arl of Denerim… and poor Andreina Cousland's family was put to the sword… by Arl Howe." For the second time that day, Ildri felt as though she'd taken a blow to the stomach. She wrapped her arms around herself and held tightly. _Oh Maker… I fucked up. I really, really, __**really**__ fucked up. _"I wonder if he's learned yet, exactly who was involved in that little incident? Or what he's doing to them? I'm sure it's something rather… gruesome." Vaughan laughed, and the sound sent shivers down her spine. "Or perhaps he's using inventive methods to get the information? After all, it hasn't been that long since that day." _Breathe in, breathe out. _"All that effort for one knife-eared whore… and look what it caused. When you return to Denerim, take a good look in the Alienage. But remember, everything that you see in there is _your fault._" Ildri clenched her hands into fists to keep them at her sides. "No matter what anyone outside of this room ever says, you and I know the truth. All those deaths, from the Purge and the plague and whatever else has happened since you've been gone is _all your fault_." He said the last few words in a sing-song voice.

"I KNOW THAT!" Ildri exploded. "You think I haven't fucking thought about that already? Do you think that I don't see something every single damned day that reminds me of _something_ from the Alienage? Then I remember that I single-handedly fucked over the Alienage. Do you have _any_ idea how guilty I feel about that? No, you fucking don't! So why don't you just take your holier-than-thou, bigoted, self-centered attitude, and shove it up your ass!" When she was finished, Vaughan disintegrated, as though she'd destroyed him with nothing more than her words. She heard the next door open, but she stood there for a while to regain control over her emotions.

"You have passed this portion of your test, pilgrim." Ildri heard the Guardian speaking, but didn't look up. "You may proceed."

"What… was the purpose of this test?" Ildri asked.

"The test of oneself. To see if you could overcome your own darker nature."

"And if I had failed?"

"You would have been unable to proceed further. You would have, in all likelihood, returned to the entrance. After you left, you would be unable to return for the remainder of your lifetime." The Guardian explained.

"Well… that's good to know." She replied. She took a few deep breaths and walked into the next room. The door past that room was still closed, and she couldn't open it. So, she decided to sit down and wait for the others. Sten was the next one to enter the room. He seemed to be more quiet than usual, somehow, so Ildri remained silent. Alistair was after him, and he crossed the room and leaned on the wall before sliding to the floor.

"So… was that just as odd and uncomfortable for you as it was for me?" He asked, but the humor fell short. They sat in silence until Andreina entered the room. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and Alistair leapt to his feet when he saw her.

"Are you all right?" Ildri heard him whisper.

"I've been better." She murmured. "Riordan's not back yet?"

"Nope." Ildri answered. "But the Guardian told me that these trials aren't fatal – not the ones we just passed, anyway, so if we don't see him in a while it just means that he was sent back to the entrance."

"How long do you think we should wait for him?" Andreina asked.

"Maybe until after I have a snack." She replied.

"Do you have any cheese?" Alistair piped up.

"No, you ate it all, you damned cheese hound."

"What can I say?" Alistair grinned. "I have a nose for cheese."

"I wish you had a nose for when you need to take a bath." She grumbled, and Alistair chuckled. Ildri fished some bread out of her pack and threw a hunk at Alistair.

"Is it poisoned?" He asked, inspecting it. "Or moldy?"

"What, I can't give you some bread without there being something wrong with it?" Ildri asked, taking a bite of her own piece.

"Did you hit your head in there? Or are you Ildri's not-so-evil twin?"

"Why don't you ask your Warden senses?" _Am I really such a bitch that I can't even share food without people thinking I'm trying to kill them?_ "There's nothing wrong with it, Alistair."

"I guess that can't lie to me." He conceded, referencing the Warden senses. "But if I fall over dead tomorrow, I'm blaming you." Ildri scoffed and got to her feet, intent on checking the door again.

"Hey, I'm just joking around." Alistair said. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't offend me, Alistair." Ildri told him. "I did." She offered no further explanation as she tested the door – this time it swung open easily. "Well, that tells us something. I don't think it was going to open until we all got back, so this means that Riordan's probably not coming." She took another bite of bread and looked through the door.

"What's over there?" Andreina asked.

"Not much." Ildri replied after swallowing. "But there's a huge hole in the floor in the next room. I wonder what it's for?"

"Perhaps it was used to dispose of the most annoying of this Andraste's followers." Sten grumbled.

"Humor? From you? Hold up, we need to mark this on the calendar!" Alistair cried out.

"You probably shouldn't antagonize him. After all, you don't want him to decide you're one of the 'annoying followers', do you?" Ildri remarked.

"Hmm… fair point." He allowed, and Ildri smirked. She quickly finished her piece of bread then led the way into the next room. Surrounding the large hole where eight squares that came up and out of the floor, four on either side. They didn't do around completely, however, there was a large gap on either side that Ildri knew that she, at least, would be unable to jump.

"Thoughts?" She asked, looking back at her companions. Andreina walked over to one of the squares and looked closely at it.

"I think it's a puzzle." She mused, still inspecting the squares. Alistair walked over to her and accidentally stepped on it. When he did, an opaque square appeared over the chasm with an odd noise.

"Is anyone here any good at puzzles?" Ildri asked her companions.

"I've always enjoyed puzzles." Andreina admitted quietly.

"All right. This part is your show." Ildri gestured towards the chasm.

"Are you sure?" Andreina asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead." Ildri waved her arm again. "You do _not_ want me trying to figure out a puzzle." Andreina nodded and began giving orders, shuffling them from square to square. She was the one who went out onto the bridge as it appeared, and was the first one across the chasm.

"A Blight ravages the land, and here we are, playing with switches and stepping stones." Sten growled, and Ildri suppressed a chuckle. _It wouldn't do to have him think I'm laughing __**at**__ him._ The final room had a wall of fire, but past it there was a large dais, and a statue of Andraste with a flame in one hand and the other over her breast. On their side of the fire stood an ancient altar, and Ildri stepped up to inspect it.

"_Cast off the… trap… __**trappings**__ of worldly life and cloak yourself in the… the goodness of the spirit. King and slave, lord and beggar; be born anew in the Maker's sight."_ Ildri read aloud, struggling in places.

"That's very good. You've really improved." Alistair commented.

"Just 'cause I can read it doesn't mean I can understand it." Ildri grumbled. "What the fuck are trappings?"

"Only _you_ would swear when we're in sight of Andraste's earthly remains." Alistair sighed.

"I think… I think we're supposed to undress." Andreina commented, her cheeks scarlet.

"What makes you think that?" Ildri asked.

"Trappings are possessions, or things. 'Cast off the things of this world', is essentially what the first part says."

"All righty, then." Ildri removed her blades and set them down on the ground. She began to unbutton her shirt, but looked up when she heard Alistair make an odd noise. "What?"

"Nothing!" was the strangled reply she got. She shrugged and continued undressing. While she was still a virgin, the naked body wasn't something she had never seen before. She had often shared baths with Shianni and Soris, although the latter had stopped sharing sometime after they'd all turned twelve. The body wasn't something to be ashamed of, it just was. Seeing as Sten was wearing less than everyone else, he was the first to be fully undressed, followed shortly by Ildri.

"Are all elves so… small?" Sten asked, looking over at her.

"I'm actually taller than most elven women." She informed him, studying him in turn. _Not bad looking at all._

"Are the two of you just going to ogle each other all day?" Andreina called over. The woman was trying to cover herself with her hands, and doing a poor job of it. "Or can we get moving?"

"By all means." Ildri smirked at her then stepped towards the fire. When she reached it she paused to look at it. It wasn't giving off any heat or making any of the crackling sounds one associated with natural fire. _So, definitely magical fire._ She put a hand into the fire, and when it didn't burn, she stepped through. Her extremities tingled and she felt something cool wash over her skin as she stepped through. She turned back around to face her companions and beckoned them to walk through. Sten followed next, then Andreina and Alistair. As Alistair stepped through, the Guardian appeared in the fire.

"You have been through the trails of the Gauntlet; you have walked the path of Andraste, and like her, you have been cleansed." The Guardian intoned. "You have proven yourselves worthy, and may approach the Sacred Ashes." He faded from view and the fire died. Andreina quickly ran over to her gear to put it back on.

"What if we're supposed to go up to it naked?" Ildri teased.

"Then Andraste will have to forgive me." Andreina replied.

"Congratulations. You've found your pot of holy dirt." Sten grumbled, and Ildri laughed.

"What is it with you two? 'Fancy-assed pot', 'pot of holy dirt'…" Alistair shook his head. "Must you be so irreverent?"

"Just be glad that Morrigan stayed behind." Ildri pointed out.

"I am glad, but still."

"Andraste did a good thing for the elves, but her Chantry turned its back on us." Ildri explained.

"Can you be… I don't know, but not so callous about this?" He pleaded.

"I'll be more impressed with these Ashes if they actually work. Until then, I'm reserving judgment."

"Fair enough, I suppose." Alistair sighed and put his gear back on. Ildri seriously contemplated walking up to the Ashes in nothing in her skin, but she didn't want Andreina to have a fit. So she too returned to her pile of gear to get dressed. When the four of them were clothed once more, they crossed the room and walked up the stairs on the dais to stand at the feet of Andraste's statue.

"By the Maker…" Andreina breathed. "I can't believe we found it!"

"I didn't think anyone could succeed in finding Andraste's final resting place… least of all _us_. But here it – here She is." Alistair spoke. Ildri allowed them their moment, and then approached the Urn. The lid was heavier than she'd thought it would be, but she got it off and set it to the side. She pulled a leather pouch from her belt and held it close while she took a large pinch of Ashes.

"They're warm." She said to the room at large. She stepped back from the Urn and gestured to her companions. "I'm not the only one who made it through the trials. Go ahead." Andreina approached first, then Alistair. Sten made no move to approach the Ashes. "Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes." Sten nodded his head. Ildri shrugged her shoulders and stepped forward to put the lid back on.

"We should probably get back to the others." Ildri mentioned.

"Yes… Riordan returning without us might have put them a bit on edge." Alistair agreed.

"I wonder what caused him to fail?" Andreina murmured.

"Well, that's something you're not going to ask him. None of us are."

"I wasn't suggesting –"

"Good. Neither was I, I was just getting a point across." Ildri cut in. "Now, shall we get going?" There was a pair of doors on either side of the last room, and they both led the party outside. They walked back to the front of the building and re-entered through the main doors.

"Here they are, safe and sound!" Nadia exclaimed upon seeing them. "We started to worry when Riordan came back without you."

"Yes, we must have gotten separated." Ildri said before any of her companions could reply. "I don't know for sure what happened. You all right?" She asked Riordan.

"All I have injured is my pride." He admitted with a small smile. "Do you have the Ashes?"

"Yep, right here." Ildri patted the pouch on her hip. "How about the rest of you, are you all right?"

"I have some small news." Morrigan broke in. "While we were awaiting your return, I collected some of the dragon's blood. As much as I thought we could carry, as a matter of fact."

"I take it it's valuable?" Ildri remarked.

"Very valuable, and rare. If we were to take this to the Wonders of Thedas shop in Denerim, we could gain a small fortune."

"Good. That's awesome." Ildri smiled over at the witch. "Hey, do you know what parts of the dragon they use to make armor?"

"I had thought you might want to make use of that. We will have to carry it down the mountain, but the dwarf merchant should still be waiting for us in the village."

"All right! You damn near read my mind." Ildri smiled up at her.

"'Tis only common sense." She scoffed, but Ildri saw a small smile on her lips all the same. Barkspawn chose that moment to greet his mistress. She didn't notice him until he'd almost knocked her over.

"Hey boy! Did you miss me?" She squatted in front of him and rubbed his face and neck. He licked her face in response. "It's good to see you too."

* * *

><p>They made their way back into the temple and found Genitivi. He'd not moved much further than the entrance, and was still studying.<p>

"You're back! Did you find it?" He asked, hobbling over to them. Ildri removed the pouch the Ashes were in and showed them to him. "Oh…oh my." He swallowed, and Ildri could hear his heart pounding in his chest. _Wait, what? I must be imagining things._ "What was it like, coming to the Urn?"

"There were tests. I don't think I'll tell you all about them, but I'll definitely tell you some of it."

"Thank you." He stammered, smiling. "We have to tell people about this!"

"I'd appreciate it if you withheld my name. I can't speak for the others on this, though."

"Of course, I can do that." Genitivi agreed quickly.

"I hope those Ashes are self-replenishing." Alistair broke in.

"I'm pretty sure that Andraste can take care of Herself. Her, or the Guardian."

"What Guardian?" Genitivi asked.

"I'll tell you about it later. Why don't you travel to Redcliffe with us? We're planning on going to Denerim afterwards, and you'll be able to see the Ashes put to work." Ildri offered. "We have a wagon that you can ride in, if necessary."

"Thank you very much." He replied, bowing his head.

* * *

><p><em><strong>La Lionne<strong>_** – French for 'The Lioness'**

**Vaughan is replacing the fight with the shadow-selves. I thought that it would be easy enough to defeat 'yourself' in a fight, especially with others to help you. I figured it would be a lot harder to fight against yourself like this.**

**If you have any suspicions or questions about Riordan's talk with the Guardian, please PM me. I would appreciate having spoiler-free reviews. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to olivebgb and Melfice-sama for the follow/fave!**

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><p>They made good time to Redcliffe, taking far less time getting out of the mountains than they had in climbing them. When they arrived, Ildri was surprised to see the villagers come up to them.<p>

"Thank you, my lady."

"Maker keep you, my lady."

"Maker bless the Wardens!"

"They seem rather happy to see us." Ildri commented to Nadia.

"I'm just as surprised by this as you are." The dwarf confessed. Over in the wagon, Genitivi was talking to Andreina. He had pumped the four of them – Ildri, Andreina, Alistair, and Sten – on all the information that they were willing to give him about the Gauntlet. Ildri hadn't revealed that Riordan had accompanied them but failed, and she didn't think that any of the others had, either. Ildri had thought of asking Andreina about what had happened at Highever, but it never seemed to be the right time for such things. So, Ildri decided that no matter what, she was going to ask before they left Redcliffe. They headed up to the castle, and Teagan rushed out to meet them.

"You've returned!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms open. "And I see that you have more people with you this time."

"Yes. We rescued Brother Genitivi in Haven, and he helped guide us to the Ashes." Ildri explained. She wasn't going to announce Andreina's presence unless the woman asked her to.

"So you found them? You have them with you?"

"I have what I was permitted to take." She replied.

"Then let us head up to see my brother." He gestured for them to enter. "Isolde will, perhaps, finally calm down."

"I only brought one miracle with me." Ildri pointed out, and the nobleman chuckled.

"Indeed."

* * *

><p>The Guerrin family healer had prepared a tonic for Eamon, and had directed Ildri to put the Ashes into it. She had, being very careful to make sure no one saw how much she had left. Teagan had invited them upstairs, but Ildri had declined on her own behalf.<p>

"Alistair may want to come up, but I'm a stranger, and this is definitely a time for close friends and family." Teagan had given them the run of the estate, and had offered them the same rooms they'd used when they had been there previously. That left Genitivi, Riordan, Andreina and Zevran without rooms for the time being, however. He had been trying to find servants to get them rooms while agonizing over his brother. "I don't think that not having a room in the next while is going to hurt them any." Ildri pointed out. "Go on upstairs, we'll be fine."

"Thank you, Warden. I will find you when Eamon feels he is ready for company." Ildri nodded, and he went on his way.

"Andy, you can put your things in my room for now, if you'd like." Ildri offered.

"Thank you. Would you come with me? I don't know which one is yours."

"I wanted to speak with you about something anyway." Ildri confessed.

"Really? Me, too." The woman replied.

"You wanted to talk to yourself about something?" Ildri smirked at her.

"You know very well what I meant."

"Just trying to lighten the mood." Ildri defended, still smirking. They walked in silence the rest of the way to Ildri's room, and she shut the door behind them when they entered.

"How important was what you wanted to talk about?" The noblewoman asked.

"Just a few questions about your family." She replied, and the other woman's face went dark.

"Do you think they're traitors, too?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ildri asked. "I wanted to ask about what Howe did. In the Gauntlet, my mother told me to ask you."

"Oh." Andreina sat down on the bed. "If you don't mind, I'd like to tell you about something else first."

"That's fine."

"When the Guardian talked to Riordan in the Gauntlet, he didn't let the Guardian finish. 'You claim that Fereldan is your home, yet you took to the Game like one born to it.'"

"I remembered that he interrupted, but not the whole thing. Damn girl, you've got a good memory."

"It's just as often a curse as it is a blessing." The woman blanched. "Anyway, do you know what the Game is?"

"From the way you're stressing it, I'm assuming you're not talking about hopscotch." Ildri deadpanned.

"It's Orlesian. The Grand Game is the term applied to the politics and machinations of the nobles and rulers of Orlais. It's really complicated, and usually not an easy thing for people who didn't grow up with it to understand. The purpose is one-upmanship of rivals, and there is only one rule: nothing is forbidden as long as you're not caught." Ildri raised her brows.

"So what is Riordan doing fucking around in Orlesian politics?" Ildri murmured, leaning against the wall and folding her arms.

"A very good question, especially about a member of an order that's supposed to be politically neutral." Andreina agreed. "But it's the next part that worries me, and it should worry you. 'Do you ever doubt that conniving with the Empr –'… and that's where Riordan interrupts, mentioning _La Lionne_. I don't think he expected any of us to understand it."

"It sounds Orlesian." Ildri commented.

"It is. My father made sure that both Fergus and I could read and speak it. _La Lionne_ means 'the lioness' – one of the many nicknames of the Orlesian Empress."

"Andraste's flaming fucking sword." Ildri cursed. "He's not playing at politics with just _any_ Orlesian. No, he has to go and fuck around with the Maker-forsaken Empress." Ildri groaned and put her face in her hands.

"Well, technically, you can't really give him a hard time for that." Andreina cut in. "You're playing politics, too."

"I'm only 'playing' to the point where they're not interfering with the Blight. Then I'm done." Ildri pointed out, raising her head. "But I can see your point. But my point is, I'm not the one playing politics with someone who learned it in swaddling clothes."

"What are you going to do?" Andreina queried.

"Nothing, yet. I need a Warden to stay in Denerim – other than Alistair – to work on getting stuff together for us to kill Archie. The Archdemon." Ildri explained at the other woman's raised brow.

"Can't Alistair do that?"

"I think he'll be busy enough doing king-y shit. And even if he does have time, I want Riordan out of my hair. Even more now, after this. I actually talked to him about it after we killed that high dragon, and he seemed to accept my reasoning." Ildri sighed, thinking. "Don't act any different around him. I can't afford to have him fuck off 'cause he thinks we're onto him. And whatever you do, don't tell Alistair."

"Yes, I can see why." Andreina chuckled. "He really is an open book, isn't he?"

"Damn skippy." Ildri sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, tapping it a couple times. "Do you feel up to telling me about your family? I've figured out a few things, but you can just go over what I miss, if you want."

"Thank you." Andreina replied, nodding.

"The night we met, I told you about the Purge Howe had called down on the Alienage, and your only reply was 'you too?' so, I figured that for some reason, Howe came in and…"

"He was one of my father's closest friends for _years_." Andreina spat. "They fought side-by-side in the Occupation, and thirty-odd years of freedom and friendship later, he turns around and _slaughters_ my family in the dead of night. No one was safe. My seven-year-old nephew was dead. My sister-in-law, who was pregnant with her and Fergus' second child. All the servants – human or elven. No one in that castle was safe."

"How did you get out?" Ildri asked gently. _Mama was right. Humans are just as horrible to each other as they are to us._

"Mother and Father's room is next to mine. Mother was there, but Father had been up with Howe. Mother and I made our way through the castle, fighting Howe's men as we went. We eventually got to the larder, and the servants' entrance. Howe's men didn't know about it. Father was there – Howe had literally stabbed him in the back, but Father got away to wait for us there. He'd lost so much blood. I knew in my head that there was nothing I could do for him, but my heart wouldn't accept it. Mother and Father had to order me out of the castle – Howe could be planning to ambush Fergus, and someone needed to warn him. Mother refused to leave Father's side, so it was me. I got out and was about halfway to Ostagar when I first heard word that the darkspawn had won that battle. I went to Denerim to see if I could get justice for my family, and discovered that Howe had told Loghain that my family was conspiring with Orlais. That they – that _we_ – were traitors. And Loghain believed him. Whatever the proof was, it must have been a really good forgery."

"I'm so sorry." Ildri breathed. "I never would have asked –"

"No, it's… well, not _fine_, but you still needed to know." Andreina interrupted.

"Do you have any idea why he might have done it?" Ildri pressed.

"No. I never suspected a thing."

"Would you be satisfied with having your name cleared and him being put on trial? We're probably going to see him in Denerim, so I need to know if you're going to freak out and attack him or not."

"I'm a Cousland. I can control myself." Andreina scoffed.

"I'm not trying to offend you. I don't know a whole lot about nobles, so I needed to ask."

"I understand." Andreina replied. "If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for a while."

"Of course." Ildri left the room and closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Teagan came down a few hours later wearing a broad smile.<p>

"Eamon has recovered. The healer wished him to remain upstairs tonight, however, so you will need to wait until morning to speak with him."

"That's all right." Ildri replied. "I'm just glad that the Ashes worked."

"As are we all." Teagan agreed. "If there is anything that I can ever do, you need only ask."

"If you can do everything within your power to help convince him to call the Landsmeet as soon as possible, I would be grateful." She informed him. "We need to put an end to this civil war."

"I will see what I can do."

"That's all I can ask." She nodded. "Thank you." Teagan returned the gesture before leaving. He arranged rooms for Zevran, Riordan, Genitivi, and Andreina. She'd still not come out of Ildri's room, so she went to tell Andreina herself. When she knocked on the door there was no answer, so she opened it to see that the noblewoman had cried herself to sleep. Smiling sadly to herself, she left the room. She went down to the library and saw Teagan there.

"I asked the servants to find your newest female companion to show her to a room, but they tell me they were unable to find her."

"You needn't worry. She accidentally fell asleep in my room." Ildri explained. "I'll go to her room when I'm tired."

"You seem to be collecting companions at a prodigious rate." He commented.

"With four Wardens and two mabari, it's not surprising how quickly we go through food." Ildri laughed.

"One of your new companions is a Warden?"

"Yes, the human man, Riordan. The elf is actually an Antivan Crow that Howe and Loghain sent after us."

"You let him live?" Teagan asked, surprised.

"He hasn't tried anything like it since. And Nadia's got him… well in hand." Ildri smirked as the double entendre went over the nobleman's head.

"The woman… she looks familiar." He began, and Ildri shook her head.

"I can't comment on that, because it's not my secret to tell. She'll probably tell you and your brother herself tomorrow, and she won't appreciate me stealing her thunder."

"As you will, then." He replied, bowing his head.

"Thank you." She returned the gesture, then began to peruse the books. They all appeared to be dull, dry historical and religious texts.

"I take it you have rather particular plans for the Landsmeet, considering you want Eamon to call for it so quickly." Teagan pressed.

"There are some variables still." Ildri prevaricated. "Some things can't be planned for until I can actually speak to Loghain or Anora."

"You think that Loghain may yet listen to reason?"

"Everyone has a weakness. It's only a matter of finding and exploiting it. If there is a way to end this civil war without any more bloodshed, then I'll take it."

"Even sparing Loghain?"

"Yes, even though you could argue that his actions led directly to the deaths of Cailan and the Grey Wardens. 'Treachery' is one word that's thrown around a lot when it comes to him."

"It's true, you can't deny that." Teagan argued.

"There's no way of knowing whether or not Cailan would have survived, even if Loghain hadn't retreated. Actually, it could also be argued that he chose the best available option – retreat, and keep more men alive to fight the 'spawn another day."

"With all due respect, Warden, you have little knowledge of these things."

"With all due respect, Teagan, you weren't there. You didn't see how many darkspawn there were."

"I didn't realize that we were on a first-name basis with one another." Teagan raised a brow.

"I haven't 'my lord'-ed or 'my lady'-ed to anyone my entire life. I'm not about to start now." Ildri scoffed.

"Let us say, for a moment, that Loghain's intent was not to betray Cailan. Why, then, would he accuse the Wardens of leading him to his death?"

"I have reason to believe that there were some Wardens playing at politics with Empress Celene." Ildri confessed. "For all we know, there _could_ have been a Warden plot to have Cailan killed."

"How did you learn that?" Teagan asked.

"I can't tell you. And I have to ask that you don't speak of this in front of the others, especially Alistair. He viewed Duncan as the father figure your brother never was."

"I cannot blame him." Teagan admitted. "Alistair was never treated very well here."

"What was your brother thinking? Raising a child in a stable…" Ildri shook her head. "We weren't living in the lap of luxury in the Alienage, but we didn't share with animals, either."

"Alistair was living proof of Maric's indiscretion. He may have perceived it as a slight to Rowan, our sister."

"But didn't Rowan die a few years before Alistair was even born? So I don't understand that line of thinking." Ildri countered.

"You may have to ask him yourself. I am only speculating."

"Believe me, I plan to." She growled. "Both him and Isolde."

"If you are planning to give Isolde a piece of your mind, please wait until I am in the room." Teagan smirked over at her.

"Try not to enjoy it too much." Ildri quipped. "I think that I will go outside."

"Good night, Warden." Teagan called after her. She left the castle through the main door and walked down the hill into the village. It was rather late at night, so there was little light shining out of windows. Ildri paused in the village square and looked at the houses. _There's the blacksmith's house. I hope he's cut back on the drinking, especially with his daughter back. That's the house where that little boy was hiding in. I wonder if he and his sister got to Denerim safely? _She saw a short, stout figure walking through the square, and she recognized it as Dwyn, the stubborn old dwarf living in the village.

"Evenin', Warden." He hailed her. He walked over to her, and Ildri noticed the large sword strapped to his back.

"Good evening, Dwyn." She replied. "That sword's a little big, isn't it?"

"Of course it is, it's a Qunari blade." He scoffed.

"Really? Where did you get it?"

"I bought if off a guy who'd found a group of the oxmen dead near Lake Calenhad." He answered, and Ildri's' brows rose.

"That's interesting. You've probably noticed, by this point, that I am traveling with a Qunari. He and his Beresaad were attacked by darkspawn at Lake Calenhad."

"Yeah? What's your point?" He asked.

"There's a very good chance that those blades carry the darkspawn taint. You, and anyone who's touched them, could become extremely ill."

"Nug humper." He swore. "Is there something I could do about it?"

"You shouldn't even be handling them, never mind 'doing something' about them if they are tainted."

"But you could do something about it." He countered.

"I could, yes. If you brought them to me, I could make sure that they're no longer tainted." Ildri confirmed.

"What can turn that 'could' into a 'would'?"

"The blades themselves. My friend is sorely missing his sword, and seeing as he can't return his companions' remains to Seheron, their blades should do nicely."

"There's no way I can change your mind about that?" He wheedled, and Ildri shook her head.

"They view their swords as parts of themselves – just as you or I view our hands. He can't go home without his sword."

"I… fine, Warden, you win. I'll get the damned swords." Dwyn grumbled.

"Thank you. I'll come along, if you don't mind."

"I'll just be a minute." Dwyn walked into his house, and Ildri took the time to perform a small happy dance. Dwyn came back out of the house with the blades bundled together, to make them easier to carry. "There. All eight of them." Dwyn said, thrusting the bundle into her arms.

"Thank you, Dwyn." Ildri bowed her head to hide her smile.

"Yeah, okay. Now go on." He shook his head towards the castle. Once Dwyn had returned to the house, Ildri ran as fast as she could up the hill to the castle. Carrying eight great swords was a little awkward, but she managed it. Ildri hurried up the stairs to Morrigan's room and began pounding on the door.

"Yes, yes; I will be there presently." She heard the witch snarl.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late, but I need your help." Ildri called through the door. Morrigan opened the door and let her in.

"Better you than one of the servants." Morrigan growled. "What is it you needed?"

"I need you to throw some fire at these to make sure there's no taint on them." Ildri replied, depositing her bundle on the floor and opening it. "One of these is Sten's sword, the one he came here with. I want to make sure he gets it back."

"Leave them here tonight." Morrigan told her. "I will ensure that they are clear of the taint."

"Thank you, Morrigan." Ildri gave her a broad smile. "I hope that I didn't wake you. I want to surprise him."

"I do wonder why you go to such lengths to impress him." Morrigan commented.

"I'm not trying to impress him." Ildri frowned. "He can't go home without it. Would you want to be stranded in a country where there isn't anyone like you, where nothing is familiar?"

"I admit that it would be… daunting, to say the least." The witch replied.

"Alistair and Nadia are the only ones that actually have to come along with me on this thing. Well, Zevran too, I guess. But you and Sten didn't need to, and I want you to know that I appreciate your help. If there's anything that I can do for you, just let me know and I'll get it done." Ildri promised.

"I will keep it in mind." Morrigan gave her a small smile. "But as you said, it is rather late. You have to see the Arl in the morning, so I suggest that you get some sleep."

"Thank you again, Morrigan."

* * *

><p>Arl Eamon made his appearance at the breakfast table the next morning. In actuality, Ildri supposed he couldn't be more than a few years older than Teagan, but the poison and the resulting coma had greyed his hair and added lines to his face. Teagan rushed over to help him with his chair, but Eamon insisted that he didn't need it.<p>

"I may look like an old man, but I'm not one yet." Eamon looked around the table at Ildri's companions. Andreina was seated beside Alistair, but she kept her head down and didn't meet Eamon's eyes. At last, his eyes fell on Ildri. "I have been told that I have you to thank for the fact that Redcliffe still stands, and that both my wife and son are able to sit here with me today."

"Teagan told you the truth." She replied, not shirking from his gaze.

"Then I am in your debt. Would you allow me to offer you a reward for your services?"

"The only reward I will accept is you calling for a Landsmeet within the next month." Ildri informed him.

"As you well know, I woke from a coma that nothing but Andraste's Sacred Ashes could wake me from. Do you truly think that me calling a Landsmeet right now, and traveling to Denerim, would not be detrimental to my health?" Ildri bit her cheek to hold back a scathing reply and took a few deep breaths.

"Isn't the civil war detrimental to Ferelden's health? The longer this civil war rages, the further the darkspawn advance, and the more good men and women who could fight them are lost."

"True enough. You must have a plan of your own, if you wish for the Landsmeet so soon."

"I have a few ideas, yes. But I don't think that the breakfast table would be the best place for that conversation." Ildri pointed out.

"Perhaps afterwards, you and Alistair could join me in my study?"

"Alistair and I aren't the only Wardens, you know. There's also Nadia and Riordan." She gestured to the pair in turn.

"Then if you wish, they may accompany you." Eamon replied. Ildri only nodded, seeing as she didn't dare attempt speaking with her mouth so full of food. Eamon focused his attentions on his own food, and Ildri caught Andreina's eye and attempted to silently hint that she, too, should accompany the Wardens to Eamon's study. Either she had succeeded or the noblewoman had planned to come along anyway, because when Ildri arrived at the study after breakfast Andreina was standing with Alistair. Ildri had been the last to arrive because Morrigan had pulled her aside to inform her that the Qunari blades were waiting to be collected from the witch's room when she had the time. Eamon and Teagan were already in the room and the Arl was sitting behind the desk while his brother stood off to the side. There were only four other chairs, so Ildri allowed the others to sit and remained standing.

"How are you feeling?" Alistair asked the Arl.

"It is… an odd feeling. The Ashes cured more than just the poison, and I feel like a man twenty years my junior."

"I'm glad that you're feeling on top of the world, truly, but the Blight won't wait while we exchange pleasantries." Ildri cut in gently.

"I agree." Teagan added. "We have no idea what Loghain will do upon news of your recovery." He directed towards Eamon.

"I do not understand this." Eamon admitted. "I cannot see why Loghain would incite a war within our borders while the darkspawn nip at our heels. I have known him since the Occupation, and he was always a sensible man with no desire for power."

"It was difficult for me to understand at first as well." Teagan replied. "I stood in the Landsmeet chambers when he told us he was taking control of the throne. I do not know what happened to him, but the man I heard and spoke to that day was mad with ambition."

"Mad, indeed." Eamon agreed. "Mad enough to kill Cailan. Mad enough to attempt the same on myself and destroy my lands."

"If I may make a point here?" Ildri cut in. "As I said to Teagan last night, there is no way of knowing whether Cailan would have survived, even if Loghain had responded to the signal. And to repeat myself once more, it could be argued that Loghain made the best decision with the information he had."

"How can you take his side on this?" Alistair demanded. "Especially after he declared _us_ responsible?"

"I never said I was taking his 'side' on any of this." Ildri retorted. "The way I see it, it's us against the darkspawn. Not them and us, just _us_. That means all of Ferelden, up to and possibly including Loghain or his men. _That_ is why I want this Landsmeet called quickly. The more men we get fighting with each other instead of against each other means more men to combat the darkspawn."

"Do you have any ideas to take before the Landsmeet to ensure this?" Eamon asked.

"I'd like to hear your ideas first." Ildri demurred.

"I will spread word of Loghain's treachery, both here and against the king." Eamon began, and Ildri shook her head.

"We just talked about this. The Arls and Banns of Ferelden can argue until they're blue in the face and we still won't know all the answers about Ostagar. No, the only thing that we can even partly prove is here, that Loghain had you poisoned." Ildri paused for a moment, thinking. "Actually, scratch that. No one will accept the testimony of a mage, even if he wasn't a blood mage." Eamon didn't look too pleased that Ildri had interrupted, but nodded his acceptance.

"Then we must throw down the gauntlet and issue a challenge that he can scarce afford to ignore. We need someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Anora Mac Tir."

"You are referring to Alistair, then? Brother, are you certain?" Teagan asked.

"I would not propose such a thing if we had an alternative, but the unthinkable has occurred."

"Eamon, you _do_ realize that Alistair is sitting in the very same room as you, don't you?" Ildri pointed out. _Deep breaths. In through the nose… _

"Of course I do." He replied, frowning at her.

"Then why are you speaking about him as if he's not even here? And like he's just some…" Ildri trailed off, searching for the correct word. "…some piece of _meat_ that you're bartering over in the village square? Do you even care about him?"

"Ildri, this isn't necessary…" Alistair began.

"Yes, Alistair, it is." She interrupted. "This man raised you in a Maker-forsaken stable and told you your whole life that you were nothing more than a commoner, and would never amount to anything. And then, because he can't tell his harridan of a wife 'no', you were shipped off to the nearest Chantry to become a lyrium-swilling lunatic." She walked up to the desk, forcing Eamon to crane his neck to maintain eye contact. "I wonder what Maric or Rowan would say to you now."

"Do you have any better solutions?" Eamon snapped.

"Actually, I was planning on having Alistair take the throne, too. But not because 'the unthinkable has occurred'," she mocked, "but because even though he and I don't always get along, he's a decent guy. I think he'd make a great king. But he would need help." Eamon perked up a little at hearing this, and Ildri glowered at him for a moment. "I'd like to present to you our mystery companion." Ildri gestured towards Andreina before taking a few steps back.

"Good evening, gentlemen." Andreina began, rising to her feet. "My father often spoke of you both. He told me that you were honorable men. I can only hope that his faith in you is not as misplaced as his faith in Rendon Howe was."

"My Lady Cousland!" Teagan exclaimed, leaping to his feet. "I apologize, had I known that you were here I would have provided you with far better rooms." Eamon rose as well, shortly after his younger brother.

"My Lady, allow me to extend my condolences on behalf of your family." He intoned, bowing slightly.

"I thank you for your kind words. And the room is fine, Teagan. I'd actually prefer if you treated me just as you have treated the others for now. I do not wish for anyone outside this room to know who I am until the last possible moment."

"Do the rest of your companions know?" Eamon asked.

"Everyone but Brother Genitivi." Andreina informed them. "Outside of this room, I am Andy."

"Very well, my Lady." Eamon agreed. His eyes darted over to Alistair before returning to Andreina.

"You both are intelligent enough to determine our end goal; an alliance of marriage between the houses of Cousland and Theirin. Alistair and I have discussed this, and we are both amenable to such an arrangement."

"What will happen to Anora, then? I do not believe that she will give up her power easily." Eamon pointed out.

"I was thinking that we could give her a title in court." Ildri cut in. "Say whatever else you want of the woman, she's smart, and cares about Ferelden. She also doesn't have any personal agenda to push, from what I can tell. For five years, she ran Ferelden, not Cailan. She's got to have at least passing knowledge of damn near everything that happens in the capital, if not the country. Give her an advisory position – she'll probably be relatively satisfied, and you gain her contacts by extension."

"And what of Loghain himself?" Eamon pressed.

"I believe that Ferelden needs the Hero of River Dane." She replied slowly. "If there is a way to resolve this without his death, then I'll take it in a heartbeat."

"Even after what he did here, you would let him live?" Eamon demanded. "Why?"

"I don't know what's happened to him in the past year or so, but he's still got one of the best strategic minds around. We have him to thank for the fact that we're not all speaking Orlesian right now, and you all know that." Ildri paused a moment to gather her thoughts. "We need that mind. From what I understand, darkspawn are normally disorganized and easily routed – like a chicken with its head cut off. But with an Archdemon at their head, we're looking at an entirely new beast."

"Loghain's strategy failed at Ostagar." Eamon pointed out.

"You knew your nephew well, didn't you?" Ildri asked.

"Yes, I did. Of what relevance is that?"

"Then you know that Loghain would have prepped other strategies, but Cailan wouldn't hear of them. He was obsessed with gaining personal glory, and he fought in the vanguard with the Grey Wardens – where neither of them should have been."

"I understand Cailan, but why not the Wardens?" Eamon pressed. "You are supposed to be extremely well-suited to facing against darkspawn, correct? Or is that mere embellishment?"

"It's true, don't doubt that." Ildri defended. "But Duncan dropped the ball here, almost as much as Loghain himself did."

"That is _not_ true!" Alistair shouted. "You barely knew him! What makes you think that you can say whatever you want about him?"

"I am also wondering what makes you think this." Riordan cut in, speaking for the first time. Nadia had heard most of these arguments before, and so she remained silent.

"Eamon, there are some things that I can't tell you. That I _won't_ tell you. But I will tell you that there are some things that at least Cailan, if not Loghain, should have known about the Wardens. If Cailan had known that the darkspawn are drawn to the Wardens, he probably wouldn't have been on the front lines with the rest of them. He also probably wouldn't have had them in the vanguard." Ildri turned to look at Alistair. "I'm not saying that Duncan was a horrible person or anything – I'm only saying that he made a mistake. He was human, and it's something we do. I owe Duncan my life, I'm not about to start shitting on his memory."

"There's an odd image." Nadia piped up, trying to break the tension. Ildri shot Nadia a glance, thanking her silently.

"So we have the beginnings of a plan to bring before the Landsmeet. Alistair crowned as king, Andreina's family name cleared so that she can rule at his side, and Anora as an advisor of sorts." Eamon listed, ticking off his fingers. "I must admit that I do not like the idea of Loghain not paying for his treachery."

"He's not getting away with it, don't worry." Ildri replied.

"Very well. But you have yet to tell me why you want the Landsmeet held so soon."

"Because it's pointless to allow these men and women to throw their lives away against each other when we need them for the darkspawn."

"I understand your concern, but you know next to nothing about politics or warfare –"

"I might not know a whole lot about that, but I'd like to think that I've been muddling along pretty damn well. Also, while I don't know a whole lot about darkspawn, I still know more than you do. We," she gestured to the other three Wardens, "know a whole lot more than you do. We need the civil war over so that we can end this Blight, but Ferelden needs it over more. The longer you sit around with your thumb up your ass, more innocent men, women, and children are slaughtered, taken, and eaten by the 'spawn. The more of the country you profess to love is corrupted by the Blight – a country that you fought foreigners for, but are unwilling now to defend from monsters, I might add. The longer you sit here, more of Ferelden's future is swallowed whole by the taint. And I don't know how much of it we'll be able to recover. More, obviously, than we would if you sent out word _now_ for a Landsmeet rather than a few months down the road." Ildri rested her hands on the desk, so that she and Eamon were eye level with one another. "So, Eamon. What's more important to you – yourself, and your health, or the country that you serve?"

* * *

><p>Eamon agreed to call for a Landsmeet. They would spend another week in Redcliffe before making their way to Denerim. Ildri felt as though she was walking on air – she, an elf, had managed to talk Eamon into following the course she wanted. She nearly danced through the castle on her way to Morrigan's room. When she arrived, Morrigan raised a brow at her.<p>

"I presume that your audience with the Arl went well?"

"It was fucking _awesome!_" Ildri declared, smiling broadly. "I can't believe it, he actually listened to me!" She spun a circle in the privacy of Morrigan's room, causing the witch to laugh.

"I am glad on your behalf." Morrigan was still smiling as Ildri came to a stop.

"If you'd told me six months ago that I'd eventually go toe-to-toe with a nobleman – an Arl, no less – and come out ahead, I would have sent you packing." Ildri shook her head. "I just… it all seems kind of surreal."

"I imagine so." Morrigan replied. "I would be wary of the Arl from this time forth – you bested him, in front of witnesses, no less – and he will be looking to return the favor, more likely than not."

"Makes sense." Ildri agreed. "Thank you."

"How did Riordan take it?" The witch queried.

"He was actually pretty quiet the whole time. The only time he said anything was when I mentioned Duncan."

"He seems to be falling in line rather well now." Morrigan observed.

"After we fought that dragon, we had a little chat. He's going to be staying in Denerim with Alistair and Andreina. I asked that he look into better ways to ground and kill dragons. I'm going with the working theory that the Archdemon's going to be a fuck of a lot bigger than the high dragon was."

"'Tis far safer to assume that your enemy will be greater than he is in actuality." Morrigan commented, and Ildri nodded her head.

"Go big or go home, yeah." Ildri smirked up at the other woman, who was studying her.

"I had been averse to mentioning this before, but I will now. You are not the same as you were when you entered the Gauntlet. I do not believe that you could have had this victory today had you elected to not enter it. Might I inquire after what happened?" Morrigan asked cautiously, and Ildri fell silent.

"It's… hard to explain. I don't know if it was the actual, physical presence of Andraste, or some other form of magic, but the trials… I saw my mother in there." Morrigan's brows rose, but she remained silent. "She knew everything… every single thing that had happened since she died a few years ago. She told me that I couldn't keep going the way I had been. 'There are many choices in your future, and you're not going to be able to choose effectively if you're being blindsided by hatred and prejudice.'" Ildri paused, contemplating how much to tell. "I also saw Shianni, and Vaughan. Shianni… that Shianni, anyway, I don't know about the real one – she didn't blame me for what happened with Vaughan. Not even a little bit. And Vaughan was even more aggravating there than he was in real life. He helped me to realize that the man who called the Purge on the Alienage is the same man who killed Andreina's family. Everything that's happened in the Alienage is my fault, even if I haven't been there since. If I'd just… let it happen…" She couldn't speak around the sudden lump in her throat and took a few deep breaths. "If I hadn't attacked them, there wouldn't have been a Purge, and there wouldn't be a plague in the Alienage."

"You cannot know that." Morrigan argued, but Ildri shook her head.

"The old Arl, Vaughan's father, was down in Ostagar, and probably died there. I can't guarantee that the Alienage women would be any safer if Vaughan were the _actual_ Arl of Denerim versus only being the substitute, but if I'd done nothing there wouldn't have been a Purge."

"It is also likely that you would be _dead._" Morrigan pointed out. "For once, I find myself agreeing with the Qunari – you ought to leave the past, in the past. Agonizing over every singular incident, wondering how it could have been made better, serves no one. You cannot change it, and you know this."

"Knowing and doing are two different things." Ildri murmured.

"If it helps to assuage your conscience, if you had not attacked, the final defense of Ferelden would have been left to Alistair." Morrigan observed, and Ildri barked out a laugh.

"I can't really say it helps, but I appreciate the thought." Ildri leaned against the wall. "Oh, I learned something interesting about my mother in there, too. I always suspected that she was a Night Elf – part of a group put together by Loghain during the Occupation, made up of just elves, and she pretty well confirmed it without actually saying it. She asked me to pass along her 'regards' to Loghain."

"That is certainly… interesting." Morrigan commented.

"You're telling me. I never actually thought about it before, until she pointed it out – my mother could have been on a first-name basis with the man we're trying to take down."

"Circles within circles." Morrigan agreed, nodding. "In any case, there are some things that I would like to attend to, now that we are remaining here for some time. The swords that you brought to me, luckily enough, were not tainted overmuch. Whomever you collected these from should be thankful."

"I don't know if he is or not. Doesn't matter." Ildri replied, taking the bundle from Morrigan. "Thank you again."

"You are welcome." Morrigan replied, then shooed Ildri from her room. Ildri went down to Sten's room and began pounding on his door. When there was no answer, she hailed a passing maidservant.

"Have you seen Sten? My Qunari companion?"

"The bug guy with the white hair?" She asked. "Yeah, he went outside somewhere. Can't tell you for sure where he is, though."

"Thanks!" Ildri left the castle and went down into the village. After asking around a bit more, she learned that Sten had headed to the docks behind the houses and hadn't been seen in some time. She headed in that direction, and found him sitting cross-legged on the ground and staring out towards the water. Ildri waited in silence for him to call her over. She'd come up on him meditating before, and no matter how quietly she walked, he always knew when she approached. Her anticipation rising, it seemed to be forever before he called her over.

"Warden." He greeted as she drew close.

"What are you meditating on today?" Ildri asked, sitting down beside him.

"Wisdom, and the lack of it in these lands." He replied.

"What do you mean?" She pressed. She enjoyed these chats with the Qunari – he made her question the things that she'd been told were absolute truths.

"Perhaps if humans sought wisdom beyond the walls of their chantries, they might find it now and then."

"Where does one find wisdom?"

"It is everywhere. In every moment of eternity there is a chance to find it. You have only to reach for it." Sten answered.

"Do you think that you are wise?"

"I know that the Qunari have found wisdom. Wisdom is like breath. You need it, but no other can give you theirs."

"Some might argue that wisdom is optional. That only food, water, and shelter are necessities." Ildri countered.

"Then you are only half alive. Food, water and shelter sustain the body. Wisdom sustains the soul." He countered.

"That's… a very fair point." Ildri acceded.

"And now I have a question for you, if you will permit me."

"Go ahead, I don't mind." She replied.

"Tell me: where is the wisdom in crying for a derelict god to save you?" He asked, and Ildri burst out laughing. Sten actually opened his eyes to look over at her and raised a brow. "I did not realize that my question was humorous."

"No, it's not you. Some things just make a whole lot more sense now. Like why the Chantry wants to kill you all." Ildri looked up at him, still smiling. "Please, if you don't mind, I _really_ don't want to have a bunch of Chantry people trying to kill us, so I'd appreciate it if you kept comments and questions like this one to when we're alone."

"We _are_ alone." Sten pointed out.

"I know. I just figured I'd let you know for future reference." Ildri put the bundle of swords on the ground and pulled her knees up to her chest. "But to go back to your question, I don't really know what to think about the Maker. I mean, I know He's supposed to be there, but there's no actual, physical proof of His existence. But I fully believe in Andraste – at least, that she was here and led armies against Tevinter, but I don't know about the rest of it."

"My people have a tale: a great Ashkaari during his travels came upon a village in the desert. There, he found the houses crumbling. The ground so dry and dead that the people tied themselves to each other for fear a strong wind would carry the ground out from under their feet. Nothing grew there except the bitter memories of gardens." Sten looked down at Ildri, who was waiting patiently for him to continue.

"Come on, I want to hear the rest!" Ildri smiled up at him.

"The Ashkaari stopped the first man he saw, and asked, 'What happened here?' 'Drought came. And the world changed from prosperity to ruin,' the man told him. 'Change it back.' The Ashkaari replied. The villager became angry then, thinking the Ashkaari mocked him, for no one could simply change the world on a whim. To which the Ashkaari answered, 'Then change yourself. You make your own world.'"

"People don't make the world, Sten." Ildri told him, frowning.

"Are you sure of that? Tell me, when you awakened after Ostagar, was the world the same as it had been before?" Sten asked. "Believe in whatever you like: absent creators, or whimsical gods. Follow prophets, or Ashkaari, or omens in the earth and sky. You will find wisdom only if you seek it." They fell into a companionable silence, both of them looking out over the water. _Change yourself… you make your own world. That's actually decent advice. If you do nothing, then things won't get any better. But if you step up to the plate, and actually do something, things could get much better._ Ildri voiced these thoughts to Sten, who merely smiled at her.

"Oh! Before I forget…" Ildri picked up the bundle of swords and deposited it in Sten's lap. "Ta-da!" She waved her hands dramatically and smiled broadly. After shooting her a bemused glance, he opened the bundle. Ildri watched him closely to gauge his reaction, and couldn't tell if she was overjoyed that she'd caused his stoic mask to slip, or disappointed that it hadn't slipped more. Sten's violet eyes widened and his mouth opened, and he touched one of the swords almost reverently. He pulled what Ildri assumed was his own sword from the others and simply held it – the hilt in one hand, and the blade resting on the other.

"I had almost forgotten it…" He breathed, and so quietly that Ildri barely caught it. "Completion."

"Since you can't exactly bring the rest of your Beresaad back, I figured that bringing the blades would be okay." Ildri informed him.

"Are you sure you are a Grey Warden?" Sten asked, raising a brow. "I think that you must be an Ashkaari, to have found these lost blades in a country at war."

"It wasn't that hard." Ildri demurred. "But now that you have your sword, you can go home, right?"

"Yes. I will return to the arishok with my report." Ildri blinked, taken aback. _I didn't think that he'd up and leave when I handed him his sword – _"But it would be a much more thorough and satisfying answer to his question if the Blight were ended first, don't you agree?" Sten asked, cutting through her train of thought.

"Absolutely." Ildri agreed, smiling up at him.

"Then lead the way."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I know that I skipped everything for getting Sten's sword, but: a) if Ildri had gone off running around Ferelden to get Sten's sword, she'd need to (in my opinion) be able to justify each visit with more than "I'm looking for Sten's sword", and b) if I'd let it occur like it does in the game, Sten wouldn't have gotten his sword until the very end. I know that next to nothing happened in this chapter, but I wanted to progress the plot and get some companion interaction. <strong>

**Ashkaari – lit. "One who seeks"**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to Tangyman for the follow!**

**And I'm sorry for taking so long - I bought a new laptop, and I needed to get everything all set up, and _then_ I had writer's block. Arrgh!**

* * *

><p>"Do we <em>have<em> to wait for Eamon before we head to Denerim?" Ildri asked Andreina. "Can't we just go early and tell him we're making sure it's safe or something?"

"I suspect that if you tried to leave early, Eamon would find some way to keep you here." The noblewoman replied.

"What exactly do you mean by 'some way'?" Nadia asked from where she was seated on the floor.

"It matters not what he tried, he would find himself short soldiers in the end." Morrigan raised a hand and a flame fluttered into life in her palm.

"I hope that's all you've been doing with your magic, and in private." Andreina directed at the witch. "The last thing we need is Templars breathing down our necks."

"Let them come." Morrigan snapped, and the flame in her palm grew to encompass her hand. "'Tis no fault of mine that your Chantry preaches fear –"

"For fuck's sakes, ladies." Ildri cut in. "I get that we're all kinda on edge, but I don't want any religious shit in here." Andreina leaned back in her chair and Morrigan let her flame go out. "Thank you." The four of them were in Ildri's room, most of them hiding from something or other. Morrigan was hiding from nearly every man in Redcliffe – either they wouldn't stop ogling her, or they would proposition her. The witch was spending most of her time hiding in either Ildri's room or her own to keep from lighting them all on fire. Ildri and Andreina were both hiding from Eamon – he was trying to pump them for more information about their plans for the Landsmeet. Ildri was just about ready to stab him in the throat, but Andreina was able to dance around all his questions and ended up gaining information from him. While he didn't come right out and admit most of it, Andreina had no difficulty in putting the pieces together. In the end, he hadn't revealed anything that they had not already suspected – whether it was because of her commoner blood or her brilliant mind, Eamon bore no love for Anora, and wished to see her gone. He didn't much like Ildri either, but was putting up with her because she'd saved his son. He had also hoped to use his influence with Alistair to gain for himself a better position at court in Denerim.

Some of it was things that were common sense – with Connor being a mage, and Isolde being beyond childbearing age, he was going to name Teagan as the heir to Redcliffe. He didn't trust Riordan, for all that he was Fereldan by birth. Ildri couldn't blame him for that last one, especially after what Andreina had told her.

"I have no idea what he would actually do to try and keep us here." Andreina said, answering Nadia's question. "And it would be better for us to arrive with Eamon. We don't know if Loghain will attempt to arrest us when we enter the city."

"He didn't last time." The dwarf countered.

"We also didn't announce the fact that we're the Grey Wardens." Ildri pointed out. "This time, we will be."

"Weren't you the one arguing just a minute ago about how we should be leaving?" Nadia asked.

"I know it's a bad idea, I'm just going crazy here, sitting around and doing nothing." She sighed.

"It's kind of your own fault, though." Nadia replied. "It was your idea to do the Landsmeet right away."

"Yes, because the men and women of Ferelden would just love to be rescued by dwarves, elves, and mages." Ildri snarked. "Your people they have no problems with, but the others they've been raised to hate, fear, and look down upon."

"Not all of us were raised that way." Andreina murmured.

"Most have. And that's enough to make our lives miserable." Ildri retorted.

"It's not like your people make it any better for yourselves." The noblewoman replied. "If they didn't do the things that they're accused of, like stealing, then –"

"Then their families will starve or freeze to death." Ildri snapped. "Do you honestly think that we haven't thought of these things ourselves? Or do you think that we're just that stupid?"

"Of course not –"

"And just to let you know, not _all_ of us resort to thievery. I actually worked as a barmaid. Also, even if none of us resorted to thievery, it wouldn't make your kind any more well-disposed towards us. Humans and elves have nearly always butted heads. Your Chantry's second Exalted March was held on the Dales – the land that Andraste gave us because we helped in her March on Tevinter. And you won't find any mention of our help in your blighted Chant of Light, either. Even your Chantry despises us. Think about that before you lay the blame at my people's feet, next time."

"I wasn't blaming anyone." Andreina said softly.

"Not directly, perhaps." Ildri answered. "I'd like to stop talking about this, if you don't mind."

"I have one question about this, before the subject is abandoned." Morrigan cut in. "How do you know all of this? I have not shared any religious texts with you."

"My mother was one of the Night Elves, and some of them were Dalish." Ildri admitted. "Unlike us city elves, they know some elvish history. Which isn't really saying much, considering how much of it was lost."

"Your mother was a Night Elf?" Andreina asked, her brows raised. Ildri opened her mouth, an angry reply on her tongue, but Nadia spoke first.

"What the sod are Night Elves?" The dwarf asked.

"They were a group of elves that fought with the rebels during the Orlesian Occupation." Andreina answered. "Loghain himself organized them."

"And a fat lot of good fighting the Orlesians did them." Ildri scoffed. "You've all heard of them, but none of you know who they were, or how many died, so that we could all be free from them. We're treated no better than we were before Orlais invaded, from all that I've heard."

"Is that how you learned to fight? From your mother?" Andreina queried.

"The little bit she could teach, yes. She started when I was twelve, but she was killed a couple years later. It wasn't as though we could go out every day and train, either. But she also trained me in stealth, and lockpicking, and those were easy to teach compared to weapon skills." Ildri informed her.

"I'm sorry to hear that." The woman murmured, her head bowed.

"So was I." Ildri replied.

"At least your mother gave a shit about you." Nadia pointed out. "Be grateful you had that much."

"I am." Ildri nodded. "There are just some days I wish she was still here, you know?" Andreina nodded solemnly, and Ildri remembered that the woman's own family had been slaughtered recently.

"How long ago was that?" She asked. "Have you… how did you get past it?"

"This was only two years ago." Ildri leaned back against the wall, tilting her head towards the ceiling. "It wasn't… it hasn't been easy. I still don't think that I've actually 'gotten over it', as it were. I don't think that a person can ever entirely move on after a loved one has been taken from them. It probably would have been different if she'd gotten sick and died. But she was killed – murdered. I don't know what exactly happened, and I don't think that I ever will. That's not really a conversation that I want to have with my father. But when I do stop and think about her, I hope that she's proud of me, wherever she is." Ildri's eyes began to fill, and she blinked rapidly to get rid of the tears before they could spill.

"Um… Ildri?" Ildri looked over at the noblewoman. "If you started at twelve, and she passed a couple of years later, which was only two years ago… that would make you only sixteen."

"That's right." Ildri nodded.

"Wow." Andreina breathed. "That's got to be some kind of record. Youngest Warden-Commander in history, or some such."

"Sten is the only other one who knows, and I'd appreciate it if the others didn't learn about it at all, except through me." Ildri made eye contact with the three of them in turn as she spoke, and they all nodded.

"You sure do seem to be telling Sten a lot of things." Nadia grinned, poking Ildri in the leg. "Maybe there's something going on there?"

"What in Thedas are you talking about?" Ildri asked, raising a brow at her.

"She's barely more than a child!" Andreina protested.

"Excuse me?" Ildri's other brow rose to meet the other as she stared at the woman in disbelief.

"The day she was conscripted was her wedding day, so obviously the elves look at it a lot differently than humans do." Nadia argued.

"I had forgotten that." Andreina conceded. "But it still seems… odd, to me."

"Damn near everything seems odd to humans." Nadia pointed out.

"Is someone going to explain to the elf exactly what the human and the dwarf are talking about?" Ildri cut in.

"They appear to think that there is some sort of romantic attachment between you and the Qunari." Morrigan explained, and Ildri put her face in her hands.

"Holy Maker… can't a guy and a girl be friends? Do they always have to be fucking?" Andreina shot Ildri a glare on the last word, but she didn't see it.

"Well… usually, yeah." Nadia answered. "Maybe it's different up here, but that's pretty much the way it was in Orzammar."

"It is absolutely different up here." Andreina exclaimed. "One of my closest friends growing up was a man, and no one ever thought that about us."

"Maybe not to your face." Nadia replied. "Because, you know, nobility." Andreina sniffed and didn't answer. "But Ildri, you haven't answered the question." The dwarf grinned once more and turned back to the elf.

"I like him well enough." Ildri answered, not looking at her. _I do like him. But not like that, anyway. I think._ "Besides, if there was a… 'romantic attachment' there, I don't think that I'd be able to walk properly for a while. And that would definitely be awkward to try and explain."

"I think he's nice enough to look at. If he's not glaring at you, anyway." Nadia said.

"Don't you have a thing with Zevran?" Andreina raised a brow.

"Yeah, we have sex now and again. But it's not a real relationship." Nadia replied. "And even if there was one, there's no rules against looking."

"I don't see how you can let him into your tent at all." Andreina shook her head. "I mean, he tried to kill you!"

"So? It's not like he actually _wanted_ to kill us. He was hired to perform a service." Nadia shrugged.

"He's a cold-blooded killer. That's where I would draw the line." Andreina informed the other women.

"He's not the only one here who's killed in cold blood." A grimace flashed across the dwarven woman's features for a moment. "What's with all the hate against assassins? Andy, who do you blame more for what happened with your family? Howe's men, or Howe himself?"

"That's not the same thing." Andreina glared at the dwarf.

"Of course it is. The soldiers were only following orders. Zevran was only following orders." Andreina opened her mouth to say something, but Ildri raised a hand.

"Okay, moving on!" She said quickly. The three women looked over at her. "I think that we should talk a little more about what's going to happen when we get to Denerim."

"We've got to find a way to make Loghain look bad." Nadia pointed out.

"Not that far ahead yet." Ildri looked over at Andreina. "I think that you should wear a disguise of some sort while we're in Denerim."

"And why is that?" The noblewoman asked, raising a brow.

"Because you're our secret weapon. No one there knows that you're alive and that you're with us, and I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. I know that it's going to suck. Even if you just wore a helmet, I think that it would be enough."

"You're right, though." Andreina sighed. "Very well, I'll see if there's some guard armor around here that will fit me." Ildri sent her a small smile before looking at the other two women.

"Is there anything else that you guys think we need to talk about?"

"Actually, I have another question." Andreina put in. "How exactly do you plan on talking to Loghain? I don't think that you'll be able to just walk into the palace."

"I'm an elf. I'll pose as a servant, and they won't even think twice about it. Cover my hair and put on some old clothes, and I'll be fine." Ildri explained, waving a dismissive hand. "But before that, we'll have to find a way to open the Alienage again. That's the only way this will work."

"We'll probably have to sneak in." Nadia pointed out. "You, me, Zevran, and Morrigan again, I should think."

"That was my idea, yes." Ildri agreed, nodding. "No offense, Andreina, but I suspect that you, Alistair, and Sten would have some difficulty sneaking anywhere."

"I take it you're leaving us with Riordan, as well?" Andreina asked.

"Yes. I don't doubt that he could sneak in with ease, but he's human. Yes, I know that Morrigan's human too, but she can hide in plain sight." Ildri grimaced and looked over at Nadia. "I just thought of something… if you're coming with us, you're going to have a disguise yourself somehow."

"I could just dress up as an elven child, couldn't I?" The dwarf asked.

"Unlikely. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're a little broad to pass as an elven child." Ildri explained quickly, hoping not to offend her.

"I'm a decent sneak. I'll just stay out of sight as much as I can, then." Nadia replied.

"What if the gates are open when we get there?" Andreina asked. Ildri bit her lip, thinking.

"Then this conversation will have been purely academic." Morrigan pointed out. "If the gates are open, 'twould most likely mean that most, if not all of the inhabitants of the Alienage are dead."

"Morrigan, a little tact, please!" Andreina said quickly, shooting a glance at Ildri.

"No, she's right." Ildri swallowed past the lump in her throat. "It's something that needs to be considered, even if the gates are closed."

"What do we do if that's the case?" Nadia asked softly.

"If the gates are open, then most of us will go in. I'm sorry, Andreina, but you, Alistair, and one other will be very bored while we're in Denerim. I'll try to swap the third person around, but I'm not leaving the two of you alone in Eamon's estate."

"I understand. You can't risk us. If you hadn't mentioned it by the time we got to Denerim, I was actually going to bring it up myself." Andreina smiled at her.

"If the gates are closed, it'll be the two of you, Riordan, and Sten, of course. If they're open, I think I'll still leave Riordan behind. We don't know how the rest of the elves will react to seeing humans in the Alienage, and I don't want to be the cause of a riot." Ildri mused, laying back on the bed.

"Will this include myself?" Morrigan asked.

"I think not. You're invaluable. I can't afford to leave you behind, except when I go to talk to Loghain. That reminds me, I need to read up more on tactics and whatnot." Ildri frowned at the ceiling.

"But if you're bringing Loghain along somehow, won't that be irrelevant?" Andreina asked.

"Better safe than sorry. Short of the Right of Conscription, I can't guarantee that we'll leave with Loghain. And even then, I don't know if he'll accept it."

"You mean your authority." She asked, and Ildri smirked.

"That, too." Ildri let out a breath. "Just a couple more days, and then we can leave."

* * *

><p>The last few days of the week passed rather quickly for Ildri – with help from both Morrigan and Andreina, she'd raided the Redcliffe library for books pertaining to tactics, war, and the Orlesian Occupation. She had been unable to read them all, so the three of them slipped some into their packs.<p>

"Well, Eamon did say that we were welcome to take what we needed…." Ildri pointed out to Andreina.

"It still feels like stealing." The other woman argued, but she still put the books in her bag.

"You're going to be the queen of Fereldan. And besides, it's not like we're keeping them. We're just borrowing with implied permission." Ildri replied. "D'you think that Bodahn would mind if I sat in the cart and rode to Denerim? It's kinda hard to read and walk at the same time."

"I'm sure that Eamon would lend you a horse." Andreina answered, and Ildri quickly shook her head.

"I've never ridden before. I know that I'll have to learn, but there'll be plenty of time for that later."

"If we win this thing." Andreina murmured, and Ildri thought back to the conversation that she, Alistair, and Nadia had had with Riordan, when he'd told them of the Grey Warden's sacrifice.

"You and Alistair are going to be just fine, Andreina." Ildri promised.

"But what about the rest of you?" Andreina pressed.

"I can't promise about the rest of us, but the most important people will be safe." Ildri looked over at the noblewoman. "You know that's the way it has to be."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it." She grumbled, and Ildri smirked.

* * *

><p>Eamon and his retinue – a complement of guards, a half-dozen servants, and his wife – were waiting outside, along with the rest of Ildri's companions. Ildri smiled over at Sten, who bowed his head in turn. She hadn't been able to spend as much time with the Qunari as she would have liked, seeing as she'd spent most of the week hiding, but that was going to change.<p>

"Happy to have your sword back?" She nodded towards the item in question, which was strapped to his back.

"Yes." He nodded. "I am glad to have the others, as well."

"Good. You have no reason to follow me, and I thought that finding your sword would be a good way to show you that I appreciate you being here." Ildri replied, smiling up at him. He regarded her in silence for a moment before speaking.

"If you continue as you have been, kadan, then there will be no reason for me to _not_ follow your lead." Sten walked away, but Ildri jogged to catch up with him.

"What's that you called me? It's better than 'Warden', but what does it mean?" Sten stopped and looked down at her, apparently thinking.

"It is… difficult to translate into your tongue. But you have earned my respect." He explained, and Ildri blinked up at him, slightly at a loss for words.

"Well… thank you." She answered. "You have earned mine, as well." He bowed his head to her once more before walking away. _That was interesting._

* * *

><p>The day they were to arrive in Denerim, Andreina dressed in the armor of a guard, complete with a full helmet that hid her features.<p>

"I hate this." The noblewoman groused. "I can't see a thing."

"That means that no one else will be able to recognize you, either." Ildri pointed out. "Just stick close to us, and we won't lose you." Andreina snorted in a very un-lady like fashion, and Ildri laughed. They advanced to the capital, with Eamon and the Wardens in the front, and the non-Wardens directly behind them and Eamon's guards walking single-file on either side. Isolde was further back, for which Ildri was grateful. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she focused her gaze on Denerim. Waiting at the gates of the city was a group not unlike their own, save they had the wyvern standard of Gwaren rather than the tower on red rock that was Redcliffe's.

"I didn't expect him to meet us at the gates." Eamon murmured to Ildri.

"We would have run into him sooner or later, right?" She asked, and he nodded. "Then let's get this over with." Ildri, Eamon and the three other Wardens stepped away from their entourage, then waited partway between their group and the others. Three people came from the Denerim group to meet them. Ildri only didn't recognize any of them, but she assumed that Loghain was the tall man in the middle.

"Loghain," Eamon nodded his head, "this is an honor, that the Regent would make time to meet me at the gates."

"How could I not?" The man in the middle – Loghain – spoke up. "Seeing as you have drawn every lord in Ferelden away from their estates while a Blight claws at our lands, I thought it necessary to speak to you myself." _At least he's recognized that there's a Blight… or is this some kind of ploy?_

"That is why I'm here. With Cailan dead, Ferelden needs a king to lead it against the darkspawn."

"Ferelden already has a ruler – its queen. And I lead her armies." Loghain countered.

"Anora never received the Crown Matrimonial. She's only the queen if Ferelden _wants_ her to be the queen. And where is she? Shouldn't she speak for herself?" Ildri asked.

"And who might you be?" Loghain took a step closer to her, forcing Ildri to look almost straight up to maintain eye contact. "I thought that it was only royal bastards you played nursemaid to, Eamon, and not elven derelicts."

"I am Ildri Tabris, Warden-Commander of Ferelden. I believe you knew my mother? Adaia?" Ildri watched to see if he reacted to the name. He frowned for a moment, then nodded.

"I remember her, yes. I wonder what she thinks of you attempting to give Ferelden back to the Orlesian overlords she fought to remove from our country?"

"She's dead." Ildri replied flatly. "But she asked me to say hello." Loghain shook his head.

"I'll take your word for it." He answered, then turned back to Eamon. "I hope that I may be able to talk you down from this rash course, Eamon. Our people are frightened, our king is dead, and our land is under siege. We must be united now if we want to endure this crisis. Your own sister, Queen Rowan, fought tirelessly to see Ferelden restored. Would you see her work destroyed?"

"We want more than to simply 'endure' this crisis, Loghain. If that was all we did, half the country would starve come winter." Eamon stated.

"You divide our nation and weaken our efforts against the Blight with your selfish ambitions to the throne!" Loghain accused.

"Then let us stand together." Ildri cut in. "Work together to defeat the Blight, and then we can resolve the leadership of the country."

"I should put my faith in untried, foreign hands?" Loghain scoffed. "Do you think I'm blind?"

"_Foreign hands?_" Ildri's brows rose nearly to her hairline. "Who are you calling foreign? I am _not_ a foreigner, I was born right here in Denerim! I am not asking for your faith, I am asking for a cooperative effort until the Blight has passed."

"Cailan put his faith in the Grey Warden's abilities against the 'spawn, and look how well that ended. Let us speak of reality rather than tall tales. Stories will not save us."

"I am not asking you to believe in stories!" Ildri protested. "I am asking for your –"

"I cannot forgive what you've done, Loghain." Eamon interrupted, causing Ildri to shoot an angry glare his way. "Nor can I forgive the atrocities that Rendon committed at Highever."

"Atrocities?" The other man spoke up. Ildri had clean forgotten about him, and she mentally kicked herself for it. "I disposed of a family of traitors. How is that an atrocity?"

"Was Fergus Cousland's child a traitor to the country? Or his pregnant wife? What about all of their servants, were they also traitors? Name your greed and ambition for what it is, Rendon. None here are going to be taken in by your lies." Eamon spat. Howe opened his mouth to speak, but Eamon continued as though he wasn't even there. "Our people deserve a king of the Theirin bloodline. Alistair will be the one to lead us to victory in this Blight."

"The Emperor of Orlais also thought I could not bring him down. Expect no more mercy than I showed him. There is _nothing_ I would not do for my homeland." Loghain snarled. He, Howe, and the third person – a woman, Ildri realized, upon closer examination – took their leave, walking back to their own group.

"Well, that was… bracing." Eamon murmured.

"Could you three leave us for now?" Ildri asked her companions, not taking her eyes off the Arl. "There is something Eamon and I should discuss." Nadia, Alistair and Riordan headed back, and Ildri waited until they were out of earshot before speaking. "What the fuck was that?" She snapped.

"I beg your pardon?" He asked, raising a brow.

"You interrupted me. I could honestly care less about your political machinations, I am trying to get men and women to fight the darkspawn. If you want my help, then you will _never_ do that again, do you hear me? The Grey Wardens must do whatever necessary to end a Blight, and don't think for a _moment_ that you're safe from me. If I so much as _think_ that you're interfering with my duties, I will kill you myself."

"And then you will have no one to assist you in the Landsmeet." Eamon replied.

"You've already called it. I don't know how much more of your help I'll actually need." Ildri countered, smiling grimly. "Remember, _you _are indebted to _me_. I didn't have to save your village. I didn't have to save your son, I could have just killed him outright. Or, I could have used your wife in some creepy blood magic ritual, which would have killed her."

"But you did save the village, and you saved my son."

"Yes, I did. And now you owe me. Remember that the next time you think of being an idiot." Ildri stormed off towards Denerim, angrier than she wanted anyone to see. _Rotten bastard… we should've just tried our luck with Teagan…_

"So… how was your chat with Eamon?" Alistair asked, having caught up with her.

"Just strategy stuff. And something a little personal. Nothing you need to worry about." Ildri answered shortly. "I just don't like dealing with nobles. Half the time it makes me want to kill something."

"So your plan is to throw them all at me? Very generous of you." He replied, and Ildri chuckled.

"I didn't know what else to get you for Satinalia." She shrugged. "Just remember, re-gifting is in poor taste."

"At least you won't have to do it for long."

"Hopefully not." She agreed. "Come on, let's go see how many people we have to persuade."

* * *

><p>Upon entering the city, Ildri pulled Nadia and Zevran aside for a moment.<p>

"I need the two of you to do me a favor." She recounted the essentials of her earlier conversation with Eamon. "So he's probably pretty pissed at me, and might be looking to get back at me."

"Or get rid of you." Zevran pointed out, and Ildri nodded.

"I'd like the two of you to keep an eye on him, see if there's anything that I need to watch out for, or if there's anything that he might try to hide from me."

"We can do that." Nadia nodded, and Ildri smiled down at her.

"Thank you." The two of them, Andreina and Amber followed Eamon to his estate, while Ildri and the others went to the Gnawed Noble to talk to some of the nobles. Arl Wulff of West Hills was unimpressed with Loghain, feeling that the Regent feared Orlais and a subsequent invasion far more than he ought to. While he didn't agree to support Alistair for the throne, he was also very unlikely to support Loghain, either. Bann Alfstanna of Waking Sea was concerned about her missing brother – a Templar who'd been tracking a blood mage escapee from the Circle. Ildri promised to look into it, and to bring the Bann any news she discovered. Leonas Bryland, the Arl of South Reach, fully supported the Wardens, no effort required. Bann Ceorlic of the Southern Bannorn wouldn't listen to a word Ildri said after she revealed that she was a Grey Warden. Bann Sighard was also worried about a family member – his son had mysteriously disappeared, and had not been heard from in some time. Once again, Ildri promised to look for the boy and to deliver any news she found to him. According to the notes that Andreina had written, these were the most important nobles, and the ones she needed to focus on the most. They left the inn and headed to Eamon's estate, which wasn't very far. Nadia was waiting by the door, and Ildri went to talk to her.

"Some elf came in just after we got here. Well-dressed, with an Orlesian accent. She's been holed up with Eamon in his study ever since."

"Did you hear anything that concerned you?" Ildri asked, and the dwarf shook her head.

"Something about Anora, but that was it." Ildri squeezed her shoulder in thanks and headed for the study. Upon entering, both Eamon and his guest fell silent.

"Warden." Eamon nodded to her in greeting.

"This is her? The Warden?" The elven woman asked Eamon, who nodded once more.

"I know you." Ildri said, leaning against the doorjamb. "By reputation, at least. You're one of Anora's women."

"I am." The woman agreed. "My name is Erlina, and I was sent here by the queen to ask for your help."

"And what exactly does she need help with?" Ildri asked, narrowing her eyes at Erlina.

"The queen, she is in a difficult position. She loved her husband, no? And trusted her father to protect him. So when he returns with no king and only dark rumors, what is she to think?"

"I don't know. Why don't you skip past what we already know and get to the point?" Ildri waved her hand in front of her in a rolling motion. "We haven't got all day."

"The queen went to visit Howe – a visit from her to the new Arl of Denerim is only a matter of courtesy – and she demands answers."

"I take it that didn't go well." Ildri snarked.

"He calls her every sort of name, 'traitor' being the kindest, and locks her in a guest room."

"And… she needs us to bust her out, because Howe is a psychopathic lunatic." Ildri surmised, and the other elf nodded frantically.

"That is what we hoped you would say. Essentially." Eamon looked as though he wanted to say something, but Ildri pretended that she hadn't noticed.

"So are we sneaking in as servants?" Ildri asked.

"I have some guard uniforms. There are so many guards hired every day that a few more may not cause a stir."

"All right." Ildri nodded. "I'll go rustle up some people. Meet you at the estate?"

"Yes, Warden, as soon as you can."

"It's my top priority." Ildri promised, and Erlina let out a sigh. Ildri walked off before Eamon could try to speak to her. Zevran was standing in a doorway down the hall, and she beckoned him to join her. "I want you, Morrigan, and Sten, armored and ready to head out in five minutes. I'll explain everything on the way."

* * *

><p>By the time the four of them had reached the Arl of Denerim's estate, the sun was setting. Ildri looked up at the building and swallowed around the lump in her throat. <em>I never thought I'd have to set foot in this building again.<em>

"Over here!" Erlina's shouting shook Ildri from her bout of melancholy, and she hurried towards the elven woman. "We must sneak around the building. With all the commotion out front here, we should be able to slip past unnoticed."

"What's up with that, anyway?" Ildri thumbed over her shoulder towards the crowd in front of the estate.

"Howe is having work done, and is not… prompt in paying the workers." Erlina explained. "Please, let us go."

"Lead the way." Ildri gestured, and Erlina nodded. She led them around the building to the back garden, and Ildri watched the walls for guards. They were able to slip past unnoticed by hiding in the shadows when the guard patrols passed.

"While you change into these," Erlina handed out their disguises, "I will go and distract the guards. These two know who is allowed in or out, and will not be fooled."

"We'll be quick." Ildri took the uniform and she and her companions hid behind a garden wall to change. Morrigan was able to slip it on over her clothes, while Ildri and Zevran had to partially undress. Sten had to change completely.

"Thank you! Oh! It was over here! Quickly!" Erlina shouted, and Ildri peered around the edge of the wall to see Erlina and two estate guards venture out into the garden. Once their backs were turned, Ildri gestured for her companions to follow her and they entered the estate. A few steps inside, Ildri recognized the room they were in. Her breath came faster until she was nearly hyperventilating, and she leaned against a wall until it passed.

"Ildri? Are you unwell?" Morrigan asked.

"This… this is where everything happened. On my wedding day." She waved her arm. She didn't notice her arm shaking, but her companions did. "This is the room where Nola died."

"Will you be well enough to continue?" Morrigan pressed.

"I have to be." Ildri replied. She heard a door open and close, and looked up to see Erlina entering.

"It took me forever to be rid of those two." She groused. "You must be careful now. The servants, they will not look closely at anyone in a uniform. All guards are alike to a cook, no? But do not draw attention to yourselves." Ildri nodded, and pulled down the visor on her helmet to disguise her distinctive elven eyes. Zevran had already done so, and Sten followed her example.

"Where is she?" Ildri asked.

"She is in a guest room off the main hall." Erlina answered.

"Stay close. I know my way through here." Ildri ordered the woman. After taking a deep breath, Ildri opened the next door. She kept her head down as they passed through the kitchen and the main dining room, trying to move swiftly but not so swiftly as to seem out of place. When they reached the room that Nelaros had died in, Ildri stopped.

_"Got here... too late." He rattled, coughing up blood._

"No, you didn't." Ildri whispered.

"We cannot linger here." Morrigan hissed in her ear, and Ildri shook her head.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Ildri murmured in reply, and began moving again. Past the main door was the main hall, and the room where Anora was trapped.

"What was that?" Erlina demanded, once they were out of sight of the guards.

"I haven't had the best of experiences in this building. It shouldn't happen again." Ildri told her. "Let's get your queen and get the fuck out of here." Erlina stormed off towards the door.

"My lady, the Grey Warden is here." Erlina announced. Looking at the door, Ildri knew something was off. _It's shiny. It's not supposed to be that shiny._

"Thank the Maker." A female voice sighed. "I would greet you properly, but I'm afraid there's been a setback."

"I thought it was too easy." Ildri grumbled.

"My 'host'," Ildri could almost _see_ the air-quotations, "was not content with leaving me under heavy guard. He's sealed the door with magic."

"Morrigan?" Ildri gestured towards the door, and the witch stepped forwards.

"I dare not try a thing." Morrigan shook her head. "If I tamper with it, 'tis likely the mage will know. That, or it may explode." Ildri began to pace, trying to remember everything she could from her earlier visit to the estate.

"I did not know of this!" Erlina piped up. "There were only guards when I left."

"I'm not blaming you, Erlina. Calm down." Ildri snapped.

"Find the mage who cast the spell." Anora – if it was Anora – ordered. "He'll most likely be at Howe's side." Ildri didn't answer, and continued pacing.

"Is there a window in that room?" Ildri asked.

"I… yes, there is, but why?" Ildri smirked at Morrigan.

"Sten, Zevran, stay here a moment." Zevran smirked at her, and began to fish around in his pack. He found a length of rope and handed it to Ildri, who smiled in return. She then beckoned for Morrigan to follow her, and the two women checked the next room down. There was a servant, but Ildri shooed her away and closed the door behind him. She went over to the window and forced it open. "Morrigan, I need someone to get into Anora's room."

"'Twould be me, I take it?" The witch remarked dryly.

"Please." Ildri gestured with the rope. "I think you can see where I'm going with this."

"Very well." Morrigan sighed, and Ildri gave her the rope.

"Andreina said that Anora is a slim woman with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes – looks nothing like her father. She's a noble, so she probably wears her hair up. Andreina said something about braids, I think. If it's not Anora in there, then you come back straight away and we'll leave." Morrigan nodded and Ildri left the room to rejoin Sten, Zevran, and Erlina.

"Anora, I need you to open the window." Ildri heard something in the room, and a woman's sigh.

"I can't."

"Then break it. There has to be a water jug or something in there to break it with." Ildri encouraged her, and she was rewarded with the sound of breaking glass and a quickly stifled shriek.

"There's a _bird _in here!"

"I know that. Just give her a second." Ildri argued. "Morrigan, are you in there yet?"

"Yes, I am." Morrigan spoke over another shriek. "'Tis as she said. We need not worry." Ildri let out a breath and nodded to herself.

"Good. Anora, either you're going to need to either destroy your dress, or find some pants. Morrigan, can you see if you can actually open the window? Without blowing it off?"

"You want me to climb out the window?" Anora protested.

"We'll be at the bottom waiting for you. Don't worry, you'll be fine." Ildri promised. "See you in a bit." Erlina moved to lead the way back to where they'd entered, but Ildri grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?" Erlina demanded.

"Is there any other way out of the estate that we can actually use?" Ildri asked.

"We may be able to use the main door. I can ask, if you wish."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight. Even though it did turn out to _actually_ be Anora in that room, I don't trust either of you yet. We – my companions and I – had best make it out of this estate with no trouble. The moment I suspect something is wrong, you're dead. Am I clear?"

"I-I understand." Erlina stammered.

"Good." Ildri released the maid's arm. "Let's get out of here." A trembling Erlina led the way back through the estate, and they actually were able to use the main door now – the crowd had dissipated with the sunlight. The four of them made their way back around the side of the estate and waited until the guards had finished their patrol before signalling to Morrigan. Ildri's first view of the Queen of Ferelden was of her backside as she climbed down the wall of the Arl of Denerim's estate. The two women had scrounged up some pants for Anora to wear, and even a pair of gloves. Morrigan waited at the top for Anora to complete her climb so as to not leave any evidence of their being there behind. Anora slipped part of the way down and accidentally let go of the rope – thankfully, she didn't shriek – and Sten was able to catch her before she hurt herself. Morrigan untied the rope before shifting into the raven and rejoining them on the ground.

"Well, that was… not how I anticipated getting out of there." Anora commented, looking back up at the window.

"Thanks for that, Zevran." Ildri rolled up the rope and handed it back to the assassin. "I was considering tying bed sheets together."

"Unless tied and braided properly, they do not work as well as you would think. However, I shall give you points for creativity." Ildri chuckled and shook her head.

"Are you all right?" Ildri asked the queen.

"Well enough, I suppose." She allowed. "You are the Warden?"

"I am Ildri Tabris, the Warden-Commander of Ferelden." Anora nodded.

"Good. Since you helped me escape –"

"Actually, we haven't escaped yet." Ildri interrupted. "We're still at the estate. We need to get out of here. We can talk politics later." Anora frowned for a moment before conceding. "You and Erlina stay in the middle. Zevran, take the rear with Morrigan. Sten, you're with me." They moved into place and headed out. "By the way, thanks for catching her." Ildri murmured to Sten, shaking her head towards the queen.

"If she had been injured in the fall, it would have meant we were here longer. If she had been killed, it would have made our efforts useless." Sten pointed out.

"I know. But thanks anyway. I don't think that Zevran or I would have been able to catch her and stay standing."

"Are you calling me fat?" Anora demanded.

"I'm calling elves short." Ildri shot over her shoulder. "Morrigan, do you have your cloak with you? She's too recognizable. And, you're the only one whose cloak would fit her." Morrigan scoffed and took her cloak out of her pack.

"I want that back." Morrigan informed the queen.

* * *

><p>Nadia was waiting for them once more when they returned to the estate.<p>

"Eamon's in his study. If one of you would escort these two there, that would be appreciated. Then you can all hit the hay." Sten raised a brow at her, and she rolled her eyes. "Go to bed." She clarified.

"You had no trouble getting her out?" Nadia asked quietly. Zevran had remained, while Sten and Morrigan entered the estate with the queen and her maid in tow.

"We smuggled her out the window." Ildri informed her.

"Good. Look at this." Nadia handed her an opened letter. "I had to get Andy to read it for me, but I don't like what she said it says."

"Who's it from? And to?" Ildri asked, taking the letter.

"Eamon, to someone named Cauthrien. Andy said that was the woman with Loghain at the gates earlier. She's Loghain's top lieutenant."

"How did you get it, my dear?" Zevran pressed.

"I bought it from the messenger. Five sovereigns." Nadia admitted.

"Good. That'll be enough to keep him quiet." Ildri nodded and looked over the letter.

_Ser Cauthrien:_

_It has come to my attention that Queen Anora is currently at the Arl of Denerim's estate, and that the Warden, Ildri Tabris, is looking to acquire her 'by any means necessary' – these were her words. I send this to you in the hopes that you will be able to prevent this disaster from occurring, and safeguard our queen. _

_Sincerely, _

_A Concerned Citizen_

Ildri scrunched the letter into a ball in her rage.

"That son of a bitch." She growled. "He tried to set us up."

"But it failed." Zevran pointed out. "And you cannot let him know you have seen this, not until later." Ildri nodded and handed the letter back to Nadia.

"You hold on to this. One of you, anyway. I'd be too tempted to burn it or something equally stupid."

"I can do that." Nadia agreed with a nod. "You'd better go in and see him before he gets suspicious."

"You're right." Ildri nodded. "I just can't wait until I'm done with all this bullshit." Ildri entered the estate and tugged off the helmet. She groaned and rubbed at her ears. "Fuck, that thing hurt." She grumbled, causing Zevran to laugh.

"Yes, our ears are not meant to bend that way at all." Ildri tucked the helmet under her arm and headed up to Eamon's study. Anora and Erlina were there, talking to Eamon. Ildri's hands balled into fists and her eyes narrowed when they fell upon Eamon, but she forced herself to take a few calming breaths before plastering a smile onto her face.

"Warden, I see you're back." Eamon spoke up.

"Yes, I was just trying to get the feeling back into my ears." Ildri rubbed her ears once more for effect and Erlina smiled before quickly schooling her face into disinterest. "I would like to apologize for my earlier behaviour, Erlina." Ildri bowed her head towards the other elf. "I allowed my concern for my companions to overtake my common sense, and I took it out, wrongly, on you." The maid relaxed and smiled at her.

"That's all well and good," Eamon cut in, "but did you have any trouble on the way here?"

"No, none at all." Anora answered. "I am glad that father did not send Ser Cauthrien to the estate looking for me." Ildri's eyes were on Eamon, and she saw his arrows narrow at Cauthrien's name.

"Now that everyone's here, safe and sound, I think that we should go to bed and leave the politics for after breakfast. It's been a long, stressful day, after all." Ildri smirked.

"I quite agree." Anora announced. "Eamon, if you could have someone show us to our rooms, I would be much obliged."

"It will be done, your Majesty." Eamon answered. He levelled a glare Ildri's way, but she pretended not to see it.

"I wish you all a good night." Ildri said to the room at large, then left. On her way to her room, she asked a servant to draw her a bath. She went to her room and took off the disguise armor, tossing it into a corner. Once it was all off she sighed and sat down on the bed. A few minutes later there was a tap at the door, and she picked up her sword before answering it. When it turned out to only be the servants, she sat the blade down atop a shelf near the door and waited for her bath. Once they'd brought in the tub and the water they left, and she locked the door behind them. After considering, she also jammed a chair under the handle before taking her bath. Once it was done she was too tired to wait for the servants to remove it and climbed into her bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think! I love hearing from readers!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

For the first time in a while, Ildri's dreams revolved around her first visit to the Arl of Denerim's estate. Sometimes she was unable to do anything, and had to watch Shianni be tormented; sometimes it was herself beneath Vaughan, with her family watching. Other times Duncan wasn't there to help her, and she went to prison to be tortured, mutilated, and defiled. When she finally woke, she paced up and down the room for a while before getting dressed and leaving the room. It was early in the morning still, the only other people awake were a few servants. Ildri grabbed one of the books from Redcliffe and sat down in the library to read, making sure her weapons were close at hand. She passed a few hours like that, waiting for Anora to rise. She didn't know how extensive the queen's conversation with Eamon the night before had been, and Ildri felt that she could no longer trust the Arl with anything to do with the Landsmeet. Or anything else, really. Ildri sighed and looked up at the door again. The library was just down the hall from Anora's room, and she suspected that she'd see Erlina before she saw the queen. About half an hour later, Erlina poked her head into the library.

"Warden? Are you busy?" Ildri slipped a thin piece of leather into the book to mark the page and smiled up at the other elf.

"My name is Ildri, Erlina. What did you need?"

"My lady wishes to speak with you, if you do not mind." Ildri shook her head and sat the book down.

"No, I don't mind at all." She stood, stretched and picked up her weapons before following the maid. Erlina opened the door to the room the queen was staying in and gestured for Ildri to precede her. Keeping a wary eye on the elven woman, Ildri stepped into the room and waited for the door to close before sheathing her blades.

"Do you carry those with you everywhere, Warden?" Anora asked from where she was seated by the fireplace.

"Can't be too careful, especially considering your father – or Howe – hired Antivan Crows to kill us all." Ildri shrugged. Anora blanched.

"I see. Why don't you come join me? I think that we have quite a bit to talk about." Ildri nodded and crossed the room.

"I agree." She settled herself in the chair across from the queen and leaned back. "So how are you feeling?"

"After our escape, you mean?" Anora asked, raising a brow.

"That too. But mostly in general. That seems like a decent question to ask." Ildri folded her arms across her stomach.

"All things considered… I am well, thank you." Anora remained sitting upright in her own chair.

"I am sorry, you know. About Cailan. I didn't like him much, but he was your husband. I know how much it hurts to lose someone close to you." Anora sighed and looked at the fire.

"I imagine you would." She murmured. "Thank you. You're probably the only one who's said that who wasn't obligated to."

"Did you and Eamon have a good chat last night? I hope that I didn't interrupt." _I'm just an elf, she won't think that I'm trying to politick around Eamon. I hope._

"It went well. It was mostly about our escape from Howe's estate." Anora chuckled. "He seemed to be rather surprised that we got away undetected."

"Really? I didn't think that it was _that_ hard an escape to make." Ildri scoffed.

"If I may ask, it seems that you and Eamon… don't really get along." Anora commented.

"I didn't hear a question in that at all." Ildri smirked.

"I was wondering if it's something that I should concern myself with." The queen pressed.

"Eamon's kind of choked that your father hired a blood mage to poison him and that because of his presence, the Veil was torn and a demon made a deal with his son, and said demon proceeded to slaughter nearly everyone in Redcliffe." Ildri shrugged. "I can't really blame Eamon for being upset, but most of that is Isolde's fault. Stupid bitch." She muttered darkly.

"I can't see how." Anora coaxed. Ildri eyed Anora for a moment before speaking.

"Connor's a mage. Isolde was trying to hide him from the Circle, and that's how Jowan – the blood mage – got in. Jowan did his job, and Connor just wanted to help his father, so when a demon told him that she could ensure Eamon wouldn't die of the poison, the poor kid was all over that like mud on a pig. So the demon possessed Connor and killed a bunch of people and set their undead corpses on the village. Me and my crew show up to help the village, and the next morning Isolde comes careening down the hill with some bullshit story and not a care for the village or the villagers." Anora's eyes rose further the more Ildri spoke.

"I see."

"Yeah. And seeing as I'm one of the only people arguing for Loghain's life, Eamon's not too impressed with me at the moment." Anora looked rather surprised by this.

"You… you want to keep my father alive?" Anora asked slowly, and Ildri nodded.

"I think that Ostagar can be blamed on any number of people, and that Loghain is actually the least to blame. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I think that your father was right. The Grey Wardens didn't give him enough information to be able to make a good strategy, and please forgive me, but your husband was a bit of an air head. But that, again, can be blamed on the Grey Wardens and their lack of information-sharing-abilities."

"I can believe that of Cailan." Anora said with a sad smile. "So what are your plans for my father?"

"I want him to be a Warden. There are very good reasons for us to have as many Wardens on hand as possible when we fight Archie. And if Alistair becomes king, he'll probably insist on having him executed, and the only loophole there is the Right of Conscription."

"Who in Thedas is Archie?" Anora asked.

"Oh, that's my nickname for the Archdemon." Ildri smirked over at the queen. "'Archie' is a lot less of a mouthful – and takes up a lot less room to write – than 'the Archdemon'. And it sounds a lot less ominous. It's almost something that you can laugh at, which is kind of the point. Morale, and all that." Ildri waved a hand.

"You intend to put Alistair forward as king, then?" Anora queried.

"Honestly? If I can get your father to see reason, put aside the Regency, and become a Grey Warden before the Landsmeet actually happens, then I'll leave all of you to figure out who's going to rule the country. My top priority is defeating the Blight, and your father is the biggest obstacle in my way. And Howe, I guess, but they're kind of one and the same at the moment."

"I may be able to help you there. I want Howe gone just as much as you do. Ever since father let that… _snake_ get near him, it's like he's a different man." Anora shook her head. "But I have no proof of wrongdoing to bring against him, and so my hands are tied."

"I'm listening." Ildri leaned forward in her chair, towards the queen.

"I do not know how much you know of some recent events in and around the city, so I will explain it all. Denerim has been in turmoil since Ostagar. Many people here are angry or grieving. Oddly enough, the unrest is worst in the Alienage. Few elves accompanied the army, so they should have little reason to be upset."

"It might have something to do with the fucking _Purge_ that Howe called down on them after having his title for five minutes." Ildri growled. Anora's eyes widened. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at Howe. And… about some other things. But I'm sorry for swearing in front of you."

"It is quite all right." Anora replied, but her brows were still raised. "I do not know what is happening there, but I am sure that Howe or my father have something to do with it."

"Is the Alienage open to the public yet?" Ildri asked.

"Yes. I have little actual power with my father being the Regent, but ordering the gates to be opened was something that I could do, and I did so before I left for Howe's estate. The Alienage should be open to you."

"Thank you." Ildri sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"You have family there, I take it?" Anora asked gently.

"My father and cousins." Ildri answered through her hand. "I just hope they're all right."

"My prayers go with you." Anora placed a hand on Ildri's knee for a moment.

"Again, thank you. Prayers never hurt anyone."

* * *

><p>Ildri left the estate with Nadia, Morrigan, Zevran, and Barkspawn in tow. On the way to the Alienage, they were waylaid by a group of thugs. After dealing with them, they looted the bodies.<p>

"Hey, Ildri," Nadia called, "this guy was dead when we got here."  
>"He'll probably have nothing of value on him, then." Ildri replied.<p>

"Some kind of journal is all I found, if you want a look." Ildri walked over to the dwarf, who handed her the item in question. She flipped it open to the last few entries and frowned.

"Something about a coven of blood mages, here in the city. He must have been a Templar." Ildri mused.

"You think it's worth looking into?" Nadia asked.

"Not with just the five of us. If there are really blood mages there, we're definitely going to need Alistair." Ildri pointed out. "Anyway, let's keep going."

* * *

><p>Ildri choked back her tears upon seeing the Alienage. There were dead animals rotting in the gutters, and elves lying about in the sun. She took a deep breath and lifted her chin before striding into what had once been her home. <em>Might still be my home. I don't know how well I'll be received. <em>Just outside of the house she'd shared with her father, there were three elves beating on a human man. Ildri rolled her eyes and picked up her pace.

"Are you lot stupid?" She snapped. "They _just opened_ the fucking gates, and you're gonna beat the shit out of some stupid human? Get out of here." She waved her arms and they cleared out.

"Thank you, thank you!" The man said.

"I didn't do it for _you_, I did it for _them_. You shouldn't have come here in the first place. Get the fuck out of here." She continued walking before he could answer. Her pace slowed as she approached her father's house.

"What is this, Warden?" Zevran asked.

"This is the house I grew up in." She replied quietly. "I… can you guys stay here for a bit? Outside, I mean?" She glanced over her shoulder at her companions, and they all agreed to remain outside. "I don't know how long I'm going to be, though."

"Do what you gotta do, girl." Nadia encouraged. Ildri nodded before pushing open the door.

"Papa?" She spoke as soon as the door was closed. "It's Ildri. Papa, are you here?"

"Maker's breath, Ildri, is that really you?" It wasn't her father who spoke, but her cousin Soris. "It's so good to see you!" A wide smile graced Ildri's lips as she embraced her cousin.

"Did you and Valora move in after I left?" Soris released her but left a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, we did, but I'm the only one here right now." He admitted.

"I must have missed them on the way in. How's married life treating you? Has Valora taught you to read yet?" Ildri's eyes swept over Soris. He was a bit thinner than he'd been when she had left, she noticed.

"Um… yeah, she did. How did you know she could read?" He frowned slightly.

"I met someone who knows her mother… hers, and Nelaros'." She explained. "How's Shianni?"

"Same as always, stirring up trouble." He gave her a small smile.

"Of course she is. I'd be worried if she _wasn't_ stirring up trouble." Ildri shook her head. "I'll come by later, and we can talk some more. I've got a couple of people waiting outside for me." She turned and walked towards the door. "If Papa comes in while I'm out, tell him I stopped by, won't you?" She didn't see the grimace flicker over his features at her words, and walked out the door. Her companions looked over at her as she walked out of the building.

"That wasn't long at all." Nadia teased.

"My father isn't in right now. I did see my cousin Soris, though."

"He came to help you, right?" She asked, and Ildri nodded.

"Yes. Papa and Shianni are probably in the square." Ildri looked around as she led her companions to the square.

"Excuse me, ser?" She followed the voice to a haggard-looking elven man.

"I'm not a 'ser'," she said, not ungently, "but what can I do for you?"

"Spare a silver for a war veteran?" Ildri raised a brow.

"Elves don't fight in the King's Army." She pointed out.

"Just cause I wasn't on the front lines don't mean I didn't pick up a weapon down south." He defended, and Ildri blanched.

"Ostagar?" She asked.

"Darkspawn took off half my foot." He confirmed, showing her his oddly-wrapped foot.

"Here." She handed him a sovereign. "This should feed you for a while, if nothing else." His eyes were nearly as large as the coin she offered.

"Andraste bless you, ser." He said fervently. "I won't forget you." She gave him a small smile before heading out towards the square. Morrigan sniffed, probably in disapproval, but Ildri ignored her. Upon entering the square, they saw a large group of elves – Ildri supposed it was nearly everyone left in the Alienage – crowded in front of a building. _Nessa's family's house, I think._ There were a few raised voices, but one stood out above them all.

"Didn't you people learn _anything_ from the wedding? _No one is going to help us._ We have to take care of ourselves." Shianni was standing apart from the crowd, and Ildri smiled at her cousin's back as she walked towards her. Shianni was arguing with an elven woman and a human – Ildri did a double take at that.

"Quit trying to get us all killed, Shianni! Some of us still have things to live for." An elven man sneered.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Ildri demanded, walking up to him.

"I don't believe it." Shianni breathed, but Ildri was still glaring at the elven man. Once he was sufficiently cowed, Ildri embraced her cousin. "They said that all the Grey Wardens died with the King! Everyone thought… Valendrian even held a funeral for you." Ildri blinked back tears.

"I'm sorry, Shianni. I was in Denerim a few months ago, and all I wanted to do was come in and see you all." Ildri hadn't quite blinked enough, and tears slid down her cheeks. "That couldn't have been easy for you all."

"It sucked." Shianni agreed. "I'm so glad to see you. So much has happened since you've been gone, but it's good that you're home."

"I'm not staying in Denerim long. Another week, tops. Then it's back to the Blight."

"What are you doing in Denerim, then?" Shianni asked. "Not that I'm complaining, I'd be crazy to do that."

"Trying to do the seemingly impossible." Ildri smirked.

"That definitely sounds like you." Shianni smiled back.

"Where's Papa? I saw Soris at home, but he said that Papa and Valora weren't in, and I don't see them here." Shianni blanched and looked down at the ground.

"Well, um…." She eyed Ildri's companions for a moment before continuing. "Maybe we should go somewhere so you can be sitting down when I tell you this." Ildri's heart began to race, and all the worst-case scenarios she could imagine flew through her mind almost simultaneously.

"Is he all right?" She finally managed to say.

"I can't promise you that." Her cousin said cautiously. "The Tevinters quarantined your father yesterday. I told him not to go! Not _one_ elf they've taken has come back. We don't know what's happened to them." Ildri's heart leapt into her throat and she felt a small pit of anger beginning to grow.

"Tell me everything." She growled. Shianni explained about how refugees from Ostagar had apparently brought the Blight sickness with them, and the Tevinters had volunteered – out of the apparent kindness of their hearts, no less – to come all the way to Tevinter to prevent it from spreading.

"'Tis ridiculous." Morrigan scoffed. "Magic cannot prevent the spread of the Blight, or there would a far greater number of mages in the ranks of the Wardens."

"Where is the hahren?" Ildri asked.

"He was one of the first taken." Shianni admitted.

"This will not stand." Ildri announced.

"I knew you'd do something, Ildri!" Shianni wrapped her arms around Ildri once more.

"Not right away. Morrigan, would you kindly fly back to the estate and bring the others? Preferably without letting Riordan know." Morrigan gave her a small smirk and walked back towards the gate.

"'The others'?" Shianni queried. Ildri glanced around them, then took her cousin by the arm and took her to the far side of the square, and away from eavesdroppers.

"This is the last thing that either of us want to hear, but I have to be honest with you. The Tevinters don't do anything out of the kindness of their hearts – they're making money out of this."

"What? Ildri, what are you talking about?" Shianni demanded, and Ildri sighed.

"This is, more likely than not, a front for collecting slaves to be sold in the Imperium." Ildri told her. "I've read a lot about Tevinter, and none of it's good. I can't believe that Alarith didn't _say_ anything!" Ildri growled.

"He's been keeping to himself in his store. He was helping to hide Soris –"

"Wait, what do you mean, _hide_ him?" Ildri interrupted.

"A lot of people blame him." Shianni growled. "Can you believe it? They blame _Soris_ for what the new Arl did to us!"

"They should be blaming _me_." Ildri ground out. "It was _my_ _fucking fault_. _I_ was the one who decided to kill everything in the estate. _I_ was the one who killed that bastard."

"Some of them do, but you weren't here."

"That doesn't make it right." Ildri looked over at the crowd. "What the fuck happened to 'pride in our community'?"

"I know, Ildri. They're stupid, scared people. They think that since _this_ is the way that things have always been, there's _nothing_ to do but _make the most of it._ They don't know how to _change_ anything." Shianni sighed and looked up at Ildri. "I'd probably think the same, if not for you." Ildri snarled and began to pace.

"I can't fucking believe it." She snapped, walking up and down beside the vhenadahl tree. "Small-minded fucking people, thinking that everything's going to just work itself out, all on its own… makes me wonder, sometimes, why we even _bother_ breeding."

"You're serious?" Shianni asked.

"Absolutely." She unconsciously spun the wedding band on her finger. "What's the point if we're not even going to _try_ and make it better? All we do is keep our heads down, like animals. People die every winter from cold, and starvation, and sickness, and we just keep popping out more baby elves to live in this shithole." Ildri threw her hands in the air. "I just don't fucking get it."

"Are you going to have any kids, you think?" Shianni asked quietly.

"Not if I have to raise them here." She gesticulated angrily. "I love my father – I really do – and I love my mother. If there were more people here willing to be just a little bit more like her, I wouldn't be so pissed off about it. But on the other hand, I'll probably never get pregnant."

"What do you mean?" Shianni pressed.

"It's a Grey Warden thing. The same thing that helps me fight against darkspawn makes it really hard to have kids." Ildri sighed and sat on the stairs to the stage – the same stage upon which her disaster of a wedding had taken place. Shianni sat down beside her and took her hand.

"Even with everything that's going on, I'm glad you're here. I _know_ that you can do something about this. Everyone else is content to just let our people disappear and ask nothing about it."

"Has absolutely everyone that's gone through that door not come back?" Ildri looked over at her cousin. "Well… I can't say every single one of them has, no. a few people have come back."

"What about the people they take? What can you tell me about them?" Ildri pressed.

"Most of them were perfectly healthy, while only a few have had nothing more than a slight cough." Shianni shook her head. "I'm just so worried about everyone." Ildri squeezed her cousin's hand.

"We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise." The two women sat in silence, waiting for Morrigan to return with the others. It didn't take long. With Sten, Alistair, Andreina and Amber, Ildri felt confident that they could take on just about anything that the Tevinters might throw at them. Ildri gathered all of her companions and explained to them what Shianni had relayed to her. Andreina looked slightly ill, as did Alistair, but Sten looked angry.

"What are we waiting for?" He demanded. "We can get rid of these few mages."

"I'm going to go in first, see if it's actually legit." Ildri put up a hand to forestall any arguments that her companions might make. "Yes, I know that it's highly unlikely, and yes, I know that it's extremely dangerous. But that's my _family_ in there. I don't want to go in there and kill everything that we see and end up killing the entire Alienage."

"What are we supposed to do, then? If it's legitimate, they probably won't let you out." Andreina pointed out.

"I'll just point out that as a Grey Warden, whatever this so-called 'Blight plague' is can't affect me." Ildri squared her shoulders and approached the hospice.

"There is no need to push!" One of the mages was saying. "We will work our spell for each person in –" The mage did a double take when he saw Ildri. "Hessarian's mercy, how long have you been ill, woman?" The mage grabbed her by the arm and dragged her towards the door.

"The rest of you must stay back." The other healer cautioned. "Only the sick are allowed inside." Ildri was very surprised to note that not a single mention was made of her blades as she was shoved through the door.

"Another one, eh?" She turned to look at the guard who'd spoken. "Good. Looks like we'll exceed our quota on this run." The guard grabbed her by the collar and nearly dragged her across the room. Standing behind a desk on the other side of the room were three guards. The man with a hold on her shoved her towards the desk.

"How many females does that make?" One of the other men asked.

"Five, I think. Or four." Another man looked at something on the desk and made a mark with a quill.

"Hold a moment." One of the men peered closer at her. "That's the one the Regent's looking for, one of the Grey Wardens!" Ildri smirked as she unsheathed her sword and dagger. She heard the man behind her draw his blade and thrust her sword backwards with a hand on the pommel. She felt it meet slight resistance then slide right through the man's armor. She withdrew the blade and before he'd hit the ground she was rushing the next closest guard. He took a few steps backwards to place himself in the corner and Ildri cursed before shooting a glance at the other two guards. They'd drawn their weapons and were approaching. Ildri drew back to give herself some room and force them to come to her, where she could try to keep an eye on all of them at once. One man ran at her, sword raised and bellowing a war cry. She sidestepped and slashed her dagger at his side, making a cut through his armor. If it had gotten to his flesh it wouldn't be a very deep cut, she knew. They were trying to box her in, but she couldn't let that happen. Taking another look at her surroundings, she saw two doors other than the one she'd entered through, and that there was a corner she could withdraw to not ten paces to her right. The only problem was that there was an enemy between her and said corner. The guard smirked and raised his shield. Ildri had taken too long looking around and was rewarded for it with a shield bash from the other guard. She was thrown back a few feet and landed on her side. Ildri quickly leapt to her feet and successfully parried an attack from the guard who'd ended up behind her earlier. She raised a foot and kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind from him and causing him to stagger back a few steps. His shield dropped, and she slashed towards his face with her sword. He raised his shield half a second too late to block the attack, but caught her elbow and bending it the wrong direction. It also threw off her attack – what might have slashed his throat instead drew a deep gash from his shoulder to the underside of his jaw, but it did essentially the same thing. He could be a nuisance for a mite longer, but he wasn't going to last much longer. However, Ildri's sword slipped from her grasp with a short cry of pain. One of the two remaining men put his foot on her sword and kicked it behind him. _Son of a bitch._ For the moment, all she was armed with was her dagger, and with a shield-bearing enemy still alive, it was nearly as useless as her bare hands. She darted towards the dual-wielder, grabbing his sword arm and using her momentum to put him between her and the man with the shield. She kept her hold on his arm and kicked at his dagger hand, trying to make him drop it. He slipped his blade beneath the blow and landed a hit on her calf. _Should've seen that coming._ She had to end the fight quickly, she knew it. She pulled the man towards herself in a bit of a suicidal move and buried her dagger in his throat. He hit the floor with a gurgle and Ildri snatched his sword from his grasp. It was heavier than her own sword and had an odd design – it was narrow at the tip and widened to about the length of her hand before narrowing again. It was a blade made for chopping and hacking at one's enemies, and she put it to use as such. She landed a few hits the last man's shield, and feinted another. He raised his shield to block it and she swung the blade low, at his legs. She must have gotten a tendon, because he nearly collapsed entirely with that one blow. He raised his shield to cover him as he fell to one knee, and she kicked at it with her injured leg, not trusting it to hold her entire weight at the moment. He stumbled and Ildri thrust the blade into his chest. With the guards dead, Ildri decided to inspect the building, and hoped that there were no more hiding around. With a pronounced limp, favoring her left leg, she made her way over to the desk to see what was there.

"'Bring nine females and five males'…" There were five ticks beneath 'female', and three beneath 'male'. Ildri scooped up the sovereigns and a key sitting on the desk and retrieved her own blade before making her way to one of the doors that wasn't the one she'd come through. The door opened without need of the key. The door opened into a small room with a number of cages in it, and one of full of elves. Ildri's lip curled up into a sneer.

"Ildri?"

"Taeodor!" Ildri took out her picks and quickly opened the cage.

"Thank you. Maker, you're a sight for sore eyes." Taeodor groaned as he stepped out of the cage.

"Have you seen my father?" She demanded, and he nodded.

"Just a few hours ago, yes. They took him out of here and they left."

"Thank you." Ildri let out a breath. "Let's get you out of here." She went to the last door, to find it opened into an alley. "Come on, through here. Stay out of sight for now. I'll send Shianni around for you when it's safe to come out." She went to leave but Taeodor stopped her.

"Thank you. I knew what they said about you couldn't be true." Before she could ask what he meant, he and the others had slipped out the door. Ildri shook her head and went out the front door and closed it quietly behind her.

"Has she been processed?" The healer in front of her asked, not looking at her. Ildri didn't answer, but took a few steps forward and grabbed him by the hair so she could pull him down far enough to slice his throat open. As he fell, the other mage grabbed his staff and began preparing a spell. The crowd of elves dispersed as her companions rushed to her aid. Alistair used a Smite on the mage closest to her and he staggered. Ildri pushed the pain of her injury out of her mind as she headed into the fray. Morrigan turned her attentions to the further mage, as did Nadia, Zevran, and Andreina, while Sten charged at the mage near Ildri. Once the three 'healers' were dead Shianni came running over.

"Maker, Ildri, you're hurt!" She exclaimed as Ildri sat down on the steps of the building.

"What gave it away?" She teased. Morrigan came over and inspected Ildri's leg.

"Fool woman. You are lucky the blade was no lower than this." The witch growled as she healed.

"I know. But I can't stop now. My father was here only a few hours ago."

"What are they doing with them?" Shianni asked.

"Collecting." Ildri handed Morrigan the ledger she'd retrieved and the witch frowned. "Where does the alley behind here lead to?" Ildri looked at Shianni.

"More buildings. It doesn't really go anywhere." Ildri nodded.

"Taeodor and some other elves are out back. Go let them know it's safe to come out; I told them I'd send you when it was." The red-haired elven woman nodded and left.

"You were correct, Ildri." Morrigan murmured, still poring over the ledger. "'Tis not only here, either. Amaranthine and Highever have also been… _harvested._"

"The one thing that all three Alienages have in common – other than being Alienages, of course – is Howe." Ildri pointed out. "Is there anything we can use in there?"

"'Tis all numbers. There are no names mentioned within." Morrigan handed the book back and Ildri packed it away.

"Might come in handy later." Shianni returned with the freed elves. "Get them taken care of as best you can. Food, medicine."

"We don't have much of anything." The woman admitted. Ildri handed over the money that she'd collected from the hospice.

"I found that inside. They're not going to have much use for it." Ildri snarked. She looked up at her companions. "Let's get moving."

* * *

><p>"What is the meaning of this?" A female voice demanded. "We were promised that there would be no interference from local authorities!" The owner of said voice was a dark-haired elven woman.<p>

"Do I _look_ like the fucking _authorities_?" Ildri demanded in turn.

"You _look_ like an elf with more curiosity than sense." The woman replied. "You will regret this. Believe or no, we have dispensation to do business here."

"Not as much as you will." Ildri growled, and launched herself at the other woman. The dark-haired elf took her bow in hand and nocked an arrow. _She can't fire at you if you're in her face._ The room that they were in was cramped, so Sten would be unable to fight much for now. With the half-dozen slavers and nine… _Vigilantes?_ of them, an already small fighting area became even more claustrophobic. Ildri fought in extremely close quarters with the other elf, forcing her to block her attacks with the bow when she could. There were far more times that the woman couldn't block, and so had numerous cuts from Ildri's blades. Ildri's sword slipped past the bow and into the other woman's stomach with a wet sound. Ildri pulled on her sword as the woman fell off. After the rest of the slavers were dealt with, they continued down the hall with Ildri, Zevran, and Nadia in the lead watching for traps. There were a few, and they were dismantled easily enough. They encountered very few slavers on their way through the building until they entered the final room. Ildri and her companions stood on a stage of sorts overlooking the rest of the room. A man – Ildri supposed he must be in charge – with a bald head and a beard took a few steps towards them.

"I am Caladrius, and you must be the Grey Warden I have heard so much about." He folded his arms across his chest.

"Then you know better than to fuck around with me." Ildri snapped back.

"Yes, well, we all think that at one point or another, don't we?" He smirked. "I have heard that you are trying to depose Loghain, correct? A difficult task… perhaps you could use some help?"

"So you do have Loghain's blessing for this." Ildri stated.

"'Blessing' is a strong word…" Caladrius grimaced. "To be more accurate, he does not ask where the money comes from, and we do not attract attention to ourselves, and he leaves us alone. However, the aforementioned arrangement vanishes when people such as yourselves storm my place of business."

"_Business_? Is _that_ what you call this?" Ildri growled. "You stole my _family_, you son of a bitch."

"Very well." He sighed. "It appears that we shall have to do this the hard way." Caladrius reached over his shoulder for his staff and Ildri burst into motion, drawing her weapons.

"Don't bunch up together!" She shouted. "Alistair!" She pointed towards the mage with his sword, but Alistair was one step ahead of her, already preparing a Smite. Morrigan waved her own staff and caught Caladrius up in a spell. For now, he was trapped. Ildri kept an eye on the mage as she engaged one of the other slavers. It appeared that he was the only mage in the room, for which she was grateful. _I should have Alistair teach someone some of his Templar moves, considering he's going to be staying behind after the Landsmeet._ Morrigan's spell fizzled, and Caladrius was free once more. He slashed his palm with a dagger and waved his arm in Ildri's direction. It was the most intense pain she'd ever felt – as though her blood was boiling in her veins. She struggled to regain any control of her body, but there was nothing she could do as her blades slipped from her grasp and she fell. All she could do was scream.

"_Bas saarebas!" _The spell ended as Caladrius' concentration broke, but Ildri didn't have the strength to rise from the floor. She lay there, her body twitching and shuddering as the battle raged on around her. Sten had engaged the mage and was pushing him towards the wall.

"Enough!" Caladrius cried out. He was the only Tevinter left – Ildri's companions had made short work of the others. "I surrender." Ildri forced herself to her feet and collected her sword and dagger before crossing the room.

"Surrender?" Ildri wheezed. "I don't think so." _I don't know what spell that was, but that fucking __**hurt**__._

"Please! Hear me out, dear lady! Were I to use the life force of the remaining slaves here, I could augment your physical health a great deal!" Ildri sneered down at him.

"They are _not_ _slaves_. Their lives are not…" Ildri put a hand to her head, feeling faint. That spell of his had taken a lot out of her. "_Not_ yours to _toy_ with. You end here, now." Ildri nodded at Sten. She didn't think she'd be able to even lift her sword, never mind swing it with enough force to put the slaver out of his misery. Caladrius raised his hands, preparing a spell, but Sten's blow landed before the spell could form. The mage's bald head rolled away from his body, which slumped to the floor. "Nadia, could you see if he has anything of value on him? Zevran, I think I'll need help with these cages." There were just over a dozen elves in the cages surrounding them. Zevran went to one cage, and Ildri to another. She broke more lockpicks than she had since she'd first been learning, but she finally opened the door. An elf in the back pushed past the others, and Ildri smiled when she realized who it was. "Papa!" Cyrion smiled in return and threw his arms around her. Ildri squeezed him tightly, feeling tears prick her eyes.

"My little girl…" He murmured and kissed her hair. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I was so scared that we were going to be too late." She choked. Ildri felt tears slide down her cheeks, but she didn't care. "Where's Valora, and Valendrian?"

"Don't feel guilty about them, Ildri." Cyrion told her. "There was nothing you could do." Ildri closed her eyes and leaned her head against her father's shoulder. They probably would have stood there longer, but Ildri's legs trembled under her weight. She was still weakened from the blood magic.

"You need to sit down, get some food in you." Cyrion pulled away and looked around the room. "Not much in here that isn't covered in blood, though." He frowned.

"Then we'll leave." Ildri took a step back, but kept his hand in hers. "Nadia, did you find anything?"

"I think so. Zevran and I'll take a better look around, but you guys can go on." Nadia waved towards the door against the back wall.

"I don't know where all of the others are going, but I'm going home for a while. You're welcome to come, or go to the estate." Alistair, Andreina, and Amber were returning to the estate, and after Zevran and Nadia completed their sweep of the slavers' den, they would be as well. They promised to stop by before doing so, to drop off anything of import that they discovered. Morrigan didn't say what she was going to do. Barkspawn had nearly glued himself to Ildri's side, and Sten remained close as well.

"What estate? What's going on?" Cyrion asked, brows furrowed.

"Well, you probably heard about Ostagar…" Ildri began, and her father blanched.

"Yes. Even while Valendrian held your funeral, I prayed that you were alive, and that the rumors were wrong." He squeezed her hand. "Thank the Maker that they were."

"Well, Alistair and I were supposed to light the signal fire…"

* * *

><p>The walk back to their home wasn't that far, but Ildri was leaning heavily on Barkspawn before long. There was nothing that Morrigan could do for her with magic – she needed rest, and food. Her body would recuperate on its own. On the walk back, Ildri relayed the edited version of events so far – no mention of deals with demons, or most of the events within the Gauntlet.<p>

"So… that elf back there, he was the one hired to kill you?" Cyrion asked. They'd reached their house.

"Yes. He gave me his word to serve me, and to fight with me. He's not gone back on it."

"Maybe he's just waiting." Cyrion frowned.

"Nadia's taking care of him." Ildri waved off his concern.

"Meaning?" He pressed.

"They're sleeping together." She informed him. Cyrion shook his head and opened the door, where Soris and Shianni were waiting.

"Uncle Cyrion!" They both cried and ran over to embrace him and Ildri. Barkspawn was nudged out of the way and growled up at Soris.

"It's okay. He's family." Ildri soothed the mabari, who only sniffed before settling down in a corner. Ildri looked back at Sten and had to stifle a chuckle. His head was a few inches shy of the ceiling.

"Valora…?" Soris asked, and Ildri sighed regretfully. Cyrion shook his head. Soris' shoulders slumped and he threw himself down in a chair. "I don't think that I _loved_ her – we didn't know each other very long – but I was getting used to having her around, you know?" Cyrion patted the younger man on the shoulder.

"I know, Soris. Now, is there any food around here, or have you not been out yet?"

"I don't think there's enough to feed us all." Soris replied, eyeing Sten, who still stood in the doorway, looking very out of place. "I haven't had much chance to get anything."

"I can go and do that." Shianni volunteered. "How much d'you think we'll need?"

"More than you can afford." Ildri answered. She fished around in her coin purse and took out a handful of sovereigns. "As much as you can carry, cousin. And I'm being serious." She said when Shianni raised a brow. The other woman's eyes widened when she was what Ildri was handing her.

"Maker, Ildri, I can't take this! This is a bloody fortune!" Ildri winced, remembering when she'd once thought the same thing.

"This is what you're taking. You'll need it to feed me."

"You were never a big eater." Cyrion commented.

"I'll explain once Shianni gets back. And you all have to promise not to breathe a word of what I tell you to anyone." Ildri included Sten in her gaze.

"Of course." Cyrion nodded. "But I think that you need to rest."

"Oh! I can't believe I forgot." Ildri flushed. "Sten, Barkspawn, this is Cyrion, my father, and my cousins, Soris and Shianni. Everyone, this is Sten of the Beresaad, and my mabari, Barkspawn."

"What were you thinking?" Shianni snickered.

"I didn't name him." Ildri defended. "But I think that Papa's right… I got hit by a nasty spell from a blood mage, and I feel like shit." Her father winced. "I'm going to go take a bit of a nap. I'll probably wake up when I smell food, though." Shianni walked out of the door and Cyrion was inviting Sten to take a seat when Ildri left the room. She walked over to her bed and ran a hand along the blanket, wearing a small, sad smile and reminiscing. She took off her bloody armor and crawled under the blankets.

* * *

><p><em>The dragon flew past her, landing on a bridge that spanned a massive chasm in the ground. She couldn't see down the hole, but she could see shadows lining the cavern walls, shadows from countless lights and creatures' movements. <em>

—**SO YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY IS SAFE**—

_Her head snapped up to see the dragon regarding her. _

"_For now. Your turn's coming." She replied. _

—**YOU MAY THINK SO, DOOMED—WE HAVE HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE—**

"_And I told you before that I would win. I will see you dead."_

—**WE BOTH KNOW THAT IS NOT SO —SHOULD YOU BE THE ONE TO SLAY ME, YOU WILL NOT EVEN SEE YOUR AFTERLIFE—**

_Ildri swallowed around the lump in her throat. _

"_That's just speculation. No one knows for sure what happens to the soul of the Warden who slays the Archdemon of their Blight." Urthemiel laughed, the sound grating on Ildri's very soul, it felt. _

—**I AM A GOD, AND YOU THINK I DO NOT KNOW—YOU ARE A FOOL, AND YOU WILL DIE— **

"_Funny thing about that – people try to kill me all the time, and I keep on disappointing them." Ildri put her hands on her hips. _

—**I AM NO MERE 'PERSON', LITTLE THING—**

"_But you'll die like one." She growled. _

—**I TIRE OF THIS DISCUSSION—**

_The dragon drew in a breath and exhaled purple fire at Ildri._

Ildri shot up in the bed with a shriek. Her hands roamed over her face and body, reassuring herself that she was fine, that she wasn't burnt.

"Ildri! What's wrong?" Shianni stood in the door, eyes wide.

"N-nothing, Shianni. Just a nightmare." Ildri breathed. Her cousin approached carefully and sat down on the foot of the bed.

"You never used to have nightmares." Shianni pointed out.

"I know." Ildri smirked. "Never scared of anything."

"Is there something you're scared of now?" Her cousin pressed, and Ildri shook her head.

"No, I'm not. The nightmares aren't from fear."

"Then what? You've changed, Ildri. A lot."

"I know." Ildri put a hand on top of Shianni's. "But this isn't a conversation for just the two of us. Let me get dressed, and I'll be right out." She looked over to where she'd left her armor only to see that it was gone.

"Your friend's cleaning it for you. I'll get you something else to wear." Shianni rose from the bed and rummaged around in a chest. "Some of your old clothes are still here. _Something_ should fit you still." Upon seeing her cousin had scrounged up a dress, Ildri wrinkled her nose. "I know, not your favorite. But you won't fit in anything that's not yours." Ildri sighed and rose from the bed, taking the dress from her cousin. Shianni hugged her quickly before leaving the room. While dressing, Ildri had an inner debate about how much she should tell her family. _I have to tell them about the Calling… thirty years. It'll break Papa's heart, but he deserves to know. But I won't share much about the Joining – I can't. Should I tell them about the sacrifice? It's not like I'm the only Warden, though. _Ildri sighed, shaking her head. She went into the kitchen, looking at her family. Barkspawn was still lounging in a corner, and Sten was sitting on the floor with Ildri's armor. Soris was sitting at the table, while Cyrion was cooking.

"I don't think that any of our furniture would have held his weight." Cyrion gestured towards Sten.

"Makes sense. It's not every day you have a guest who has to duck to get in." Ildri smirked at her father.

"Supper's almost ready. Is everything all right?" Her father pressed.

"Just a nightmare. I promise to explain as much as I can, but after food." Ildri's stomach growled loudly in agreement.

"I just about got mugged on my way back." Shianni said, and Ildri winced.

"I should have sent Barkspawn or Sten with you. I'm sorry."

"I made one trip, and he just shook his head at me. He decided it wasn't enough, and came with me the second time." Shianni grinned. "I had a lot less trouble that time."

"Thank you, Sten." Ildri smiled at the Qunari.

"I did not do it for her, kadan." Sten didn't look up from his work.

"What was that?" Shianni asked, her smile widening. "Is that a pet name?"

"Maker, no!" Ildri protested.

"What is a pet name?" Sten asked, looking up at her. _Ha, I've got the Qunari looking up at me._

"It's like a nickname." Ildri began to blush. "Except it's between family members."

"Or lovers!" Shianni added.

"Qunari don't use names." Ildri said before Sten could say anything. "They use titles. I was 'Warden' for a long time."

"What changed?" Soris asked.

"I found his sword." She replied, and Shianni burst out laughing, causing Ildri's blush to darken. "Not like that! Maker's breath, Shianni!"

"He told us a bit about why he was here." Soris commented. Ildri looked over at Sten, who still gazed up at her.

"We met in Lothering." Ildri began, trying to figure out how to make his story family-friendly. "He and some other members of the Beresaad had come to Ferelden to answer a question for the arishok – their leader. They fought darkspawn at Lake Calenhad, and Sten lost his sword. He views his sword as his soul, and he wouldn't have been able to return home without it."

"How did he get to Lothering?" Cyrion asked. _Shit._

"Some farmers found him and nursed him back to health." Ildri paused, thinking. "When he woke and couldn't find his sword –"

"I killed them. All of them." Sten interrupted. Cyrion dropped the spoon he was holding, and it clattered loudly against the floor. "I lost control of myself. I waited for people to come, and when the Templars came I admitted my crime and did not resist when they put me in the cage."

"Yes, he did something horrible, but the Revered Mother was no better." Ildri spoke hurriedly. "He was in that cage – yes, a cage, not a jail cell or anything – outside, exposed to the elements, with no food, for thirty days. They were going to leave him for the darkspawn. I had to invoke the Right of Conscription before she'd give me the key to his cage." Sten's head snapped up, and Ildri remembered that she'd not told him that part yet. "Anyway, I let him out, and he's been an asset ever since. I don't regret letting him out. I found his Asala as well as the swords of his brothers in Redcliffe. After having Morrigan – our mage companion – ensure that they weren't tainted, I returned them to him."

"You certainly have… interesting companions, daughter." Cyrion commented, and Ildri winced. That tone of voice meant that they'd be having a private conversation later. A few minutes later Cyrion declared that the food was ready, and handed out dinnerware, making sure to put a bowl on the floor for the mabari. Ildri scarfed down her first plate and was working on her second while the others were barely half done their first.

"Um… when did you eat last?" Shianni asked, eyeing her cousin.

"It's a Grey Warden thing." Ildri explained between bites. "With four of us in camp, it's a miracle that any of us get enough to eat."

"I'll say." Soris chuckled. Ildri was eating her third plate as the others finished their meals. Cyrion and Sten had gone back for seconds. When she was finished, Ildri sat back with a sigh.

"That was good, Papa." Ildri smiled over at her father.

"I gathered." He smiled back.

"Now, you promised that you'd tell us about being a Grey Warden after supper." Shianni sat up in her chair, leaning her elbows on the table.

"I did, and I will. But you all have to promise that nothing I say leaves here." Once the four of them had promised, Ildri took a deep breath. "As a side effect of the Joining, I eat more. Obviously." She smiled and gestured towards her empty plate. "I need more food to fuel the greater amount of stamina that I have. Get your mind out of the gutter, Shianni." Ildri looked over as her cousin snickered.

"I didn't say anything!" She protested.

"You didn't have to." Ildri replied. "I can also sense darkspawn. They can also sense us. The longer a person's been a Warden, the stronger the taint… echoes, for lack of a better word. And the more accurately, and further, one can sense them." Ildri's eyes met Cyrion's. "I won't live past fifty years of age, and that's if I'm lucky." Her father's eyes widened, and both of her cousins started.

"What do you mean?" Cyrion demanded.

"I'm dying. It's the trade-off. In exchange for being able to detect darkspawn and easily kill them… I have maybe thirty years. That's only an estimate – it could be more, or less. And that's only if I don't fall in battle."

"Will you just… fall over dead? Is there any warning?" Shianni asked.

"A Grey Warden never rests easy – we dream of the darkspawn all the time, but I'm told it's worse for those who actually Joined during a Blight – like I did. I dream of the Archdemon all the time. That's what happened earlier, actually." Ildri nodded towards Shianni. "But when someone's close to their Calling, the dreams will get worse, to the point where they're lucky to catch a few hours of sleep."

"What's the calling?" Soris pressed.

"The Calling," she emphasized the word, "is when we know our time has come. We go down to the Deep Roads to take as many darkspawn with us when we go. But I don't know if I'll do that. The Maker knows that suicide is a sin, but…" she shrugged her shoulders.

"But what?" Cyrion insisted. Ildri looked at Shianni.

"If the darkspawn come to Denerim… don't let them take you. If you have to kill yourself, do it. Please, Shianni." Ildri grabbed her cousin's hand. "Promise me you won't let them take you alive."

"I promise, Ildri, but what's wrong?" Shianni turned her hand over, so they were palm-to-palm. "You need to tell me."

"That's how they make more of them." Ildri whispered. "They take us… women, whether human or elf or dwarf – and probably Qunari, too –" she shot a glance at Sten "– and make _us_ like _them_. I've never seen one, and I hope I never will." Shianni pressed her other hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry, but I needed to tell you. Make sure that others know, too." Shianni nodded, too shaken to speak.

"Why the Deep Roads?" Soris asked softly, and Ildri sighed. _Fuck it._

"To become a Grey Warden we drink a potion. There's lyrium… and blood. Archdemon and darkspawn blood." Cyrion's knuckled turned white, he was clenching his fists so hard. "There's a very good possibility that you might not even survive it. I was the only survivor from my own Joining. There were three of us." Her fingers rested on her Warden's Oath amulet. "It makes us immune to the taint… but only temporarily. That's what the Calling is – it's your immunity wearing off. If you don't die, you become the next best thing to a darkspawn yourself. Funnily enough, that's when you're safest from the 'spawn. By that point, your taint feels no different to them then their own does, and they think you're one of them."

"When did they tell you any of this?" Cyrion breathed. There were tears shining on his cheeks.

"That the Joining could kill me? Not until right before Duncan handed Daveth the cup. The rest of it, I found out…" Ildri did a bit of mental math. "A month or more after Ostagar."

"Why?" her father whispered. "Why do they do this?"

"Because regardless of what Loghain thinks, Grey Wardens are the only ones who can truly end a Blight. If anyone but a Warden kills the Archdemon, its soul will travel to the nearest thing with the taint, which would probably be a darkspawn. But if a Warden kills it… they're the closest one with the taint. The Warden absorbs the soul… and they…" Ildri had tears sliding down her own cheeks, now. "And the two souls destroy each other. They both die. The 'spawn disperse, and they go back underground, looking for a new Archdemon to taint."

"Why doesn't anyone _know_ about this?" Shianni demanded. "This is just _wrong!"_

"Who would volunteer for this?" Ildri asked in turn. "And in my experience, it's the ones who volunteer, the ones who are looking for glory, that do the worst."

"What do you mean?" Soris asked.

"At my Joining, there were two men. Jory and Daveth. Daveth was a pickpocket from around here – Duncan saved him from hanging. Jory had won some tournament in Highever, and was looking forwards to being a part of the 'glorious Grey Wardens'. The Joining killed Daveth. Duncan killed Jory. Jory had changed his mind, and attacked Duncan, who only acted in self-defence. Of the Wardens I have with me now, I don't know much about Riordan – you didn't meet him today – but Duncan saved Nadia from death in Orzammar, and he took Alistair from the Chantry. He was training to be a Templar, and he hated it there." Ildri sighed. "I don't know what makes – or lets – people survive the Joining or die from it. I honestly know next to nothing about all this shit."

"Ildri…" Cyrion chided. Ildri stuck out her tongue. They fell into silence for a while, until Cyrion sat up suddenly. "Before I forget, your friends stopped by while you were sleeping." He got op from his chair and picked something up from the counter, then handed it to her. It was a stack of papers – mostly notes on how many more elves they needed to meet certain orders, but there were a few pieces of correspondence between Arl Howe and Caladrius.

"…_our arrangements in both Amaranthine and Highever were extremely successful, and I would like to invite you to Denerim. I hope that we will continue to have a prosperous relationship…"_ Ildri read aloud.

"He did the same thing somewhere else?" Soris asked.

"In _two_ other places." Ildri confirmed. "With this, I might have enough to get Loghain to flip on him…" Ildri sat back and tapped her lip.

"What are your plans, kadan?" Sten asked, and Ildri jumped.

"Shit, I forgot you were here." She admitted ruefully. "But I want Loghain to join the Wardens. With such damning evidence against him, this may be enough for Loghain to point the finger at Howe, implicating him in even worse things." Ildri put the papers in her bag and her fingers brushed the Templar's journal, found in the alley earlier in the day. "But before I go see him, there's one more lead that I want to check out. We can do that tomorrow, though." Ildri looked out the window and saw that the sun was low in the sky. "We should probably get back. We're staying at the Redcliffe estate, if you ever need anything." Ildri stood and embraced each of her cousins, and then her father.

"We still need to talk." Her father said, wagging a finger at her.

"I'll stop by tomorrow. I can't tell you when, but I will." She promised, then pressed a kiss to his cheek. He pulled her into an embrace before letting her leave. She hugged both of her cousins, then she, Sten, and Barkspawn left the Alienage.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Ildri, Nadia, Zevran, Morrigan, Sten, and Barkspawn slipped out of the estate before the sun was up. Ildri wanted to check out the blood mage den before speaking to Eamon. She couldn't guarantee that Alistair or Andreina would remain silent, but she hoped that not being at the estate would be enough of a hint.<p>

"What has your curiosity so piqued?" Morrigan asked, walking beside her.

"Blood mages can control people and stuff, right?" Ildri asked in turn, and the witch nodded. "And the slavers – the Tevinters – are blood mages. This might be a secondary base for them. This might not be the first time they've even grabbed elves, just the first time they've been so open about it. I can't imagine that the Revered Mother would let a bunch of mages walk around, even if it was only in the Alienage."

"You think that this woman may have been party to the slavery?" Morrigan raised her brows.

"Either that, or she was…" She waved a hand. "I don't know the word. Blood magicked. And some other people, maybe. We won't know unless we check it out."

"You have a fine mind when you choose to use it." Morrigan smiled at her.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Ildri smirked.

"'Twas how I meant it." It didn't take them long to get to the address listed in the journal; a few hours at most. The front door opened easily enough, which was unexpected. The first room they entered was empty, but through a door and down a set of stairs they encountered their first blood mage. Zevran threw a dagger that landed in the mage's throat, killing him and removing him from the battle. There were more mercenaries in the complex than mages, for which Ildri was extremely grateful. _I really, __**really**__ don't like fighting blood mages._ The six of them moved carefully from room to room, clearing them all out. Ildri had wanted to ignore the side rooms, but Sten pointed out that they could end up trapped if they left any enemies alive behind them. In the last room there appeared to be an altar of sorts along the far wall, and the wall on her left was lined with shelves, all of which were holding small glass vials of red liquid.

"Keep those intact!" Ildri commanded. "We're going to need them." There were three mages in this room and about a half dozen guards. Morrigan cast a mass paralysis spell, letting the others dispatch the mages relatively easily. The guards, however, hadn't been caught by the spell. One of them moved towards the shelves, presumably to destroy the vials, but was stopped by Barkspawn tearing out his throat. Ildri made a point of congratulating the dog after the scuffle. Morrigan approached the shelves first, to check for wards or other forms of protective magic placed on them.

"Ildri, you will want to see this." Morrigan beckoned her over. In the witch's hand was a vial with 'Anora' written on it.

"I can't see the queen fighting often enough to lose that much blood." Ildri gestured towards the vial.

"Neither can I. I suspect that it may be her moon's blood."

"Oh, that's just nasty." Ildri grimaced. "Who else is important enough to have a bottle, I wonder?"

"Phylactery." The witch corrected, and Ildri shrugged.

"Sure. Let's take a look, shall we?" Sure enough, there was one for Loghain, as well as nearly every other noble of import. "Damn, Andy's going to be pissed." Ildri hefted the vial with the woman's name on it.

"You should return it to her. If you intend to remove any from here, I suggest wrapping them in cloth."

"Good idea." Ildri grabbed Loghain's, Anora's, and Andreina's phylacteries and wrapped them carefully.

"I do not think that Howe has one. He cooperated willingly enough, and may have provided the Tevinters with slaves in the past. This is only speculation, however." Morrigan commented.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm thinking the same thing." Ildri carefully placed the wrapped vials in her pack. "Can you magic these so that they stay safe for now? I might have to come back later." Morrigan nodded and proceeded to erect a ward.

"You will need me with you, if you wish to remove this at a later point."

"I figured as much." Ildri nodded. "I think I'm ready to have my chat with Loghain tonight."


	13. Chapter 13

**In case you didn't notice by now, I **_**really**_ **don't like Eamon. So, there's some serious Eamon-bashing ahead. Just an FYI. **

**And I apologize to Kenshiro2008 – I forgot to mention you in the last chapter – thanks for the follow and the fave!**

**Thank you to olivebgb and Tangyman for the reviews!**

* * *

><p>Upon their return to the estate, Eamon looked nearly ready to tear his hair out.<p>

"Where in Thedas have you _been_ all morning?" He demanded. "You need to stay here, and when you leave, you need to tell me." Ildri's brows rose to nearly meet her hairline.

"_Excuse _me? I don't answer to you, Eamon. I never have, and I never will. The _only_ reason you're standing here is because _I_ decided to help _you_. If I want to leave the estate, then I'll leave the fucking estate. I don't need your _permission_ to do a damned thing. I thought that our previous discussion would have made this clear to you."

"I was merely concerned for your safety –"

"Don't you give me that line of shit." Ildri scoffed. "You're just waiting for the first opportunity to get rid of me, because I don't agree with you, and I won't fall in line like you think Alistair will."

"I could have you confined to your room." Eamon blustered, and Ildri laughed.

"Do you honestly think that you could keep me here? Don't you think that Alistair or Andreina would find it the _tiniest_ bit odd if they didn't see me at all?"

"I could tell them that you had left." Eamon folded his arms across his chest. Ildri saw Alistair approaching from behind the Arl, and fought to keep a smile off her face.

"Really? They wouldn't find it odd that I'd just… disappeared, mid-Landsmeet, after I've worked my ass off to get everything together? After how hard I had to argue with you so that you'd actually call the thing?" Ildri snorted. "Alistair's not as dumb as you seem to think he is, and Andreina's a very intelligent woman. And what about my other companions? Do you honestly think that my mabari would allow you to lock me up somewhere? What about Sten, and Morrigan, and Zevran? He's an Antivan Crow, did you know that?" She smiled, sickening sweet, up at Eamon. "And what of Nadia? She has no desire to command the Wardens. She and Alistair are both senior to me – in both age, and in the Wardens." Ildri clasped her hands behind her back. "So you see, Eamon, locking me up or getting rid of me won't work like you think it might. Maybe instead of trying to force everyone to do things your way – which is extremely childish, by the way – why don't you learn how to compromise?"

"And you think you can lecture me on maturity?" Eamon scoffed. "I am old enough to be your father, child."

"Very true. You're probably far older than my father." Ildri admitted. "But when I don't get my way, I don't pout and try to get people killed, or captured. I work on a better solution." Ildri smirked as Eamon's eye twitched. "Oh, you thought I wouldn't find out that you tried to have me captured by Cauthrien, Loghain's right-hand-woman?"

"What is she talking about, Eamon?" Alistair demanded, stepping further into the room. He'd been silent, simply observing, until now. "What in the Void happened?"

"Eamon's trying to control me, and now that he's seen that he can't, he wants me gone. A letter was intercepted, telling Cauthrien that we were going to rescue Anora, except he made it sound like we were trying to kidnap her."

"Why would you do that?" Alistair asked. "I don't…" He shook his head.

"My theory? He wants you to be a puppet king. That's probably why he wasn't overly enthusiastic when we told him about Andreina. With her by your side, Eamon won't be able to get away with a damned thing." Ildri cut in.

"I _trusted_ you. I thought that you actually _cared._ About me, about the Blight… but you don't, do you?" Alistair shook his head. "All that you care about is the stupid Theirin blood, isn't it? It doesn't matter to you whether or not someone is actually _capable_ of ruling, do you?"

"It's not like that, Alistair." Eamon protested.

"I should have seen this before." Alistair sighed. "After the Landsmeet, I want nothing more to do with you."

"Don't make rash decisions –"

"Don't you _dare_ try and tell me what to do." Alistair fumed. "You tried to have one of my friends killed for the sake of your vanity and ego." Ildri fought to keep a smirk off her face.

"Alistair, you still need my support. You can't win the Landsmeet without me." Eamon reasoned.

"That may change after tonight." Ildri said, letting her smirk finally show. "I believe I have enough evidence to take to Loghain."

"Then what happens?" Alistair asked.

"If he agrees to step down, and join the Wardens? Then I'm leaving, and you, Andreina and Riordan are staying. Otherwise, we'll still be at the Landsmeet."

"I still don't like the idea of him joining us." Alistair frowned.

"I know that. But it's pretty well the only way that the country will forgive him, especially if certain things come to light. If he joins us, then he'll pay for his crimes, and the ones that he allowed."

"Eamon, I need to speak with Ildri alone." Eamon hesitated, then left the room. Ildri followed him to the door to make sure that he was gone, then closed it behind her.

"What is it?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"When were you going to tell me about this? The letter, I mean."

"If Eamon hadn't stopped me, I was actually on my way to tell you about it. I also have something that I need to give to Andreina. She might not like it, but she still needs to have it."

"Can you tell me what it is?" He asked, and Ildri sighed.

"Not everything that's happened in Denerim can be laid solely at Loghain's feet. Maybe not even what happened at Ostagar, but that's hard to tell."

"What do you mean?" Alistair pressed.

"We found a den of blood mages here in the city." Ildri took the phylacteries out of her pack and showed them to him. "There are dozens of them, but I thought that these were the most important ones to collect. Morrigan put up a ward that only she can take down, so the others are safe. I thought that Loghain might want to see actual proof, and not just take my word for it."

"Speaking of Loghain…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "…are you sure that this is what you want? I don't mean Ildri, the Grey Warden – I mean Ildri the girl who grew up in Denerim. The girl whose father was nearly sold into slavery because of Loghain's actions."

"Honestly, I don't know. It's… complicated." Ildri shrugged and looked away from him. "On the one hand, I have no idea how many elves were taken. On the other, I also know that this idea started with Howe. He's likely sold every single elf in both Amaranthine and Highever by this point. That doesn't make it right, I know that, but that does help take away the sting of it. Loghain likely had no idea what was going on in the Alienage. That's my hope, anyway."

"Thank you." Alistair murmured, and Ildri looked up at him. "For your honesty. I think that this is the first time we've ever had a meaningful conversation that wasn't about the Wardens, or the Blight, or some other catastrophe. Thank you for trusting me."

"I might trust you, but I don't think I'll ever forgive you for Barkspawn." She teased, and Alistair groaned.

"Maker, you're never going to let that one go, are you?"

"Nope." She chuckled. "Anyway, I need to have a chat with Andreina, and then Anora. They both know Loghain better than either of us do, and I need to give them these." She picked up the phylacteries. "I don't think that we should come right out and tell Anora that we've had a bit of a falling out with Eamon, but there's no way to guarantee that _he_ won't say anything, either." Ildri warned.

"Whatever you want to tell her is fine. Just tell me whatever it was later, in case she asks me about it."

"All right. You should probably come with me to tell Andreina about this, then I'll go see Anora." She waved the phylactery in question at him. He nodded, and they left the room.

* * *

><p>Andreina's hands were shaking when Ildri handed the woman the bottle of blood, but that was the only sign she gave of her discomfort.<p>

"There were some for your family, as well, but…" Ildri shrugged. Andreina could guess what Ildri hadn't wanted to say and nodded.

"Thank you. I'll take care of this one, and if you return, I would appreciate it if you would destroy theirs, as well."

"I can do that." Ildri nodded. "I'll leave the two of you for now. I need to speak to Anora, but I'll come and see you before I leave."

"Where are you headed to?" The noblewoman asked.  
>"I think I'm ready to talk to Loghain." Ildri smiled.<p>

"Good luck." Andreina smiled in return and patted Ildri's arm.

"Thank you. Alistair, would you mind letting Andreina know about what happened with Eamon?"

"I can do that." Alistair glowered at the wall, and Ildri chuckled.

"What happened?" Andreina asked, turning towards Alistair. Ildri left the room as Alistair was explaining. She passed Eamon in the hall and gave him a sarcastic smile. His return glare made her laugh. Ildri knocked on the door to Anora's chambers, and Erlina let her in.

"Warden, it's good to see you." Anora greeted her.

"'Ildri' works just fine." She sat in the chair across from Anora. "It's not my place to tell Erlina to leave, but I have some news that you may not want her to hear. I'd prefer it if she left, but I won't make you promise not to tell her later. That choice is yours."

"Erlina, please give us some time alone." Anora commanded, and the maid curtseyed and left. The queen looked back at Ildri, who simply placed the phylacteries on the table beside them. Anora put a hand over her mouth.

"These, and many more like them, were discovered in a blood mage den here in the city. I recognized a lot of names – mostly nobles – and I wouldn't be surprised if they had a few Chantry folk in the mix as well. Unless the Revered Mother was in on the slavery –"

"I beg your pardon?" Anora interrupted. "What slavery?" Ildri launched into an explanation of the events of the day before.

"But I don't think that Loghain was in on it. I didn't see Howe's name on any of the phylacteries, while I did find one for your father." She waved her hand towards it. "We found enough evidence to lead me to believe that Howe invited the slavers to Ferelden, to all three of the Alienages that he controls – Amaranthine, Highever, and here in Denerim – to fill his pockets. Loghain may suspect, or wonder where all the money comes from, but I don't think he knows."

"And if he does know? If this operation was going on with not only his knowledge, but his consent, what does that mean for my father's fate?" Anora asked, a tremor in her voice.

"Ildri the Grey Warden cannot, and will not, kill Loghain unless he gives me no other choice. Regardless of what he may or may not have been involved in."

"You are a better person than most would be, in your shoes." Anora informed her.

"I don't have much choice. I cannot, and _will_ not, allow personal feelings get in the way of my duty to Ferelden. Let's say that the whole thing had been your father's idea – which I don't believe for a second – and I took my vengeance, and killed him. That wouldn't change what he'd done. That wouldn't bring back all the elves that were taken to Tevinter. My cousin's _wife_ was taken by them. My _father_ was nearly taken by them. But killing Loghain would do nothing, except take another woman's father from her." Anora looked away and blinked, failing to keep a few tears from falling.

"Thank you. You are being far more even-minded than I probably would, in your shoes." Anora spoke after a moment.

"Well, to summarize what my mother told me, she said I needed to stop being such a pigheaded little shit." Ildri smirked and fingered the necklace that ghost-Shianni had given her.

"That's not really what she said, is it?" Anora asked, eyes wide.

"No, not even when she was alive." Ildri leaned back in her chair.

"Your mother is dead… but you spoke with her? I don't understand."

"I don't know if it actually was her, but it sure _seemed_ like her. It _felt_ like her." Ildri told the queen about the Urn of Sacred Ashes, and the journey to get there. Ildri avoided mentioning that Alistair, Andreina and Riordan had needed to kill all of the villagers, as well as her conversation with Vaughan. Even now, months after his death, just thinking of the man made her angry.

"I don't even… that sounds unbelievable." Anora told her once she was finished.

"Ask the others. Alistair, Andreina and Sten all went through it, too… but I don't think Sten will tell you much about it." Ildri allowed with a smirk. "Nice as it has been talking with you, I have a few more stops to make before heading to the palace."

"You're going directly to the palace?" Anora asked.  
>"Dress up like a servant and cover my hair, no one will give me a second glance." Ildri confirmed.<p>

"I have an idea, if you would like to hear it." Anora ventured, and Ildri gestured for her to continue. "I would like to send a letter to my father. He needs to know that I am alive and well, and my letter in your hands would help your efforts in convincing him. He has no idea where I am. I doubt that Howe told my father exactly what happened at his estate, but he will have told father that I am missing."

"How will he know that it is, in fact, from you, and that you didn't write it under duress? I doubt that simply saying that it wasn't will be enough to convince him."

"My father planned well in advance for such a contingency – he may be paranoid, but the Maker knows that his paranoia has been useful. We have safe words, for use in writing. If I write one thing, I am safe and all is well. If it is another, then I have been taken and am being held against my will, and so on." Ildri's brows rose.

"I'd heard he was paranoid, but I thought it was exaggerated." Ildri confessed.

"My father knows exactly what lengths the Orlesians will go to, to see their desires met." Anora sniffed.

"I can see the sense in having a plan like that set up. My mother told me many stories about the Occupation." Ildri stood and picked up Loghain's phylactery. "I like your idea. I'll still have to cover my hair – it's a bit conspicuous – but if you write the letter, I will deliver it to your father. If you have it ready by dinner, I'll head out after that. I have a stop to make before going to the palace."

"Very well." Anora rose and smiled down at her. "Best of luck… Ildri."

* * *

><p>Ildri spent the afternoon rereading every scrap of material that mentioned the Hero of River Dane. Most of them were simply cataloguing the events of the Occupation, and those she quickly set aside. None of them seemed to have any information that would help her persuade Loghain to join cause with her. Anora had suggested brutal honesty – simply baring the facts to him.<p>

"Don't worry about 'offending his pride'." Anora said. "He'll be more offended if he feels you're being dishonest with him, or withholding something. I believe that this was his greatest concern with the Grey Wardens to begin with." So far, this seemed to be the plan. The _only_ plan.

"Should I wear my armor?" Ildri had asked, and Anora shook her head.

"They won't even let you enter the palace that way. It's illegal for elves to bear arms or armor within the city." _It's only illegal if they __**see**__ the arms._ Zevran had shown her some time ago how to hide blades in street clothes, and she had enough knives now to carry a few hidden on her person. She couldn't wear any on her forearms – the shirt she was going to be wearing later would show them – but she had a pair of tall boots that Zevran and Nadia had helped her adapt to each hold a small knife, both with blades about the length of her hand. Anora had Erlina deliver the letter to Ildri well before dinner, and Ildri was starting to feel nervous. _Shianni would tell me to have a drink._ She considered it, then discarded the idea. Ildri had never been one for drinking, and the last thing she wanted was to show up at the palace drunk. Dinner served as a distraction while it was in front of her, but once she had finished Ildri wished she hadn't eaten so much. Morrigan had picked up on Ildri's nervousness and called her on it after dinner.

"What is wrong?" The witch asked, not unkindly.

"I'm… dammit all, I'm nervous, all right?" Ildri growled.

"He is just a man. An old man, whom you have met before. Were you nervous then?"

"Of course not." Ildri scoffed.

"Then why now? You need not fear him. He has power over you only if you give it to him." Morrigan counseled.

"Last time I wasn't walking into the dragon's den. This time I am."

"You fought a true dragon – a High Dragon, no less – in the Frostback Mountains, and you showed no fear. Why, then, do you fear a man?" Morrigan pressed, and Ildri frowned.

"I don't actually know." She confessed.

"Then there is no need for you to feel nervous." Morrigan stated. "If you do feel fear again, simply remind yourself that he is only a man, and you have slain dragons." Morrigan sauntered off, leaving Ildri to muse over what the other woman had told her. Oddly enough, remembering that _did_ make her feel less nervous. _I'll have to find some way to thank her for that._ She headed to her room to change out of her armor, and into the clothes she was wearing to the palace. She'd selected a loose-fitting three-quarter sleeve tunic, some trousers, and a bandana to cover most of her hair. Afterwards, she left the estate, with the rest of her companions meeting her at the door to wish her luck. Sten remained, and followed her out the door.

"I can't take you to the palace with me." She informed the giant.

"I will come as far as you will allow me to." He replied.

"Thank you, Sten." She smiled up at him. "I do have one stop before going to the palace, though. I promised my father I'd stop in and see him today." Sten scowled, causing Ildri to laugh. "You don't have to come into the house this time. The last thing we want is for you to smack your head on a low beam." Sten elected to remain outside the house when Ildri went inside to speak to her father.

"No armor today?" He asked, giving her a hug.

"I'm undercover today." She teased, returning the embrace. "I have a message from the queen for Loghain."

"Can't someone else deliver messages?" He asked, frowning.

"That's how I'm getting in. I need to speak with Loghain privately. I'd like to be able to convince him to side with us."

"More interesting companions, I see." Cyrion shook his head. "They're letting you go alone?"

"Sten's standing outside. I think he was uncomfortable in here yesterday. He's going to escort me to the palace as best he can."

"That's better than nothing, I guess." Cyrion's frown deepened.

"What did you want to talk to me about yesterday?" Ildri asked. Cyrion sat down at the table, and Ildri joined him.

"I don't know what to make of all this." He waved a hand. "One day, you're my little girl, getting ready for her wedding. Later that day you're leaving, perhaps forever. Then I hear that the Grey Wardens are dead, and possibly you among them. And then you came through that door…" Cyrion sighed. "While you were sleeping yesterday, your friend Nadia told us quite a bit about what you've been up to, these past months. It's hard to reconcile the young woman she tells me about with my little girl." Ildri took her father's hand and held it tightly.

"I'll _always_ be your little girl, Papa. No matter what happens, or how old I get. I promise you that."

"That's exactly it – no matter what happens. I don't want it to be my little girl taking all the risks, putting herself on the front lines. I know it's selfish of me, but I just want to keep you safe." He squeezed her hand.

"There's nothing wrong in feeling like that, but that's why I have to do this. That's why I have to be on the front lines. As much as you want to keep me safe, I want to keep all of you safe as well."

"Those things you told us yesterday… they're all true?" Cyrion asked, and Ildri nodded. "There's nothing that can be done about them?"

"Not that I know of. If I ever learn otherwise, however, I'll let you know." Ildri promised.

"Thank you. I don't want to stand at your funeral." Cyrion sighed. "You're so much like your mother, you know that?"

"I'd like to think that I'm so much like _both_ of you." Ildri clasped her father's hands. "After I leave Denerim, whenever I get a chance, I'll send you letters. They might not be the best letters, because I'm still not very good at spelling, but I'll try."

"I'll look forward to them." Cyrion smiled and patted her hand. "Before you go, I have something of your mother's here for you. After you left yesterday I went looking for it." He released her hands and stood up to walk over to the counter. "It's… one of the only things I have left of hers, but I think it'll be put to far better use in your hands than in mine." Cyrion returned with a finely-crafted dagger in his hands.

"Is this from when she was a Night Elf?" Ildri breathed, and her father chuckled.

"A person never stops being something, they just find somewhere else that needs them. Your mother found Denerim… and me." Ildri slid the dagger partway out of its sheath and her eyes widened on inspecting the blade.

"This… this is _silverite._ I didn't think that any elf had ever owned anything this fine."

"It was a gift for her service, I believe." Cyrion commented.

"Do you have any leather that I can use, Papa?"

* * *

><p>Ildri fashioned a crude leather harness for the dagger, so that it hung low between her shoulder blades. It wouldn't be reached easily for fighting, but she wanted to carry it with her, and this was the only way she'd get into the palace while carrying it. She bade her father farewell, then she and Sten headed towards the palace. Just before they would enter the field of view of anyone standing at the palace doors, Ildri stopped.<p>

"This is where we must part ways, Sten. I'll return to the estate when I can."

"What was it that the others wished you?" Sten asked.

"Luck. They wished me luck. It means that they hope I succeed." Ildri explained.

"Then I will wish you luck, as well." Sten bowed his head before turning and walking back the way they came. Ildri took a deep breath and stepped out around the corner. She walked up to the palace, eyeing the guards standing by the doors.

"The servant's entrance is around the side." The first one said, nodding his head.

"I have a letter for the Regent. I was asked to place it in his hands, and no one else's." She took the letter out of her satchel that she'd carried and showed the guard the seal.

"That's the queen's seal!" His eyes widened. "Come along, then; the Regent will want to see you immediately." The guard opened the door and held it open for her.

"Thank you." She murmured politely. The guard led her through the palace, keeping a steady, quick pace. Ildri had to step quickly to keep up, but she wasn't about to jog through the palace. The guard finally stopped before a door and rapped it with his knuckled.

"What is it?" Loghain snapped, and the guard opened the door.

"Message for you, my Lord." He snapped a quick salute, a fist to his chest. "Bearing her Majesty's seal." The guard gestured for Ildri to enter the room. It was an office, with a large, oaken desk, behind which Loghain was seated. Loghain looked over at her and shook his head.

"Very well. You may leave. Close the door behind you, and I don't want any interruptions for the next half an hour."

"Yes, my Lord." The guard bowed before leaving, closing the door behind him.

"Rather brazen of you, don't you think?" Loghain asked, leaning back in his chair. "Just waltz through the front bloody door."

"Brazen? I think not. Necessary, however." Ildri replied. "I do actually have a letter from our daughter. You should read it before we discuss anything." Ildri tossed the letter onto the desk and sat in a chair.

"Howe says you kidnapped her." Loghain didn't move to touch the letter.

"Howe is a profiteer. He'll say whatever he thinks is necessary to stay on your good side." Ildri leaned back in the chair and folded her hands in her lap. "Read the letter, and we'll talk more." _I really, really hope that Anora didn't decide to stab me in the back._ Loghain picked up the letter and broke the seal.

"You haven't read it?" He asked.

"Why would I? I trust Anora." She replied simply. Loghain grunted and began reading. Ildri looked around the room as she waited. The walls were covered in maps – some of them were framed, with a sheet of glass protecting them, while others were tacked up and written on. Upon closer inspection, Ildri realized these were maps of Ferelden and parts of Orlais. She wanted to look closer at them, but remained in her seat. _I can look at them later._ She looked back at Loghain. His brows were furrowed, and his lips moved as he was reading. He finished the letter, glanced at Ildri, then read it again.

"How much of this is actually true, and how much of this is her exaggerating?" Loghain waved the letter.

"Ask, and I'll tell you." Ildri answered. "I haven't read the letter. I can't tell you off-hand what is true and what is not."

"You smuggled the _queen_ of _Ferelden_ out a bloody _window?_" He asked, and Ildri smirked.

"That is true."

"She says that you don't want me dead, regardless of…" he looked back at the letter. "…'the incident in the Alienage'. What incident in the Alienage? I've not heard a peep out of there in months."

"I do not want to kill you." She agreed, nodding. "The 'incident' that she's referring to is the sale of elves into slavery."

"What in the bloody Void are you talking about? There is _no_ slavery in Ferelden."

"Tell that to Howe." She replied, dropping some of the recovered documents from the Tevinter warehouse on the desk. "This letter leads me to believe that he's done the same thing in both Highever and Amaranthine."

"Maker take that man." He growled. "How did I not see this?"

"They were blood mages." Ildri placed the phylactery with his name on the desk. "This, among others like it, was recovered from a den full of blood mages here in Denerim. There was also one for your daughter, but I gave it to her to dispose of. I did not find one for Howe." Loghain glowered at the phylactery.

"That day we met, when Eamon interrupted you. What were you going to say?" He asked, and Ildri blinked.

"I want your help. Eamon, however, does not. He wants you dead."

"The poisoning, I take it." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes. He thinks that if we went to the Landsmeet with all of this information – withholding the phylactery, most likely – that we would win. He would call for your execution, and likely Anora's as well. While I don't think that the testimony of an apostate blood mage would be worth anything, the fact that you kept a Templar from carrying out his duties would probably be enough to sway the nobles."

"You travel with an Orlesian Warden, don't you?"

"He claims to be a native Fereldan." Ildri answered.

"How many Orlesians would he want to bring if I did agree to help?"

"He said that they have given up on us – they are simply waiting for us to be overrun, and then clean up the mess afterwards." It was a slight stretch of the truth, but he didn't need to know that. Loghain grunted.

"Bloody fops, every one of them."

"I can't say I disagree." Ildri smirked. "Damn near every step of the way after he joined us was a bloody battle."

"What do you intend to do with him?"

"If you agree to my terms, then he will stay in Denerim. Any messages that he sends or receives will be discreetly looked over, and if what is seen in the letter isn't liked, then it will be waylaid. Permanently. While he is here, he will work on upgrading weapons, armor, and other equipment. Denerim is the largest city in the country, and history tells us that this is likely where the Archdemon will strike first. I will leave Alistair and Andreina Cousland behind as well, and they can argue over the country all they like. I intend to do my duty."

"And he has actually agreed to this?" Loghain raised a brow.

"I haven't told him that all his mail is going to be pre-read, but otherwise, he has agreed." Loghain glanced at the phylactery. "I can show you the others as well, if you need more proof." Ildri offered.

"You are truly in command of the Wardens, then? Not just in name?"

"Yes. Alistair and Nadia, the only other Fereldan Wardens, have handed the reins to me."

"The boy is older than you, is he not?" Loghain frowned.

"The both of them are. No one of the three of us were familiar with command, but Alistair in particular wanted to be well away from it. After Ostagar, we thought we were the only two left, and the burden was given to me."

"What happened in the tower that night?" Loghain asked. _When he wants answers, he doesn't go about it gently, that's for sure._

"There were darkspawn. They'd tunnelled up beneath the tower and had overrun it. There was an ogre on the top floor, to boot." She explained. "It was not treachery that lost the battle that night, it was the unexpected."

"You don't think that I betrayed Cailan? Your order?"

"I was made a Grey Warden the day before the battle. I had no ties to any of them. But to be honest… at first, I did. I thought that for whatever reason, you decided that the Wardens needed to die. But after thinking about everything that happened that night, I have come to the conclusion that retreating was the only option left to you. If you had charged, there might not have been _anyone_ left to fight the 'spawn now." Ildri scoffed. "And it didn't help that Duncan didn't tell you things that I believe you need to know. Things that you needed to know to make a decent plan of attack. Things that I am going to tell you, whether or not you agree to help me."

"Such as?" Loghain prompted.

"You have likely heard that Wardens can sense the darkspawn?" Ildri asked, and Loghain nodded. "They can also sense us. They are drawn to us like moths to a flame."

"Duncan claimed that this was a true Blight, that he could 'feel' it. Do you know what he meant by that?"

"As well as sensing the 'spawn, we see them in our dreams. The Archdemon calls to us. I've spoken with him a few times since the Blight began."

"You've… _spoken_ to him?" Loghain asked.

"It was mostly him going on and on about how we were all going to die, and how nothing we could do would ever stop him." Ildri confirmed. Loghain shook his head.

"Why does your order claim that only _you_ can stop a Blight? Is there any truth to it?"

"To become a Grey Warden, we drink both darkspawn and Archdemon blood." Ildri explained, and Loghain winced. "Yeah, it doesn't taste very good. Anyway, we – sapient peoples in general – have souls, as does the Archdemon, while the darkspawn do not. When someone who is untainted kills the Archdemon, its soul travels to the closest tainted body, which is typically a darkspawn, and the Blight continues. If it is a Warden, the souls cancel each other out. They cannot both survive in the same… host, for lack of a better term. The souls are destroyed. Both of them die. The Blight is ended." Loghain leaned back in his chair.

"Even knowing all of this… you are determined to carry out your duty?" Loghain asked.

"I know that there are no other Wardens willing to help us. I know that if I do nothing, my home and my family will be destroyed. I know that every single woman in Ferelden will be carried underground and raped, over and over, until they breed more darkspawn. I know that if we do not do this… that no one else will." Loghain frowned over at her.

"Is that what happened to the women who fought at Ostagar?" He finally asked.

"The ones that survived the initial battle, yes." Ildri replied quietly.

"I need a drink." He rose from his chair and walked over to a cabinet. He took out two glasses and poured amber liquid into them. He placed one in front of Ildri before sitting back down. She picked up the glass and swirled the liquid around. "I'm not going to bloody well poison you." He tossed back the contents of his own glass.

"I've… never been much for drinking." She said, taking a sip. The alcohol tasted good, and left a pleasant burning sensation in its wake.

"You can't be very old yet." Loghain grunted.

"Old enough to fight." Ildri replied.

"That's exactly what your mother said when I asked her age." Ildri looked back down into her glass.

"Did you know her well?"

"Well enough, I suppose." He shrugged. "She never spoke much of her home life. You mentioned that she died?"

"She was murdered. I don't know anything else about it. My father never speaks of it, not that I blame him." Ildri took another sip.

"When was this?" He asked.

"Two years ago." Ildri's gaze landed on a map of Denerim, tacked to the wall. "She went out to the market, and didn't come home. At first we thought nothing of it, because she was always stopping to help people, however she could. But once the sun had set, we knew something was wrong. Papa… my father went out with some of the other men to look for her. I stayed up waiting for him. I'll never forget the look on his face when he came home." Ildri shook her head.

"She was a good woman." Loghain commented.

"One of the best." Ildri looked up at him. "I may be a child by your rules, but by ours, I am an adult in nearly every way. I have led my companions this far, and have had no complaints. Except for Riordan, but he doesn't count. All of them – every single one of them – are older than I am, but they trust me to see them all through to the end of the Blight. Will you do the same?"

"You mentioned something earlier about terms I would need to agree to." Loghain pointed out.

"I did. I want your word that you will step down from the Regency and join the Wardens. I will need that in writing, so that I can rub it in Eamon's self-righteous face. I want you to withdraw the charges from the Grey Wardens, so that we can go about our business in peace. And I want Howe arrested."

"Why do you want me to join the Wardens?"

"I won't lie – it could kill you. But I think that it won't. Also, if you join us, you are essentially reborn in the eyes of the law. In return, I will destroy any evidence that links you to Howe's wrongdoings, and if someone mentions Jowan – the blood mage, in case you forgot his name – I'll just point towards the blood mage den. I'll have to tell Andreina to bring it up in the Landsmeet somehow… that needs to be something that's common knowledge if that idea's ever going to pan out. That's something else; you need to overturn Howe's charge towards the Couslands. I almost forgot about that."

"That will go hand in hand with an arrest." Loghain informed her. "So you simply want another Warden to throw at the Archdemon?"

"No. If I have my way, it will be Riordan who takes that final blow. For starters, it'll get him out of my hair. I need you alive, so that you can rebuild the order in Ferelden. I have no proof of this, but I have sufficient reason to believe that there was, in fact, some kind of plot between Orlais and the Wardens, with him at the heart of it. He will need to die."

"And here I thought that Wardens had no allegiance to any ruler." Loghain snorted.

"You can't ask a person to give up on everything they've ever felt. Each Warden will be different, however. I can only speak for myself." Ildri sipped on her drink.

"And what about Eamon?" Loghain pressed.

"That old bastard tried to get me killed." Ildri admitted, frowning into her glass. "When I went to get Anora, he tried to send a letter to Cauthrien, making it sound like I was going to kidnap her and kill anyone who got between us."

"I can't say that I'm surprised to hear that." Loghain's lip turned up in one corner, the tiny beginning of a smile. "He has never liked me, or my daughter."

"Or anyone he can't control." Ildri added. Ildri glanced down at her drink, shrugged, and tossed it back. As soon as she swallowed, she began to cough. "Andraste's fucking… knickers!" She choked, her eyes watering. Loghain chuckled and waited until Ildri had regained herself. Ildri cleared her throat before speaking. "Do we have an agreement?" She extended her hand towards him.

"We do." He shook it. Once she'd taken her hand back, Loghain reached for a parchment and a quill. "I will write up a copy of our agreement for you, then I will send out the others. I will have Howe arrested immediately."

"Andreina wants him alive. I promised her that none of my companions would kill him. I know that you're not one of them, but I'd like to be able to help her get some kind of closure after what happened." Loghain simply nodded.

"In the morning, I will have servants clean up the Warden's compound, so that you will not need to stay at Eamon's estate." He scrawled his signature at the bottom of the page, then stamped it with his seal.

"That would be wonderful. But don't get too comfortable there – we will be leaving soon. Within a few days, at most. I'm waiting on a set of armor from Wade's Emporium."

"You might never see that armor again." Loghain replied.

"He's making it. Dragon bone plate armor, for one of my companions."

"An entire set of dragon bone plate armor?" Loghain repeated, raising his brows. "Where in Thedas did you get enough bone for that?"

"From a High Dragon, of course." Ildri smirked. "If there's anything you want to send to Anora, I'll take it with me."

"I'm going to need to hear more about your adventures." Loghain shook his head. "Just show her that. She'll understand."

"Very well. Have a good evening, Loghain."

* * *

><p>Ildri could barely contain her excitement on her way back to Eamon's estate. She nearly flew down the streets, anticipating the look on Eamon's face when he discovered that he had lost. When she arrived, Ildri threw open the doors and performed a happy dance, right there in the entryway.<p>

"Kadan? What are you doing?" Ildri started and spun around to face the Qunari. She stumbled and nearly fell, but Sten caught her. Ildri's face was flushed from embarrassment as she looked up at her friend. "What were you doing?" Sten repeated.

"It worked!" She waved the parchment with Loghain's signature proudly. "I did it!"

"That does not explain why you were…" He waved a hand. "I do not even know what to call it."

"I was excited, and happy, and proud. I was… doing a victory dance." She explained. Sten raised a brow.

"It was a poor victory dance." He commented dryly.

"That doesn't matter. As soon as Wade finishes your armor, we can leave! Thank the bloody Maker!" She crowed. "I have to let the others know."

"Perhaps you should wait until the morning." Sten gave the window over Ildri's shoulder a pointed glance. The sun had long since gone down, and it was nearing midnight.

"You're probably right. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep, though." Ildri looked back up at Sten. "Did you sit up and wait for me?"

"Yes." She smiled brightly.

"Thank you." She put a hand on his arm for a moment. "You should get to bed. It's been quite a day."

"You as well." He replied. He nodded, then left the foyer.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, it's not a very long chapter, and it's very dialogue heavy. I hope that I wrote Loghain well enough – he's one character that I've been worried about for a while. <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

Surprisingly, Ildri actually was able to get some rest that night. When she woke in the morning, she wore a broad smile. She grabbed the parchment with Loghain's signature and rushed into the dining room, not caring that she was still in her rumpled clothes from sleeping.

"I did it!" She announced, holding the parchment over her head. Eamon glared daggers at her, while Alistair seemed rather unmoved by the news, but Anora was relieved. The queen let out a small sigh and smiled in return. The others were all happy for her. "Howe should be in chains by now – Loghain promised to have his men head over there immediately after our meeting. He is overturning the charges laid against all of us, as well. The Grey Wardens and the Couslands are no longer traitors to Ferelden."

"When do we leave?" Nadia asked.

"As soon as Sten's armor is finished." Tapping on the doorjamb drew everyone's attention. A young man in livery stood there, bearing a sealed letter.

"Begging your pardon, but I was asked to deliver this to the Warden-Commander." His eyes fell on Alistair.

"That would be me." Ildri informed him, walking forwards. He raised a brow at her, but said nothing. She took the letter and he bowed before leaving. Ildri opened the letter.

_Howe has been taken into custody, and the estate searched. The dungeon held a few political prisoners, including the son of Bann Sighard, and a Templar. One of the men escorting Jowan. We'll need to get ahead of that; his sister is Bann Alfstanna. They're being looked after by healers at the moment, so you will want to go talk to their families. I've sent word announcing the end of my Regency as well as the withdrawal of all charges against both the Grey Wardens and the Couslands. The Warden compound is ready, whenever you want to head over. We should also get this whole 'joining' business underway today, especially if you want to leave soon._

_LMT_

"Loghain's sent out the word – no one in this room is a 'traitor to Ferelden' any longer." Ildri announced. Eamon's glower deepened, and Ildri just smirked.

"I can show my face in public." Andreina breathed, smiling.

"The Warden compound is available if we want to make use of it. I, for one, will be." Eamon said nothing. "Andreina, can I talk to you quickly?" She nodded and followed Ildri out into the hall. "At the Landsmeet, I need you to mention the blood mage stuff. I'll be heading back there later today, and I'll write down all of the names that I find there. I'll see if I can't get Anora or Loghain or whomever to lend me someone official – the Revered Mother, or the Grand Cleric or something – to make sure it's all done properly."

"I can do that, but why do you want it bandied about that there were blood mages in the city?" Andreina asked.

"If the nobles are worried about what thoughts might have been planted in their own heads by blood mages, they probably won't be too concerned about what Loghain may have done under the same influence."

"That makes sense." Andreina agreed, nodding. "What will you do if you can't leave before the Landsmeet starts?"

"I'll do what I can to gather the last bit of support for you – but I honestly can't see you losing anyway, with the two of you going for it. Other than that, I might show up for moral support." Ildri shrugged. "I'll probably have to find something nicer to wear, though. They might not appreciate me showing up in armor."

"No, I think not." Andreina smiled. "I understand that you have a lot of work left ahead of you – with all the treaties and all – but if you can, I would appreciate you coming to the Landsmeet."

"I'll see what I can do. No promises, though." Ildri headed back to her room to get dressed, then she headed out of the estate. _After pissing Eamon off so thoroughly, the last thing I want to do is eat at his table._

* * *

><p>The rest of her companions followed Ildri shortly afterwards. She hadn't really expected it, but she'd hoped they might. They headed over to the Gnawed Noble, and Ildri passed along the information that Loghain had given her about their families to the nobles she saw there. Andreina's presence, as well as the fact that she wasn't holding a grudge against Loghain for working with Howe, went a long way towards smoothing any ruffled feathers. Ildri felt her work was done. Short of killing Anora, there wasn't much else that she could do to help Alistair and Andreina win the Landsmeet, and that was something she wouldn't do. At the very least, it would make traveling with Loghain awkward, and that was going to be weird enough. She grabbed a meat pie before they all headed over to the Warden compound to take a look around. The other two Fereldan Wardens had been there before, so Ildri let them lead the way. The compound itself wasn't very big – it wasn't designed to house all the Wardens that Ferelden had once maintained. There was a two-room suite for the ranking officer, two other rooms to bunk two people each, and a great room that could sleep up to fifteen people. There was a kitchen, and the great room had a large dining table. The compound had two rooms for dry storage – Ildri suspected that one was most likely a pantry, while the other could be put to use for holding medical supplies and other potions. There was a small stable adjacent to the compound, and enough clear ground to muster probably twenty people and do some drills and sparring. As Ildri stepped into what was her own room, she was blown away. She'd never before had that much space to just herself. The first room was a sitting room and office, there was a large desk sitting towards the back of the room and three chairs around it, as well as a couch along one wall. There was a map of Thedas on the wall behind the desk, and each city that housed a Warden compound was marked with a pair of silver griffons. The other room was a bedroom – within it was the largest bed she'd ever seen. It had a brand new feather mattress, and the bedding was simple and plain. <em>That's going to change soon enough.<em> Ildri put her hands on her hips and smiled contentedly before returning to the first room. Loghain was waiting for her.

"I've never been in here before." He stood behind the desk, looking at the map on the wall.

"Neither have I." Ildri admitted, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the doorjamb. "I saw that you didn't mention the Crows in your letter this morning. Are they going to be a problem?"

"I honestly can't tell." Loghain replied. "Howe hired them, and there's no way of making sure that he calls off the contract, even if we were to… persuade him."

"Well shit." She grumbled. "I don't know when Riordan's going to get here, but he went to get all the stuff we need for your Joining together. Once he gets back, we'll get that unpleasantness out of the way."

"Very well." Loghain approached the desk, looking down at the map of Ferelden lying on it. "Once we leave Denerim, what are your plans?" Ildri moved to stand across from him and placed her hands on the desk, leaning over the map. She frowned for a moment before turning the map sideways and tilting her head so she could read it easier.

"The Dalish next." She tapped a finger on the Brecilian Forest. "They're the closest treaty faction to the city, and will be the most difficult to locate. If they're even there, really. They might have picked up on the whole Blight thing ages ago, and moved on. I'm hoping that's not the case. But if or when we find the Dalish, once we're done with them we'll head for Lake Calenhad and the Circle Tower. I don't suspect we'll be there for very long. We won't all need to go – I'll bring you, Nadia, and probably Sten, leaving the others behind. Last thing we want is for them to steal away our mage, after all. I'll make the introductions after your Joining. Anyway, last but not least is Orzammar. Nadia might be looking forward to that, she's got family there. While we were in Redcliffe some guy Dryden swung by to see me – he's the descendant of Sophia Dryden, the last Warden-Commander of Ferelden before they all got kicked out. He wants us to swing by the old fortress up north, here." Ildri tapped the location. "He gave me a proper map, it's in my pack somewhere. He's looking for something to clear the old lady's name and their family one in the bargain. I think we should check it out, even if all we find is spider webs. Hopefully we'll find more than that."

"Unless we spend a month collecting each treaty, we should be well out of the Frostbacks before winter sets in." Loghain commented. "I don't think that looking into this fortress should be a priority. That can always be done after the Blight."

"And what happens if the Blight lasts another twenty years?" She asked. "We'll need more Wardens, somehow, and a place to put them. No one's been in the fortress for a couple hundred years, but the Crown will probably be willing to lend us some money." She tapped her fingers on the desktop. "Who knows what could be up there? I don't know how well the place was ransacked after the Wardens were given the boot. We could find just about anything up there."

"The most likely scenario is that we arrive and find nothing but dust and spider webs." Loghain countered. "There is no guarantee that you'll find anything of use there."

"No guarantee that _we_ will find anything." She corrected. "You're coming too." There was a sound from near the office door, and both Ildri and Loghain looked over. "Shianni?"

"Hey, Ildri." Shianni smirked. "Guess who took a job at the Warden compound?"

"I really hope no one hired you to cook anything." Ildri smiled back.

"Void, no! Uncle Cyrion's got that covered." Shianni informed her.

"Who else hired on?" Ildri asked, her smile widening.

"Soris is around here somewhere, too."

"What, did someone go around the Alienage looking for my relatives?" Ildri wondered.

"Pretty much. They wanted to give it a 'familiar feel', or something like that." Shianni explained, and Ildri looked over at Loghain, raising a brow. He shook his head.

"Probably Anora." He told her.

"I guess you weren't kidding when you said you wanted him on board." Shianni folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes at Loghain.

"Loghain, Shianni. Shianni, Loghain." Ildri gestured towards them as she said their name. "Shianni, I need him alive, so please don't poison him or anything."

"Is that an order from my boss, or a suggestion from my cousin?" Shianni teased.

"The latter." Ildri replied. "Please play nice with everyone. I think you'll like pretty much everyone. By the way, the elven man's spoken for. As much as Nadia claims it's just for sex, I don't think she's very willing to share him."

"Thanks for the warning." Shianni replied. "I just figured I'd swing by and say hello, let you know that we're all here. Have fun Grey Wardening." Shianni shot Ildri a final smile before walking away.

"I don't think that's even a word." Ildri confided to Loghain.

"Neither do I."

* * *

><p>That afternoon, the four Wardens and Loghain locked themselves in Ildri's office to conduct his Joining. Riordan had allowed Ildri to lead the ceremony.<p>

"The Grey Wardens were founded during the First Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation." Ildri paused for a moment, trying to remember what Duncan had said before her own Joining. "It was during that time that the first Grey Wardens drank darkspawn blood, and mastered the taint." Loghain remained silent. "This is the source of our power, and our victory. Only a few words are spoken before the Joining, but they always have been." Ildri cleared her throat before continuing. "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day, we shall join you." She offered Loghain the goblet that Riordan had recovered from Ostagar. "You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good." Loghain nodded and accepted the goblet.

"I understand." He murmured, then raised it to his lips. Once he'd finished, she took it back from his trembling fingers.

"From this moment, you are a Grey Warden." Loghain fell to his knees and clutched his head. He made no sound as he slumped over on the floor. Riordan knelt beside Loghain and checked his pulse before prizing the other man's jaws apart and slipped a leather-wrapped stick between his teeth.

"He will live." Riordan announced.

"I'll wait for him to wake up." Ildri told the others. "Thank you, Alistair, for coming."

"I don't know if I'll ever like him, but what we've learned has helped ease the sting of it all." Alistair replied. Nadia patted Ildri's arm before leaving the room, and the two men followed her. Ildri asked Shianni to bring a water skin and some food. She waited in the hall for her cousin to return.

"So… Loghain." Shianni began.

"I promise I'll talk to you later, Shianni, but I need to go back inside and wait for Loghain to wake up. He's just had his Joining." Ildri explained.

"I'll hold you to that." Shianni stated before walking away.

* * *

><p>Loghain looked far grumpier than he normally did when he woke up. He spat out the leather-wrapped stick and sat up. Ildri pre-empted any attempt at standing with a hand on his shoulder and gave him the skin of water. He quickly drained it, and Ildri took it back before sitting down in a chair. Loghain made to rise, and she stopped him once more.<p>

"I wouldn't recommend doing that right away. I didn't go through all this trouble just for you to break your stubborn neck." Ildri picked up a plate of food from her desk. "You're going to be hungry. Here."

"Another Grey Warden thing?" He asked dryly, taking the plate.

"I think that, the nightmares, and the whole increased stamina thing are all that I forgot to mention the other night." Ildri replied. "Sorry about that."

"Considering the fact that I knew more than I suspect any recruit ever has at their Joining, apologies aren't necessary." Loghain told her around bites of food.

"Fair enough. You knew the worst bits, anyway." Ildri shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "So… speaking of nightmares… did you see a dragon just now?"

"Yes. That was the Archdemon, I take it?" Loghain finished off his plate of food and Ildri finally let him stand.

"Big ugly purple dragon that doesn't look anything like a _real_ High Dragon? Yeah. That's Archie." Loghain raised a brow and Ildri smirked. "Makes it funny more than anything else, calling him Archie." He only shook his head before leaning over the map once more.

"If you truly want to head up to this 'Keep', I suggest we do it either right away, or before we return to Denerim after fulfilling your treaties."

"_Our_ treaties." Ildri reminded him. "But on the way back sounds like a good plan. It'd be rather foolish to head up there just to turn back around and make our way to the Brecilian Forest."

"Yes, fine, _our_ treaties." Loghain waved a hand at her. "I don't know how well your companions will take me giving you suggestions like this. You may not want to ask an opinion of me in front of them."

"The only ones who might mind at all are not going to be accompanying us." She told him. "I can't see any of them minding much, seeing as I ask for their opinions from time to time as well."

"I don't know for sure if I'll be any good at following orders." Loghain admitted. "It's been some time since I was under another's command."

"I don't give many orders. I trust that everyone knows how to use their skills to the best advantage on the field. For the most part, I just make decisions about whatever else is going on."

"Everyone has their own way of leading. If it works, then don't change it."

"I don't plan to." Ildri replied. "If there's nothing else that you need from me, there are a few things that I need to see to."

"I will leave you be, then." Loghain nodded his head, and Ildri returned the gesture before he left Ildri's office. She let out a sigh and stood, walking over to the desk and bracing her hands on its edge, frowning down at the map. She traced a finger along the road leading southwest to the Brecilian Forest, lingering on the forest itself.

"Are you sure that you can trust him?" Ildri looked over her shoulder to see Cyrion standing in the doorway.

"I believe so, yes. Now that he actually knows _why_ the Wardens are important, that there actually _is_ a Blight, it should be relatively smooth sailing from here on out. With him, anyway." Her father walked towards her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"What's on your mind?" He asked softly. "I can't promise that I'll be able to help you, but talking can't hurt, can it?"

"Most of my life has been spent right here, in Denerim. Then the… incident happened, and Duncan took me to Ostagar. Within a matter of weeks, my life was turned upside down not only once, but twice." Ildri began to twist Nelaros' wedding band on her finger. "By our standards, I'm not even an adult yet, and I'm expected to lead armies. Getting to this point… it wasn't easy, but it was the first step. It'll probably seem easy, compared to what's coming. That's part of the reason I wanted to recruit Loghain so badly. I _needed_ someone with his experience. I still do." Ildri sighed. "I just… I feel lost. I'm scared, Papa. There is so much _weight_ sitting on my shoulders right now. The lives of thousands of people. I'm scared that I'll break." Ildri's voice trembled, and she blinked rapidly to stem her tears.

"I can't tell you that I'm not worried for you. I can't say that I wasn't scared when you first left with Duncan, either. I was worried that I would never see you again, or that if I did, I wouldn't recognize you. But I _can_ say that I am so very proud of you right now. You have been given one impossible task after another, and you have succeeded at them all. You are strong, my girl, and I believe that you can do this." Ildri threw her arms around her father and held him tightly.

"Thank you, Papa." She whispered, tears silently trickling down her cheeks.

* * *

><p>In the three additional days it took Wade to complete Sten's armor, the Landsmeet began, and true to her word, Ildri attended. She didn't have anything that would be considered 'suitable' for rubbing elbows with the nobility, but Ildri had found a few Grey Warden uniforms, and a handful of elven seamstresses had quickly tailored them to fit herself, Nadia, Riordan, and Loghain. Alistair would be wearing a set of plate mail armor to the Landsmeet, and Andreina had been to see a seamstress herself, and had a few dresses purchased and altered to fit. Loghain had protested attending, but Ildri had insisted.<p>

"They need to know that we haven't just killed you off or anything. They need to know that the Grey Wardens, those who you've wronged the most, have forgiven you and are letting bygones be bygones." Loghain grumbled, but did as he was told. Sten, Zevran, and Morrigan attended as well, wearing armor, and Barkspawn wasn't letting Ildri out of his sight for hardly a moment anymore. When the eight of them arrived at the palace, Ser Cauthrien was waiting for them.

"Warden." She ground out, glaring at Ildri.

"Which one?" Ildri replied. "There's four of us here." Cauthrien's eyes flickered towards Loghain for a moment.

"I wish to join the Wardens." Cauthrien stated, and Ildri's brows rose.

"That's something I actually don't mind hearing. At the moment, however, we're unable to initiate new Wardens. Supply lines and all, you know how it is." Ildri told her. Riordan had informed her the night before that they were out of Archdemon blood. "Besides, if you joined the Wardens, there would be no one here to lead Ferelden's armies. No matter who gets the throne today, you will be needed here. Perhaps after the Blight is over, we can revisit this discussion, if you still feel the same way." Ildri would have loved to gain Cauthrien – everything she'd ever heard about the knight spoke well about her – but she knew that she couldn't take the woman, even if she did have the supplies. It was unlikely that any of Howe's men still remaining in Highever or Amaranthine would give up easily, after judgement was passed on the man. If their lord was killed for his crimes, which Ildri didn't doubt would happen, then it was likely that they would face the same fate themselves. Someone needed to lead the nation's armies, and that burden had fallen to Cauthrien's shoulders. Those same shoulders slumped as their owner nodded her head. "Loghain, if you'd like to speak with Cauthrien, then you're welcome to. Come into the hall whenever you're ready." Ildri led the rest of her companions into the Landsmeet hall. The event itself didn't seem to have started yet; the nobles were mingling and talking amongst themselves. Their group drew more than a few stares, but Ildri held her head high and strode into the room. Ildri recognized Bann Alfstanna when the woman approached her.

"Thank you again for telling me about my brother." The noblewoman told her. "He's not doing very well, but he should recover."

"That is good to hear." Ildri smiled at the other woman. She meant it, too. Alfstanna was one of the few nobles that she'd met with that she had actually _liked._ When Ildri had delivered the news of her brother's location, the Bann had extended her sympathies to Andreina, and also her soldiers, should she need them to recover Highever. Bann Sighard approached her as well, offering his thanks for the news of his son.

"He may never walk again, but he is alive; and I am grateful for that much."  
>"I am sorry that there is nothing more that we can do for him." Ildri stated. His son, Oswyn, was a young man, only a few years older than Ildri herself was, and she couldn't imagine not being able to walk ever again. The door behind Ildri opened to admit Loghain and Cauthrien just as the Landsmeet began. First, everything that Loghain had announced – dropping all charges against the Wardens and the Couslands, his stepping down from the Regency, and Howe's arrest – was all repeated, and then the issue of succession was brought up. There were a few grumbles about how the last Theirin was a Grey Warden, but Andreina's support and announcement of their betrothal quickly smothered any arguments. Alistair and Andreina won the throne by a landslide. Anora was proclaimed as the Teyrna of Gwaren, and was offered the position of Chancellor, should she want it. Anora quickly accepted the offer, and the Landsmeet moved onto recent events in Denerim. Andreina told the assembled nobility about the blood mages within the city. She swiftly assured them that all of the blood mages were dead, and that the Chantry would be going over the den itself to make sure that everyone would be safe and that any paraphernalia was disposed of properly. She then spoke of the slavery within the Alienage, as well as the suspected slavery in Highever and Amaranthine. Upon hearing that Howe was single-handedly responsible for the slavery, and was suspected to have been involved with the blood mages, the nobles were nearly howling for his blood to be spilt. Howe was dragged into the Landsmeet chamber in chains, and unceremoniously deposited before Alistair and Andreina, who stood before the thrones at the head of the room. They would not sit in them until after the coronation ceremony.<p>

"Rendon Howe," Andreina ground out, "you are charged with the murders of Teyrn Bryce Cousland, Teyrna Eleanor Cousland, Oriana Cousland, Oren Cousland, Lady Landra Loren, and Dairren Loren, as well as many staff, servants, and other residents of Castle Highever, including the Chantry sisters and priests. You are charged with aiding and taking part of slavery here in Denerim, and possibly in Amaranthine and Highever. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Your parents died on their knees, your brother's corpse rots in Ostagar, and his brat was burned on a scrap heap, along with his Antivan whore of a wife." Howe spat, taunting her.

"Why did you betray my family? My father was your friend! He _trusted_ you! _I_ trusted you, and your family! I grew up playing with your children! Did all of that mean _nothing_? Were you just waiting, biding your time until…" Andreina took a breath. "Why, Rendon?"

"He was a traitor to me, and a coward to his nation! Trips to Orlais, gifts from old enemies, all while _I_ sank in obscurity. Your family squandered glory that was rightfully _mine!_" He snarled at her, tugging at his chains.

"My family died because you were _jealous_ of my _father_?" Andreina nearly shouted. "You killed my family because you felt you should have been _handed_ everything on a _silver_ _platter_? You're lucky you kept your _head_ after what your father did!" Alistair reached over and touched her elbow, and Andreina took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she spoke calmly. "Your sentence is death. I strip you of your titles, and the Crown will take possession of Highever, Amaranthine, and Denerim for the time being. Take him away."

"Maker spit on you!" Howe shouted as he was dragged away. "I deserved more!"

"I would like to call for a short recess." Andreina announced. "We will turn to other matters afterwards." Andreina barely waited for the nobles' agreement before she swept out of the room. Ildri only waited a moment longer before following. She found Andreina in a back room, weeping. Ildri said nothing, only rubbed the other woman's back as she cried. She knew that there was nothing she could say to make it feel any better, and she'd personally disliked having to accept the sympathies of others when she had lost her mother. Ildri heard a noise behind her, and turned to see Alistair standing in the doorway. She shook her head silently, and Alistair nodded before backing away, leaving the two women alone once more. Once Andreina had finished, Ildri handed her a handkerchief.

"Feel any better?" She asked softly.

"Not really." The noblewoman admitted. "I don't know what I expected to hear from him… but it wasn't _that._"

"I can't promise that it'll ever stop hurting… but for me, it eventually just didn't hurt so much. At least you get to kill the bastard that put you through this." Ildri patted Andreina's shoulder as the other woman wiped the last of her tears away.

"There is that." Andreina agreed. "I just don't know if it will help at all."

"I hope it brings you some kind of closure." Ildri murmured.

"As do I." Andreina sighed. "How do I look?"

"You're not blotchy, like some women get after crying. Your eyes are a bit red, but it's likely that everyone thinks that you would be crying anyway."

"Wonderful." Andreina scoffed. "They're all going to think I'm some weak-willed, frilly little woman now."

"There's nothing wrong with showing emotion, Andreina. You're allowed to mourn." Ildri soothed. "If the bloody nobles have a problem with that, they can all go to the Void."

"Unless someone helps them down that path, it's not likely to happen anytime in the near future." Andreina replied.

"We can hope." Ildri shrugged a shoulder, and the other woman gave her a small smile in return.

"Thank you for coming. You needn't stay any longer if you don't wish to. The rest of the Landsmeet will be very boring, I should think."

"That would probably send the wrong message. Your nobles need to know that we are invested in Ferelden's future a little further than simply the succession." Andreina brightened a little, and her smile widened by a fraction. "I will send Alistair in on my way out. I thought that you might not want him to see you crying."

"Thank you, again, Ildri. We would not have come this far without you." Andreina took Ildri's hand and squeezed it gently.

"I think that you would have. Perhaps not as quickly, but it would have happened."

* * *

><p>When the Landsmeet resumed, the nobles wanted to launch into land disputes and the like, but Alistair cut them off.<p>

"The darkspawn are the largest concern at the moment. We need to deal with them, or else there will be _no_ land to bicker over." The nobles began to argue amongst themselves, apparently not liking this at all. "No matter what you might have been told before, this is a true Blight. There is an Archdemon leading the 'spawn, and it _will_ surface at some point. We need to ready our troops, and prepare for war." The arguing grew louder until the nobles were shouting amongst each other and at Alistair, until Ildri put two fingers in her mouth and whistled shrilly.

"There are a few ways that we can do this." She began, once the voices quieted. "I can go from holding to holding, using the Right of Conscription on every single able-bodied young man and woman that I find. I don't know how to train people, and we have very little coin, so these people would be going into battle untrained, unarmoured, and unarmed. Or, you can send your troops here to Denerim, where they will have arms, armor, and training. Or, you can cower in your houses and your estates, hoping that the 'spawn don't find you. Hoping that they won't kill you, or drag you underground with them. And while you're hiding under your beds like children, the Grey Wardens and our allies – allies we will be collecting shortly – will be killing darkspawn, and saving you all from the Blight. The choice is yours." Ildri suspected that she would be in trouble for that little speech later, but she couldn't find it within herself to care at the moment. She needed results. If Alistair and Andreina needed Ildri to be the hard-ass in this scenario, then she would be. The nobles would never see her as an equal – her ears saw to that – so it would be far easier on everyone if the nobles were pushed to dislike her and look down on her even more than they already did. Andreina shot Ildri an exasperated look as the nobles began arguing and shouting at Ildri, who only shrugged in reply.

"While the Warden-Commander needn't have put it so bluntly, the options she has laid out are the most likely to happen." Andreina said, once the nobility had quieted. "And there is nothing that we can do to prevent her from enacting her first choice. The Divine herself cannot break a Warden's Right of Conscription. I ask that you do your duty to our country, and help us to see to her welfare by sending troops to Denerim." Each noble agreed – some more readily than others – and the Landsmeet moved on to other matters – reparations and such for the civil war among them. There were a number of Banns demanding compensation from 'Teyrn' Loghain.

"Loghain Mac Tir is no longer a Teyrn." Ildri cut in. "When you join the Wardens, all titles are forfeited, as well as any lands or coin. If you can't fit it into a carry bag, it's no longer yours."

"What of my horses?" Loghain asked her quietly.

"We'll have to discuss that later. I wouldn't mind not having to _walk_ all over Ferelden." She replied. "I'll see if we can't talk your daughter or Alistair and Andreina into giving us some. If they happen to technically be 'yours', I don't see that anyone would mind." She turned back to the nobles and raised her voice. "I do extend my sympathies for any losses you may have suffered, but while Loghain was the Regent, he was, in fact, in the right. Youwere committing treason against the Crown, while a Blight rages in Ferelden. Any losses suffered are your own fault." Ildri glanced over at Andreina. _I am going to be in a lot of shit for that one._ Andreina was rubbing at her temples while the nobles were occupied with Ildri.

"I don't think that she's going to let that one slide." Loghain commented, confirming her thoughts.

"I don't care if the nobles like me or not. If I need to be the bitch so that we get results, then I'll be the bitchiest bitch who ever bitched." Ildri shrugged. "I don't need popularity. I need soldiers."

"Those were much my own thoughts, not long ago." He warned.

"They don't need to put up with me forever. Just a little longer."

"Are you saying that you intend to –" Loghain began, but Ildri shook her head.

"Not here. Not now. Later." Ildri looked back over at Andreina, who was smoothing rumpled feathers and shooting dark looks Ildri's way. "There will be plenty of time to discuss _that_ issue while we're traveling."

* * *

><p>After the Landsmeet was finished for the day, Ildri stuck around the palace. She knew that Andreina would have more than a few words for her, and waited. The rest of her companions, save Barkspawn, had left. Loghain had gone to see Anora about procuring mounts, while the others had returned to the Warden compound. It didn't take long before a servant found Ildri and escorted her to Andreina's chambers. The queen-to-be waited just long enough for the servant to leave before throwing herself down in a chair and letting out a breath.<p>

"What a day." Andreina rubbed her temples. "I hope that not every day will be like this one."

"I wouldn't know." Ildri sat down across from her. "I feel like I should apologize for some of the things that I said today, but you probably won't want to hear an empty apology."

"I understand why you did it, I think." Andreina told her. "If you seem unreasonable and unwilling to compromise, then the nobles will be more likely to come to us and deal with us."

"I didn't put it so prettily, but that's it in a nutshell." Ildri agreed. "I thought you would be a bit more upset with me than you are."

"The nobility of Ferelden are trying at the best of times. I only wish that they would be more…" Andreina waved a hand, and Ildri smiled.

"You wish they'd pull their heads out of their collective asses and see the light?" She offered, and the noblewoman chuckled.

"Essentially, yes." There was a knock at the door and Andreina leapt to her feet, but she relaxed when she saw it was Alistair. She sat back down as he closed the door behind him.

"Maker's breath, are they always that bad?" He asked, and Andreina smiled.

"I hope they won't be." She told him. "Do you know how much longer you'll be in the city?"

"A few more days only, I hope. We need to get on the road. Loghain's seeing if he can't get Anora to 'give' us his mounts, so that will hopefully cut down on travel time."

"Do you even know how to ride?" Andreina asked.

"No, and I'll bet that Sten and Nadia don't, either." Ildri leaned back in her seat. "It can't be that hard to learn, can it?"

"I hope for your sake that you're a quick learner and have a steady mount." Andreina told her. "Zevran likely knows how, so he and Nadia may be able to share. I know that Loghain is a good rider. It's difficult to be anything else, growing up on a farm. I can't speak to any experience that Sten may have. So little is known about the Qunari. I only hope that Loghain can find a mount large enough to carry him." She seemed to be thinking aloud.

"What are your plans?" Alistair asked, sitting down.

"I plan on going to the Brecilian Forest, first. It's closest, for starters, and the Dalish will likely be the most difficult to find. Then over to Lake Calenhad and the Circle Tower, and lastly Orzammar. We're going to stop by Soldier's Keep, in the north, on our way back afterwards. It was a Warden fortress, once upon a time, and who knows what we might find there." Ildri told him.

"It's going to be…odd, not traveling with everyone." Alistair shook his head. "I've gotten used to it."

"You've got the easy end of things." Ildri assured him. "We're dropping two warriors here, and only getting one in return, as well as Wardens."

"Instead, I get to deal with the nobility of Ferelden. Joy of joys." He deadpanned.

"You'll be warm, dry, full every night, and next to no one will want to kill you." Ildri countered.

"There is that." Alistair agreed, nodding.

"Told you you had it easier." Ildri leaned over and poked him in the ribs. "Never argue with a woman. Married life lesson number one. I'll even give you that one for free."

"We're not married yet, you know that." Alistair protested.

"Next best thing." Ildri shrugged. "Or worst, depending on who you're talking to."

"What do you think of marriage?" Andreina asked.

"It's good for some people. We aren't considered full adults until we're married, as you well know, but the whole 'Warden-Commander' thing might make up for that, in the eyes of my community. Or it might not. Some people in the Alienage are really anal about that sort of thing."

"And here I'd thought we might have an entire conversation without you using a dirty word." Alistair sighed.

"Not anytime soon." Ildri told him. "But it's getting late, and I should return to the compound." Ildri rose from her chair, and Barkspawn climbed to his own feet to follow her. Andreina rose to her own feet and gave Ildri a hug. Ildri didn't mind physical contact among her family, or unless she reached out first, but otherwise it tended to bother her. She stiffened at first, but then awkwardly returned the embrace.

"I'm glad to call you friend." Andreina told her, before letting her go.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry for the amount of time it took me to post this. I have about a dozen excuses, but that's all they are. I will try harder to not let this much time go between updates. <strong>

**If it makes you feel any better, one of those excuses is Dragon Age: Inquisition. **


	15. Chapter 15

**I am so sorry that this took so long… there's just a whole lot of real-life crap going on in my world right now, and it sucks. **

**Thank you to Jmg94, magekin, Bodacious Bovine and the Guest for the faves, follows, and reviews!**

* * *

><p>Anora was able to procure mounts for their party, as well as a few spares. There was even one large enough to comfortably carry Sten. Zevran was an accomplished rider, and worked with Loghain to teach Ildri, Nadia, and Sten to ride. Morrigan declined the lessons, claiming to be an accomplished rider. Loghain's horse was a Fereldan Forder, as dark and tall as his rider. Zevran and Nadia were to share an Antivan horse, a Taslin Strider. For when she chose to ride, Morrigan selected an Amaranthine Charger. Ildri chose a Dalish All-Bred, simply because it was a fair bit shorter than the others and she might have an easier time mounting. For Sten, Anora had found an Anderfel Courser, one of the largest breeds in Thedas.<p>

"Do the Qunari have cavalry?" Ildri asked Sten.

"There is little need for horses beyond carrying things that we cannot. That does not happen often." Sten intoned, looking down on Ildri from the back of his mount.

"I suppose Tevinter is glad for that. You're going to be damn near invincible, bearing down on an enemy from up there." Ildri commented.

"I will not fight from here. Riding will be… odd enough as it is."

"I don't suppose they'll be too calm around darkspawn anyway." Ildri shrugged. "At least this will help us get around faster."

"That is true. The sooner the Blight is ended, the sooner I can return home." Sten dismounted and Ildri took a step back.

"Do you miss it? Seheron, I mean?" Ildri queried.

"I miss the sound of waves crashing on the beach. I miss the sound of my brothers training in the yard. I miss the smell of tea and incense." Sten looked away from Ildri. "Ferelden smells of wet dogs."

"Don't forget rotting garbage." She teased.

"I was trying to forget that part." Sten murmured. Ildri smirked up at him before walking away. Morrigan beckoned her over, and the witch handed her a large purse of coin.

"I sold a great amount of the High Dragon's blood." She said. "I could not get the price that I wished for all of it, however."

"We won't be short coin for a while, though." Ildri commented, hefting the purse. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>It took far less time to find the Dalish than Ildri had thought it would. Or, rather, for the Dalish to find them. On their second day of wandering the Brecilian, after camp was set, Zevran approached Ildri.<p>

"The Dalish are watching us." He began, and Ildri moved to look over her shoulder, but Zevran stopped her. "Simply watching. They do not appear to be a danger as of yet."

"Have they been following us?" She asked, rolling her shoulders.

"I don't know if they have been following us all day, but they probably have been." The assassin shrugged.

"Do you know anything about the Dalish? I've only heard tall tales." Ildri admitted.

"I haven't met any Dalish elves, if that's what you're asking. I'm told that my mother was Dalish, but I don't remember her. She died when I was a babe."

"How many?" She asked, fighting the urge to look around.

"At least three, but no more than six. I do not know if they realize they have been seen." Ildri nodded and patted Zevran's shoulder.

"I'm going to try talking to them. Follow me quietly, and try to stay unseen."

"As you like." Zevran nodded and slipped away. Ildri finished putting up her tent and then walked away from the camp out into the woods. Once she felt she'd gone far enough, she stopped and looked around.

"Hunters of the Dalish, we mean you no harm. Come out, so that we can talk." A lone elf stepped out from behind a tree, his arrow trained on her.

"Why do the shemlen send you out to us? Do they think that we would be more inclined to speak with one of 'our kind'?" He sneered.

"I lead this party. My name is Ildri, and I am the Warden-Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. There is a Blight, and I need to speak with your leader."

"You expect me to believe that any shem would take orders from an elf?" he scoffed.

"It's not you I need to convince. My companions and I will remain here for the night, and in the morning we will press on. We need your people to help stop the Blight. Please pass this message on to your hahren, or whatever title your leader holds." Ildri turned to walk back to the camp.

"The leader of a Dalish clan is a Keeper, flat-ear." He told her. "You would do well to remember that."

"I hope to see you or one of the other hunters in the morning. Otherwise we will simply wander the Forest until we find you." Ildri called over her shoulder, walking back to camp. She half-expected an arrow in the back, and forced herself not to tense up. When she walked back into the firelight she let out a breath.

"Has anyone told you that there is such a thing as being too brave?" Zevran commented from behind Ildri.

"More than once, and more than one person." She replied. "I'm not here to make friends with them, Zevran. I'm here to pull everyone's heads out of their asses, apparently." Zevran laughed and shook his head as he walked away.

* * *

><p>As they packed up camp in the morning, they were approached by a trio of Dalish hunters. Ildri ignored them until everyone was all packed up and ready to go. Maybe not the wisest move, but she wasn't about to let them think she was at their beck and call. Once Ildri was sure that everyone was ready, she approached the hunters.<p>

"Are any of you the Keeper?" She asked, looking between the three of them.

"No. I have come to see if you are even worth the Keeper's time." The woman spoke up.

"I'm worth it. You must have noticed signs of a Blight by now. I lead the few Wardens left in Ferelden, as I told your companion last night. I have a treaty, signed by the Dalish, which obligates you to help me."

"You speak of obligations and debts to the shemlen, who have treated you flat-ears no better than they have treated us." One of the other hunters piped up. "Why should we do anything for you, someone little better than their masters?" He spat at her feet.

"Firstly, the darkspawn won't discriminate between elves, humans, and dwarves. They will kill us all, regardless of age, race or gender. Secondly, I have _no_ master. I am controlled by _no one._ You know _nothing_ of the way that I have lived, how my family lives, or of what we do just to survive. Don't you _dare_ judge me." Ildri clutched the hilt of her sword, her knuckles white.

"Two shemlen travel with you. They follow your orders?" The woman asked, changing the subject.

"Morrigan travels with us of her own free will. She can leave at any time she wants. Loghain is a Grey Warden, and is my subordinate. Everyone here follows my lead."

"They follow your commands?" She pressed.

"Yes, they do." Ildri replied, raising her chin. "This is a waste of both of our time. I need to speak with your Keeper, the sooner the better."

"I will take you to the Keeper, then." The woman said. "Bear in mind that should any of you raise a hand against us, you will die."

"Yes, yes. Can we get on with this, now?" Ildri ground out. The woman's eyes narrowed, but the three hunters turned and led the group deeper into the Forest.

* * *

><p>The Keeper, Zathrian, went into some detail on the 'curse' afflicting his people, but Ildri was sure that there was more that he wasn't telling. Regardless, it was obvious that there would be no aid from the Dalish until the task was complete. The clan's storyteller, Sarel, had a few things to say about the Forest – once he'd finished being an ass, of course. He shared a few legends, telling of ancient battles, and Witherfang, the beast Zathrian wished them to slay.<p>

"One last warning," Sarel said, as Ildri and her companions rose to leave, "the Forest is like a thing alive. It changes as it wills, closing paths behind you, and opening new ones. Too many have been lost within, unable to find their way out. Were I you I would endeavour not to make the Forest my enemy."

"Thank you for the warning, hahren." Ildri replied politely, not willing to voice her true thoughts on the matter while in the Dalish camp. They left their mounts at the Dalish camp, not willing to risk them too much in the Forest. After checking once more on their mounts, the six of them left the camp behind them.

"I do not believe everything the storyteller had to say," Morrigan commented, "but he was not wrong on at least one count. The Veil is weak here."

"I'd much rather take your word for it than theirs." Ildri replied. "Especially considering the bullshit story Zathrian fed us."

"Why do you say that?" Nadia asked, on Ildri's other side.

"The elves can't be the only ones who come through this place. Sarel said that the werewolves have had no new blood until now, which tells me that these werewolves are targeting the elves alone, for some reason. Morrigan, what did you think about his explanation for destroying the 'curse'?"

"If the beast truly is a spirit, then it should not have a heart to bring to the Keeper. If it is a demon or a spirit that possessed a creature, then it would have a heart. I do not know how he intends to use to heart to 'perhaps' dispel the curse. It seems an odd manner of curing the affliction. If it is a spirit, simply slaying it should dispel it. I am unsure what to make of all this." Morrigan admitted, frowning.

"What about the Forest itself? Do you believe what the storyteller said?" Ildri pressed.

"With the Veil as weak as it is, 'tis likely that some manner of spirit or demon may have passed through, possessing creatures or even trees as they wish."

"Wait, _trees_?" Nadia repeated.

"You may not have heard of sylvans before, but our esteemed general may have." Morrigan sneered towards Loghain.

"I've heard the tales of walking trees attacking travellers. I'd thought they were simply talk." Loghain commented.

"You thought wrong." Morrigan replied, sounding smug. There might have been more conversation, had Barkspawn not lowered his head and growled. Ildri waved a hand for silence and drew her blades, and the others followed suit. They continued forwards, picking their way carefully through the undergrowth. There was a bit of a path through the Forest, but it was slightly overgrown with small plants and tree roots. Ildri made more noise than she would have liked, treading on small branches and leaves. She wasn't the only one; Loghain and Sten both made as much noise as her, while Morrigan, Zevran and even Nadia walked far more quietly than she did. It wasn't long before they encountered werewolves. Loghain and Sten rushed forwards while Morrigan began weaving spells and the three rogues circled the bestial creatures. Barkspawn stayed close to Morrigan to defend her if any of them got close to her. With the seven of them versus the five werewolves, the fight didn't last very long.

"Well, they were right about one thing." Ildri commented, kicking one of the corpses. "Someone keep a tally." They pressed on, and soon ran into a trio of werewolves. They didn't attack on seeing them, but Ildri kept her hands on her blades.

"The watch-wolves have spoken truly, my brothers and sisters." The one growled, looking down at Ildri. "Of course, they have sent an elf to carry out their vengeance."

"I'm not here for vengeance." Ildri demurred, keeping her hands well away from her blades. "I'm trying to figure out what happened. My name is Ildri Tabris, Warden-Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden."

"You speak to Swiftrunner." He looked over their party. "Go back. Tell the Dalish that you have failed. Tell them we will gladly watch them suffer, as we have suffered. We will watch them pay!"

"What have they done?" Ildri asked. "What is it you want them to pay for?"

"Everything!" Swiftrunner roared. "You know nothing! Nothing of us, and nothing of those you serve!"

"I serve no one!" Ildri shot back. "I only want information!"

"Run while you can. Run back to the Dalish, and tell them they are doomed." Swiftrunner crouched parallel to the ground, ready to leap onto her at a moment's notice.

"I can't." She replied. "I can't leave until I have allies against the Blight. You must have noticed the darkspawn yourselves." The werewolf paused and stood upright.

"Come, brothers and sisters. The Forest has eyes of its own and will deal with intruders as it always has." Swiftrunner and the other two werewolves turned around and loped away. Ildri let out a shaky breath and inhaled deeply before turning to look at her companions.

"So. That went well." Ildri folded her hands behind her back.

"Either the Dalish hid that the werewolves are no longer the beasts they thought… or they did not know. Neither bodes well." Morrigan commented.

"If they hid it, then they didn't exactly expect us to make conversation with them." Loghain added. "They expected us to kill them blindly."

"It's just as likely that they didn't know themselves." Zevran pointed out. "After all, they would not be on speaking terms with the werewolves either." Ildri paced back and forth, tapping a finger on her lips.

"These are all valid theories." She murmured. "Swiftrunner seemed pretty pissed with Zathrian. That kind of anger doesn't just crop up overnight. We're missing information." She raised her voice so the others could hear her last remark.

"I agree." Sten voiced. "The elves' leader kept vital information from us; sent us in blind." Ildri nodded, still pacing.

"One of the groups greatly offended the other in some manner." Morrigan opined.

"I'm beginning to think that the elves started this somehow." Ildri stated. "I don't think that we can afford to trust anything that they told us." Ildri stopped pacing, looking at the others. "But I also don't think that we can afford to go back and confront them on it, either."

"Why would they lie to us?" Nadia asked. "We came to help them, it doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't much matter." Ildri stated. "We'll probably find out if we continue. I can't really think of a reason to, however, other than that we need allies."

"You would turn against your own so easily?" Loghain raised a brow.

"They obviously don't think of me as _their_ own, so why should I think that of them?" Ildri asked in turn. "If they can't trust us enough to tell the truth, then I don't really see why I should trust them." Sten nodded at the back, but remained silent. Ildri shook her head. "We still need to do this. If nothing else, I want answers. That Swiftrunner's made me curious." The others made no complaint, and so they carried on. There were a few 'spawn in the Forest which they quickly cut down, and an assortment of tainted creatures. They encountered a talking tree, of all things, which did not immediately attack them. That put it up a few points in Ildri's mind.

"A sylvan." Morrigan hissed in warning. "A tree possessed by some creature from the Fade." It didn't ask much of them, only that they retrieve its acorn from further within the Forest. Ildri only promised to see what she could do about it, no more. Morrigan nodded her approval and they carried on. They set up camp for the night near a small creek once they'd destroyed the sylvans nearby. Once Morrigan said that it wouldn't harm them to do so, they used the sylvans' remains to build their fire.

"What are your plans?" Ildri looked over at Loghain. "If it turns out that the Dalish sent us in here knowingly? Into a trap?" Ildri shrugged and laid out on her bedroll, looking at the stars.

"I doubt that the whole clan would have been in on it. That boy Cammen wouldn't be able to lie to save his life." Morrigan hadn't been enthused to help bring the couple together, but had held her peace. "If Zathrian sent us in here, knowing everything all along, I'm gonna be pissed, though."

"You won't decide to kill the lot of them for keeping things from you?" He pressed.

"Is this about what happened at Haven?" Ildri demanded. "Yes, I asked the others to go and deal with the villagers if they wouldn't see sense. I would have done it myself if I hadn't had damn near half a fucking dragon attached to my elbow." Ildri sat up and shrugged out of her jacket, pulling up the sleeve of her underarmor to show him the scars. "Sten and Riordan pulled the thing off. I've still got its teeth around here, somewhere." She frowned as she looked over at her pack. "I don't know what I'll do with them just yet."

"You haven't exactly alleviated my concerns." Loghain commented.

"I've grown up a bit since then. I won't say that I'll never order something like that again, because I might have to. But I won't if I don't have to." Ildri put her armor back on. "Haven and the Gauntlet changed me, maybe all of us that went through it."

"You haven't spoken much about that." Loghain pressed. Ildri shot a glare his way.

"No offense, but while I trust you not to accidentally chop off my head in a fight, I can't say that I trust you on personal matters just yet."

"I'd be surprised if you did." He replied.

"Then why even ask?" She asked.

"I don't know you well, and I'm trying to understand how you've done what you have." He answered. "You have an ex-Crow, a Sten of the Beresaad, an apostate mage and a Carta dwarf who follow your orders almost implicitly." Barkspawn interrupted with a _whuff_. "And a mabari of your own, of course. Not to mention your former companions that we left in Denerim. If I'm any judge on age, you're not even twenty and you plan to save the world. Not everyone could have done what you have."

"I know that much." She replied. "Did you know that Guerrin wanted to wait until _after_ we'd collected all of the treaties before calling the Landsmeet?" Ildri scoffed. "He'd rather have people slaughtering each other than fighting the darkspawn."

"I didn't take them very seriously myself, even after what happened at Ostagar." Loghain admitted.

"Yeah, but probably half of that was those blood mages crawling around in your brain." Ildri countered.

"While that is true, it might take actually facing the darkspawn in great numbers or becoming a Warden to take the creatures seriously." Loghain mused. "Eamon has never fought for Ferelden. He was sent to the Free Marches during the Occupation."

"No wonder he was so… whatever about it." Ildri commented. "He's never had to fight for his survival. He's never watched anyone he cared about die in his arms." Ildri stopped herself from continuing, biting her lip.

"And that is what makes all the difference in a leader." Loghain stated. "No man – or woman – who's never seen death should be allowed to send others to theirs."

"Like Cailan?"

"Yes." Loghain sighed. "Like Cailan. There's no denying that he was a good lad, but he was a horrible tactician."

"If he'd let you have your way, what would you have done instead?" Ildri asked.

"Knowing what I knew then? Not much differently, save for keeping him and your lot back. Sending someone else to the Tower of Ishal, perhaps. If that Chantry woman hadn't intervened, we might have been able to have a magical signal and no need for anyone to climb the tower. But knowing what I do _now_? I'd have waited for all the soldiers we could get. I'd have pushed a blade into the hands of every able-bodied man and woman in the country. Told them all as much as I could about what the darkspawn do, and what they are." Loghain shook his head. "It's not much use talking about what might have been, however."

"True enough." Ildri agreed. Loghain tossed a log onto the fire, and the pair of them watched as sparks flew, like a pair of mismatched bookends. Old and young, human and elf, dark and fair. They remained silent until they woke Sten and Nadia for the next watch.

* * *

><p>In the morning they had a quick breakfast before breaking camp and continuing into the Forest. They encountered a strange sort of fog, and Ildri looked over at Morrigan.<p>

"If you would?" She asked, gesturing towards it. The witch strode forward, probing at it with magic.

"It will not harm us, but neither will it let us pass." Morrigan announced. "Perhaps this is one of the ways that the Forest 'deals with intruders'."

"It won't let us pass?" Ildri echoed.

"If we enter the fog we will become lost, and it will simply return us to where we entered." She explained. "We must find a different path, or how to dispel it."

"That sylvan we met yesterday." Nadia piped up. "Maybe if we found its acorn it could help us."

"No offense, but there must be millions of acorns in these woods." Loghain pointed out. "We might never find the one it wants."

"We probably won't find another way through." Ildri commented. "If this is what Swiftrunner was talking about, then it won't just be here. It'll be everywhere." Sten simply glared at the fog in distaste.

"Let us at least look around." Zevran said. "We may find something of use." They turned their backs to the fog and set to exploring. There were a few bears and a handful of sylvans, all quickly dispatched, before they found an old human man. Ildri was talking to him, asking him a few questions, and he suddenly spun toward Nadia.

"Thief!" He shouted. "_They_ sent you, didn't they?" Ildri was grateful that Alistair had passed on some of his Templar knowledge to Sten and herself when the man turned out to be a mage. Idlri Smote him before he could cast any dangerous spells and quickly lopped off his head. She then turned to face Nadia.

"What did you do?" She demanded.

"Nothing! Not really…" She began, but Ildri had none of it. "I was checking out this stump when I saw that there was a hole in it. I reached inside, and found this, and then he started screaming." Nadia opened her hand to reveal an acorn. It was three times the size of a normal acorn, and had an odd sheen to it, as though it was reflecting the light.

"Have any of you ever seen an acorn like that?" Ildri asked, and none of the others spoke.

"I am curious. Might this not be the acorn that the speaking sylvan sought?" Morrigan asked.

"It just might be." Ildri agreed. "I'm not mad at you, Nadia. Well, not really. Just a little warning next time might be nice."

"How am I supposed to predict when someone's going to attack you?" She asked.

"Oh, fine. Let's look around some more. If we don't find anything else interesting, we'll go see if this is the acorn the sylvan was looking for." They found little else of interest. There was a werewolf, who claimed to have been part of the Dalish clan but recently turned. She didn't have much to say, other than pleading that they kill her and give her husband her scarf. Ildri took the scarf and granted her peace. Ildri held the scarf in her hand for a moment. _Let's hope that I don't end up having to kill all the Dalish._ She slipped the scarf into her pack and they returned to the sylvan, who was overjoyed to have the acorn back. He gifted them a branch that would let them 'pass through to all parts of the Forest', apparently. Ildri hoped that this would work on the fog. They trekked back to where they'd first encountered the fog. Ildri handed the branch to Morrigan, who approached the fog. It didn't appear to be working at first, but slowly, the fog slipped away. A smirk on her lips, the witch rejoined the rest of them.

"The Forest has not been vigilant enough." Ildri recognized Swiftrunner as he appeared from within the trees. "Still you come."

"I told you that I couldn't leave until I had allies." Ildri replied, and he nodded.

"You are stronger than we thought. The Dalish chose well. But you do not belong here. You must leave!"

"The Dalish sent us here, yes. But I know – _we_ know – that they haven't been honest with us. I don't want to kill any of you unless I have to. I need information." Ildri argued. "You don't want to see your siblings hurt any more than we want to get hurt." Swiftrunner stepped closer to Ildri. She heard someone behind her begin to draw a weapon and raised a hand.

"I cannot make this decision. It is not mine to make." Swiftrunner shook his head.

"Then whose is it?" Ildri asked. The werewolf leapt, closing his jaws around Ildri's left shoulder. Someone screamed as Swiftrunner bent to all fours and loped away, carrying Ildri with him.

* * *

><p>"Withdraw! Withdraw! Bring everyone to the Lady's chamber!" A rough voice shouted, jarring Ildri into awareness. Her mind was clouded, and she felt far too warm.<p>

"What have you done!" Another voice cried.

"The Forest could not keep them out. They would have come here sooner or later. If we withdraw to the Lady's chamber, we will not all be slain." Ildri recognized Swiftrunner's voice.

"And what if she does not agree with us?" The second demanded.

"Then we would have been killed anyway. For a small creature, she is a formidable warrior."

"Hush." A new voice spoke. It sounded like water gliding over rocks, and ethereal in its way. "Swiftrunner has done what he thought was best. If she indeed doubted the Dalish, then perhaps this was for the best." Ildri finally opened her eyes. She was in a large stone room, with a handful of trees growing within it. Almost a hundred werewolves stood within its walls, facing the center of the room. Ildri couldn't see what they were looking at, or who had been speaking. It had certainly not been a werewolf. "Gatekeeper. You and a few others will stand at the doors for when our guest's friends arrive. I will see if she has wakened."

"As you wish, Lady." A handful of werewolves left the room. The werewolves parted, making way for someone walking towards Ildri. The smell of the forest after rain wafted towards Ildri as the speaker drew closer. It was a woman, but like no other she had ever seen. Her skin was a pale shade of gree, while her hair and eyes were solid black. She wore nothing but vines that wrapped around her ankles and rose to her waist, and more formed her fingers and grew past her elbows. She was the most beautiful creature Ildri had ever laid her eyes upon.

"I bid you welcome, mortal." The woman spoke. Her voice echoed in the small space. "I apologize for the manner in which you were brought here. Swiftrunner does not always think before he acts."

"That's… true of all of us." Ildri managed to say. The woman hissed and knelt before Ildri, reaching out to bare the elven woman's left shoulder.

"Swiftrunner, you have injured her. Tell me, are you feeling well?"

"I can't say that I am, no." Ildri admitted. "Is it just me, or is it warm in here?" The woman sighed and closed her eyes.

"We must speak quickly then, and hope your friends arrive soon. I fear that you have caught the curse from Swiftrunner." Ildri swallowed and felt her eyes begin to water.

"I'm… turning into a werewolf?" She asked softly.

"Yes. I am sorry." The woman opened her eyes and regarded Ildri. "I am the Lady of the Forest. I apologize on Swiftrunner's behalf for your injuries."

"He didn't mean to… did he?" Ildri took a deep breath, and then another, trying to slow her racing heart.

"I do not believe so. Had he intended it, the wounds would be far more severe."

"Good enough, I suppose." Ildri sat up straighter against the wall, wincing. "There are… there are a lot of gaps in Zathrian's story. Combined with what Swiftrunner told us, it makes… even less sense." The Lady nodded.

"There are things that he would not tell. Things that you should decide for yourself."

"I'm… listening." Ildri scratched at her wound.

"It was Zathrian who created the curse that these creatures suffer. The same curse that his people suffer. The same one that you may suffer. Centuries ago, when the Dalish first came to this land, a tribe of humans lived close to this Forest. They sought to drive the Dalish away."

"I… take it that… didn't end well." Ildri was beginning to find it difficult to think.

"No. it did not. Zathrian was a young man, then. He had a son and daughter he loved greatly, and while out hunting the human tribe captured them both. The boy was tortured and slain, while the girl was raped and left for dead." Ildri blanched, seeing Shianni at the Arl of Denerim's estate in her mind. "She was recovered by the clan, but took her own life when she discovered that she was with child."

"Zathrian… cursed them. Revenge." Ildri breathed. "You… are all… innocent." The Lady nodded.

"He came to these ruins and summoned a spirit, which he then bound to the body of a wolf. Thus, he created Witherfang."

"…You. That's… you." Ildri managed.

"Witherfang hunted down the tribe and slew a great many of them. Others were cursed by its blood, becoming the creatures you see here. They were driven into the Forest. When the last of the tribe left, these creatures were all that remained. Then, they were little more than animals. With time, I was able to control Witherfang, and brought the werewolves under my wing. I soothed their rage, and humanity emerged."

"Why… attack Dalish?" Ildri had difficulty keeping her eyes open.

"We seek to end the curse." The Lady spoke quickly now. "The crimes committed against Zathrian's children were grave, but they were committed centuries ago by those long dead. Word was sent to him every time the aravels passed this way, seeking his aid, and he has ignored our pleas. We will no longer be denied."

"Cures his… people… he cures… all." Ildri surmised.

"Yes. I would have asked that you go to him, but you cannot, in your condition. We must wait for your friends to arrive."

"What if… I… change…" Ildri's head lolled forward, and she snapped it back up.

"It is almost upon you." She sighed. "I will work as swiftly as I can once you have changed. Your friends will not believe it is you once you are changed. I am sorry it had to be this way. What is your name, mortal?"

"Ildri… Tabris. Grey… Warden…" Ildri's eyes slid closed.

* * *

><p>She woke screaming. She felt as though someone were skinning and deboning her alive at the same time. She fell forward and curled herself into a ball. Nothing she had ever experienced hurt as much as this. She begged and pleaded for someone, something, to end her pain to no avail. She felt the change first in her hands and feet, as her bones snapped into new positions and skin stretched in ways it was never meant to. It continued through her limbs and body, and her screams became howls as her skull was forced into a new shape. When the change was complete, she laid on her side, whimpering in pain. If she could cry, she would have.<p>

"Here." Someone pushed a bowl of water toward her, and she tried to pick it up to drink it. "Not like that." The voice chided. The voice was familiar, but she couldn't remember why. She put the bowl down and lapped at the water. "Yes, that's better." A long-fingered hand ran over her head. Once the water was gone and her sore throat soothed, she looked up. A woman… no, a Lady, smiled down at her. "What do you remember?" She frowned.

"I… what am I supposed to remember?" Her voice didn't sound right, but she shrugged it off from the screaming – no, she couldn't scream. From the howling. Yes, she'd been hurting, and she had howled. She could smell a male approaching her Lady and raised her head. She remembered this one, he was familiar. He was a brother. "Swiftrunner." She said, and he nodded.

"When we first spoke you called yourself Ildri Tabris. A commander." He stated, and she looked at her Lady.

"Do I command your armies?" She asked.

"No. You called yourself a Grey Warden. You fight the darkspawn." She looked down at her paws, shaking her head.

"No, Lady, I don't remember any of that. I'm sorry." The Lady sighed. "Have I disappointed you?"

"No, child. No." The Lady smiled at her, and she smiled back. The Lady stood and looked at Swiftrunner. "There is some good in this. She is not as wild as you once were." Ildri rose to her feet and looked down at herself, admiring her pale golden fur as the Lady and her brother spoke. There was an odd feeling in the back of her head, and it drew closer and closer as the other two spoke. She rose her head to look towards it, but saw nothing. It felt familiar and comforting, but odd all at once. "What is it, Ildri?"

"I don't know, Lady." She admitted. "There is something in my mind… I can feel it coming."

"Then we may not have much time." She looked over at the Lady. "Come here." There was no hesitation as she stepped towards her Lady, towering over her. "I am thankful for my abilities, for once. I did not know how much of your self you would retain upon transformation, so I took it for safe keeping. I will now grant it back to you." The Lady placed one hand on either side of her head. "I apologize." The vines that formed the Lady's fingers sunk into and through the werewolf's skull and almost into her brain. Scenes flashed before her eyes as the Lady gave the werewolf her memories back. Her childhood in the Alienage, growing up with her cousins, mother and father, her disastrous wedding day, Nelaros' death, Ostagar, Redcliffe, Denerim, and the Brecilian Forest itself, all absorbed into her mind at once. The Lady withdrew her fingers and Ildri Tabris fell to all fours, panting like she'd just run through all of Denerim.

"What… what happened to me?" Ildri sobbed – or would have, if she were capable.

"You remember." The Lady of the Forest intoned. "That is good. I have not had much practice with my abilities, and feared I might damage you irreparably. I am glad to see that is not the case." Ildri would have made a nasty remark, but remembered at the last minute that she was extremely outnumbered in a room full of werewolves who would not appreaciate her disrespecting their Lady. "We have not seen your friends yet, but I expect that they will be arriving shortly."

"Yes. I know what I felt. I can feel Nadia and Loghain. They're on their way." Ildri confirmed. She hadn't been able to detect their presence before, and wondered if she would still be able to once she was cured. No matter what it took, she was going to make sure that Zathrian cured her. Cured them all. She only hoped that the change back wouldn't be as painful.

"You can feel them?" The Lady repeated. "Not smell them?"

"It's a Grey Warden thing." Ildri replied. The Lady nodded.

"There is more water if you would like some." The Lady gestured, and Ildri followed her to a small pool. Ildri had to drop to all fours and lap it up, but she decided not to care. As long as none of the others saw her doing it, she didn't care. The presence grew closer, then stopped. Her now-enhanced hearing could pick up some speaking, but not what was being said. She thought she heard Sten's voice, but couldn't tell for sure. A werewolf she belatedly recognized at the Gatekeeper opened and came through a door, and the presence followed it. Sten, Morrigan, Loghain, Nadia, Zevran, and Barkspawn, alive and well. Ildri smiled a doggy smile at seeing them unharmed. They were led to the Lady, who beckoned Ildri closer.

"Where is the Warden?" Sten demanded. He smelled absolutely furious. Ildri approached carefully, not wanting to antagonize him into fighting.

"I bid you welcome, mortals." The Lady greeted them. "I am the Lady of the Forest."

"I will not speak with you until I have seen the Warden." Sten ground out.

"Sten." Her companions' heads all swivelled towards her.

"Kadan?" His eyes widened. Barkspawn approached slowly and sniffed at her feet.

"Hey boy." Ildri greeted him. She crouched, baring her teeth in another smile. He sniffed carefully, and Ildri remained still.

"What happened?" Sten asked. Ildri raised her eyes to meet his.

"My – Swiftrunner accidentally infected me when he brought me here." She explained. "I'm still a little… in-between right now."

"Tell me something only you would know." He demanded.

"Cookies." She replied immediately. "You thought I had a poor victory dance upon returning from seeing Loghain."

"You performed a victory dance?" Loghain smelled amused.

"Yes, I did. Ha ha, laugh it up." Ildri still hadn't moved. "Morrigan, you had a mirror once that you told me about. It was golden, and your mother thought you'd taken a foolish risk. I haven't actually spoken much to you, Zevran, or Loghain. And Nadia, I don't know if there's something you've told me that you haven't told anyone else." Barkspawn had decided that Ildri was Ildri, and sat down beside her. He smelled worried, because he knew something was wrong, but he knew who his mistress was. Ildri stood back up.

"Well, he recognizes you, so that's more than enough for me." Nadia stated. Zevran nodded, while Loghain remained silent. "Do you have a plan?" With the Lady's help, Ildri relayed the story behind the curse to her companions.

"We need to get Zathrian to end the curse." She finished. "I probably shouldn't go. If I go near the camp, they'll shoot me first and ask questions later."

"So we're supposed to return to the Dalish and kidnap their Keeper?" Loghain scoffed. "That won't go over well."

"We… you have to try something." Ildri replied.

"That is true enough." Morrigan agreed. "However, we may not need to return to the camp."

"What do you mean?" Ildri asked.

"When we entered the ruins, I laid down a ward to warn me if another entered behind us. We did not know where the werewolves had gone, and I did not wish for them to surprise us. Someone has removed the ward."

"A mage." Ildri guessed, and the witch nodded.

"Only I or my mother would be able to remove such a ward without alerting the other. The one who removed it is familiar with wards, but not this one."

"Then we'll go back through –" Ildri began.

"You cannot." Sten interrupted. "You said it correctly. If you are seen with us, he will attack."

"Fine. Then _you_ can go back through and find him." Ildri replied.

"This door leads to the main chamber of the ruins." The Lady interjected, gesturing towards the back of the room. "If it is indeed Zathrian, he will not have gone far."

"Then we will not be long." Sten stated, and led the others to the door she had pointed out. Barkspawn remained with Ildri.

"Your friends are very loyal." The Lady commented, once they had left.

"More like determined." Ildri countered. "The Blight is a danger to everyone." It was only a few minutes until Sten and the others returned with Zathrian. The Keeper smelled confident, arrogant; like he knew what was best for everyone and wasn't afraid to show it. Ildri hated him in that moment. _He_ had sent them there, knowing what they would face, with barely any warning.

"So here you are, spirit." Zathrian spat. Ildri growled a warning, drawing eyes to her. "And the Warden. Now I see why you are so determined to break this curse."

"A curse that _you_ created." Ildri growled.

"He will not help us." Swiftrunner snarled. "He is not here to talk."

"Oh, I am here to talk, though I see little point in it." Zathrian countered. "We all know how this will end. Your natures compel it, as does mine."

"It does not have to be that way." The Lady stated. "There is room in your heart for compassion, Zathrian. Surely your retribution is spent."

"My retribution is eternal, spirit, as is my pain. This is justice, no more."

"This is not justice." Ildri cut in. "I have been in damn near the same position you were. Yes, it hurts. I know that. Justice is an eye for an eye. This?" Ildri waved an arm, encompassing the room and those within it. "We are not guilty. We didn't harm your daughter."

"Are you certain your pain is the only reason you will not end this curse?" The Lady asked. "Have you told them how you created the curse?"

"We were told by both you and he that he bound you to a wolf." Morrigan stated. "However, I suspect there was more to it." The Lady nodded.

"And so he did. Witherfang and I are bound as one being. But such powerful magic could not be accomplished without Zathrian's own blood." The Lady's eyes narrowed as she regarded the Keeper. "Your people believe you have rediscovered the immortality of your ancestors, but that is not true. So long as the curse exists, so do you."

"Is that what this is?" Ildri snarled. "You're willing to live forever, to watch as your people die for your revenge? What happens when they ask you how you've lived so long?"

"No! That's not what this is!" Zathrian argued. "I did it for my people! I did it for my son, my daughter! For them, I would do anything!"

"They're dead." Ildri stated. "This does nothing anymore. You've more than had your revenge." She looked towards the Lady. "Do you know anything else about the curse?"

"It would not end with his death. However, his life relies upon its existence. I believe his death plays a part in its ending."

"Then we kill him! Tear him apart now!" Swiftrunner roared.

"And you claimed they were no longer beasts." Zathrian spat, looking at Sten. "You would gain nothing from killing me. Only I know how to break the curse, and I never will!"

"Then we kill you all!" Swiftrunner crouched, ready to attack.

"See? They turn on you just as quickly. Do what I sent you here to do, and let's be done with this." Zathrian ordered Sten.

"I came because the Warden brought us here." Sten stated, nodding towards Ildri. "She has been cursed, and you will end it."

"Then you will all die!" Zathrian spat, reaching for his staff. "All of you will suffer as you deserve!" Zathrian cast two spells in quick succession, bringing the trees to life and paralyzing most of the werewolves, Ildri included. Sten called down a Holy Smite upon Zathrian and advanced upon him as the others dealt with the newly-created sylvans. Ildri's eyes stayed upon Sten. The Keeper ducked and weaved around Sten's sword for a minute or two, waiting for his mana to replenish. Barkspawn hadn't been paralyzed, however, and snuck behind Zathrian. The mabari leaped upon the Keeper from behind, knocking him to the ground. Zathrian cast a spell and the mabari flew off, but Asala hovered behind his neck. The Keeper sighed in defeat as the sylvans fell and the paralysis wore off.

"Finish it!" Swiftrunner roared. "End it now!"

"If there is no room for mercy in our hearts, we cannot expect the same of him." The Lady chastised him.

"I cannot do as you ask, spirit." Zathrian shook his head, having risen to all fours. Sten's sword was still hovering over him. "I am too old to know mercy."

"You would trade your clan's lives for your vengeance?" Morrigan scoffed. "It seems a poor trade in my mind."

"Perhaps… it is a poor trade." The Keeper admitted. "What of you, spirit? You are bound to the curse as much as I am."

"You are my maker, Zathrian. You gave me form and consciousness where none existed. I have known pain and love, hope and fear, all the joy that is life." She lowered her head. "Yet of all things I desire nothing more than an end. I beg you, maker… put an end to me. _We_ beg you… show mercy." Zathrian nodded, and Sten sheathed his blade. The Keeper rose to his feet and raised his staff above his head in both hands. He broke it across his knee and slumped to the ground. There was light and howls rose from a hundred throats as bodies changed. Hair retreated, snouts and bodies shrunk. The light grew brighter as the howls continued. The light faded, and the Lady was gone. A hundred humans shivered on the ground, one shivering elf, and Zathrian's corpse lay next to one of a white wolf.

"Kadan." Ildri couldn't move. The others, the newly-transformed humans, were having a much easier time, but this was the only one they had made that day. Ildri had gone through two, and was exhausted.

"Let me see her." Ildri heard Morrigan say. A cool hand touched her cheek. Ildri felt the cool-warmth of healing magic flow into her. "There is little I can do for her. She must rest." Ildri let out a small groan as someone picked her up. Before her carrier took two steps she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Ildri woke in a tent, lying on her bedroll. The flap was open, and she saw that it was dark outside. From the amount of noise, she surmised that she was at the Dalish camp. She stifled a groan as she sat up.<p>

"You're awake." She looked up to see an unfamiliar elf. "Your companions were concerned. I'll let them know." Ildri's stomach growled loudly and the elf smiled. "I'll also send for food." He walked off and Ildri exited the tent. Her legs wobbled beneath her so she quickly sat on a nearby log.

"I am pleased to see you awake." Morrigan and a female elf approached. "This is Lanaya. She was Zathrian's apprentice, and is now the Keeper." Ildri nodded in greeting. Her throat ached, as did her left shoulder.

"Your friends told me what happened." Lanaya said. "I'm so sorry about what happened."

"It's not your fault." Ildri rasped. Morrigan handed her a waterskin and Ildri drained it. Another elf brought something that smelled like food and Ildri nearly snatched it right out of his hands. _At this point, I don't really care what it is._ She devoured whatever was in the bowl and stopped herself before she licked it clean. "Did you tell her absolutely everything?" Ildri asked Morrigan.

"Yes. About Zathrian and your transformation, all of it." Morrigan informed her.

"Where did they all go?" Ildri pressed.

"They wished to come with us at first, but Loghain reminded them it was a foolish endeavour. Instead they make for Denerim, to be trained with the army." Ildri nodded.

"Can I have some more food?" She asked, gesturing with the empty bowl. Lanaya nodded and waved a hand, and another elf arrived shortly with more food. "Thank you."

"I am the only one who knows about everything that happened." Lanaya informed her. "The others think that you killed all the werewolves and that Zathrian sacrificed himself to end the curse. Otherwise, they would all probably want to hunt down the ones that remain."

"It's not my business how you run your people." Ildri informed her. "So long as I have your word that you'll help us."  
>"Of course. And you do." Lanaya nodded. "You can stay for as long as you want. Our camp is open to you any time you are in the area." Lanaya left the two of them alone.<p>

"Tell me what happened after Swiftrunner carried me off." Morrigan nodded and obliged her. There had been arguing over who was now in command, seeing as Ildri hadn't set in stone who was second-in-command. Nadia and Loghain had argued for a while before Sten had interrupted, saying that he was leaving, and that any who wished to find the Warden could follow if they wanted. That had stopped the arguing, and they all fell into line. They hadn't encountered many werewolves, but mostly spiders and undead creatures. Morrigan had found a gemstone of sorts which had taught her ancient forms of magic.

"What kind of magic?" Ildri interrupted.

"So that I may bear arms and armor as well as any warrior." Morrigan sounded smug.

"Can any mage learn it?" She pressed.

"Yes, others may learn it if they wish."

"Can you write down the process? That might come in handy." Ildri commented. "I don't expect you to stick around forever to teach any other mages that I might recruit after the Blight." Morrigan agreed to do so and continued her tale. They made their way through the ruins, finding a young female dragon and killed it, taking its treasure. They had eventually made their way to the final part of the ruins, where they encountered the Gatekeeper, who took them to Ildri and the Lady. After that conversation, they went back to the main room where Zathrian was waiting for them. He had been surprised to not see Ildri, and they convinced him to return with them.

"And the rest you saw for yourself." Morrigan finished.

"Who carried me back here?" Ildri asked.

"Your Qunari did."

"He's not _my_ anything." Ildri frowned at the witch, who only smiled. "My friend, but only that." Morrigan's smile grew wider and Ildri growled at her, which surprised them both. Ildri rose to her feet to get another bowl of food. _I don't know what this stuff is, but it's amazing._ She sat down on another log, still separate from the main group and Barkspawn joined her. Ildri scratched his ears and quickly ate. Once that was gone, she felt more herself. She saw Nadia and Zevran sitting at the fire, being regaled with stories. Loghain stood a ways back. Even though he'd helped save them, he was still human, and that set him apart. The elves seemed more respectful of Morrigan, probably because she was a mage. She didn't see Sten. Ildri supposed she ought to be celebrating, but she didn't feel like it. This was one treaty down. Hopefully the other two would be less eventful.

"Kadan." Ildri had been so absorbed in her own thoughts she hadn't heard Sten approach.

"Sten." She greeted.

"You are well?" He asked, and she nodded.

"My shoulder hurts like a bitch, but I seem to be me again." Sten sat down on the ground nearby. "Thank you for carrying me back."

"You are small and were in pain." He answered. Ildri supposed that was Sten-talk for 'no problem'. They sat in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. Ildri reached up and scratched at her shoulder from time to time. "Your wound is not healed?"

"I haven't actually looked at it myself." Ildri answered. "But if it hurts like this, there's probably a scar."

"The witch did not heal it?" He pressed, and Ildri shrugged her right shoulder.

"I didn't ask." Sten let out a breath – anyone else, and she'd have called it a sigh – and reached out, pushing her underarmor aside. Ildri tipped her chin down to look at her shoulder. Swiftrunner's teeth had done more damage then she'd originally assumed. Starting at the base of her neck and finishing a few inches below her collarbone were a new assortment of nearly-healed teeth marks. They were spread across the top of her breast and across into her arm. Swiftrunner's jaw was wider than her shoulder, so only half his teeth had dug into her flesh. Ildri shuddered, grateful that they hadn't actually had to fight the werewolves. Sten traced a finger alongside the marks, and Ildri could feel his breath on her. She flushed and looked away. "It looks like she did what she could." Ildri commented, clearing her throat. Sten sat back and Ildri tugged her underarmor back into place, her face still red.

"Will you be ready to travel tomorrow?" He asked.

"I think so, yes." Ildri replied, still looking away. Morrigan caught her eye and smiled smugly. Ildri curled a lip at the other woman and looked back at Sten. "We're going to the Circle Tower next."

"That is close to where my brothers and I first fought darkspawn." He commented. "We could see the Tower from our camp."

"I was thinking that only a few of us would need to go in. The last thing we need is them trying to snatch up our only mage." Sten only nodded. Ildri bit her lip before she could start babbling at him. _Why am I nervous? Sten's my friend._

"I can take that if you want, Warden." Ildri looked over her shoulder and saw an elf nearby. "Your bowl."

"Oh, thank you." She handed her the dish. "Oh, do you know where I can find Athras?"

"I can get him for you." The woman said. "I'll send him over."

"Thank you." Ildri looked back at Sten. "Do you know where my pack is?"

"It is sitting outside of your tent. You walked past it." He told her. Ildri nodded and stood up.

"Thank you." She walked over to her tent and fished the scarf the werewolf woman had given her. Athras came to see her, and she told him what had happened.

"I thought that might have been her fate." He sighed, taking the scarf. "And there was nothing you could do for her?"

"She was in a great deal of pain." Ildri told him.

"Thank you. I wouldn't have known otherwise." Ildri sat down on the stump just outside her tent and watched the camp. Cammen and Gheyna were dancing near the fire, and other Dalish danced with them. Nadia must have coerced Zevran into dancing somehow, because someone was teaching them the steps, which they seemed to pick up quickly. Ildri sat on the stump until she felt herself starting to fall asleep. She then retreated into her tent and fell asleep quickly.

* * *

><p><strong>I know that Templar abilities are supposed to be a warrior-only thing, but I gave them to Ildri anyway. I gave them to Sten because I head-canon that if he learns the abilities, he teaches them to other Qunari so that they can fight better against the Tevinters.<br>**


	16. Chapter 16

**Short chapter is short. But hey, this is two chapters in one day! Also: child death ahoy. Or, almost-child. Just an FYI.**

* * *

><p>Ildri and her companions left early the next morning, leaving the Brecilian Forest behind them. A handful of Dalish hunters travelled with them to guide them to the Forest's edge, but no farther. With the Forest behind them they mounted their horses and headed towards the road. Their journey took them past Lothering, which had been destroyed by darkspawn some months previous. Ildri found herself remembering the red-haired woman they'd met in the tavern, and wondered if she had escaped. There was no way to know, now, so she put it out of her mind. They arrived at Lake Calenhad late in the evening and stayed at the inn, the Spoiled Princess.<p>

"So." Ildri began. They were all seated at a table, finishing their meals. "I figured that Morrigan, at least, would stay here, and anyone else who wants to."

"I, for one, have no desire to see the inside of the mages' prison." Morrigan stated.

"I assumed as much." Ildri nodded. Barkspawn barked up at her from the floor. "Yes, you're coming with me. If, that is, you don't mind getting into the boat." The mabari didn't seem bothered by that, so Ildri assumed that meant he was coming. "Does anyone else have any preferences?" No one spoke up. "I don't know how many people the boat'll hold."

"We can see in the morning." Nadia commented.

And that they did. The boat would only hold four people, not including the Templar who would row them across the lake. Nadia and Zevran elected to remain behind with Morrigan, which meant that Ildri, Sten, and Loghain would be going across. Barkspawn had decided that he very much disliked the boat, and stayed on the dock.

"I shouldn't be too long, boy." Ildri soothed him, scratching his ears. He _whuffed_ forlornly and laid his head on his paws. Ildri patted his head one last time before climbing into the boat. The Templar said little on the ride across. Ildri had managed to talk him into rowing them across eventually, and hadn't even threatened him. Much. Once they were across the lake Ildri climbed out and led the way into the tower. There were a few Templars in the main room, sitting on the floor and leaning against the walls.

"This does not look good." Loghain murmured, and Ildri silently agreed.

"Who are you?" One of them demanded. "I explicitly told Carroll that no one was to cross the lake."

"I am Warden-Commander Ildri Tabris, and I need to speak with the leader of the mages." Ildri announced. The Templar sighed.

"That's not going to happen, I'm afraid."

"And why not?" She asked.

"We were overrun. Demons and abominations stalk the tower halls." The man stated.

"This is why we cut the tongues from mages in Par Vollen." Sten grumbled, and Ildri looked over at him. _I'm going to have to ask after that later._ The Templar gave a dry chuckle.

"I will admit to agreeing with your companion. Maker knows the Qunari wouldn't have a situation like this on their hands."

"What exactly happened?" Ildri asked.

"They took us by surprise. We were ready for one or two abominations, not the horde that fell upon us. We did what we could, but it wasn't enough."

"So what do you plan to do about this?" She pressed. "Sit here at the bottom of the Tower while people die above you?"

"I have sent word to Denerim, calling for the Right of Annulment."

"You would just kill them all?" Loghain broke in. "You watch over Ferelden's greatest weapon, and you would kill them?"

"I do what I must to protect Ferelden." The man argued. "No abominations can cross that threshold." He gestured towards a large door, barred closed. "If any are still alive, the Maker himself must have sheltered them."

"You locked them up in there!" Loghain fumed.

"Not only the mages, but my own men too." The man stated.

"I need the mages." Ildri broke in. "We will go and kill any monsters or abominations." Sten scoffed, but otherwise held his peace.

"Once you go through that door, it will be closed and barred behind you once more." The man cautioned. "I will not open them until I have proof that the Tower is safe once more."

"And what will that take?" She asked.

"First Enchanter Irving. He's an older man, with a beard. If he stands here and tells me that the Tower is safe, then I will consider it so." Ildri nodded and let the man lead the way to the barred door. One of the other Templars opened it, and Ildri passed through, Sten and Loghain on her heels. The door was closed behind them, and they were locked in.

"Ferelden's greatest weapon?" Ildri echoed, looking over at Loghain.

"It's the truth." He replied. "If I had my way, there would be a handful of mages in each division of the army."

"You're a Warden now. You don't need to bother with that anymore." Ildri stated. She glanced at Sten, then decided to ask him about his views on mages at another time. They walked down the hallway, passing a few open doors. Looking through, they seemed to be the mages' barracks. "No demons yet."

"That won't be the case for long, I'm sure." Loghain commented. Ildri opened the door at the end of the hall, which opened into a large room. Two women, a man, and a handful of children were within. The door on the far side had some sort of magical barrier, and the adults were fighting of a creature that seemed to be made of fire. With a cry, the creature fell to the ground and faded away.

"I assume that was a demon." Ildri looked over at Loghain.

"I believe so, yes." He agreed.

"Stop right there!" One of the women shouted. "Take another step, and I swear I will strike you down where you stand!"

"Calm down. I'm a Grey Warden." Ildri began.

"You came here with Loghain Mac Tir. I'm not a fool." The woman replied. "I was at Ostagar, I saw what he did."

"So was I. Loghain has seen the error of his ways and joined the Wardens." Ildri informed her. "You must not get much news cooped up in here."

"You seem familiar." The woman stepped a bit closer. "Weren't you one of Duncan's apprentices?"

"I traveled to Ostagar with Duncan to become a Grey Warden, yes." Ildri agreed. The woman lowered her staff.

"I am Wynne, mage of the Circle. You said that the Templars let you in?"

"The man I spoke to said that he sent to Denerim for the Right of Annulment. I assume that means that they plan on killing the lot of you. I need the mages' help to fight the Blight, and I don't want to see that happen." Ildri explained.

"I thought they might have." The woman sighed. "Greagoir thinks the Circle is beyond all hope."

"What exactly happened here?" Ildri asked. "I assume that it was Greagoir that I spoke to, and he didn't know."

"We had… something of a revolt, led by a man named Uldred." Wynne shot Loghain a dark look as he cursed. "Something you want to add?"

"I told the man that we needed more mages, not to stage a bloody rebellion!" Loghain fumed.

"When he returned from Ostagar, he attempted to take over the Circle. As you might see, it didn't quite work out as he expected."

"So not all of the mages sided with him?" Ildri asked.

"I do not know. When I returned from Ostagar, I learned that Uldred had nearly convinced the entirety of the Circle to join with him." She nodded toward Loghain. "I told Irving, the First Enchanter, what happened on the battlefield, and he said that he would take care of it. Something must have gone wrong. I found the children and took them away after Irving told me to flee. We made it here, and I erected this barrier over the door so nothing could attack us."

"If you lower the barrier we can go through and kill the abominations. Greagoir said that if he spoke to the First Enchanter, he would recall the Right of Annulment."

"None of the three of you are mages. I will go with you. Petra and Kinnon can put the barrier back up, and we can deal with whatever we find."

"Are you sure, Wynne?" The other woman asked. "You were badly hurt earlier. I could come with you."

"The children need your help more." Wynne demurred.

"Then let's get going." Ildri walked across the room and Wynne cast a spell, lowering the barrier.

"I don't know what we may face." Wynne said. "Stay on your guard."

* * *

><p>The four of them made relatively short work of the abominations, undead and demons that they came across, with Wynne healing any injuries they took. She didn't seem to trust Loghain, however, and stayed as far away from him as she could. They found Owain, a Tranquil mage. Wynne explained what Tranquility was, and Ildri shuddered. They were little better than undead, in their state. Another mage named Niall had taken something called the Litany of Adralla, which was supposed to prevent or stop the mind control of blood mages. They located Irving's office on that floor, and Ildri ransacked the office after sending Wynne to look through another room. She didn't find much, but there was a book written in a language she didn't understand that she figured Morrigan might be interested in. Shrugging, she slipped it into her pack. On the next floor, they found more of the same things that they'd dealt with before, as well as something Wynne called an Arcane Horror. Continuing down the hall they passed a few empty rooms, while one held a desire demon who'd enthralled a handful of Templars. The final room on that floor was in the center, and contained a powerful abomination and some undead. There were a number of Tranquil mages as well, and it seemed like the abomination had been performing some sort of ritual. They went up the stairs, where another abomination awaited. At least, Ildri thought it was. It looked no different than the others she'd seen.<p>

"Oh look… visitors." The creature crooned. "I'd entertain you, but… too much effort involved."

"That's fine by me." Ildri drew her blades. "Killing things is entertaining enough."

"But why do you fight?" The creature asked. "Aren't you tired of the violence? I know I am." Ildri took a step forward, suddenly feeling more tired than she ought to. She thought she heard someone behind her speak, but she couldn't tell for sure. "Why do you fight? You deserve more… you deserve to rest. The world will go on without you."

* * *

><p>Ildri woke up lying in a bed, and felt someone behind her. She rolled over to see Nelaros behind her. <em>That's not right… is it?<em>

"Good morning, dearest." Nelaros woke and saw her eyeing him. "How did you rest?" He leaned towards her and pressed his lips to her cheek.

"Well enough, I suppose." Ildri replied. She sat up and the blanket slid off, revealing her body. She looked at her left shoulder, and then at her right arm. _There's something…_

"Are you all right, love?" Nelaros asked, frowning.

"I think so. Something just doesn't feel right." Ildri shook her head.

"You'll feel better once you have something to eat." He stated, climbing out of the bed. Ildri followed suit, getting dressed. The door flew open and Ildri spun on her heel, reaching for… reaching for what?

"Mama!" A small, blonde elf child latched her arms around Ildri's waist. Ildri's eyes widened and she took a deep breath. _No, I don't have…_ The little girl smiled up at her, and Ildri saw that they both had the same bright green eyes. "Mama, I'm hungry."

"I suppose it's a good thing I'm about to make breakfast, isn't it?" Nelaros smiled over at them. Ildri hadn't moved or said a word.

"Mama?" The girl asked. "Mama!"

"I… what is it?" Ildri managed to say.

"You're awful quiet." The girl commented.

"I don't think Mama's feeling very good today. Come on, Adaia." Nelaros beckoned the girl over, and she released Ildri and the pair of them left the room. _Something isn't right. I just… don't know what._ Ildri scrubbed at her eyes with her palms before exiting the room. Nelaros was working on some breakfast, and… Adaia were sitting at a table in the main room of the building. Ildri joined the girl at the table. The pair of them chatted while Nelaros made the meal. Once the three of them had finished eating, Ildri's sense of unease had entirely worn off. _Must have been a bad dream._ Nelaros kissed the top of their daughter's head and gave Ildri a quick kiss before he left for work. Ildri and Adaia spent part of the day cleaning, and then Ildri made lunch. She then sent her daughter outside to play with the other children in the Alienage, while she set about darning socks and patching clothes. Once the sun began to set Adaia and Nelaros returned home, and Ildri made supper. After supper there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Adaia hopped out of her seat and raced to the door. "Who're you?"

"I'm looking for Ildri. Is she here?" A female voice asked. It sounded familiar, but Ildri couldn't place it.

"Mama, there's people here to see you." The girl announced. "Two of them are shems." She added quietly. Ildri frowned and stood.

"Thank you, Adaia. You go sit back down with your father, now." Ildri walked over to the door. Two humans, an older woman and man, and another person, much taller than them, stood at the door. "Can I help you?"

"Ildri, do you remember any of us?" The woman asked.

"You do seem familiar, but I can't imagine where I might have met you." Ildri admitted.

"Is everything all right?" Nelaros asked.

"Yes, husband." Ildri called over. "Is there something that you need?" Ildri directed towards the woman.

"Kadan," the man in the back spoke up, "this is false."

"I'm afraid you're mistaken." Ildri replied. There was something about him… she was sure she'd seen him somewhere before.

"Do you remember how you got here?" The woman asked.

"I've always lived here." Ildri answered. "This is my home."

"What happened on your wedding, Kadan?" The tall man asked.

"My cousin Shianni woke me, and…" Ildri frowned. "I… went and found Soris…"

"What else?" He pressed.

"Vaughan…" Ildri whispered.

"Yes, the Arl of Denerim." Nelaros said from Ildri's side. She hadn't even noticed him leaving the table. "His father died down at Ostagar, when the darkspawn were defeated."

"He took us… and you died…" Ildri reached for the ring she wore on her left hand, spinning it. "I watched you die in my arms."

"Of course not." Nelaros smiled. "I didn't die. You must have had a bad dream." Ildri shook her head.

"No, no, no… you died! Shianni was…" Ildri looked over at Adaia. "This isn't…"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Nelaros announced, giving the guests a dirty look. "You've upset my wife." He reached out to put an arm around her, and Ildri slapped it away.

"Mama?" Adaia asked, walking towards her. Ildri buried her face in her hands. _Nelaros died. I never got married. I don't have a child._

"This isn't real." Ildri breathed.

"Ildri, come with us." The human woman said.

"Mama, you can't leave!" Adaia cried out. Ildri felt tears begin to gather and didn't bother trying to blink them away. She remembered everything. She lowered her hands and saw that she was wearing her armor, not the dress she'd put on earlier. Ildri raised her eyes to Sten and nodded, stepping out of the door. "You're not leaving!" Adaia shouted, launching herself at Ildri and landing on her back. Ildri grasped at the girl's hands, wrapped around her throat, only to find that she couldn't remove them. Ildri fell to her knees, and tears streaked down her cheeks as she reached for her dagger. _It's not real_ – she drew the dagger and thrust it backwards, into the girl's side. She shrieked, but didn't let go. Nearly sobbing, she pulled out the dagger and stabbed again. She repeated the process two more times before the girl let go. Leaving the dagger where it was, she fell forward onto her hands.

"Are you all right?" Wynne asked.

"Please don't touch me."

"I'm just going to heal you. Is that all right?" Ildri nodded her assent and fell the cool-warmth flow over her. _I killed my daughter. I killed my daughter._ Ildri closed her eyes as she cried. _I killed my daughter._

Once her tears were spent, she retrieved her dagger and they moved on. Wynne explained that they were in the Fade, and that it had been a demon of Sloth they had encountered, not an abomination. Wynne led the way, being a mage, and therefore the most familiar with the Fade. There was a platform nearby, and when Wynne touched it she disappeared. Loghain was next. Ildri reached out for it but Sten stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Are you all right, Kadan?" He asked, studying her.

"I killed my daughter. Or, at least, the closest thing I'll ever have to one." Ildri spat bitterly.

"It was a demon in disguise." He countered.

"As my daughter." Ildri scrubbed at her face with her hand. "I don't expect you to understand. We should keep moving." Sten removed his hand and Ildri touched the platform. There was a kaleidoscope of colour, and she stood beside Wynne and Loghain. A moment later, Sten joined them. They were on an island of sorts, odd-looking and a faded brown. A creature stood in the middle, and they approached warily.

"So, you have all escaped." The creature rasped. "But playtime is over. You all have to go back now."

"No." Ildri snarled. "We are here to finish this. We are going to kill you."

"I made you happy and safe. I gave you peace. I did my best for you, and you say you want to leave? Can't you ever think of anyone but yourself?"

"You gave me an _illusion._ You gave me a _lie_. I'd rather live the life I have than live like _that._" Ildri drew her blades.

"You wish to fight? Very well. You will learn to bow to your betters, mortal!" With a flash of light, the creature shifted into an ogre. Loghain and Sten kept its attention on them while Ildri darted at its sides, hacking and slashing. Wynne kept them all on their feet and shot a few offensive spells at it. From an ogre it shifted to a Rage demon, then into an abomination, then a shade, and then, finally, it returned to its original form. Once it was finally slain, Ildri slumped to her knees. She blinked, and she was laying on her side in the Circle Tower. Wynne was beside the body of another mage, and she was rifling through his pockets.

"The Litany of Adralla." She announced, holding up a scroll of paper. She offered it to Ildri, who shook her head. They had a quick bit to eat, and then proceeded down the hall. There were a handful of dragonlings in the next room, and a few other rooms with abominations within. Within the final room there was a Templar inside some sort of magical cage.

"This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong!" The Templar said, once he noticed them.

"What is this?" Ildri asked Wynne.

"I've never seen anything like it." She admitted, placing a hand on the barrier. The Templar cried out in pain, and Wynne snatched her hand back. "The boy is exhausted."

"Enough visions. If anything in you is human, kill me now and stop this game. You have broken the others, but I will stay strong, for my sake… for theirs…" The Templar lowered himself onto a knee, rocking back and forth. "Filthy blood mages… getting in my head… I will not break. I'd rather die."

"He thinks we're an illusion." Ildri surmised.

"Silence!" The Templar rose to his feet. "I'll not listen to anything you say. Now begone!" He closed his eyes and looked away for a moment before looking back. "That's always worked before! I closed my eyes, but you're still here."

"We're really here. We're not an illusion." Ildri told him. "Do you know where the other mages are? Those that didn't side with Uldred?"

"They are in the Harrowing Chamber." The Templar waved towards the stairs. "The sounds coming out of there… oh, Maker…"

"Once the blood mages are dead, the cage should fall, right?" Ildri asked Wynne.  
>"Yes. Once the mage who cast the spell is dead, it will fall." Wynne agreed.<p>

"Then let's get going." Ildri walked over to the stairs.

"You can't save them! You don't know what they've become!" The Templar called after her, and Ildri ignored him. She pushed open the door and headed up the stairs. The stairs opened up into a large, domed chamber. A number of mages were spread out across the chamber's floor, and a handful of abominations were standing with a bald man on Ildri's right. They stood in a small circle, and someone was screaming. A new abomination rose from the floor and joined its brethren. The bald man looked up and smirked at Ildri and her companions.

"Intruders. I bid you welcome." He walked until he stood a few feet in front of them. "Care to join in our… revels?"

"Uldred, what have you done?" Wynne demanded.

"Uldred is gone. I am Uldred, and yet… not Uldred. I am far more than he was." His smirk widened into a grin. "I could give you this gift, Wynne. You and all the mages."

"Never!" She spat.

"Resistance!" He threw his hands in the air. "Everywhere I go, resistance! It's very inconsiderate of you." He shook his head. "I even have the First Enchanter on my side. Irving?" He looked over at a much older man, bearded, like Greagoir had said.

"Stop him… he is building an army… he will destroy the Templars and –"

"You're a sly one, telling on me like that. And here I thought he was beginning to turn." Uldred sighed. "He'll serve me eventually… as will you." Uldred turned his grin on Ildri.

"I'd rather die." She spat.

"That would be a waste. Your raw potential, with the strength of a demon behind it? You would be _unstoppable._"

"That's not happening." Ildri snapped, drawing her blades.

"Fight, if you must. It will make my victory all the sweeter." Uldred crouched over, and then he was gone. A hulking beast the size of an ogre sprang up in his place.

"An abomination of Pride." Wynne hissed. Ildri let out a cry and ran forward, Sten and Loghain hot on her heels. She stepped around and behind the creature, swinging her sword into its leg and hoping to hamstring it. She missed the mark by scant inches, digging her blade into its flesh. The creature roared, throwing its head back. It turned around just after she pulled her sword out and swatted her away. Ildri went flying into one of the abominations. It clawed at her, tearing at her armor. Loghain swung his shield into the creature, giving Ildri a chance to get to her feet. Ildri attacked the creature herself, stabbing her sword through its chest. It wailed and scratched at her, one of its claws grazing her cheek. She pulled out her sword and kicked it away from her. It fell to the ground and she swiped her sword across its throat before launching herself at the Pride abomination once more. The creature was bleeding from several wounds. Ildri slashed her dagger across the back of its left thigh, managing to hamstring it this time. The creature fell to its knee, crying out. Ildri could hear Wynne chanting, but didn't pay close attention. Standing in front of the creature, Sten roared as he plunged Asala into its chest. It roared and flung out a hand, smacking into Sten and sending him flying across the room. The abomination roared once more before falling onto its side. Ildri ran after Sten, who had been thrown nearly the length of the room.

"Sten!" She dropped her blades and fell to her knees beside him. She rolled him over so that he was facing the domed ceiling.

"I am uninjured, Kadan." He blinked twice and sat up. Ildri sat back on her feet and nodded.

"Good." She cleared her throat. "That's good." Ildri rose to her feet to see that Wynne had rushed over to Irving's side and was healing him. Once he was on his feet he brushed her off, and she went to see to the other mages.

"First Enchanter Irving?" Ildri asked, approaching him.

"Yes. Maker, I'm too old for this." He groaned.

"I am Warden-Commander Ildri Tabris. Greagoir told me that I needed to bring you back down to see him before he would open the Tower back up."

"I imagine so. Did he call for the Right of Annulment?" He asked.

"I'm afraid so."

"Then thank you. The Circle owes the four of you a debt we will never be able to repay." His eyes narrowed. "Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir?"

"Teyrn no longer." Loghain replied. "I'm just a Warden, now." Irving left it at that.

"We should let the Templars know that the Tower is ours again. I may need some assistance down the stairs." Ildri stepped forwards, pulling Irving's arm over her shoulder. "Curse whoever insisted on housing the mages in a tower." Ildri chuckled.

* * *

><p>At the base of the Tower, Greagoir seemed rather surprised to see them.<p>

"Maker's breath… I never thought I'd see any of you again." He admitted.

"I didn't expect it either. But it is over. Uldred is dead." Irving sounded rather sad. Of course, he'd known Uldred for Maker only knew how long, and the man had torn apart Irving's home.

"Uldred tortured these mages!" The Templar from the cage broke in. "Trying to break their minds, turn them into abominations. We can't know how many of them may have turned!"

"Stand down, Cullen!" Greagoir ordered. "I am the Knight-Commander here, not you. Irving tells me that that order has been restored, and I believe him."

"We will rebuild, the Circle will go on. We will learn from this tragedy, and be strengthened by it." Irving stated.

"But they may have demons –" Cullen began.

"Enough! I have made my decision!" Greagoir interrupted. He then turned to face Ildri. "Thank you for your aid. You have proven yourself a friend of both the Circle and the Templars today."

"Do I speak with you or the First Enchanter about mage allies?" Ildri asked.

"That would be me." Irving cut in. "The least we can do after all you have done for us is help you against the darkspawn. I would hate to survive this only to be overcome by the Blight. I give you my word as First Enchanter: the Circle will join the Grey Wardens in the fight." He promised.

"Thank you, First Enchanter." Ildri smiled and bowed her head.

"Irving, I have a request. I would like permission to follow Ildri." Wynne stated, taking Ildri by surprise. "This woman is brave and good, and capable of great things. If she will accept my help," she looked over at Ildri, who nodded, "I will help her accomplish her goals."

"You were never one to stay in the Tower when there was adventure to be had elsewhere." Irving smiled.

"Why stay when I can be of service elsewhere?" Wynne asked, smiling back.

"Then I give you leave to follow the Warden-Commander, but know that you always have a place here."

They left Carroll at the docks and rowed themselves across. The ferry man was relieved to have his boat back. Ildri and her four companions went into the inn, where the rest of their group waited for them. Ildri introduced Wynne to the others, and with the older woman's help, told the three of them what had happened within the Tower. They skipped over the personal 'Fade dream' pieces. Once Ildri had Morrigan alone she gave the witch the book she'd pilfered from Irving's office.

"Mother's grimoire!" Morrigan's eyes glittered with delight. "I had not even spoken to you of it."

"What do you think is in it?" Ildri asked.

"I know not, but I do not intend to squander this opportunity to learn more than Mother wished me to." The witch announced. "Thank you." They rested at the Spoiled Princess that night, and began to make their way further west in the morning. Wynne was given a crash course in horseback riding on one of the spare mounts, and then they were off. She rode close to Ildri, who relayed a summarized and slightly edited version of their adventures.

"If I may ask…" Wynne began, once Ildri had finished.

"You can ask, but I won't promise an answer." Ildri told her.

"Who was that young man? From the Fade?"

"I was supposed to marry him." Ildri answered. "He died."

"My condolences." Wynne murmured.

"I'd only just met him that day. It was an arranged marriage."

"I see." They rode in silence for a while, then Ildri fell back to speak with Sten.

"So… do you really cut out the tongues of your mages in Par Vollen?" Ildri asked.

"Not always." He replied. "Most often their lips are sewn shut." Ildri snapped her head up at him.

"Sewn shut? How do they eat?"

"Very carefully."

"Is it magic you don't like, or mages themselves?" Ildri asked.

"I know nothing of mages themselves, only their actions. I am not Arvaarad."

"What's Arvaarad?"

"Similar to your Templars, but more vigilant."

"They watch your mages?"

"Yes." Ildri pursed her lips and looked away for a moment.

"Do you think that magic is evil, then, or just mages?"

"'As a fish stranded by the tide knows the air or a drowning man knows the sea, so does a mage know magic.'"

"But knowledge isn't as deadly as ignorance." Ildri pointed out.

"Knowledge is one-half of wisdom, but there are many things that can only be known too late."

"Mages aren't all as dangerous as you think. You _know_ that, Wynne and Morrigan have both healed you at this point."

"Say that to the slain within the Circle Tower. See if they agree." Sten retorted.

"Not all mages turn to blood magic." She countered.

"My people have a tale: an Ashkaari walked among the fields once, observing the labourers at work. Flax bloomed all around him, the colour of still water. The air rippled like a curtain. As he stopped to examine a blossom, a bee stung him on the hand. The Ashkaari turned to a labourer for aid, and noticed for the first time the heavy gloves and coat she wore. As she tended to him, the Ashkaari asked them why she was dressed so in such stifling heat. 'To avoid your fate.' She replied. 'But there are many thousands of bees here,' the Ashkaari said to her, 'and only one stung me. Surely your caution is unwarranted?' 'The stinger is always a surprise,' agreed the labourer, 'but so is the bee that simply passes one by.'" Ildri wrinkled her nose.

"Fair point." She conceded. She looked at Sten out of the corner of her eye. On horseback, he was only a handful of inches taller than she was, versus the almost two-foot difference while they were standing. "I didn't thank you earlier." He looked over and raised a brow. "For helping to 'wake me up' while we were stuck in the Fade."

"The mage was unable to, and it was unlikely that the other Warden would prove to be any better." Sten remarked.

"I know, but still. Thank you."

* * *

><p><strong>It doesn't make a lot of sense to me that a non-Warden mage would be able to do all the stuff that they do in the game. Also, I really, <em>really<em> don't like the Circle Tower. It's one of my least favourite parts. Next, Orzammar!  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you to Guest Judy, Alpenwolf, Saint102, MirandaBasilisk, Zerogoki, and demon lord Nazara for the follows, faves and reviews!**

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><p>The closer they got to Orzammar, the more Nadia seemed to slip between being excited and nervous. From what the dwarf had told her back at Ostagar, Ildri couldn't say that she blamed her. Hopefully, returning as a Warden would be enough to counter the so-called 'crime' that she had committed.<p>

"Are you going to be all right?" Ildri asked her. They were still a few days' ride from Orzammar, sitting beside the fire at camp.

"I don't really know." Nadia admitted. "I want to see Rica again, I know that. But I don't know if they'll even let me in."

"Once you join the Wardens, your past is forgotten." Ildri reminded her, nodding towards Loghain.

"I know, but I still get nervous about it. I know that it's stupid to worry so much about it. I just can't help it."

"I never said it was stupid." Ildri told her. "I have a pretty good idea of how you feel. I can't say that I was in as much shit as you were in when I left my home behind, however." Nadia nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"Part of it is I don't know what to expect. I don't know what's happened to Rica since I left. She said she'd found a good patron before I left, and I hope she wasn't just saying that so I wouldn't worry."

"I don't know what to tell you. I don't think that there's anything I _can_ say to make you feel better." Ildri put her hand on Nadia's shoulder.

"Yeah. But thanks. It's nice to talk about it." Nadia gave her a small smile.

"Anytime."

There were a number of merchants' stands just outside the gates of Orzammar, as well as a tavern and stables. No inn, however, seeing as the city was so close. Ildri sent Loghain to have their horses stabled at a decent price, seeing as she wouldn't know the difference herself. Once he had returned, they all headed for the gates. A handful of dwarves stood guard.

"Halt!" One of them called out. "Who are you?"

"I am Ildri Tabris, Warden-Commander of Ferelden. We seek entry into Orzammar." The dwarf shook his head.

"We cannot allow entry at this time."

"I have a treaty that compels your king to lend me troops during a Blight." Ildri stated, showing it to him.

"Orzammar has no king. Endrin Aeducan returned to the Stone, sick over the loss of his sons." The guard replied.

"I am sorry for Orzammar's loss." Ildri bowed her head. The guard bowed his head in return.

"However, this bears the royal seal." He tapped the treaty with a finger. "That means only the Assembly is authorized to address it. Grey Wardens, you may pass."

"Thank you." Ildri returned the treaty to her pack as the gates opened. Ildri led her companions through.

"Wait." The guard grabbed Nadia's arm. "You're the brand who dishonoured the Proving!"

"I'm a Grey Warden now." Nadia shook her arm from his grasp.

"What did you just call her?" Ildri growled.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Nadia told her.

"Nadia is a Grey Warden, one of the few left in Ferelden. You will show her respect." Ildri ordered the guard, jabbing a finger toward his face.

"As you wish." The guard ground out. Ildri curled her lip and spun on her heel, walking through the open gates.

"Can we expect more behaviour like that?" Ildri asked, nodding her head towards the closing gate.

"Probably." Nadia answered. "I don't know how many dusters have ever been made Wardens, then returned to Orzammar."

"What was that he called you? Is it about the mark on your cheek?"

"We – the casteless – are branded as children, so that anyone who looks at us knows what we are. So that we can never 'rise beyond our place'." Nadia spat.

"That's disgusting!" Ildri cried, her eyes wide.

"That's the way things are." Nadia replied. "It's pretty well the only way they can tell us apart. It's not as simple as looking at the shape of someone's ears down here. Dust Town is just as bad as your Alienages. Worse, really." Ildri frowned.

"If anyone gives you trouble, we'll sort them out." She promised. Nadia shook her head, tapping a fist on the griffons on her chest.

"This should be more than enough to sort anyone out. Besides, I don't want anyone fighting for me. I can do that well enough on my own."

"If you're sure…"

"Absolutely." Nadia nodded firmly. "Anyway, where we're standing now is the Hall of Heroes. These statues are the Paragons. Each Paragon has a House named after them."

"What is a Paragon, exactly?" Ildri asked.

"Basically, they did something important or good and the Assembly decides that they are going to be worshipped." Nadia explained. "I never thought I'd see these again." She added quietly.

"Why would such a small people build things so tall?" Sten murmured, looking around. "They must have an impressive array of ladders." Ildri snorted a laugh, causing the others to look at her. She shook her head, still laughing as she imagined hundreds of dwarves on ladders, chiseling away at the ceiling. Nadia now leading the party, they exited the Hall of Heroes and entered the Commons. There was a fight going on when they entered.

"I'll have you thrown in prison!" Ildri could hear, as they drew closer. From behind him, the speaker looked like an older dwarf.

"You've bitten off more than you can chew!" The second speaker was a younger dwarf. He looked to have maybe a decade on Ildri, but she was not a proper judge.

"Handlers! Separate these deshyrs in the Diamond Quarter! I will not have Bhelen incite a riot!" A guard demanded.

"You will not speak that way about the man who should be king!" Another man shouted, drawing his weapon and attacking the guard. The older dwarf and a few others fled. Once the guard was slain, the younger dwarf and his men left as well.

"That was Prince Bhelen." Nadia whispered, gesturing towards the younger dwarf. "King Aeducan's youngest son."

"Why would they be fighting in the streets?" Ildri asked.

"I think that they do not agree on who should be king of the dwarves." Zevran volunteered. Ildri sighed.

"I take it no one here knows a whole lot about dwarven politics." Ildri looked around at her companions.

"They are said to be bloody, but the same can be said of almost any country." Zevran stated.

"I have read quite a bit about the dwarves." Wynne piped up. Ildri gestured for her to continue. "The Assembly is made up of the deshyrs, or the nobility, of the dwarves. The Assembly is second in influence only to the ruler of Orzammar, and is sometimes capable of overruling the aforementioned leader's power." Wynne launched into a long explanation, most of which Ildri ignored.

"So if there's no king, how do we get them to honour the treaties?" Loghain interrupted at length. Wynne threw a glare his way, and Ildri shot him a thankful grin when the mage wasn't looking.

"I guess we'll just have to go and talk to them." Ildri sighed. "Nadia, do you know where the Assembly gets together?"

"The Chamber of the Assembly is in the Diamond Quarter. I've never actually been _in_ it, but I know where it is. Mostly."

"Lead the way." Ildri waved an arm. Nadia led them down the right-hand path through the Commons, past a number of merchant's stalls. Three-quarters of the way down was a set of doors, on their right. Just a few feet in front of them the paved street ended and a rocky path began. "What's down there?"

"That's where the Deep Roads entrance to Orzammar is." Nadia informed her. Ildri nodded, and Nadia led the way through the doors and up a small set of stairs. They hadn't been in the Diamond Quarter for more than two minutes when someone called Nadia's name.

"Rica!" Nadia smiled and threw out her arms. A red-haired dwarven woman hugged Nadia.

"I heard that there were Grey Wardens in Orzammar, and I hoped you'd be with them." The other woman smiled at Nadia. "It's so good to see you."

"I'm not the only Warden here. Rica, this is Ildri Tabris. She's the Warden-Commander, and my boss. Ildri, this is my sister, Rica." Rica curtseyed as best she could as Nadia introduced their other companions. "What are you doing up here?"

"I had a son. Prince Bhelen's son." Rica's grin spread from ear to ear. "We named him Endrin. I'm the mother to the prince of Orzammar!"

"Holy shit." Nadia breathed. "I'm the auntto the next blighted king of Orzammar."

"Would you like to come meet him? I'm sure Bhelen would like to meet you as well." Rica offered. Nadia looked over at Ildri.

"Nadia can go with you if she wants to. Do you know if there's a Warden outpost in Orzammar?" Ildri asked.

"Yes, Nadia and I will be walking right past it on our way to the palace. Would you like me to show you?"

"That would be appreciated." Ildri nodded. Rica beckoned them onwards, and the eight of them followed her. Nadia didn't stray from her sister's side. Rica led them to the Warden's Hall, as it was called in Orzammar, and the two dwarves continued on their way. Ildri smiled to herself as she watched them walk away, then walked into the building. Without Rica's help it would have been easy enough to find, had she been looking for it – there were large griffons carved into the stone on either side of the door. The Warden's Hall opened into a large entryway, and she saw racks upon the walls for storing weaponry. The entryway opened into a dining room, with a long table and enough chairs to seat at least thirty people at once. A dwarven woman came bustling out of one of said doors.

"Blessed Stone, you must be the Wardens!" The woman smiled broadly. "It's been some time since we've had so many of you here at once. Come in, please." Ildri followed the woman into the dining room. "My name is Ferika, and I'm the Hall Mistress."

"Pleased to meet you, Ferika." Ildri smiled in return. "There's one more of us, but she's catching up with family right now and won't be joining us until later. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd like a bath and something to eat." The others quickly agreed.

"I'll get something together as quick as I can, you have no worries about that. I'll show you to the baths and bedrooms." Ferika guided them down a hall. "The kitchen and pantry are just off the main dining room, and training rooms are behind us, at the other end of the hall. Straight ahead are the baths. There isn't much privacy, I'm afraid, but you'll not have to wait on the water to warm. The pools are fed from hot springs. Bedrooms are just this side of the baths, on either side of the hall. There's private rooms for up to twenty, and then there's the communal bunks." She pointed towards each of them as she listed them off.

"What do you mean by 'not much privacy', exactly?" Morrigan raised a brow.

"Men on the right and women on the left. There's a bit of privacy from the other gender, but not so much from your own." Ferika explained. Morrigan nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Will Duncan be joining us as well?" Ildri winced.

"I'm sorry to say that Duncan fell at Ostagar… five months ago, now." Ildri informed her. Ferika stopped dead, looking up at Ildri with wide eyes.

"Oh, that's just…" Ferika took a deep breath, bordering on a sob. "He was a good man."

"Yes, he was." Ildri nodded, and they proceeded in silence. Ferika left them at the door to the bathing chambers.

* * *

><p>Once bedrooms were chosen and baths were had, they all returned to the dining room to eat. Ildri didn't ask what it was that Ferika and the other servants had put together, just ate. Once she was finished, she asked Ferika about recent news and gossip around Orzammar. The city was divided between Bhelen and Harrowmont, with no one being able to win enough votes to settle the matter. Rumour had it that Bhelen had framed his second brother for his first brother's murder, but there was no proof. Also, from all accounts, he planned on marrying his casteless concubine Rica – something that had never happened before. Bhelen seemed to embody the change that Orzammar needed, while Harrowmont seemed content to let dwarven society stagnate. Partway through the discussion, Nadia returned. She went on for a while about how adorable her nephew was, and how happy her sister was around bites of food.<p>

"I actually got to meet Bhelen." Nadia stated. "He seems kind of… slick, but he loves Rica. He plans on marrying her."

"Ferika mentioned that." Ildri replied, nodding towards the Hall Mistress. "What do you think? Should we back him?" Nadia rocked back and forth in her chair.

"As Rica's sister, I'd say I don't care about anything else. I just want my sister to be happy and safe. As a Grey Warden, though, I'm not sure. I feel like I'm a little too close to all this to be asked to make an unbiased decision about it."

"Points for honesty, at least." Ildri granted. "What did you tell Bhelen about us?"

"I went over what we've done so far to try and fight the Blight, and that we need a king in Orzammar to lend us troops. Nothing he couldn't have learned on his own. He said that he's willing to speak to you if you come alone to the palace in the morning." Ildri's brows rose.

"Really?" She leaned back in her chair. "Just me?"

"Both him and Harrowmont are worried that the other one's gonna send assassins against him. By yourself, you won't seem to be as much of a threat." Nadia explained.

"Opinions?" Ildri asked, looking around the table.

"If they wished to kill you themselves, it would be simpler if you were alone." Zevran commented.

"I agree." Morrigan stated. "'Tis a foolish risk." Loghain, Wynne and Sten all voiced similar opinions.

"I can't think of any reason that Bhelen would want to kill me." Ildri countered.

"If I may?" Ildri looked over at Ferika. "I know that neither Lord Harrowmont nor Lord Bhelen are giving many private audiences, even to people they trust."

"So why me?" Ildri frowned.

"He's probably assuming that you're going to help him in the end, what with the familial relations." Loghain commented, jerking his head towards Nadia.

"'Familial relations' with those in my command doesn't automatically mean I'll side with him, though." Ildri pointed out. "I'll admit that it might seem more likely, but it's not a guarantee." She leaned back in her chair and let out a breath. "Nadia, you and I will go to the palace in the morning. You can introduce me or whatever, but I want him to know that I'm not going to bend to his every demand. Zevran, I want you to go and be all sneaky-like and see if you can learn more about either of them, and whatever else is interesting around here. Loghain, you and Sten go and find out how a person gets a 'private audience' with Harrowmont. If anyone asks, you'll tell them that it's a difference of opinion within the Wardens. Morrigan, Wynne, you can stay or go if you want. I'll give each of you some spending money in the morning. Zevran will get a bit more, just in case he needs to grease a few palms." Barkspawn whuffed up at Ildri from his position on the floor. "Yes, you can come too. You might not be able to actually come into the room with me, but you can come to the palace. Just don't piss on anything or anyone while we're there."

"Do you want me to wait at the palace until you're done?" Nadia asked, and Ildri shrugged a shoulder.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. You can visit your sister again, or go help Zevran. It's up to you. I just want everyone back here at noon. Or whatever they call it down here." No one had anything else to add, and they all went to their rooms.

* * *

><p>Ferika woke Ildri just after what she promised was dawn – how the woman knew, Ildri couldn't begin to guess. Ildri and Barkspawn headed out into the dining room, and she counted out twenty sovereigns for each of her party members, and ten extra for Zevran. The others eventually made their way out of bed, and before long they were all seated at the table. Ildri pushed each of them their piles of coin.<p>

"While the two of you are out," Ildri nodded towards Loghain and Sten, "see if you can't find out who sells or repairs weapons around here. My sword's got more than a few dings in it." Once she and Nadia were finished eating, Nadia led her to the palace. The only real difference between it and the surrounding estates was the intricacy of the carvings across the front. Nadia was going to walk into Bhelen's audience chamber with her, but was halted by the guards.

"Prince Bhelen was very specific. The Warden-Commander only." Ildri nodded.

"Thank you, Nadia. Tell Rica I said hello." Nadia nodded and wandered off. After telling Barkspawn to stay, the guards opened the door and announced her.

"Ildri Tabris, Warden-Commander of the Grey in Ferelden." The doors closed behind her, and she was alone with Bhelen. He was slightly taller than Nadia, with an oddly braided beard and short hair, both blond.

"Lord Bhelen." Ildri bowed her head. "Senior Warden Nadia said that you wished to speak with me." Bhelen put his hands behind his back and studied her.

"Yes. My sister-to-be told me a great deal about you. Your Order has my condolences for Duncan's loss. I only met him once, but he was a good man."

"Thank you. But I don't think you asked for me just to exchange pleasantries." Ildri stated. _I hope not, anyway. _

"Straight to the point, then." Bhelen gave her a small smile. "What do you know about the politics of Orzammar, at the moment?"

"I know that you and Harrowmont both want to be king, but neither of you have won the vote." Ildri summarized, and Bhelen nodded.

"Essentially, yes. I know that you need troops to fight the Blight, but your treaty only compels the king. With no king, you get no troops."

"I understand that." Ildri replied. "I had hoped that was the reason you asked me here."

"Not many outsiders so quickly grasp Orzammar's rather… convoluted politics. I'm impressed." Bhelen's smile grew fractionally. "What do you know about the Carta?"

"I know that it's one of the only ways that the casteless survive here, seeing as they 'don't exist'." She replied.

"When they stayed in Dust Town it was fine, but now they're in the Commons, harassing hard-working merchants. I can't expect the Assembly to crown me king if I allowed such lawlessness."

"If you can't allow it, then why hasn't something been done about it already?"

"None of the casteless will speak to my men. If you spoke to them, however, they might prove to be more talkative."

"What exactly is it that you want from me?"

"If you can eliminate or stop the Carta, I will be one step closer to the throne." Bhelen stated, and Ildri frowned slightly.

"I make no promises. There's no guarantee that they'll even speak with us."

"I can't ask for more than that." Bhelen allowed. "But remember: I cannot help you unless I am on the throne. For every minute you delay, more of the 'spawn reach the surface."

* * *

><p>Ildri returned to the Warden's Hall to wait for the others. Morrigan was the only one of her companions still there. The witch lounged in one of the chairs at the dining table, and sat up when she saw Ildri.<p>

"Ildri, I… there is something that I must ask of you."

"What do you need?" Ildri sat down beside her.

"Do you recall the grimoire that you gave me when you returned from the Circle Tower? I told you then that it was my mother's."

"Yeah, and you said that you were surprised that I'd picked it up."

"It is the sole item that the Templars ever took from her. When she realized that it was gone, she was enraged. I had thought that having this would grant me knowledge of things she never intended for me. I was not wrong, but it was not what I thought it was." Morrigan laid the book on the table.

"What do you mean?" Ildri asked, and Morrigan's eyes met hers.

"What do you know of Flemeth?"

"I know that there are a lot of old stories surrounding the name." Ildri shrugged. "I never paid much attention."

"Many centuries ago, before this land was named Ferelden, Flemeth was young and beautiful. The desire of any man who laid eyes upon her. This is where the stories diverge: as the bards tell it, Flemeth was wed to Lord Conobar of Highever. She then fell in love with a bard, and the pair fled. However, my mother claims that she was wed to the bard. Conobar approached the young bard, Osen, and offered him wealth and power in exchange for his wife, and he agreed." Ildri rose her brows, but held her tongue. "However, Conobar bargained with coin he did not possess. Osen was slain, and Flemeth conversed with spirits and learned of the deed, and she swore revenge. The spirit aided her in slaying Conobar and his men, and she fled. Conobar's allies chased her to the Wilds, where she hid. In the Wilds she found the demon, who made her strong."

"Your mother told you all that? That she's possessed by a demon?"

"No, not as such. With what she did tell me I was able to infer a great deal."

"So if that's really her, from the stories, how has she been alive for so long?" Ildri asked. Morrigan let out a breath and rubbed her forehead.

"We come to the crux of the matter." She murmured before lowering her hand. "This grimoire," she gestured towards it, "details how, precisely, she has survived for so very long."

"It's bad, isn't it?" It was more a statement than a question.

"Flemeth has, according to legend, raised many daughters throughout the years. I have never seen a one, and oft wondered why. Mother would only tell me to not believe all that I am told when I asked, and I eventually stopped. According to _that_," she pointed at the book, "they are _all_ Flemeth. After living in one body for a time, she raises a daughter. After many years and long training, she then takes the body for her own."

"So… she possesses them? Like a demon would?"

"'Tis similar enough, for lack of anything else to call it. As I stated before, she is an abomination, and demon or no, her body will not sustain her forever. She must find a new host eventually. I…" she swallowed and looked away. "I am to be the next host, in a very long line." She looked like she was going to be sick. "I should have known. I cannot believe that I had no notion, no _inkling,_ of what she had planned for me. I was a fool not to suspect something." Morrigan's hands clenched into fists in her lap.

"Are you kidding me? How were you supposed to know? She's been doing this for _centuries_. She's had a lot of practice at being, you know, not suspicious."

"That is meant to comfort me, I suppose?" Morrigan sneered half-heartedly. Ildri sighed and shook her head.

"So if you're so important, why would she send you with us? It's not like fighting the Blight is safe."

"I have a number of theories. Perhaps the Blight threatens her as much as any other. Perhaps she believes that I will become more powerful. According to her writings, if the… _host_ is powerful and trained in magic, it takes far less time for Flemeth to acclimatize."

"I'm sorry." Ildri murmured. She leaned forward and put a hand on Morrigan's shoulder.

"Do not be _sorry_." Morrigan snapped, shrugging away. "I am not _sorry._ I am _angry._"

"I meant, 'I'm sorry the woman who raised you is such a bitch.' If I was sitting where you are, I'd be pretty pissed too." Ildri told her. "So. What do you plan to do about it?"

"I will not sit about like an empty sack waiting to be filled. Flemeth needs to die, and I need your aid if I wish it to happen." Morrigan stated, and Ildri nodded.

"What do you need me to do?"

"You must go to the Korcari Wilds and slay her. I cannot come with you. If she is slain whilst I am near, she may be able to simply take possession right there."

"Can you at least give me an idea of what to expect?" Ildri asked.

"Flemeth taught me what I know, other than the magics I learned within the elven temple. Expect what you see me use in battle, and more. I do not know what other magics she may have at her disposal. 'Tis evident that she has not taught me all that she knows." Morrigan glared over at the grimoire.

"We can't leave Orzammar yet, seeing as we just got here. I'll head for the Wilds as soon as I can." Ildri promised.

"There is one other thing. You must retrieve her true grimoire. I do not know if there is a way to defend myself against her in the future, but if a way exists, the grimoire will tell me." Ildri sat upright in her chair, brows furrowing.

"Wait, you don't think she'll die when we kill her?"

"I do not know if she truly can be slain. Her host can die, obviously, or she would not need another. As for her essence, or soul – whichever name you wish to give it – I simply do not know." Morrigan elaborated.

"Well. That could be annoying." Ildri's frown deepened. "I'll make sure to get it for you when I go."

"Thank you." Morrigan let out a breath and leaned back in her chair. Ferika brought the two of them lunch, and they were nearly done by the time the rest of their companions had all arrived. Nadia and Zevran had heard a great deal, but a lot of it was stuff that they had already heard from Ferika.

"You know about Bhelen's second brother, the one who was sent to the Deep Roads?" Nadia asked. Ildri nodded. "There's a noble hunter who says that her son is his."

"Is there any way to know for sure?" Ildri asked.

"If she was knocked up just before he was exiled, then the kid's the right age for it." Nadia replied. "He – Duran, I mean – was exiled before the kid was born, so that makes him casteless."

"I wonder if Bhelen knows." Ildri mused. "Don't the nobles need all the children they can get?"

"Yeah. I don't know if he knows about the kid. You'd have to ask him."

"Speaking of asking nobles, how was your morning?" Ildri looked over at Sten and Loghain.

"Harrowmont refused to see us." Loghain informed her. "His lieutenant, or whatever they're called here, barely gave us the time of day. Apparently you were seen entering the palace. And yes, before you ask, I did say that you and I were having a disagreement about who to support. He was slightly more helpful after that. Barely."

"Did he tell you what you'd have to do to earn his trust?" Ildri asked.

"Fight in Harrowmont's name in a Proving." He replied.

"That's not exactly a small thing to ask someone to do." Nadia said, drawing Ildri's attention. "That's basically swearing yourself to him."

"Considering Bhelen actually talked to me himself, I like him better already." Ildri leaned back in her chair. "But you might not like what he wants us to do."

"What's that?" Nadia asked.

"He wants us to kill the Carta." Ildri replied, and Nadia's face paled. "That's what I thought. You've probably got quite a few friends still there. With a little help from you, though, I'm pretty sure that I can keep both you and Bhelen happy."

"What do you mean?"

"Cut the head off the snake and it dies. If we kill Jarvia, the Carta will fall apart. Probably long enough to get this bullshit in Orzammar finished. That way, the Carta's not 'harassing honest merchants', but most of them live." Nadia gave Ildri a small smile.

"When Beraht was in charge, there was a shop down in the Commons that he used as a front. It had a secret entrance right into his base. I'm willing to bet that she's using the same base."

"Good. Do you think we can get in through there?"

"Yeah. Jarvia's casteless, so without Beraht, she can't use the shop. It might be owned by a relatively honest merchant now."

"This just keeps getting better. We should swing by Dust Town anyway; Bhelen's probably got men watching our movements. And you might have people you want to see down there. A few more hours of free time, then a few of us will head down. Nadia, Zevran, Sten, and Wynne, you're with me. Loghain and Morrigan, you're free to do pretty much whatever you want." Ildri looked around the table, and the others voiced their agreement.

"I have one thing I would like to add." Wynne spoke up. "There is a young dwarven woman by the name of Dagna who wishes to go to the Circle."

"And?" Ildri asked.

"When we leave, I would like to stop at the Circle Tower and see if Irving is willing to take her."

"Did you promise the girl you'd do it?"

"I promised to do my best. That was all." Wynne said, and Ildri shrugged.

"I can't promise that we'll go immediately to the Circle after we leave. I made another, more important promise that I must see through. But I'll see what I can do." Wynne nodded, seemingly mollified for the moment.

* * *

><p>Ildri finally got a chance to check out the merchants in the Commons. A few things caught her eye, but she didn't want to buy anything just yet. When the designated 'free time' was up, she headed towards the Dust Town entrance, Barkspawn hot on her heels. Nadia, Zevran, Sten and Wynne were waiting for her.<p>

"Maker's blessing on you, brothers and sisters." Ildri turned towards the voice, seeing a red-haired, beardless dwarf wearing Chantry robes, of all things.

"Most of us aren't very religious." Ildri commented with a smirk. "Sorry." The dwarf's face fell.

"Oh… you look as if you come from the surface. I thought perhaps you were raised in the way of the Chantry."

"I was, and Wynne would have been," she gestured towards the mage, "but I can't speak for Zevran."

"There was little concern for immortal souls in my organization, Warden." Zevran confirmed. Ildri rolled her eyes at the title.

"I'm Brother Burkel, of the Redcliffe Chantry, returned to my ancestors' land to spread the Chant of Light." The dwarf explained. "I'm petitioning to open a Chantry in Orzammar."

"I bet that's going over well." Nadia scoffed.

"There is… resistance." Burkel allowed, shaking his head. "It's obvious the world wasn't created by the mortal souls who dwell within it, but Orzammar persists in worshipping its Paragons and forefathers, instead of the Maker."

"Let them worship whatever they like. The Qun is the only way to enlightenment." Sten growled.

"If that's the truth, then he'll come to it in time." Ildri stated, looking over at the giant.

"Perhaps." Sten mused. "Each must find his own way to the truth."

"Are you saying you will help?" Burkel asked, smiling broadly.

"What in the Void gave you that idea?" Ildri scoffed. "I was speaking to Sten, not you." Ildri turned to leave, then stopped. "Have you heard about what happened to Redcliffe yet?"

"What do you mean? What happened?" Burkel asked, his eyes widening.

"There was… a slight case of demonic possession, and most of the townsfolk are dead. I'm sorry." Ildri explained softly. The dwarf recoiled as though she'd hit him.

"By the St… the Maker." He corrected himself, shaking his head. "If you'll excuse me." Burkel left, entering the nearby tavern. Ildri waited until the doors closed behind him before heading down the stairs to Dust Town.

"Aha! I smell a seedy underbelly, warts and all!" Zevran declared. Nadia scoffed and shook her head. Ildri frowned as she looked around. There were numerous dwarves sitting out in the 'street', all bearing the same mark upon their cheeks that Nadia did. They all looked underfed and wore old, torn, and ill-fitting clothes. Ildri could smell bodily waste and rotting flesh.

"Maker's saggy _balls_." Ildri spat. "Even the damned Alienage was better than this."

"I'd say 'I told you so,' but…" Nadia shrugged. "Not really worth it." Nadia led them further down the tunnel in silence. Ildri kept an eye on her fellow Warden, trying to guess at what she might be feeling. She was distracted from that as Nadia came to a sudden halt. "Is that…" Nadia leaned forward slightly. "Leske!" Ildri picked up her pace as Nadia ran down the tunnel. She stopped in front of a dark-haired dwarf and clapped him on the shoulder.

"I never thought I'd see you back here again." The other dwarf said, wearing a small smile. "What happened, duster? You miss getting spit on?"

"Nothing like that. I'm… we're here to take care of some business." Nadia thumbed over her shoulder at Ildri and the others. "How've you been?"

"I've been worse." Leske shrugged, looking them over. "That's quite the crowd for taking care of some business, Nadia."

"Carta business, Leske." Nadia clarified. The other dwarf nodded.

"I figured as much. Those upstairs don't give a shit about us until someone starts making trouble for them."

"Since you're still down here, can you tell me anything about how the show's being run now?" Nadia asked.

"Once we killed Beraht, Jarvia didn't waste a day. She killed all of her competitors and made a deal with Beraht's topside family – claimed to be his wife – to keep the trade flowing." Ildri narrowed her eyes at the dwarf. "Endrin's death changed things. All of a sudden the guardsmen were all busy up in the Diamond Quarter, and Jarvia moved right in."

"I take it you're not with her anymore." Nadia mused.

"Stone, no! D'you think she'd welcome me with open arms after we took down her lover?" Leske asked. "You and me talked about taking over, you think she can't _smell_ that?" Nadia let out a chuckle.

"It's just odd that you're down here. You know Rica'd welcome you, claim that you were some kind of cousin or something." Leske shook his head.

"That's not for me, girl. I'd probably end up like your old lady." Nadia looked away for a moment. "Speaking of your old lady, once Rica was gone Jarvia had the Carta claim your old home."

"How do you know that?" Nadia asked.

"I snuck in to see if she'd left anything behind, to be honest." Leske admitted. "They scared the shit outta me coming in, but I saw what they did. They put in a back entrance. I don't know for sure where it leads. Once they left I damn near followed them out the door."

"You figure it leads to Beraht's old estate?" Nadia asked.

"It's as good a guess as any." Leske agreed. "But I better get outta here. Find me later, tell me how it turned out." Nadia nodded and clasped Leske's arm before he slipped away. Ildri stepped forward to stand beside Nadia.

"So how do you want to do this?" She asked quietly.

"Let's go and check out my old place." She nodded further down the tunnel. "But we need to be careful. There's something he didn't tell us."

"Those were my thoughts, too." Ildri agreed. "This is still your show, Nadia. Lead on."

Nadia was cursing as they made their way back up to the Commons.

"I never thought the little fucker would sell me out!" She fumed.

"For all we know, those ones saw you talking to him and are just trying to piss you off." Ildri reasoned.

"Explain the lack of a back entrance, then." Nadia shot back. "We're not far from Beraht's old shop." Nadia nodded up the street, changing the subject. They entered the shop, and Ildri distracted the man behind the counter as Nadia and Zevran poked around. Ildri was looking at a replacement sword when she heard a noise from the direction the other two rogues had gone.

"I'll just be a moment." She told the man, laying the blade down on the counter. She hadn't taken two steps before Nadia came running, a broad smile on her face.

"Found it!" The dwarf crowed.

"Were you looking for something in particular, then?" The merchant asked, peering over the counter.

"Did you know that your store connects to the Carta's base of operations?" Ildri asked the man. She had to hold back laughter at his expression.

"Of course not! I'm not connected to them! No offense, Warden." He added, shooting a worried glance Nadia's way.

"None taken." She smirked at him.

"You can't tell anyone this, I'll be ruined! Please, I'll give you a discount on anything you want, but don't mention this to anyone." He pleaded.

"Does this discount apply to only us, or all of the Wardens and our companions?" Ildri asked.

"It will apply to anyone who comes in with the Wardens, I swear to the Ancestors." Wynne scoffed, but Ildri ignored her.

"You have a deal. I'll take that sword, by the way." She, Nadia, and Zevran made a few purchases. Ildri replaced her old sword and bought a second one to match it. Her off-hand dagger was strapped to her left thigh, balancing her mother's old dagger, which had been strapped to her right. Sten needed nothing, not with his dragon bone armour and Asala, and seeing as Wynne was a mage, the store held nothing of use to her. Barkspawn sat patiently at the now-open door that Nadia had revealed, waiting for the rest of them. When the rogues were ready, the six of them pressed on. Once the merchant was out of earshot, Wynne began to scold Ildri.

"That was unnecessary, young lady. You didn't need to frighten the poor man. I heard about the dragon in the Frostbacks, and I know that you're not hurting for coin." Ildri stopped and turned to look at the mage.

"Right now we're not. But I have no idea how much all the things I asked Riordan to get put together for me in Denerim are going to cost, and I can't expect Alistair and Andreina to bear the brunt of our costs, Blight or no. They also have a kingdom to run."

"You still didn't need to scare him so." Wynne chastised, frowning down at Ildri.

"_I_ didn't do anything. _He_ offered, of his own free will. All I did was accept his offer. Now, if you're quite finished, we have a job to do." Ildri walked away from the woman, falling in beside Nadia. The dwarf rolled her eyes up at her, and Ildri smiled in return. _If she doesn't like what I do, she doesn't have to stick around._ They didn't get very far down the hall before they encountered a large door. "What d'you think?" Ildri looked over at Nadia and Zevran.

"This is a very expensive lock." Zevran commented, studying it. "It will take some time to pick it."

"It looks like the hinges are on our side." Ildri pointed out.

"That they are." The assassin agreed. "It does not appear that they have been maintained, however. If we were to loosen them, we would lose the element of surprise."

"Wynne, would you be able to melt the hinges? Then the door would just fall, right?"

"I am capable of that." The mage agreed, folding her arms across her chest. She made no moves towards the door, however.

"_Will_ you melt the hinges?" Ildri asked, holding back a sigh.

"Very well." She acquiesced, unfolding her arms and stepping forward. Carrying her staff in one hand, she raised the other and flames poured from her palm. The metal began to run and drip down the frame. "Warden, you _do_ know that dwarves are resistant to magic, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Ildri rolled her eyes at the woman's back.

"Then I'm surprised that you decided to bring me along at all." Wynne admitted. "While it does seem that I am useful to you after all, I wonder why you didn't decide to bring along… the _other_ Warden." She still had a hard time referring to Loghain by name, then.

"Morrigan is a shit healer. I'm guessing that beyond this door are the best fighters that Jarvia has at her command. If they're half as skilled as Nadia here is, this probably won't be an easy fight. Which reminds me," Ildri knelt in front of Barkspawn, who was sitting near her feet, "I need you to stick close to Wynne. I don't want anyone sneaking up on our healer. Got it?" Barkspawn _whuffed_ quietly and moved to sit near Wynne. Ildri nodded and rose to her feet.

"I have always been amazed by the mental capabilities of mabari hounds." Wynne lowered her hand and stepped back, Barkspawn following closely. Ildri turned towards Sten and gestured towards the door.

"Care to do the honours?" She asked, smiling up at him. Sten nodded and stepped forward. He kicked down the door and led the way into the room. Looking around, Ildri saw almost a dozen dwarves scattered around the room. Most of them were on the far side of the room, with two standing almost in the middle of the room. Taking another look, Ildri sighed internally when she recognized Leske.

"I wasn't expecting _that_ entrance." The dwarf beside Leske spoke.

"Jarvia, I presume?" Ildri asked.

"Like that's a hard one." Jarvia scoffed. "You must be the Wardens, along with our little runaway." She sneered towards Nadia.

"We're just here for Jarvia. None of the rest of you have to stay if you don't want to." Ildri raised her voice, making sure that all of the dwarves heard her.

"Any of you so much as _thinks_ of leaving, you're dead." Jarvia snarled.

"Not if we kill you first." Nadia stated. "We're working towards putting Bhelen on the throne. He wants to _change_ things. He wants to marry my sister! A casteless noble-hunter, sitting on the throne next to the king of Orzammar!" A few dwarves nudged closer to the door. Jarvia didn't appear to notice.

"You really believe that load of shit?" Leske scoffed, shaking his head. "You must be sky-brained, 'cause you weren't this stupid when you left." Nadia glared at him.

"What made you betray me, Leske? We were _friends!_ Rica would've taken care of you! You didn't have to go back to this!"

"Who do you think suggested going after you?" Jarvia spoke before Leske could. "Leske here's been licking my feet to gain favour ever since you crawled out from under Beraht's corpse. When he heard you were in town, he finally had a way to prove his loyalty." Nadia blanched and said nothing. "Kill them!"

* * *

><p>When Jarvia and her men were dead, Ildri looked over at Nadia. Tears shone in her eyes.<p>

"Stupid idiot duster." She sighed. "He didn't have to come back to this."

"I'm sorry, Nadia." Ildri put a hand on her shoulder.

"Not your fault." Nadia cleared her throat and looked up. "Let's look around. There's gotta be something valuable down here." Most of what they found was rather uninteresting.

"Warden, you may wish to see this." Zevran was looking through some of Jarvia's papers. "This seems to suggest that the rumours surrounding Bhelen are true." Ildri took them, looking through them quickly. Her reading skills still weren't as good as they could be.

"That Bhelen had his oldest brother murdered, and the second one framed?" She asked, and the assassin nodded. "Well. We can't let this get into the wrong hands, can we?" Ildri looked over at Wynne. "Can we have some fire?" Wynne, on the other side of the room, hadn't heard their conversation, and lit a fire with no complaint. "Anything important gets burned. We need the Carta to stay out of business as long as possible." The pages detailing Bhelen's part in the scheme were the first to go. Nadia looked around glumly.

"The casteless are going to be hungry for a while." She commented.

"But they'll be _alive_. This was much better than what Bhelen wanted us to do. And if he changes everything the way he says he will, it won't be for long."

They made their way back up to the Diamond Quarter, with nearly everyone going back into the Warden's Hall. Ildri, Nadia, Zevran and Barkspawn continued on to the Palace. Nadia and Zevran broke off once inside, and Ildri assumed that they were going to find Rica. Ildri and Barkspawn went to see Bhelen.

"So. Jarvia is slain, along with her lieutenants." Bhelen said as Ildri entered the room.

"Yes. We also burned any papers we found in her office area. The longer it takes for the Carta to recover, the better." Ildri wasn't the best at reading people, but she was sure that he let out a small breath at hearing that. "Now, do you have enough support for the crown?"

"Not quite…."

"Fucking Bhelen!" Ildri had held her peace until she entered the Warden's Hall. "Smarmy fucking bastard!"

"What's wrong?" Nearly all of her companions were seated at the table, outside of Nadia and Zevran.

"We have to track down a fucking Paragon now. Last anyone heard from her was over two years ago, before she fucked off into the Deep Roads." Ildri growled, sitting down at the table.

"He's sent you after Branka, then." Ferika stated.

"What can you tell me about her?" Ildri asked.

"Brilliant young woman. She developed a smokeless coal that allowed the Smith caste increase their output, but it also decreased deaths from black-lung. Her husband should still be in the city somewhere, and he might be able to tell you more."

"Wait, I was told that she took her entire House into the Deep Roads. Why would her husband still be here?" Ildri asked, frowning.

"I wouldn't be able to tell you. They were married about a year before she was declared a Paragon, and she soon after absorbed his House into her own. These are things that anyone one the street could tell you, however. I don't know that anyone outside of Oghren himself could tell you more."

"Red-haired man with a braided beard?" Loghain cut in, and Ferika nodded. "The Sten and I saw him in the Diamond Quarter. Drunk and trying to talk someone into looking for the Paragon. I hadn't known that the woman was his wife, however."

"Is he drunk often?" Ildri asked the Hall Mistress.

"The more appropriate question would be 'how often is he sober'. He began drinking before Branka left, and it only became worse once she did. He accidentally killed a young man in a first-blood fight, and has been barred from bearing weapons in Orzammar. For a Warrior caste, that's worse than exile."

"Wonderful. We have to somehow find a probably dead Paragon, and our only lead is her drunk husband." Ildri sighed, her face in her hands. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll track this guy down. I'm going to bed. When Zevran and Nadia show up let them know what's happening."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry that this has taken so long. I hate Orzammar. God. Deep Roads are next. <strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Read 'The Stolen Throne', just to make sure I didn't make any mistakes. **

**Also, thank you to olivebgb and Alpenwolf for the reviews! **

* * *

><p>They didn't have to go very far to find Oghren. In fact, he was waiting for Ildri the next morning just outside of the Warden's Hall.<p>

"So you're one of the Wardens, eh?" He leered, looking her over. Ildri folded her arms across her chest.

"I am Ildri, the Warden-Commander. Are you Oghren?"

"Aye. I heard that you're looking for Branka." Ildri narrowed her eyes. "Your Hall Mistress sent a message my way."

"All right. We are. What do you want?"

"I can tell you what Bhelen doesn't know. All anyone else knows is that Branka disappeared into the Deep Roads, not what she was looking for. Or that she was looking for anything at all."

"So what was she looking for?" Ildri asked.

"The Anvil of the Void. Was used for making golems, and she figured Orzammar needed it."

"I'm guessing it's not going to be easy to find, if she's not back yet." Ildri commented. "I have maps that lead through Aeducan thaig and to Caridin's Cross. Do you think you can get us further than that?"

"Aye. Branka left, but she didn't take all of her notes with her. She must've wrangled a bunch of maps from the Legion, because it looks like they go just about all the way to Bownammar."

"I didn't understand half of what you just said, but you can come along. Just know that if we end up lost and dying in the Deep Roads because your maps were wrong, I'll kick your ass." Oghren laughed.

"I can live with that." Ildri brought him back inside and introduced him to the others.

"I don't think that all of us should go into the Deep Roads." Ildri stated. "As non-Wardens, most of you have no resistance to the taint. Oghren is definitely coming, as should at least one mage."

"What were you thinking?" Loghain asked.

"Well, all of the Wardens, for sure." She began.

"The Arishok sent me to learn of the Blight. That would include where the darkspawn make their home." Sten cut in.

"All right, looks like he's coming, too." Ildri nodded to him. Zevran, Wynne and Morrigan also made arguments for coming along. "It's not safe!" Ildri argued.

"No part of this journey has been _safe_." Morrigan scoffed. "I will not remain here like a _child._"

"You know what? Fine! Fuck it! Any of you comes down with Blight sickness, don't come crying to me." Ildri snapped. She headed down the hall to collect her gear. Once she was ready, she returned to see that the others were ready as well. She shook her head and walked past them, not saying anything. _All I wanted to do was try and keep some of these idiots of mine safe._

* * *

><p>It was easy to lose track of time in the Deep Roads, even though Ildri continued to write in her journal. There was very little schedule down there. Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, and so on. There was a bit of fighting mixed in here and there – mostly deepstalkers and spiders for the first while. They were passing through the Aeducan thaig after what Ildri figured was at least a week below ground. They found a handful of dwarves from Orzammar there and sent them back. Nadia gave their leader a handful of paperwork, but Ildri didn't ask about it. She knew that the other Warden wouldn't act against Bhelen, and by extension, her own sister.<p>

* * *

><p>Just as they were leaving Aeducan thaig they encountered their first darkspawn in the Deep Roads. Oghren charged headlong into the fray, leaving a fuming Ildri in his wake. Once the 'spawn were dead, Ildri chewed out their newest companion.<p>

"You need to _wait_! What if there had been more of them than you thought? Or a fucking ogre? You're the only one who knows where we're going!" She reached out and tugged on the scarf around his neck, meant to be pulled over his nose and mouth. "And I see that you completely forgot about this. If you get Blight sickness, _we have no way to save you._ That's why we gave you this! You need to cover your mouth before running into this shit!" Ildri turned her glare on the other non-Wardens, each with their own scarves as well. "I hope I won't have to address _that_ issue again." That 'night' – when they made camp, at least – Loghain approached Ildri.

"I have been to Ortan Thaig before." He stated. "During the Rebellion."

"I'm surprised that this is the first I'm hearing of this." Ildri replied, raising a brow.

"Until that dwarf mentioned it, I didn't know that it was on our route." He answered.

"What can you tell me of it?" She asked. "Oh, sit down. You tower over me when we're both standing, never mind when I'm sitting." Loghain nodded and lowered himself to the ground.

"Full of spiders. We burned the webs we found, but we knew we didn't kill them all. It's been thirty years since then, so I wouldn't be surprised if the spiders were just as prolific now as they were then."

"What were you doing in the Deep Roads during the Rebellion?" Ildri pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"Long story short; Rowan, Maric, one other and I found ourselves separated from our army. We needed to return to Gwaren, and going through the Deep Roads was our best bet."

"They open up near Gwaren?" Ildri repeated, frowning.

"I couldn't tell you how to get there below ground. I found the entrance above ground and had it sealed with help from a few surface dwarves."

"So you've fought darkspawn before? Before Ostagar, I mean."

"We didn't encounter any in Ortan thaig itself, but we fought quite a few once we left. Thankfully, we were found by the Legion of the Dead."

"By the what?" She frowned over at him again.

"Dwarves who have left Orzammar for some reason – most of them to regain honour for their Houses or families, or to pay off a debt – to fight darkspawn until their deaths. You'll not often see them in Orzammar, unless they've returned for supplies."

"That's all you know about them?" Ildri pressed.

"They don't say much to surfacers. I know that they have a funeral of some sort with their families before they join the Legion. We might meet some of them down here, and maybe they'll be more willing to share information with Wardens than random travellers."

"Do you remember much about the thaig itself? Other than the spiders?" Loghain turned away for a moment, seemingly lost in thought.

"There was fresh water where we stayed. It was dark, and eerily quiet. The only living things we met inside the thaig were the spiders. They seemed to eat the darkspawn, and appeared to be hunted by them in turn."

"Well, that's more information than I had ten minutes ago. Thank you." Loghain nodded once and rose to his feet, leaving Ildri alone in the near-dark.

* * *

><p>Caridin's Cross was large, convoluted, and didn't have nearly the amount of darkspawn Ildri had expected. She pointed this out to Nadia.<p>

"They must be gathering for a push onto the surface." She opined. After a few days of wandering through Caridin's Cross, they found the way to Ortan Thaig. Ildri asked Loghain and Oghren to lead the way through there, seeing as they had the most experience in the area.

"You weren't kidding about the _shit-ton_ of fucking _spiders_ here." Ildri informed Loghain, after they killed the queen.

"I didn't want us to be taken by surprise," was his response.

"If anything, I expected _more_." Nadia commented.

"This is a much better surprise than we usually get." Ildri pointed out. "I can live with this kind of a surprise." They had all spread out, looking for something that might tell them where they needed to go next. Oghren found an old diary of Branka's, detailing her journey and their plans to continue into Bownammar. Oghren was ecstatic; this was the first sign that Branka herself had made it that far.

"We need to keep moving." Oghren stated.

"We can't push too hard. I'd rather we all make it to the end in one piece, thank you very much." Ildri shot back. "We'll rest here for a while and then keep going." The others seemed to appreciate Ildri's decision and they all sat down. Oghren didn't argue, but he didn't appear to be as appreciative as the others were.

* * *

><p>They found Bownammar, otherwise known as the Dead Trenches.<p>

"Does anyone else hear that?" Zevran asked, looking around. Nadia had been twitchy for the past hour, and Ildri suspected she knew why. There was an itching along the base of her skull, as though something was crawling inside her head. The further down the tunnels they went, the more the feeling increased.

"I can hear something, but I can't tell what it is." Ildri told Zevran.

"Can you feel it?" Nadia asked quietly, coming up beside Ildri.

"Yes. Maker, is this what Ostagar felt like to you?" The dwarf shook her head.

"This is _much_ worse than Ostagar was." The pair of women looked over at Loghain. He didn't appear to have noticed it yet.

"It would have to be, if you've felt it this far away." Ildri rubbed her arms, shivers running down her spine. They came around a corner and found themselves in a large, cavernous space. There was a bridge running across a chasm a couple hundred feet away from them. Light could be seen coming out of the chasm itself. "Does this run over a river of lava?" Ildri asked, looking over at Oghren.

"No. Big empty pit, runs for miles." He shook his head.

"That cannot be. There is obviously something down there." Morrigan countered. Ildri glanced down at Nadia. The other Warden's teeth were clenched, as though she was in actual pain. _The darkspawn. That has to be where they are._ Slowly, Ildri began walking towards the lip of the chasm. Almost at the edge, she stopped and looked down. From one end to the other, all she could see was darkspawn. The light reflected along the chasm's walls was from darkspawn torches and mage-fire.

"There's got to be hundreds of them. _Thousands._" Nadia murmured beside her. "How the _fuck_ are we supposed to stop that?"

"We don't have to stop them all, remember?" Ildri reassured her, though she was thinking much the same thing herself. "Just the Archdemon."

"They must be getting ready to go to the surface." Loghain commented from her other side. The non-Wardens in their party had made their way to the edge to look as well. Ildri heard something and cocked her head to try and catch the sound again. She was sure she'd heard it somewhere before. When she placed the sound her eyes widened and she spun to face her companions.

"Get back from the edge! Now!" She waved one arm at them in a shoo-ing gesture and grabbed Nadia's shoulder with the other. Not two heartbeats afterwards, a dragon flew down the cavern. The Archdemon itself. It landed on the bridge, shrieking and spitting out gouts of purple flames. The darkspawn below began to march.

"You were not wrong." Morrigan commented, and Ildri looked over at her. "The Archdemon is far larger than the high dragon was."

* * *

><p>After lending their blades to the Legion of the Dead soldiers, they continued on their way. Between broken bridges, barred and inoperable doors, and the darkspawn themselves, it took what felt like ages to make any kind of progress into Bownammar. There seemed to be more 'spawn in the Trenches than anywhere else in the Deep Roads, so far. Some of the darkspawn Emissaries even seemed to be some manner of necromancer, from the number of undead and walking skeletons that they encountered. It was days before they saw something other than themselves that wasn't darkspawn.<p>

"_First day they come and catch everyone."_

Ildri paused and cocked her head to one side.

"Am I the only one who heard that?" She looked over at her companions. Zevran and Sten nodded, while Nadia, Oghren, and the three humans shook their heads. Barkspawn growled quietly, and Ildri assumed that he'd also heard the voice. Ildri waited for a few moments, and when she heard nothing else, she gestured for everyone to continue.

"_Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat." _

"I heard it that time." Loghain spoke, looking around and hefting his blade.

"We don't know who or what this is. It's probably not darkspawn, but we still need to be careful." Ildri stated, drawing her own blades. It was too tiring to always carry them, but with three Wardens in the group, there was very little within the Deep Roads that could ambush them.

"_Third day, the men are all gnawed on again."_

It was almost a relief to come upon a small group of darkspawn. Killing them helped to relieve the building tension, but only temporarily.

"_Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate."_

"Something tells me that this little rhyme does not have a happy ending." Zevran forced a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"_Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn."_

Ildri's eyes widened and she looked over at Nadia, a pit forming in her stomach.

"Do you think this might be…?" She trailed off, seemingly unable to finish her sentence.

"I don't know." Ildri replied, just as quietly. Loghain's eyes narrowed as he looked at the two women, but he said nothing.

"_Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams."_

Ildri concentrated, reaching out with her Warden senses. She could feel Nadia and Loghain, and even Barkspawn nearby. Farther ahead was something Tainted, but she couldn't tell what it was.

"_Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew." _

"Do you know what is being spoken of?" Morrigan asked, walking up beside Ildri.

"I think so. I don't know for sure what else it could be."

"What is it? Some manner of darkspawn?" The witch demanded.

"_Eighth day, we hated as she is violated."_

"Well, that settles it." Nadia murmured, looking rather green. Ildri nodded her agreement.

"Just after Riordan found us, he took the three of us aside to explain a lot of Warden things that Duncan hadn't had the chance to explain himself." Ildri began, and Morrigan nodded, looking impatient. "One of them was something that I don't think many people even stop to think about, which is _how do the darkspawn make more darkspawn?_ The ones that people normally fight anywhere are seemingly male, but everything needs something female to be able to reproduce."

"What does that have to do with what we are hearing?" Wynne asked.

"Everything." Ildri answered. "_We_ are how they reproduce. They take women from the surface and… force themselves on them."

"_Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin."_

"So every time some Dwarven lady gets kicked outta Orzammar into the Deep Roads?" Oghren asked, looking sick.

"If she lives, then they turn her into what's called a broodmother." Ildri answered.

"_Now she does feast, as she's become the beast."_

"Wynne, Morrigan, if you get separated from us, you have to do whatever you can to avoid that fate. If I can do anything about it, I promise they won't take you alive." Ildri swore, catching their eyes. "We don't know everything about them, whether Nadia or I can be turned into one of them, or if Wynne can be, because of your age, but I know that I'd rather be dead than have to find out the hard way." This was the first time that a few of them had heard this information, and they needed some time to process it. Once Ildri thought that they'd had enough time, they pressed on. There was a dwarven woman just ahead, obviously Tainted.

"Oghren, do you recognize this woman?" Ildri asked him quietly.

"Looks like Hespith. She's a cousin of mine, was brought into Branka's new house when she was made Paragon." Oghren answered, frowning at the woman. "Didn't expect to see her like this." Ildri grimaced and stepped forward. Hespith's head snapped upwards, and Ildri saw that her eyes were almost completely white, and colour that had once been there no longer visible.

"What is this? An elf?" She scoffed. "Exotic, and impossible. Feeding time brings only kin and clan. I am cruel to myself. You are a dream of strangers' faces and open doors." Hespith spoke about another woman, Laryn. Listening to Hespith, Ildri assumed that there was no helping Laryn. At his wife's name, Oghren stepped closer.

"Branka's alive, then? Have you seen her?" Ildri asked, squatting in front of the dwarf.

"Do not speak of her!" Hespith spat. "I was her captain, her lover, and I couldn't stop her. Didn't stop her. Ancestors forgive me." Ildri rose her brows and looked over at Oghren. He didn't seem to have known that his wife had a 'woman on the side', as it were, and he didn't seem to care.

"Stop her from what? What did she do?"

"I will not speak of her!" Hespith growled. "Of what she did, of what we have become! I will _not_ become what I have seen! Not Laryn, and not Branka!" Hespith pushed past Ildri, knocking her onto the ground. Ildri frowned after the dwarf as she ran away.

"Is Branka one of those broodmother things?" Oghren demanded of Ildri. Sten reached out, assisting Ildri to her feet.

"I can't answer that question. I don't have enough information yet." Ildri tried soothing him, but it didn't help.

"We have to keep moving."

They could still hear Hespith's voice as they continued, painting a picture of the last two years. The area they were in now was less 'normal' then the rest of the Deep Roads had been, if one could use that word to describe a darkspawn-infested pit. Where before it had been hewn and carved stone, it was now flesh-like in colour, and the walls appeared to be slimy in places. Ildri could feel something ahead of them, unlike any other darkspawn she'd felt before. Ildri led the way around the corner and when she saw what was ahead of them she let out a small cry and ducked back around the wall. She covered her mouth with a hand, trying to talk her stomach into keeping her meal down where it belonged.

"Now I see why no one knows anything about broodmothers." Ildri murmured. "They're too fucking big to study." The creature was at least three times Ildri's own height, if she had to guess.

"And they stink." Nadia added, crinkling her nose. "What's the plan?"

"Did I see tentacles on that thing?" Ildri asked. Loghain looked around the corner.

"You did."

"Shit. That thing is fucking _huge._ This isn't gonna be easy." She sighed. "Morrigan, Wynne, stay as far back as you can. Watch each other's backs. This thing might call for reinforcements."

"And the rest of us?" Zevran asked.

"Barkspawn, stay with Wynne and Morrigan. Sten, Loghain, Oghren, we're going to need you guys to get up close and personal. Nadia, Zevran, the three of us are going to need to make general nuisances of ourselves and be support. If this bitch calls for help, that's what we get to take care of. Other than that, do whatever you think will help the most." Ildri took a deep breath and drew her blades. "Gentlemen, if you would be so kind as to lead the way." She gestured to the three warriors. Sten drew his own blade and let out a shout before running into the room. Oghren and Loghain followed next, then the three rogues, and lastly Barkspawn and the two mages. The broodmother let out a harsh cry of her own, and Ildri could feel the approach of other darkspawn.

"There's more on the way!" Nadia warned the non-Wardens.

"That didn't take long," Ildri muttered to herself. When the first of the reinforcements arrived, Ildri was waiting. She swung her blade, nearly taking the first one's head clean off. It fell to the ground, and Ildri launched herself at the next one. It was mostly genlocks near this particular broodmother, for which Ildri was grateful. It was one of the few times Ildri had a height advantage against an opponent, and she took full advantage of it. She heard a pained cry from behind her, and looked over to see Loghain crouching behind his shield as the broodmother spat globs of saliva at him.

"The saliva burns!" He shouted. "Probably poison!" A brave genlock took advantage of Ildri's distraction, hitting her in the face. She cried out in pain and swung her sword in the genlock's direction, catching nothing but air. Her recently-learned Templar senses warned her of magic, but she knew from experience that this was not Wynne or Morrigan casting.

"Emissary!" She hissed in pain. The hit to her face must have been worse than she'd thought. She and Sten were the only two with Templar training, and Sten was occupied with the broodmother. She needed to find the Emissary and put it down.

"Ildri! To your right and behind you!" Nadia called out, and Ildri spun on her heel, swinging her blade. The warning hadn't been what she thought, it was to tell her where the mage was. With a quick gesture, the Emissary was knocked over by Ildri's Holy Smite. It fell once more with a throwing knife in its throat, courtesy of Nadia. A loud cry echoed through the chamber, and Ildri looked towards the broodmother to see Sten's blade through the broodmother's top pair of breasts. Sten drew it back out with a shout and the broodmother slumped forwards. There were a handful of darkspawn left, but they were easily dealt with.

"That's where they come from." Ildri looked upwards and saw Hespith. "That's why they hate us… that's why they need us. That's why they take us… that's why they feed us. But the true abomination is not that it occurred, but that it was _allowed._ Branka… my love…" Hespith shook her head. "The Stone has punished me, dream-friend. I am dying of something worse than death. Betrayal." Hespith turned away, and Ildri heard a soft sound from that direction.

"Atrast tunsha. Totarnia amgetol tavash aeduc." Ildri heard Oghren murmur.

"Warden Ildri!" Wynne called out. "Your face needs healing!"

"Save your mana." Ildri told her, fishing a poultice out of her pack.

"Are you sure? If it's left untreated –" Wynne reached out her hand, and Ildri swatted it away.

"I can deal with the discomfort." She smeared the solution onto her right cheek, and it began to tingle and feel numb. "We should find a place to camp, but I don't think any of us want to try sleeping here. Let's get moving."

* * *

><p>None of the women in their group rested very well that night. The men tried to split the shifts on watch between themselves, but Ildri wouldn't hear of it. But when they insisted that the women sleep in the middle of the group, with the men surrounding them, she allowed it. Ildri, as usual, insisted on taking mid-watch. She didn't bother to re-apply the poultice before trying to sleep, figuring she'd just end up with the solution everywhere. As tired as she was, it didn't take long for her to get to sleep.<p>

_A familiar sound echoed through the cavern, and Ildri sat up as the dragon landed on a nearby rock face. _

—**WHAT THINK YOU OF THE MOTHERS, DOOMED ONE? —**

"_They're ugly as shit, and they stink too." Ildri answered nonchalantly. _

—**MANY OF YOUR KIND FIND THEMSELVES IN SERVICE TO ME IN SUCH A WAY—**

_Ildri shivered. She didn't know if the dragon spoke the truth, or if he was simply trying to get under her skin. _

"_I will do everything that I can to make sure that no one else ever ends up like that." Ildri promised._

—**YOUR WORDS MEAN NAUGHT WHEN YOUR LIFE IS FORFEIT— **

_Something similar to laughter rang through Ildri's head, and she gritted her teeth. _

"_I'm not the only Warden in Ferelden. Even if I do die, I'll make sure that the others know that this needs to be told to everyone. Word will get out, and no more women will travel the Deep Roads, and your kind will die out!"__Urthemiel snorted, steam escaping its nostrils. "Don't like that idea, do you? Stupid Tainted dragon. I think the Taint fucked up what little brains you had left!" She taunted. _

"Kadan!" Ildri didn't think before she grasped the wrist that was touching her and pulled, throwing the person off balance. Her feet came up and kicked into a chest, throwing the person away from her. Then she opened her eyes. Still lying on her back, she tilted her head to look up and saw Sten lying on the ground.

"Oh, shit, that was you?" She felt her cheeks begin to burn. "I'm sorry, I didn't think; I just reacted." Ildri sat up and walked over to Sten to try and help him up, but he was already on his feet. "I'm so sorry."

"I will remember to not wake you in that way in the future." One corner of his lips turned up for a moment.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you?" Ildri stepped closer to him.

"I am unhurt." He answered, nodding. "You should apply more medicine to your wound."

"Damn. I forgot about that." She pulled the poultice out of her pack and rubbed it on her cheek, looking at Sten out of the corner of her eye. In the near-dark of the Deep Roads, his already intimidating figure was made even more so. Some of Ildri's companions had commented from time to time on how odd, intimidating, or different they found him. Ildri, however, had only ever been intrigued by him. "Is it my turn for watch?"

"Not quite. You seemed to be having a… night-fear, I think it is called."

"Just about. Nightmare. Means the same thing, really." Ildri tucked the poultice back in her bag. "The Archdemon doesn't seem to be very impressed with me tonight. That's the first I've heard from him in a long time."

"The beast speaks to you?" Sten asked, and Ildri turned her head to look at him.

"He has since my Joining. No one knows for sure why elves sometimes hear from Archdemons and others might not. At least, Duncan couldn't tell me why."

"He was the leader before you, was he not?"

"Yes, he was." Ildri nodded. Her cheek began to itch beneath the solution, and she sat down and clasped her hands together in front of her. "Was it quiet on watch?" Sten nodded.

"We seem to have eliminated all of the darkspawn in this area."

"I think most of them trailed after Archie when we saw him. I'm told that they're compelled to follow his 'song'. Hopefully, that'll make things easier for us." Sten seemed to be thinking, so Ildri waited for him to speak.

"You had said that the broodmothers are women from all races, used by the darkspawn for breeding." He stated, and Ildri nodded. "The one we fought produces the short ones, humans produce the taller ones, and your kind produces the poison-clawed ones."

"Genlocks, hurlocks, and Shrieks, yes." Ildri confirmed.

"What of the horned ones?" He finally asked, meeting her gaze. "To my knowledge, no Qunari has ever faced darkspawn before. They have never been seen in Par Vollen."

"So how did your Arishok know about the Blight?" Ildri asked, frowning.

"We had been in Orlais. We encountered a group of Grey Wardens at a camp one night, and they made comments on the approaching Blight. They could not explain it to the Arishok's satisfaction, so we few of the Beresaad were tasked with finding the answer."

"Can I ask what you were doing in Orlais?" Ildri asked, her curiosity thoroughly piqued.

"You may, but I cannot answer." He replied, and Ildri pouted.

"Returning to your question, I can't tell you much about the ogres. That's what we call them. I haven't been a Warden for very long, and neither has Nadia. There's also a distinct lack of reading materials on darkspawn in general. I'm sorry I can't tell you more."

"It is no fault of yours." Sten let out a breath. From anyone else, Ildri would have called it a sigh. "It is the fault of those who came before you." They fell into silence, the small glow-stone provided by the dwarves lighting up a small area behind them.

"We're almost done with this." Ildri murmured. "Finish this, get back to Orzammar, get that stupid asshole crowned, and then back to Denerim." _And then you'll go back home._ There was an ache in Ildri's chest at that thought, making it difficult to breathe.

"I am looking forward to being above ground once more." Sten spoke just as quietly. Ildri only nodded, finding herself rather unable to speak. She blinked rapidly to try and chase away her tears, but a few fell regardless of her efforts. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sten stiffen and turn towards her. "I smell salt." In spite of herself, Ildri let out a small laugh.

"You can _smell_ it?" She asked, and he nodded.

"I can smell a great many things."

"Such as?" She pressed, hoping to distract him.

"I can smell when the dwarven Warden wants the elf. I can smell when one of the women is having her courses. I misliked Dust Town immensely." He scrunched his nose a bit, and Ildri smirked.

"I don't doubt it."

"But I do not understand why you are crying." _So much for distracting him._ Ildri sighed.

"You've become a very good friend. I'm going to miss you when you go back to Seheron." Ildri spoke quickly, not wanting to linger on the subject.

"As I will you, kadan."

* * *

><p>There were no darkspawn sightings through the 'night', and they pressed on in the 'morning'. They didn't encounter a whole lot of darkspawn as they travelled, for which Ildri was grateful. They came to the entrance of what looked like used to be a thaig.<p>

"If Branka is anywhere, this'll be the place." Oghren said, walking up to stand beside Ildri. "She will _not_ be unprepared." Ildri nodded to him. _I just hope she's sane._ She had thought on what Hespith had revealed, and her guess was that Branka had essentially given the women of her House to the darkspawn for some reason. She couldn't imagine why, but she hoped that wasn't the case. Ildri led the way into the next chamber. Once all of them were through, there was a rumble from behind them. "What was that?" Oghren asked, and Ildri spun around.

"A trap of some sort." Ildri looked at the now-closed pathway. "That wasn't an accident."

"Smart girl." A woman spoke from behind her. Turning again, Ildri saw a dwarven woman standing on a wall of rocks, some distance above them.

"Shave my back and call me an elf!" Oghren laughed. "Branka? By the Stone, I barely recognized you!" Branka's lip curled into a sneer.

"Oghren. Figures you'd find your way here _eventually_. Hopefully, you can find your way back more easily." Oghren's face fell at this less-than-friendly greeting. "And how shall I address you? Hired sword of the latest lordling to come looking for me? I hope they paid you well to come traipsing around down here."

"Be respectful, woman!" Oghren shouted, just as Ildri opened her mouth. "You're talking to a Grey Warden!"

"Not just a mercenary, then. I suppose that means something terribly important has happened? Endrin died, didn't he? He was getting old the last time I saw him."

"Yes. Endrin has passed, and the Assembly is deadlocked. Orzammar needs its Paragon." Ildri answered, and Branka scoffed.

"I don't care if they put a drunken nug on the throne." She shook her head. "Our protector, our greatest invention, the one thing that made our armies the envy of the world has been lost to the very darkspawn it should be fighting!"

"The Anvil of the Void." Ildri murmured.

"The Anvil of the Void!" Branka crowed. "It's here, I know it is! It's so close I can _taste_ it."

"But…?" Ildri prompted, and Branka sighed.

"But… the Anvil lies on the other side of a gauntlet of traps designed by Caridin himself. My people and I have given body and soul to unlocking its secrets." Ildri's lip curled as the woman spoke. "_This_ is what's important! If I succeed here, all the dwarven people benefit. Kings and politics are transitory in comparison. I have given _everything_, would sacrifice _anything_, to see that dream realized."

"Who has given everything in this situation? You, or the men and women relying on you for their safekeeping? Women such as Laryn and Hespith?"

"Enough questions!" She snapped, gesturing with her arm. "If you want my involvement in this imbecilic election, I must first have the Anvil. The only way out is forward, Warden… through Caridin's maze, and to where his Anvil waits." Branka smirked and began to walk away.

"What has this place done to you?" Oghren demanded, and his wife stopped. "I remember marrying a girl you could talk to for one minute and see her brilliance!"

"I am your Paragon."

Branka spoke as they worked their way through Caridin's traps, attempting to justify why she handed her people over to the darkspawn.

"I needed people to test Caridin's traps. There was no way through except through trial and error. I sent them in… they were all mine, pledged to be my House, and they didn't want to help. They tried to leave me, even my Hespith…" Branka cleared her throat before continuing. "But even _she_ couldn't understand that when you reach for greatness, there are sacrifices. As many sacrifices as are needed."

"She speaks of sacrifice, while she has made none herself." Morrigan snapped. "So long as it is not she who is harmed, she cares not." They proceeded down the hallway, encountering darkspawn.

"She shouldn't have gone. She was pledged to me. She swore she'd do whatever it took to find the Anvil." Branka continued to speak as they fought. "There was no other choice! Most of them were dying of the Taint already, but some… some of the women were… transforming." Ildri's anger grew as she continued to kill the darkspawn. "I knew what they would become. There would be an endless supply, fresh darkspawn to face Caridin's traps. They could still serve me, let me find the Anvil. It was the only way…" Ildri swung her off-hand sword, impaling a nearby genlock. "You have no idea how they carried on, holding my hand and begging to die. They had pledged me their loyalty! They had no right to fight me."

"You fucking bitch!" Ildri shouted at the woman. "You knew, you fucking _knew_, and you let them come down here? You sentenced them to that fate? I wouldn't wish that fate on _anyone,_ never mind someone who fucking _trusted me!_ You sentenced _your lover_ to that!"

"What else was I supposed to do? Give up?" Branka spat.

"Yeah, maybe! Or go back to Orzammar! Ask for help!"

"Unacceptable." She shook her head. "They say your Order is renowned for its wits as well as its brawn. Perhaps you'll do better than my poor clansmen."

There were three traps that they faced. The first was a room full of poison and golems. Ildri, Nadia, Zevran, and Morrigan ran into the room, closing the pipes that fed poison into the room as quickly as they could, while the rest of the group took care of the golems as they 'woke'. The fastest way to destroy the golems, they found, was to have one of the mages freeze them and then beat them until they shattered. Sometimes it required multiple freezing for a single golem, but they didn't want to spend much time experimenting. The second room had blade traps in the middle of the room. Once they passed or disarmed the traps, the golems along the sides of the walls 'woke'. The third and final trap was the most confusing. There was a machine of sorts in the middle of the room that spat out ghosts, who stood next to anvils. It took some time, but they figured it out. They pressed on to the final chamber, where the object of Branka's obsession awaited. If Ildri had her way, she'd throw the thing over the edge of a cliff somewhere and kill Branka to boot; it was no less than she deserved. The final chamber was lined with stone golems, similar to those that they had encountered before. There was one more, not in line with the others, that stood head and shoulders above the rest, and it appeared to be made of something other than plain stone.

"My name is Caridin." A voice boomed. It took Ildri a moment to place the speaker as the not-stone golem. "Once, longer ago than I care to think, I was a Paragon to the dwarves of Orzammar. If you seek the Anvil, you must care about my story, or be doomed to relive it." Caridin told them the tale of the Anvil's invention, and eventual misuse. "I have sought a way to destroy the Anvil, but I cannot touch it myself. I instead ask you, stranger, to destroy it in my stead."

"No! The Anvil is mine! No one will take it from me!" Branka ran into the chamber, nearly frothing at the mouth. "Don't listen to him! He's been trapped here for a thousand years, stewing in his own madness! Help me reclaim the Anvil, and you will have an army like you've never seen!" Ildri shook her head.

"Branka, you mad, bleeding nug-tail. Does this thing mean so much to you that you can't even see what you've lost to get it?" Oghren asked, trying to reason with her.

"Look around you." Branka gestured with one hand. "Is this what our Empire should look like? Crumbling tunnels filled with darkspawn spume? The Anvil will let us take back our glory!" Ildri looked over at Oghren.

"We can't trust her with this. She's already proven that she can't be trusted with the lives of others." Ildri spoke quietly, so as not to be heard. Oghren caught her eyes, nodded, and then turned away. "I won't let her have it, Caridin."

"Thank you, stranger." Caridin sounded relieved.

"No! You will not take it; not while I still live!" Branka raised her hand, brandishing some sort of metal stick.

"A control rod!" Caridin called out. All of the golems lining the walkway came 'alive', but only half of them answered to Branka. Before the smith paralyzed Caridin, he was able to use a control rod of his own. Wynne and Morrigan each froze a golem, and the battle was joined. Branka knew that Ildri was the leader; she must have thought that if Ildri was killed, she might be able to reason with the others, because she had an annoying tendency to try and flank Ildri. It was too distracting to try and fight a golem in front of her as well as Branka behind her, so she withdrew from the golems and faced Branka on her own. Branka fought dirty, especially for a warrior. She smashed her mace into Ildri's left forearm, shattering the bone and leaving Ildri with only one sword. Ildri let out a cry of pain and brandished her remaining blade.

"So much for the mighty Grey Wardens." Branka chuckled, advancing on Ildri. There was a shout behind Branka, and before she could so much as turn her head, it was separated from her shoulders. Oghren stood over his wife's body, breathing heavily.

"Thank you." Ildri said, and he flinched.

"No need to thank me, Warden." He answered dully.

* * *

><p>With the Anvil of the Void destroyed and Bhelen's new crown in hand, it was time to return to Orzammar. After the ceremony in the Chamber of the Assembly, they learned that they had been in the Deep Roads for three months.<p>

"It sure as shit didn't _feel_ like three months." Ildri groused, standing in the Warden's Hall.

"It doesn't matter what it felt like," Nadia interjected. "If they say it's been three months, then it's been three months."

"Damnit. Loghain, I want you to write up a letter to send to Denerim; they're going to want to know that we're still alive. We've still got a few more stops to make, so we won't be there immediately. Wynne, I want you to go and get that dwarf lady you were talking about, the one who's interested in magic. I don't want to be going back and forth all over the fucking countryside, so she's coming with us, and Irving's gonna take her in. Morrigan, we're heading south as soon as we leave here. Loghain, when you're done with the letter – and a bath – I need to talk travel plans with you. Everyone else is dismissed."

"You want _me_ to write a letter to the capital?" Loghain asked, raising a brow.

"My writing is shit. I want them to receive a _legible_ letter. If you want, I'll add a note at the end so that they know you didn't kill me in my sleep or anything."

"That would be appreciated." He nodded and left the room. Ildri nearly ran down the hall to the baths, so eager she was to be clean. After her bath she returned to her room and studied herself in the mirror, realizing that this was the first time in the better part of a year that she had taken the time to actually stop and look at herself. She had the two small scars from the Tower of Ishal all those months ago, in her shoulder and her thigh. Then came the dragon's teeth scars on her right arm, and the scars from Swiftrunner's teeth along her left shoulder. Lastly were her newly-gained scars – on her right cheek. Ildri hadn't realized that Wynne had been offering to save Ildri's vanity with her magic. Three scars trailed down her right cheek, starting just below her eye. Whatever she had been hit with must have been poisoned, because it had taken nearly three days for the poultices that Ildri had spread across her cheek to begin working. There was a knock on her door and Ildri jumped.

"Who is it?" She asked, picking up the bathing robe and putting it back on.

"It is Sten." Ildri's heart leapt into her throat. The two of them hadn't spoken much since right after the fight with the broodmother.

"Just a moment." She stopped at the mirror and scowled at herself. _It's not like I was worth looking at __**before**__ I got my face clawed half off._ She opened the door and let Sten in. He walked into the room and sat down on the bed while Ildri closed the door.

"I have been thinking about what roles those who travel with us would have under the Qun." He began. "The mages, their roles are clear. They are saarebas." Ildri pursed her lips.

"Okay… what about the rest of us?" She leaned on the wall beside the door.

"The Warden we left behind to be the king, the red dwarf, and the new Warden would be among the antaam. The new Warden might even rise to Sten. The dwarf Warden and her elf would likely be labourers. The old Warden we left behind might be, as well."

"I don't think that Nadia and Zevran would like those roles, but go on." Ildri wondered about her own role under the Qun.

"I have had trouble placing you." He admitted. "When we first met I thought you would become a labourer as well, but you have surprised me. I thought you could be a tamassran. Then you found my sword, and became kadan. Perhaps you would be Ben-Hassrath."

"What is Ben-Hassrath?" She asked.

"In your tongue it means 'heart of the many'. They protect us from threats both within and without of the Qun."

"So… like guardsmen?" She pressed.

"I suppose. It is difficult to explain." He shrugged apologetically. "You are also Basalit-an. More than kadan. One not of the Qun who is worthy of respect, to be followed."

"Thank you, Sten." Ildri gave him a small smile. "It means a lot to me to know you hold that much regard for me."

"It is more than just respect. Kadan, I _must_ leave once the Blight is defeated." He sighed. "I have great affection for you." He stood from the bed and walked across the room, standing so close to Ildri that she nearly cracked her head on the wall to meet his eyes.

"I care about you, too." Ildri murmured.

"I lied to the witch." He admitted, and Ildri blinked. _That's a sudden change in topic._ "When I told her that the Qunari act was deadly, and that she would need armor." Ildri's eyes widened and her face flushed. She definitely remembered _those_ conversations. "I told her such so that she would leave the subject be. The Qunari act is not unpleasant."

"Well – um – th-thank you for telling me." Ildri finally managed to say. Sten leaned closer and inhaled deeply, and Ildri was reminded of their last conversation in the Deep Roads. _Oh, Maker, how long has he been able to smell it on me?_ All logical thought fled from her mind when Sten's lips crashed onto hers.

* * *

><p>When Ildri woke the next morning, the first thing she noticed was the not-unpleasant throbbing between her thighs. The second thing she noticed was that Sten was still in her bed. She rolled over and curled into his chest. When she felt his arms tighten around her, she smiled into his chest and fell back asleep.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Bwahaha! Finally, an update. I'm sorry that they've been taking so long. I'm not super happy with most of this chapter, but I wanted to get it up. I really like the end, though - let me know what you think!<br>**


	19. Chapter 19

**This is _slightly_ longer than the Circle Tower chapter, but not by much. I'm excited to show you all my plans for the final battle, which should be in the next chapter. And hey, two chapters in one day! Enjoy! **

* * *

><p>Ildri was woken up several hours later by someone pounding on the door.<p>

"Ildri, are you awake? We can't find Sten, and Ferika didn't see him leave this morning." Nadia called through the door. Ildri yawned and stretched, feeling Sten's body still behind her.

"I'm awake _now_." Ildri grumbled. Sten began to move behind her, and she rolled over to smile at him.

"Good morning, kadan." He greeted her quietly. "Did you rest well?"

"That was the best sleep I've had in ages." Ildri informed him. Nadia pounded on the door again.

"Ildri! Are you in there?"

"Yes! I'm awake, too! I'll be out in a minute!" Ildri shouted over her shoulder. "Damn that woman." Sten gave her a small smile.

"The burdens of command."

"You got that right." Ildri sighed and then climbed out of bed. "So how do you want to do this?" She asked, nodding towards the door.

"What do you mean?" He asked in turn.

"Do you want to just walk out with me, or pretend like this never happened? I don't know what we're supposed to do now." She shrugged a shoulder and looked away.

"What are your thoughts?" Sten sat up in the bed. Ildri was grateful that the dwarves made everything over-sized, or else they wouldn't have both fit in the bed.

"It doesn't matter much to me." Ildri stated – a blatant lie. "I know that they'll tease us if we both walk out together."

"Does that concern you?" He frowned over at her. Ildri suspected that he had caught the lie.

"Not really. Considering how much I teased Nadia when she and Zevran got together, it'd be kinda hypocritical of me to expect anything else from her." Ildri began to pull on her clean under armor. She heard Sten climb out of the bed and walk towards her. One of his large hands came down under her chin and tilted her head upwards.

"Did you think I would be ashamed of this?" He asked softly.

"Not… not _really_, but I figured you must've had a reason for lying to Morrigan about…" She trailed off and waved a hand towards the bed.

"I misled her because I wanted her to dismiss the subject, and because I did not want to lie with her." He answered. "You are a different matter entirely." There was an odd noise coming from the door, but Ildri ignored it. Sten lowered his mouth to hers, and Ildri reached up eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"By the Stone!" Ildri drew back from Sten and whipped her head towards the door. Nadia and Zevran stood in the entryway, having picked the lock.

"For the love of… what the fuck do you two want?" Ildri glowered at the pair.

"Well, now we know where Sten was all night." Zevran smirked.

"Get out of here!" Ildri snapped, and the door was closed. It didn't, however, block the sound of Nadia's giggling. Ildri sighed and rested her forehead on Sten's chest. "Well, _that_ wasn't how I expected everyone to find out about us." Sten chuckled. "I don't know if we're going to get stared at more or less now than we would have earlier."

"It does not matter." Sten told her. "We should get dressed before they decide to return." Ildri bit her lip as Sten walked away, admiring his figure.

* * *

><p>There were a lot of stares when the two of them arrived for breakfast. Nadia started giggling all over again if she looked at either one of them, and Wynne looked rather disapproving. Loghain looked as though part of him wanted to know how the logistics worked out, but another part of him wanted to pretend as though it had never happened. Wynne let out a gasp when Ildri's shirt slid further over than it should have, revealing a large love bite Sten had left on her shoulder. Ildri flushed violently and tugged the shirt back into place. Morrigan had only raised a brow and made a comment about walking straight, sending Nadia into another fit of laughter and left Ildri flushing so much she was afraid her hair was going to burst into flame. Oghren didn't seem to care one way or another, still mourning his wife's death. Sten's face grew darker the more Ildri flushed.<p>

"Parshaara." He growled, drawing every eye to him. "Kadan, what are your plans for today?" Sten mostly succeeded in changing the subject. Ildri cleared her throat before speaking.

"We need to head south once we leave Orzammar. We'll drop Dagna off at the Tower, then go south to the Korcari Wilds." Morrigan nodded her thanks.

"Why back there?" Loghain asked.

"Morrigan has asked me to do her a favour." Ildri looked over at the witch, who gave an acquiescent wave. "She's asked me to kill her mother." There were a few shocked noises echoing around the table, and Ildri explained the situation. "I wouldn't leave anyone in a situation like that." Ildri concluded.

"I would like to come with you." Loghain stated. "I have some words for that witch." Ildri nodded her agreement.

"Wynne, seeing as Morrigan won't be able to come along, I'd like to have you come with us as well. I won't force anyone to come with us to face her, but I'd appreciate any volunteers. On the other hand, I also don't want to leave Morrigan alone. We can figure out the exact numbers later, but it's something I wanted to mention. After the Wilds, we're basically cutting due north. There's an old abandoned Warden fortress on the northern coast of Ferelden that I want to check out. After that, we return to Denerim."

After breakfast, Ildri went to speak to Bhelen one last time with Nadia as an escort. She wanted to say goodbye to her sister and nephew, and Ildri wanted to remind Bhelen that she needed his men marching to Denerim as soon as possible. After that, the two women met the rest of their companions at the gates of Orzammar. Ildri was a little surprised to see Oghren there as well.

"I didn't realize that you were coming with us." Ildri said, and Oghren shrugged.

"I don't have anything left here, Warden. No House, no honour, no wife. I'm hoping I might get some of that back by travelling with your lot." Ildri smiled down at him.

"The more the merrier, right?"

* * *

><p>Dagna was ecstatic to have an escort to the Circle Tower. She went on and on about magical whosits and whatsits, so Ildri was more than happy to leave her in Wynne's tender care. Besides, that would distract the older mage from Ildri and Sten's blossoming relationship. Ildri had stopped setting up her own tent, instead sharing with the Qunari. Ildri's tent was loaned to Dagna for the time being, and once she was dropped off at the Tower, they would have a spare. Oghren and Dagna were both a little perturbed to no longer be underground, but Nadia was a great help in that regard. When they arrived at the Circle Tower, Ildri, Dagna and Wynne all crossed the lake to speak with the First Enchanter. He was delighted to have such a willing pair of extra hands to help out, and all told they spent very little time in the Tower itself. Once Kester had docked the small boat and the two women were alone, Wynne turned on her.<p>

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" The mage demanded. Ildri sighed internally. She had been expecting this, and she was glad that she'd had so much time to think about her answers.

"I'm helping people." She snarked. Perhaps not her best moment, but she was tired of the dirty looks she kept receiving from the older mage.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, young lady." Wynne folded her arms across her chest. "Your _dalliance_ with the Qunari."

"Firstly, it's none of your business. Secondly, you're not my mother. You're far older than she ever was, but that doesn't give you the right to lecture me."

"What would your father –"

"You don't know _anything_ about my family. For your information, my father has actually _met_ Sten. Broke bread with Sten. My family has no problem with him." Not entirely true, but it wasn't as though Wynne was going to have a chance to learn otherwise. "Sten has saved my life countless times. Do you see this?" Ildri asked, showing both sets of scars on her upper body. "_This_ is from where a dragonling bit me, and Sten helped get the fucker's head off while Morrigan healed me. _This_ is from where I was bitten by a werewolf and dragged off to their lair, and Sten was the one to lead the rescue. And those are just the examples that I have proof of." Ildri readjusted her armor. "You are not here to judge us, or make presumptions of us."

"I only worry that you'll be hurt." Wynne interjected.

"I know that he can't stay. He has to return to Par Vollen after the Blight." Ildri swallowed around the lump in her throat. "But we both care for each other regardless. We both know that this isn't in any way permanent."

"He doesn't act like he cares." Wynne groused.

"You don't know him like I do." Ildri countered. "I've known him for eight months now. You've only known him for three, and most of that time was underground, where we were damn near all at our worst. Just because he's not affectionate and whatever in public doesn't mean anything." Wynne frowned at her.

"Warden, I'm only concerned for you." Wynne argued.

"If there was a reason to be concerned, I'm pretty sure that Nadia or Morrigan would have brought it up by now, considering I've known the both of them just as long as I've known Sten. I understand that you felt you had to speak your part, and now you have. Can we leave this subject alone now?"

"He told Morrigan that 'the Qunari act' was deadly!" Wynne pointed out.

"Because he wanted her to leave him alone. I'm obviously not dead, so you should know better. If this is going to be an issue, I can get Kester to row you right back across that lake." Ildri threatened, more than ready for this subject to die.

"It won't be an issue." Wynne quickly stated, but her frown had only grown deeper.

"Thank you." Ildri sighed and made her way up to the Spoiled Princess. Most of Ildri's companions had gotten rooms, but Ildri and Sten were sleeping outside that night. Ildri ducked into the inn to eat dinner, then stepped back outside. Sten was already in the tent, and she ducked inside.

* * *

><p>They passed through Ostagar on their way to Flemeth's hut in the Wilds. There were a number of darkspawn still remaining, and they also found Cailan, his armor, and a few notes still in a locked chest. The first letter bothered Loghain, because Cailan had been writing to the Empress of Orlais without his knowledge. The second letter bothered him because Eamon had been asking Cailan to set his daughter aside and take another wife.<p>

"From the amount of mistresses the man had, he was either extremely careful in taking precautions, or the fault did not lie with my daughter." Loghain grumbled. The third letter, however, had Loghain angry enough to spit nails. "Do you see this?" He demanded of Ildri, brandishing the letter. "He intended to set my daughter aside to marry that Orlesian bitch! He would have undone all the work his father and I did to end the Occupation, and for what? So he could flounce around and call himself an Emperor?"

"It's unlikely that the Orlesian court would have granted him that title, being a backwater, mongrel Fereldan, after all. King or no." Ildri pointed out. It didn't help. They slew the remaining forces of darkspawn, collected Cailan's armor, and burned his body. "He was still your daughter's husband. There may yet have been some affection." Ildri told Loghain as he scowled at the pyre. "She might appreciate having something of him." Loghain sneered and did not answer.

* * *

><p>Morrigan remained at a camp not far from Ostagar. Nadia, Zevran, and Oghren had elected to remain behind, leaving Ildri, Loghain, Sten, Wynne and Barkspawn to continue south.<p>

"I knew you would return." Flemeth greeted them. She stood facing her hut, not bothering to turn around. "My lovely Morrigan has finally found someone willing to dance to her tune. Such enchanting music she plays, yes?" Flemeth cackled.

"We are here for more than just Morrigan's whims." Loghain snarled. Flemeth paused and turned around.

"Now this is a face that I did not expect to see again." Flemeth smiled. "Did I not warn you there would be a Blight?"

"Anyone could claim that there would be a Blight after his death. With three more Archdemons still below ground at that point, no one would have been wrong, either." Loghain replied.

"And what of the betrayals?" Flemeth asked. "Did I not say that you would betray him thrice, each time more so than the previous one?"

"Everything that I have done was what I thought was best for Ferelden!" He argued.

"Even when your mind was not your own?" Her smile grew as she regarded Loghain. "However, it is not you that I need speak with." Flemeth turned her gaze back on Ildri. "So how shall this dance go?"

"I can't risk losing Morrigan." Ildri answered. "I can't have her unfocused, not now. We're too close to ending this to risk it." Ildri drew her blades.

"I admit, I admire your determination. But old Flemeth will not die easily. It is a dance she knows well, though it has been some time. Come, let us see if she still recalls the steps." Flemeth took a few steps up the nearby hill. There was a bright flash of light, and a High Dragon stood in her place.

"Shit." Ildri cursed, looking over at Sten, who nodded. "Wynne, stay as far back as you can. Focus on healing and long-range spells. Not fire. If you know the Frost Weapons spell, cast it. Loghain, you and Sten are up in the front. Keep her attention on you as best as you can, but don't get chewed on."

"And yourself?" Loghain asked, drawing his sword and pulling his shield onto his arm.

"I'm going climbing." She looked down at Barkspawn. "You stay safe now, you hear? Stay close to Wynne, make sure she doesn't get hurt." The mabari barked in response. Loghain was already running towards the dragon, shouting and waving his sword.

"Be careful, kadan." Sten said quietly, for her ears alone.

"You as well." Ildri replied. Sten nodded, then shouted and ran after Loghain. The difference between the Flemeth-dragon and the High Dragon in Haven was that the former had human intelligence, while the latter did not. This meant that Ildri had to be even more careful while climbing her back. They had fewer people with them this time, but Ildri had faith in her companions and lover. Flemeth was lashing her tail, rather distracted by the two warriors. Sten attacked one foreleg and Loghain the other, so that only one of them was ever in true danger. Flemeth's tail paused for nearly half a minute, and this was when Ildri ran up her back. Like the dragon in Haven, Flemeth's back was slippery. She had been tending to Sten's injuries when Zevran had scuttled up the previous dragon's back, and now she was wishing she'd asked more about how he'd killed her. She sheathed her blades and fell to her hands and knees to crawl across Flemeth's back. She knew that she'd be able to keep her footing better by spreading her weight, and it was easier. There were large spikes, almost handholds, on either side of Flemeth's neck, but Ildri was going to have to be careful. Ildri only just grasped the first pair when Flemeth noticed her presence and shook her head, trying to throw Ildri off. Ildri held on as tight as she could as Flemeth leapt into the air, coming down heavily a few moments later. Ildri climbed as quickly as she could while holding on tightly. Flemeth let out a loud shriek, and Ildri cried out in pain as her eardrums rattled. The sounds around her faded out, and all that was left was a loud ringing in her ears. She could feel liquid trickling down her neck from her ears, but pressed on. Ildri knew that Wynne could heal nearly anything, so she didn't concern herself. Finally, Ildri was directly behind Flemeth's head. She hooked her legs around the closest set of horns, gripping tightly with her legs. She drew one of her swords and raised it over her head, blade pointed downwards. With a scream that she didn't hear, she thrust the blade through Flemeth's skull and into her brain. It felt like forever for Flemeth's body to realize that her brain was dead, but Ildri guessed later that it was no more than a few minutes. Ildri leaned back and grasped the topmost set of spikes and released her grip on Flemeth's horns with her legs and performed a backwards flip so that her stomach was once more on Flemeth's neck. The sudden change nearly made her vomit. She closed her eyes and released the spikes to slide down Flemeth's neck and onto her body. Meanwhile, Flemeth was stumbling around in her death throes, nearly tossing Ildri from her back. Finally, Flemeth collapsed, throwing Ildri from her back. She felt the back of her head crack against the ground, and when she finally stopped rolling Ildri turned onto her side and vomited. She kept her eyes closed as she retched, passing up breakfast and moving on to dry heaves. Her ears were still ringing, and she couldn't hear anything else. When she felt hands on her shoulders she jumped and rolled onto her back. Opening her eyes, she saw that it was Sten. She smiled up at him. She saw movement behind him, and when she looked the sunlight was reflecting harshly off of something and she quickly closed her eyes and looked away again. Ildri felt Sten pick her up and settle her in his lap. She turned her face into his chest. She felt a smaller, cool hand touch her cheek, and she peeked through her eyelids, seeing Wynne bent over the two of them. Suddenly she could hear again, and everything seemed far too loud.

"**She had a concussion and ruptured eardrums. The eardrums were easily repaired, but the aftereffects of the concussion may last for a few days."**

"Why are you all so damned _loud_?" Ildri whispered, and even that felt too loud.

"**She may be dizzy or have some difficulties seeing straight. If you're worried at all about her, come speak to me." **Wynne continued as though Ildri hadn't spoken. Sten said nothing, but she felt him nod.

"**Come, we should return to the others."** Loghain spoke. His voice was a little quieter than Wynne's, but not by much. Sten rose to his feet, and Ildri felt her stomach spin at the motion. Ildri was quickly lulled to sleep by the pounding of his heart and rhythmic motions.

* * *

><p>Ildri woke a number of hours later to a shouting match.<p>

"'Tis no fault of mine!" Morrigan shouted.

"You inadequately informed us of the dangers we would face!" Sten shouted back, which made Ildri sit up immediately. Her head was a little woozy at the sudden motion, but she knew she had to get out of the tent. Sten _never_ shouted outside of battle.

"_I_ was 'inadequately informed' of Flemeth's nature for most of my life! How was I to know what tricks she had up her sleeve?" Ildri had only been stripped of her armor, so she didn't have to waste time putting anything on before exiting the tent. Wynne was standing at the entrance.

"Oh no, young lady." Wynne halted her. "You're not –"

"If I don't do something, one of them is going to get hurt." Ildri interrupted. "I won't allow that." She pushed past Wynne and followed the shouting. Morrigan held her staff at the ready, her off-hand wreathed in lightning. Sten was still in full armor, Asala in his hands.

"Stand down!" Ildri commanded, stepping between them.

"You should be resting." Sten informed her, not taking his eyes off Morrigan.

"And _you_ should not be shouting at our companions." Ildri shot back. "I'm fine. Flemeth is dead, I'm not. No one was permanently injured. I'm calling it a good day." Sten narrowed his eyes at Morrigan before sheathing Asala. Ildri took a deep breath and looked over at Morrigan. "Did you get your grimoire?"

"Loghain and Wynne retrieved it for me." Morrigan replied. The spell fell from her hand and she relaxed. "Are you certain you are well?"

"I'm not dead, so I'm happy." Ildri answered with a small smile.

"As am I." Morrigan smiled back. "Thank you for what you did."

"If I said 'no problem', that'd be a lie." Ildri smirked. "But you're welcome."

* * *

><p>Within a week, Ildri's concussion symptoms had receded enough that Wynne gave Ildri her weapons back. The first band of darkspawn they met after the encounter with Flemeth, Ildri was nearly killed because she lost her balance at an inopportune moment. Ildri grumbled about it, but eventually handed the swords over. They met Levi Dryden at a small village a few hours away from Soldier's Peak. They stayed at the inn overnight, and headed north the next morning. It took a few hours to make their way through the tunnels. Levi claimed that he'd seen the way in his dreams. Ildri subtly asked Morrigan to check if the man was a secret mage, but it seemed he wasn't. He was just a little odd. There were long-dead memories throughout the fortress. For the first time, Wynne and Morrigan agreed on something – the Veil was thin at Soldier's Peak. As they made their way through, encountering more memories as well as demons and the undead, pieces of the story were put together. A noblewoman – Sophia Dryden – had been forced to Join the Wardens by King Arland. She became the Warden-Commander, and was asked to help in overthrowing King Arland. They were discovered, eventually slain, and the Order banned from Ferelden until King Maric had welcomed them back. They fought their way through the old fortress. One door was barred with magic, and so Ildri left Wynne and Morrigan there to try and take it down while the rest of them proceeded to the next room. Within was the body of Sophia Dryden, now home to a demon. The demon proposed a deal – it would help to seal the Veil, and in return, Ildri must find a way to set it free.<p>

"I may not be a mage, but I'm not a fool." Ildri answered. The demon possessing Sophia summoned a few thralls, but they were all easily dispatched. Sophia's body disintegrated, leaving the inside of the Warden-Commander's armor lined with dust. Ildri picked it up and shook out the dust as best she could. There was an armor stand in the next room – she had to ask Sten to bash the door down – and Ildri hung the armor on it.

"What did you do?" Wynne asked, raising a brow.

"Killed a demon. Why?" Ildri informed her.

"The barrier fell of its own accord." Morrigan replied.

"Good. Let's get going, then." The door behind the barrier led across a walkway littered with traps and a handful of undead. Beyond that was a tower.

"There's something Tainted in here. It almost feels like a Warden." Nadia warned.

"We'll be careful, then." Ildri promised. There were books scattered everywhere, penned by the mage Avernus, the one who had accidentally torn the Veil. "What he was working on?" Ildri murmured to herself.

"We may find answers in other journals." Morrigan mused.

"We may indeed." Ildri agreed, moving on. The hairs on the back of her neck and along her arms rose, alerting her to nearby magic use. It didn't feel like Morrigan's or Wynne's, but she looked at the both of them regardless. Neither of them were actively channeling mana. Frowning, Ildri pressed on. They found the Warden mage, Avernus. Wynne argued against trusting him, spouting the laws of the Maker.

"So the Maker told you that, did he?" Avernus rose a thick brow. "Short-sighted men have forbidden my research, not a god." Ildri smirked at Wynne's silence. "Why are you here? What are your intentions?"

"There is a Blight raging in Ferelden. You're looking at nearly all of the Wardens that Ferelden has, for the moment. I didn't know what to expect when I heard of this place, but I was hoping for a few things." Avernus grinned at Ildri.

"There are a few things that I may be in a position to assist you with. But first, the Veil must be closed. If we can close it, my work here will be much easier to complete."

"Done."

* * *

><p>With the Veil sealed, the three Wardens returned to Avernus' tower. Between the three of them, they explained what had occurred thus far.<p>

"There are only two more of us in Ferelden. I don't want to go pouring Joining Juice down everyone's throat just to tell them that they're going to die. Not that I could do that, seeing as we're fresh out of Archdemon blood until we kill the current asshole flapping around the countryside – but if I'd found the blood here, that's exactly what I would have done." Ildri concluded.

"I have a fair amount of Archdemon blood stockpiled here, as a matter of fact." Avernus admitted. "I have also improved the Joining formula."

"Improved how?" Loghain frowned at the mage.

"Higher survival rate, to begin with. I had thought that I'd not completely eliminated the Calling, but now that I know it was Urthemiel, I can promise that you will never have your Calling. I have never been able to test it on women, so I don't know what kind of effects it may have on the two of you."

"Is there anything else?" Ildri asked.

"Faster stamina recovery, or mana, as the case may be. Your very blood becomes a weapon." He explained the different ways that non-mage Wardens could use their blood in new ways after taking the potion.

"I want it. Now. And I need you to tell me how to make more of it." Avernus was all too happy to cooperate, and even supplied them with a handful of extra improved Joining potions.

"One is for your Warden King, and the other is for your Orlesian." Loghain's lip curled, and Avernus looked over at him. "You know how the Archdemon is slain, boy. If this Riordan is as close to his Calling as he claims to be, you're going to want him to take this. You need every body to throw at the beast."

"You're not coming with us?" Nadia asked.

"I'm a little old for hard travel." He demurred. "I will assist in any way that I can, however. Once the beast is slain."

* * *

><p>Ildri decided to leave the Archdemon blood at Soldier's Peak for the time being – traveling down the Imperial Highway in the back of a cart didn't sound very safe, in her opinion. Levi was going to bring his family back to the Peak and turn it into a proper place of business, as well as get repairs underway. With that business taken care of, it was time to return to Denerim.<p>

* * *

><p>There were far more soldiers in Denerim than there had been the last time Ildri was there. She couldn't remember a single other time that the city was so full in her entire life.<p>

"Refugees and soldiers." Loghain commented. "Lothering won't have been the only town destroyed." As it happened, Loghain was correct. Crestwood, in the northern parts of Ferelden, had recently been overrun with darkspawn and flooded.

"They've been moving quickly." Ildri agreed. She dismounted from her horse, and a stable boy at the Warden Compound hurried to take the mare away. "We should head to the palace. They've probably heard that we're here, but it's not a bad idea to put in an appearance." Ildri reached up to rub at her scars, and Sten swatted her hand away from them. She mock-scowled up at him and then sighed.

"We can send a messenger. I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry." Nadia interjected. "If we go and report to Alistair, Andreina, Anora, and Riordan right now, we won't eat until tomorrow." Loghain chuckled.

"Very well. But I'm making sure that they know it was your idea." Ildri teased her.

"Ildri!" _Shit!_ She had clean forgotten that her family was now working at the Warden compound. Shianni wrapped her arms around Ildri from behind. "It's been ages! Did you get all your stuff done? You have to tell me –" Shianni stopped dead as Ildri turned around. "Maker's breath, are you all right? What happened?"

"You should see the other guy." Ildri smiled gently. "Actually, maybe not. He's rotting in the Deep Roads."

"You don't know the half of it yet." Nadia piped up, a wicked grin on her lips. Ildri raised her brows as the dwarf, who mock-pouted in return.

"We need to get something to eat, and then we should go see Riordan, Anora, and the Royals, see how they've been doing while we've been gone." Ildri placed a hand on her cousin's arm. "I promise, I'll tell you guys everything I can." Soris and Cyrion shared similar reactions to Shianni when they saw the scars upon her cheek. Her father almost began to cry as he held on to her.

"Papa, I'm all right. I'm right here."

"But for how long?" He asked quietly, and Ildri didn't answer.

* * *

><p>After eating, all nine of them headed to the palace proper to be presented to the King and Queen, the Chancellor, and the 'Blight Advisor', which Ildri assumed was Riordan's title in court. She didn't see Eamon at all, which made her smile.<p>

"The Wardens and the Blight Companions!" They were announced into the small sitting room, where Alistair, Andreina, Anora and Riordan waited for them. She knew exactly when each of them noticed her facial scarring. Ildri quickly introduced the newcomers to each other, and then began a detailed description of their travels across Ferelden. If it hadn't been for the arrival of almost a hundred golden-eyed strangers looking to 'repay their debt to the Warden', the incident in the Brecilian Forest might not have been believed. Anora and Andreina looked as though they might be ill at the description of the broodmothers.

"And after leaving Soldier's Peak, we came here directly." Ildri concluded the tale. "So, what have we missed?"

"You've likely heard about the destruction of Crestwood at this point." Riordan began, and Ildri nodded. "After that, military recruitment doubled nearly overnight. If the Blight can be defeated with minimum loss of life, Orlais may begin to fear for her borders." Riordan smirked, but the joke fell flat. He cleared his throat and continued. "We have almost three hundred ballistae ready to use." He went on to describe how each one had wheels for fast moving, as well as a brake to hold it while firing. "They can fire spears, nets, and rocks, as well as certain types of explosive devices."

"Good to hear. So if the horde was in Crestwood, it can't be long until they arrive here." Ildri mused.

"You are correct." Riordan agreed.

"Ah, yes, before I forget… ladies, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room, as well as my non-Warden companions." She shot an apologetic glance Sten's way. She had already told him about the improved Joining potion, but she needed to keep up appearances for a while longer. Once it was only Wardens in the room, Ildri gave more details about their trip to Soldier's Peak, and gave Riordan and Alistair their improved potions.

"Doesn't taste nearly as bad as the original." Alistair commented. Riordan tossed his potion back, swallowing it quickly. He needed to sit down, but once the immediate effects wore off, he claimed to feel better than he had in many years. It wasn't long afterwards that they called the meeting to an end for that evening.

* * *

><p>The next morning after breakfast, Ildri called her family into her room at the Warden Compound. They seemed surprised to see Sten there before them. She told them about their travels across Ferelden. Ildri suspected that Shianni had figured out that they were lovers from the way her eyes widened and danced between the two of them. <em>It's Papa's reaction I'm most worried about. Bringing the murdering Qunari home as a friend is one thing, but as a lover?<em> Shianni's grin nearly split her face in two when Ildri took Sten's hand, and Soris' eyes widened to the point where Ildri feared they would fall right out of his skull. Cyrion looked at their joined hands and then up at the Qunari.

"Keep her safe," was all he said.

"For as long as I am here." He promised.

"Wait, what's that mean?" Shianni asked, frowning.

"He's leaving after we defeat the Blight. He'll have completed his task." Ildri answered. Her chest ached just thinking about it, but Ildri wouldn't ask him to abandon his people for her, nor would he ask her.

"That's acceptable." Cyrion nodded, then looked over at Ildri. "Stay alive."

"I'll do my best."

* * *

><p><strong>Parshaara - enough<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to DakotaWithBlackWings for the fave!**

* * *

><p>They had only been in Denerim a few days when the horde was spotted close to the capital. Ildri was woken early in the morning to attend an emergency meeting.<p>

"The horde will be here in less than three days." Alistair was saying. "We need to move the refugees somewhere else. Amaranthine, or Gwaren. They're both cities with ports, and neither have been hit hard by the darkspawn."

"You can't expect us to do all that for no pay –"

"I'm not asking you to do it for free, I'm ordering you to lower your prices to the pre-Blight level. There's no need to take everything a person owns in order to get them to safety."

"But –"

"No _buts_. Either lower your prices, or have your ships confiscated. Dismissed." Ildri slipped into the room as a disgruntled-looking man slipped out of it.

"Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you." Ildri commented.

"We've been moving refugees for months, and there's still hundreds left in the city." Alistair scrubbed at his face. "I blame you for this." He groaned, sitting down in a chair. "You're the one who decided that I needed to be the King."

"I'm not the only one." Ildri countered. "Where's Riordan and the girls?"

"The ladies are doing much the same thing as I just was, just with different merchants. I don't know why they suddenly cranked up the prices. The food's going to go bad because no one can afford to buy it." Alistair sighed.

"Maybe that's something you can get written in as some kind of law. You'd have to talk to Anora and Andreina about it, though." Ildri shrugged. "I don't know enough about it."

"Neither do I." He admitted. "Anyway, I'd like you, the Wardens and your friends out and about in the city as much as you can. Look over defenses, help out. Try and keep morale up."

"So Morrigan should stay at home?" Ildri teased, and he chuckled.

"Yes. Keep her in the compound. Her kind of attitude is what we _don't_ need right now."

Ildri returned to the Compound and kicked everyone but Morrigan out. When she relayed Alistair's words to the witch, she only laughed. Ildri stayed with Sten for most of the day. As the day began to turn into night, they made their way back to the Compound.

"It won't be long before the Archdemon is here." Ildri commented. "After that, either the Blight will be over, or we'll all be dead."

"I would prefer the former." Sten replied.

"As would I."

* * *

><p>Tensions rose as the horde grew closer. Ildri spent some time in the small room in the Compound set aside for mixing poisons. When she wasn't in there, she was helping around the city, especially in the Alienage. Most of the remaining elves refused to get onto the ships leaving the city.<p>

"Then come and stay in the Warden Compound." Ildri offered. "It's attached to the palace, and that'll be one of the best-defended districts of the city." A great many took Ildri up on her offer, and the Compound soon became cramped.

As the sun fell on the night before the horde was due to arrive, Ildri was planning on going to bed early that night. She entered her room and was surprised to see Morrigan there and not Sten.

"Morrigan? Is everything all right?" She asked cautiously.

"I am well. 'Tis you who are in danger." Morrigan replied.

"We're all in danger, what with the approaching darkspawn horde." Morrigan spun on her heels to face Ildri.

"I know what happens when an Archdemon dies." She announced, and Ildri flinched.

"How?"

"My mother told me. This was my purpose in accompanying you."

"Your purpose was to tell me?" Ildri asked, raising a brow.

"No Grey Warden need die." Morrigan said quietly.

"You have my full attention." Ildri sat down in a chair, her elbows on her knees and her hands clasped together.

"A ritual must be performed on the eve of battle. 'Tis old magic, from before the time of the Chantry."

"I don't care about the magic, just tell me what I need to do." Ildri interrupted. Morrigan nodded and explained the ritual. A Warden and a non-Warden needed to sleep together, the night before the battle, and produce a child. When the Archdemon was slain, its essence would travel to the womb of the mother, and be absorbed. Made clean, free from the Taint. The darkspawn would still flee, because their leader was still dead. With no song to guide them, they would return to the Deep Roads.

"You must convince Loghain to lie with me." Morrigan concluded.

"So what's the ritual for? Couldn't any Warden sleep with any woman – or vice versa, so long as a pregnancy's possible – and create a child that the soul would seek out?" Ildri asked.

"That is precisely what the ritual is for. Without the ritual, it might seek out any Warden's child. By using the ritual, I ensure that the Old God's soul is drawn to my womb alone."

"How will we explain it away?" Ildri asked.

"The how is entirely up to you, my friend. Once the Archdemon is slain, I will leave. You are to never seek me out, and I will raise the child as I see fit."

"I'll never see you again?" Ildri asked softly.

"This is for the protection of all of us. Mine, yours, Loghain's, and the child's." Morrigan pointed out. "I will miss you greatly, but this is something I feel I must do."

"Even though the idea was your mother's?" Ildri pointed out.

"Even so. Now that I have Flemeth's grimoire, I will be able to protect both myself and the child from her." Ildri sighed.

"I'll go talk to Loghain. But you do know that if you ever need me for something after this, I'll be here for you, right?" Ildri looked over at the witch.

"I understand. I do not think that I will need to call upon you, but the gesture is appreciated." Ildri fetched Loghain and brought him back to her room. Morrigan went over all the details once more.

"I think I know how we can do the ritual and still make sure Weisshaupt gets their dead Warden." Ildri commented once silence reigned. She laid out what few details she had already thought of, and together, the three of them forged a plan. The sun had been down for some time before Morrigan and Loghain left Ildri's room. She still hadn't seen Sten, so she sought him out. She found him in the garden, meditating.

"Kadan."

"Sten." She sat down beside him in the grass and waited for him to speak. He would when he was ready.

"The night before the battle." He breathed deeply. "I did not know if you would want my company tonight."

"You're always welcome." Ildri told him immediately.

"Then let us be off." He rose to his feet and helped Ildri to hers. She stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. _This could be our last night together. Even if Morrigan's ritual works, there are many things that can kill you in a battle._

* * *

><p>It was an early morning. The sun rose red in the east as Denerim prepared for war. Last-minute preparations were made as the sun made its way towards its zenith. Oil was loaded into metal tubs lining the city walls, ready to be poured over the walls and set ablaze. Nearly all of the refugees had been taken by boat to either Gwaren or Amaranthine, and so the city was mostly filled with soldiers and mages. Dalish scouts reported to heavily-armoured soldiers, and dwarves patrolled the streets. Mages lined the city walls, many apostates having come out of hiding to join the fighting. The apostates were kept well away from the areas in which the Templars patrolled, prepared to unleash their wrath on darkspawn mages. The Wardens, the Blight Companions, the Royals and Chancellor Anora had gathered for a last-minute meeting, hashing out small details and hypotheticals. Loghain, Ildri, Riordan, Morrigan, and Barkspawn were the ones chosen to chase the Archdemon down and slay it. Riordan was not pleased to learn that Morrigan knew why she was not to attempt to slay the Archdemon herself, but Ildri didn't care. They all gathered at the main gates, where the bulk of the horde had arrayed themselves. There was no sign yet of the Archdemon near Denerim, but they didn't think it would be much longer before the dragon appeared. Alistair gave a rousing speech, and scarcely a moment after he finished, the darkspawn began pounding on the gates.<p>

_One._

"Hold steady!"

_Two._

"Archers ready!"

_Three._

"Mages ready!"

_Four._

The gates flew inwards, but were caught by magic before they flew far enough to inflict real damage. They were gently set aside as darkspawn poured through the gates like water through a sieve. At the front was one of the largest ogres Ildri had ever seen. With the combined man and magepower of nearly five thousand souls, it wasn't long before the streets of Denerim ran black with darkspawn ichor, but it was spotted with red. Wynne stood on a nearby ledge, ready to heal or support with magic wherever necessary. Zevran and Nadia fought back-to-back, while Morrigan had exchanged her flimsy robes for the armor her Arcane Warrior abilities enabled her to wear. Barkspawn stayed at her side, as per Ildri's orders. Alistair fought near Loghain, both men fighting as though possessed. Oghren was making himself and his Berserker abilities useful against the 'spawn, cutting them down almost as soon as they showed themselves. Sten was easy to spot, as he stood head and shoulders above everything but the ogres themselves. Riordan fought at Ildri's back. She felt she could trust him to keep her alive, especially considering he had no knowledge of Morrigan's ritual.

It felt like hours had passed since Ildri had started swinging her sword. The Taint in her mind lessened for a moment, and she looked around. The dead and the dying of both darkspawn and defenders littered the streets of Denerim. Ildri reached for her water pouch at her hip and drank deeply.

"Where have they gone?" Ildri asked Riordan. The older Warden closed his eyes. One arm lifted to point to the east.

"That is where the greatest concentration of them are."

"The Alienage!" Ildri cursed. "They have a secondary entrance! It wasn't heavily reinforced, and there aren't any soldiers there. We assumed that they would all come here!"

"We must move quickly, then. They will likely try to press us on both sides." Riordan opined. Ildri nodded and looked around at her companions, those who would be staying behind. Sten had not been happy when Ildri told him he would have to remain with the bulk of the army. It was the closest thing to an argument that they would ever have. Her eyes met Sten's, and he rushed towards her.

"Kadan?" He asked softly, looking down at her.

"This is where we part ways for now." Ildri told him, rapidly blinking to try and stem the tears.

"I cannot keep my promise if I am not with you." He tried to reason, but Ildri shook her head. _I can't have him see it. I can't lose his respect, his affection, after all I've been through this past year._

"And you know why you can't come along." Sten sighed and leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. "I will come back. You have my word." Sten surprised her. Uncaring of all the people around them, he kissed her. Thoroughly. Ildri was breathing heavily when he pulled away.

"You must." He said, so quietly she almost didn't catch it.

"Panahedan, Sten." _I love you. I'm sorry._ She didn't notice the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Panahedan, kadan."

* * *

><p>Ildri just about sprinted to the Alienage, leaving the three humans jogging to catch up. Barkspawn had no difficulties. None of them said a word about what had passed between her and Sten, and she was grateful for it. She was distracted enough. When they arrived at the Alienage, they saw that all of the elves had made their way to the Warden Compound. That made their job much easier. They killed the darkspawn in the area, including a 'General' of some kind. That was what Riordan had called it. Once the darkspawn were dead, silence fell in the Alienage. Something like a thunderclap sounded immediately overhead, and Ildri flinched away from it. A great cry shook the air and even some of the nearby buildings.<p>

"The Archdemon is here." Riordan breathed.

"Morrigan, send up the signal!" Ildri commanded. If any mage saw a great big dragon flying overhead, their orders were to send up a fireball into the sky to mark its progress. Scouts were posted to watch for the fireballs. Morrigan nodded and launched her spell skywards.

"The highest point in the city is Fort Drakon. We must find some way to guide the beast there." Riordan stated. Ildri looked skywards, following the Archdemon.

"We might not have to do it ourselves." She pointed to the shorter tower of Fort Drakon, where ballista bolts could be seen flying through the air towards the Archdemon. One landed between its ribs, and another landed in its wing.

"That is one of the ones I was working the hardest on." Riordan pointed at the dragon's wing. "My original plan was to climb a tall building and try to jump on the beast's back, but I am glad that it worked out this way instead."

"What does that one do?" Loghain asked.

"It is similar to a harpoon in that it is hooked. The edges are bladed, and the more it struggles to remove it, the more it tears flesh." Riordan smiled grimly.

"Good thinking." Ildri told him. "Is it weighted on the other end, too?"

"It is indeed." They watched as the bladed bolt tore a man-sized hole in the Archdemon's wing. "It won't be able to fly for much longer." Riordan's prediction came true, for it wasn't much longer before the Archdemon fell onto the building. They could hear its cries of pain clearly from the opposite end of the city. "That is our destination." They passed a small group of Dalish scouts once they exited the Alienage, and Ildri asked that they pass along a message to the front gate.

"The Archdemon is grounded. We are headed for Fort Drakon."

* * *

><p>There were very few darkspawn roaming the streets of Denerim, which meant that the armies at the main gates were doing their jobs. Some mages, dwarves and Dalish had been posted at Fort Drakon as well, to provide assistance to the Wardens when the Archdemon was finally grounded. The five of them burst through the doors on the lower tower of Fort Drakon to see that it was madness. The Archdemon was tearing through the soldiers brave enough to approach it, and blasting the mages with purple flames. However, the beast was wounded. In addition to the large hole in its wing, there were a number of arrows lodged in its left eye, and its right hind leg was mangled and bleeding copiously. Ildri let out a battle cry and charged into the fray.<p>

Thinking back on it, Ildri had little recollection of the battle with the Archdemon itself. It felt as though there should have been some kind of dramatic music playing in the background, but the Warden's only accompaniment was the screams of the wounded, the dying, and the Archdemon itself. Ildri was nearly knocked off the roof of the tower at one point by the Archdemon's tail, but the ledge on the roof itself stopped her slide. Her left shoulder smashed into the balustrade and she cried out in pain. It had re-dislocated itself. She picked herself up and ran over to the few remaining mages for assistance.

"Your arm is still injured," the woman warned her, "the spell only makes you forget about the pain."

"It's back in the socket, that's all that matters. Thank you." Ildri stretched her arm before diving back into the fight. After slashing and hacking at anything she could reach, as well as avoiding being stepped on or thrown off the edge of the building, she heard shouting. Loghain was shouting for the non-Wardens to retreat into the building. It wasn't long before Ildri, Loghain, Morrigan, Barkspawn and Riordan were alone with the Archdemon.

"You die this day!" Riordan shouted and charged at the beast. The Archdemon was dripping blood from numerous wounds all over the rooftop. Riordan slipped in one puddle, but caught himself. He slid beneath the Archdemon's neck, his sword pointed skywards. More Tainted blood and flesh slipped from the wound as the Archdemon's fire glands were incapacitated. It cried out, but its larynx must have been cut as well, for it only let out a small, sad-sounding noise. Breathing heavily, Riordan stood and raised his blade above his head and plunged it through the Archdemon's skull. A blinding white light shot out of this wound. Ildri covered her eyes with her hand, and then she was thrown backwards by a shockwave. As soon as she regained her footing, she made her way over to Riordan. She tore off her gauntlet and placed two fingers on the pulse point on his throat.

"He lives." She raised her eyes to Morrigan. "Give me a moment, and we can say our goodbyes." Ildri took one of the pre-prepared, specially marked poisons from her hip pouch. It was an extremely potent poison known as Quiet Death. It required careful handling, because just a drop on the skin could be fatal. Ildri opened Riordan's mouth and poured two careful drops onto his tongue. His breathing stopped within a minute. Ildri put the vial back in her pouch and pulled her gauntlet back on. "Weisshaupt has their dead Warden, and you are free to go, Morrigan. I can't thank you enough for what you've done." Ildri walked towards the other woman and pulled her in for a hug. Morrigan stiffened, then hugged Ildri back.

"I will miss you, Ildri. When I left Flemeth's hut I never thought to find a friend, much less a… a sister. Take care of yourself. Live gloriously." Morrigan nodded to Loghain before shifting into her raven form and flying away.

Ildri and Loghain kept the gawkers back from the Archdemon's corpse. The blood would need to be collected, but neither of them knew how to go about doing that. Thankfully there were those among the Circle's mages who had helped prepare the Joining potion before, and they were more than eager to assist in any way that they could. Ildri and Loghain were unable to make it back to the main gates before their companions came looking for them.

"Kadan!" Ildri's head snapped away from the mage she was speaking to and she looked around for Sten. She spotted him before he spotted her. A wide smile stretched across her face as she ran towards him. Sten held her so tightly she thought he was going to break a rib, but she didn't complain. The Blight was over. He would be leaving soon.

No one suspected foul play in Riordan's death. Who would? History states that the Grey Warden who kills the Archdemon dies. There was a funeral for Riordan, full of fanfare. Of the nearly five thousand strong army at the gates, there were around thirty-five hundred left. Deaths among the nobility were low, seeing as most of them had fled. Eamon had been slain by darkspawn when he foolishly tried to attack an ogre on his own. These were the important funerals surrounding the Blight's end.

* * *

><p><em>ONE MONTH AFTER THE BLIGHT<em>

There was a large celebration held at the palace celebrating the end of the Blight. Ferelden had much to celebrate. They had the shortest Blight to date, as well as losing the least amount of people. If they moved swiftly, much of the Tainted lands could be scorched before the snows fell. It would be a hard winter, but they were alive.

The city elves were granted representation in the Landsmeet in the form of Bann Shianni. Ildri was overjoyed for her cousin.

In addition to having Soldier's Peak, the Wardens were granted the Arling of Amaranthine, and Ildri was named the Arlessa.

Also, with Eamon's death, the Dowager Arlessa Isolde returned to Orlais, knowing that she, an Orlesian, would not be allowed to rule the Arling of Redcliffe on her own. Teagan was named Arl of Redcliffe, and former Mayor Murdock was given the title Bann of Rainesfere.

Alistair and Andreina, having now been married and ruling together for nine months, announced that Andreina was pregnant with the heir of Calenhad.

Andreina's brother, Fergus, had arrived in Denerim not a week after the end of the Blight. Andreina had been ecstatic, thinking that she was the only one remaining of her family.

With Ildri's assistance, Oghren tracked down his old flame, Felsi.

Wynne returned to the Circle of Magi.

Zevran and Nadia travelled to Antiva, to deal with the pesky Crows who seemed to think that the contract on the Grey Wardens was still in force.

Loghain went to Gwaren with Anora to help her run the Teyrnir for a short while.

Sten boarded a ship leaving Ferelden, leaving behind a heartbroken Ildri. She never did tell him she loved him.

Ildri? Ildri got the surprise of her life.

* * *

><p>"No." Ildri shook her head, refusing to believe it. "I'm a <em>Grey Warden.<em> How the _fuck_ did I get pregnant, Avernus?"

"The usual way, I would imagine." He replied, shrugging a shoulder. "I did warn you that I hadn't tested it on a female Warden. I couldn't have known that your fertility would be affected."

"The Taint isn't as strong in me anymore, right? Could my child have avoided being Tainted?" Ildri forced herself to take deep breaths. Avernus rubbed his hands together for a moment and then spread them over her belly.

"You're about… three months along. The babe seems healthy enough to me, but I'm no Spirit Healer."

"I know, you're a blood mage. Can't you just…" Ildri waved a hand.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't phrase that question so idiotically." Avernus huffed. "But no, there is nothing I can do with blood magic other than abort the pregnancy."

"No!" Ildri spread her hands over her stomach protectively.

"I thought not. You're going to need to recruit a mage for yourself."

"I know. I honestly considered recruiting Wynne for a few minutes, but then I remembered that I can hardly stand her. Judgemental old biddy."

"Where is the father?" Avernus asked, turning back to his work. "I wonder if it actually _is_ my potion, or something to do with him? Do you think he would allow me to take some blood for experimenting?"

"No. He went back home." Ildri sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"Went… back? The Antivan was with the lady dwarf, the human's about as Fereldan as they get. That red dwarf, I feel for anyone who ends up sleeping with him, so that leaves… ahh." Avernus sighed. "No, even if he were still here, I suspect that the Qunari would have taken issue with me trying to draw his blood." He turned his chair back around to look at Ildri. "You're going to need that mage sooner rather than later." Avernus informed her. "This child, considering it's part Qunari, is going to be huge. You're not going to have a happy labour."

"You're just a ray of fucking sunshine, Avernus." Ildri snarked.

"It's part of my charm."

* * *

><p><em>SIX MONTHS AFTER THE BLIGHT<em>

"Commander, are you sure you're going to be all right fighting like this?" Mhairi asked, looked over at Ildri. "It can't be safe, not in your condition." Ildri laughed.

"Safe? Probably not. But I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"If you had taken up archery, as I suggested –" Loghain began, but Ildri interrupted him.

"I _still_ wouldn't be able to use a longbow, and a crossbow would probably knock me on my ass."

"Not on horseback." Loghain murmured.

"How many horses will stand still long enough for me to shoot an arrow at fucking _darkspawn_?" Ildri demanded.

"Fair point." Loghain conceded, cutting down the last of the 'spawn in the courtyard.

"Thank you." Ildri nodded. "Let's get moving. I want to find out what these darkspawn are doing in our Keep."


	21. Chapter 21

Two weeks after the end of the Blight, and Denerim was still celebrating. Ildri could hear the sounds from the small garden near the Warden's Compound. She, however, didn't much feel like celebrating. Her closest human friend, Morrigan, was gone; and the rest of her companions would soon follow. Riordan's funeral had been the week before, and his ashes sent on to Weisshaupt, to rest with the Wardens who had slain the previous four Archdemons. The few areas where the darkspawn had attacked in force had been cleaned, and mage-fire used to destroy the Taint. The ground near the main gates of Denerim would be stained black for many years to come, however. Also with the mage's aid, the Archdemon's blood, bones, and scales had been cleansed and harvested. Wade the smith was overjoyed, seeing as Ildri had commissioned new sets of armor and weapons for Nadia, Loghain, and herself from the remains. She had offered the same to her other companions, but they had declined the offer. Ildri was working on getting all of the blood ready to move to Soldier's Peak, where Avernus could enchant it to remain viable for as long as necessary. These thoughts and more tumbled through her head until a large pair of hands landed on her shoulders.

"Are you well, kadan?" Ildri smiled and tilted her head back to look up at her lover. Alistair had been shocked, to say the least, to learn that she and Sten were lovers. He had gone on to tell Andreina, who had thought it odd, but 'remarkably romantic', to borrow her words.

"Just sitting. It's nice to be able to sit and do nothing." She told him a half-truth. Mostly, she was trying to avoid thinking about Sten leaving. She knew it was coming soon, but she didn't know when. She had avoided asking about it. "However, it's starting to get a bit chilly out here. I was planning on coming inside soon when you came out." Ildri rose from the bench and tucked her arm into Sten's. "Would you like to join me?" She asked, grinning up at him. He said nothing, placing a hand over hers and guiding her inside.

* * *

><p>Ildri didn't know for sure <em>how<em> the Queen had gotten her measurements, nor was she sure that she wanted to, but she had to admit that the dress she'd been given was beautiful. It was deep blue and velvet, with silver trim and a square-shaped bodice. Three of Swiftrunner's teeth marks were visible along Ildri's left collarbone. She suspected that Andreina hadn't known about them, or the Queen might have selected a different design. It was far too late now, however. She, Nadia and Loghain wore outfits that matched in colour, but Nadia had somehow avoided needing to wear a dress; instead wearing a blouse, vest, and women's trousers. Ildri was unsurprised to see Sten still in his armor. She stood beside him and smiled over at Soris, Shianni, and her father as Alistair began speaking.

"Lords and Ladies of Ferelden, honoured guests; we gather tonight to celebrate a feat that no others have accomplished. Within a single year, an Archdemon rose from the depths of the earth, brought its armies to bear, and was slain. With no assistance from other nations, the men, women, elves, dwarves, and mages within this country banded together and destroyed the greatest evil we will ever see. None of that would have been possible, however, without Warden-Commander Ildri Tabris." Alistair gestured towards where Ildri stood. "She travelled across this country, slaying darkspawn, werewolves, golems, and even dragons. She has done things that many would claim are impossible, but she has proven otherwise. Warden-Commander, please step forward." Ildri froze, too surprised to move, until her father nudged her forwards. When Ildri stood on the dais before the Royals, Alistair began to speak again. "In light of your actions, the Queen and I would like to grant you a boon. If it is within our power, what you ask will be done." Ildri had been told a few days earlier, and she'd had more than enough time to contemplate what she was going to ask for.

"I ask that the elves have better representation in the Landsmeet." Ildri announced loudly. "For too long have our needs gone uncared for, and I feel that it is time that changed." She heard the whispers of the nobles in the crowd behind her, but she didn't care. "There is nothing that you can do for me. But I would do anything for my family." Ildri whispered. Alistair smiled.

"Would Shianni Grahm step forward, please?" He called out. It took some time, but Shianni made her way to Ildri's side.

"Yes, Your Majesties?" Shianni kept her head bowed, but did not curtsey.

"How would you like to be given the bannric of the Denerim Alienage? Made their voice in the Landsmeet?" He asked, and Shianni's head snapped upwards.

"Absolutely, Your Majesty. If you're offering it, I'll accept it."

"That's exactly what I'm doing." He smiled at Shianni, then lowered his voice. "There's only a few more things. You don't have to go all the way back across the room if you don't want to, you can wait here until it's done. I'll just need you both to scooch over a little bit." Ildri took Shianni's hand and led her off to one side. Her cousin was shaking.

"Are you all right?" Ildri asked quietly.

"The King just made me a Maker-forsaken noble, how d'you think I'm doing?" Shianni shot back, but quietly.

"I'm happy for you."

"Of course _you're_ happy, you're not the one –" Shianni cut herself off as Andreina began to speak.

"However, that is not all the Wardens need. They need a home, a place to rebuild their Order within Ferelden. Thus, the Crown grants the Arling of Amaranthine to the Grey Wardens, with Warden-Commander Tabris as the Arlessa." She went on to list off a few provisions that came with this appointment, such as Ildri's children being unable to inherit – not that Ildri thought she'd have any – and only a Fereldan Warden-Commander being allowed at any point in time.

"Shianni, did she just do what I think she did?" Ildri whispered. Shianni was too busy giggling to answer.

"Your Queen and I have only one more thing to add before we begin our meal." Alistair smiled broadly, taking Andreina's hand. "Queen Andreina is with child. She carries the next Heir of Calenhad!" The very walls seemed to shake with the cheers and applause of the nobility and guardsmen alike. Alistair raised a hand for silence, and while it took some time, they eventually fell quiet. "And with that, this part of the evening comes to a close. Dinner is waiting for us in the Large Dining Hall, and we will return here after dinner for the final part of the evening." Ildri waited for the room to empty before walking over to Alistair and punching his arm.

"Thanks for the warning!" She growled. "Ass."

"We wanted it to be a surprise." Alistair smiled.

"It was a surprise, all right! I thought I was gonna be sick!" Ildri glowered up at him. Shianni burst out into laughter, and Ildri turned her glare on her cousin. "You're not helping, _Bann Shianni._"

"I apologize, _Arlessa._" Shianni snickered.

"I hate you _all_."

* * *

><p>Ildri was glad that she'd eaten just before arriving, so as not to look like a pig in front of the assembled nobles of Ferelden, seeing as she was now one of them. Her fellow Wardens and other companions seemed to find this new development funny, of all things. They and Ildri's family sat at the head table with the Royals and Anora, while the other nobles sat wherever they wished at the other tables. Once they were all seated Anora looked over at Ildri.<p>

"I plan to leave Denerim in a few days' time for Gwaren to set everything to rights, and seeing as it was last under my father's administration, I was hoping that you might allow him to travel with me." Anora asked, and Ildri smiled at the woman.

"I don't see any problems with that. I'll need him back eventually, however."

"Of course." Anora nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate this."

"We just defeated a Blight. I think we all deserve some time off. He might not think of it as time off, however." Ildri pointed out, and Anora smiled.

"No, I think not." They then turned their attention to their meals, and there was very little talking.

* * *

><p>Ildri wasn't able to avoid all the dancing, but she was able to get out of much of it. After a few turns on the dance floor, she tucked herself into a corner. This was where Nadia found her.<p>

"Do you remember that Crow guy, Ignacio?" Nadia asked, and Ildri nodded. "He's just confirmed that with Howe's death the contract on _us_ was cancelled, but that they'll most likely continue hunting Zevran."

"I take it the two of you have a plan, then?"

"Yes, but I felt it would be prudent to talk to you about it first. I want to go with him to Antiva and hunt Crows." Ildri raised her brows.

"That'll take some time, if what I've heard about their numbers is at all accurate, and you might not come back."

"I know. We've been talking about this for a while. We don't plan on killing all of them, just enough that they'll leave us alone. Also, with the Blight over, the darkspawn are retreating. You and Loghain are the face of the Wardens in Ferelden, now. I'm not nearly as necessary as either of you are."

"You're just as necessary." Ildri argued, and Nadia shook her head.

"I'm just the dwarf Warden with Loghain and the elven Commander." Nadia countered. "It's unlikely that you'll need me in the next while. I'll keep you updated on our progress and let you know where you can send letters to in case something stupid happens and you actually _do_ need me."

"I can't say that you're wrong." Ildri agreed.

"Right now, the Grey Wardens are popular and romantic and all that rot. I'll bet that you'll have more recruits than you know what to do with in the coming months." Ildri made a conceding gesture. "I've come to… care for Zevran. I don't want anything to happen to him. We have a greater chance of survival if we stick together."

"I suppose it would be rather hypocritical of me to let Loghain run off to Gwaren for a few months to help Anora, but make you stay here while your lover runs off to wage war on the Crows." Ildri acceded. "Just stay alive."

"I promise to do my best." Nadia agreed, smiling. "Thank you, Ildri."  
>"I'll take what I can get. And you're welcome." Nadia rushed off, likely to tell Zevran the good news. Ildri looked around the room and saw an oddly familiar red-haired woman in Chantry robes staring at her. She didn't have much time to think on where she knew the woman from as Loghain approached her next. "So much for picking a good hiding spot." Ildri mock-groused. The two of them had spoken little since Morrigan left.<p>

"There are very few of those in this room." Loghain pointed out, like as not from personal experience. "I hear I'm to leave with Anora when she goes to Gwaren."

"Yes. As I told her, we could all do with some time off." At Loghain's scowl, Ildri amended her statement. "Well, time spent not killing darkspawn, anyway."

"_That_ is more accurate than 'time off', anyway." Loghain admitted. "If you want to hide from people, the best thing to do is just leave. No one's paying any attention to who's here and who isn't this late at night, anyway."

"I have to stay for a little bit longer." Ildri replied. "I just wanted a bit of a break from all of… _them._" She waved a hand towards the rest of the room and Loghain barked a laugh.

"You're one of _them_ now, don't forget." Ildri scowled at him.

"I didn't need the reminder."

"Don't treat them as abruptly as you did at the Landsmeet, but make sure that they know you're going to stand your ground on whatever issues crop up. Don't let them see your ears and think that they can push you around."

"Thank you." Ildri nodded. Loghain returned the gesture and left her in her corner. Looking around, Ildri didn't spot the Chantry woman. She stayed for a few moment more before stepping back into the crowd.

* * *

><p>Over the course of the next week, the number of Ildri's companions shrunk considerably. Zevran and Nadia caught a ship out of Denerim to Antiva. Wynne left for the Circle Tower. Loghain left with Anora. Oghren had been offered a position in the army for his actions during the Battle of Denerim, but he had asked Ildri to help him locate an old friend from Orzammar, last seen at the Spoiled Princess inn on Lake Calenhad. Sten's was the hardest goodbye Ildri ever had to make. Five days after Andreina's celebration, Ildri stood with Sten on the docks. His ship was in the harbour.<p>

"I will send a letter when I am able." He promised. "I cannot say when that will be."

"I understand." Ildri nodded, swallowing her tears. _I love you._ "I'll miss you."

"And I you, kadan." Sten replied. "You found my sword and gave me a chance to return home. I owe you a great debt."

"You owe me nothing." Ildri countered, shaking her head. "You saved my life more times than I can count. If anything, I owe _you_."

"As you wish." He nodded. "Once it was unthinkable that a foreigner, a bas, would become kadan to me. But here we are."

"You never did tell me what kadan actually means." Ildri pointed out. "Can you translate it better now?" Sten was silent for a moment before taking Ildri's hand and placing it in the center of his chest. If he hadn't been wearing his armor Ildri would have felt his heart beating beneath her fingers.

"This is kadan." He answered. Ildri blinked rapidly to try and hold back her tears. _Does that mean he loves me?_ Sten leaned down and gave Ildri one last kiss. "Panahedan, kadan. May you always find the path you seek." Then he was gone, boarding the ship. Ildri waited until the ship was out of sight before returning to the nearly empty Warden's Compound. Barkspawn was waiting for her in her bedroom. Ildri fell to her knees, sobbing, and the mabari walked towards her. Ildri wrapped her arms around him and cried into his fur.

* * *

><p>After doing most of the work in reconnecting Oghren and Felsi, Ildri and Barkspawn headed north to Soldier's Peak to check on Avernus and the Drydens who had taken up residence there. The three of them had had travelled with a delegation for the Circle Tower on behalf of the Royals to acquire a Court Mage, and Oghren would return with them, with or without Felsi. Most likely <em>with,<em> in Ildri's opinion. Outside of her mabari, Ildri was travelling alone. It was odd. She would turn to ask someone to do something, only to remember that she was alone. She spent a lot of time chatting at Barkspawn, but while he was a highly intelligent animal, he couldn't carry on a conversation.

"Maker's fucking breath, I am never travelling alone again." Ildri told the mabari once they were in sight of the old Warden fortress. "I love you to death, but you're still just a dog." He barked in response. "You're just proving my point." Ildri dismounted and led the horse into the courtyard, where a young blonde stable boy relieved her of her horse. "I don't plan on leaving soon, so you can take off all of the tack and everything." Ildri told him. She still didn't know what half of the equipment was called, but she'd learned how to maintain both the horse and its accoutrements since acquiring them. "Where's Levi?"

"I don't know for sure, my Lady." The boy told her, and she wrinkled her nose at the affectation.

"I suppose I'll find him eventually." Ildri sighed and headed into the fortress, up into Avernus' tower.

"Welcome back, Warden-Commander." Avernus greeted her.

"Well enough, all things considered." Ildri shrugged. "Have you gotten around to preserving all of the Archdemon's blood yet?"

"Nearly all of it, yes." He informed her. "The other Wardens will expect to receive their share, you know."

"_Fuck _them." Ildri snapped. "Not one country lifted a fucking finger to help. The only reason Orlais did a Maker-forsaken thing was because they were worried about their fucking plots, and the only thing Riordan did was kill the fucking Archdemon and try to send out coded missives." No one had been successful in translating them, either. "Speaking of which, we figured it might be some kind of Warden code. I've got them with me. If you can make the time, I'd like you to take a look at them."

"I will, but not right now. I was hoping you would allow me to take a look at you, see how my new potion is affecting you."

"Of course. Whatever you need." Ildri nodded. Avernus leapt up, near giddy, and picked up a knife.

"A small sample of blood, and then I would like to perform some spells on you. They're Creation spells in nature, allowing me to see how your body is performing." Ildri nodded her permission once more and offered the mage her hand. He made a small cut across her palm and filled a small vial with her blood. He cast a small healing spell, and there was only a small line left. He deposited the vial on a table and cast a spell. He frowned and cast it again.

"Is something wrong?" Ildri asked.

"Depends." He shrugged. "How do you feel about being a mother?"

* * *

><p>Avernus was able to translate Riordan's missives. Troop numbers and movements, his opinions on the Wardens and the Royals, and other such things.<p>

"So with Cailan dead, Orlais moved on to other plans for re-conquering their lost province." Ildri mused looking at the results. Avernus had no idea what she was talking about, so she told him what had been discovered at Ostagar. "I'm glad I let that bastard die." Ildri growled, looking down at the stacks of papers. No one knew about Morrigan's ritual outside of Ildri, Loghain and the witch herself, and Ildri intended to keep it that way.

"With one plot foiled, they will only hatch another." Avernus warned, and Ildri nodded.

"I'll take all of this back to Denerim with me when I leave. I'd like to learn this code, if you've the time." Ildri replied, and Avernus nodded. "We've been granted an Arling and its keep there. That's probably where I'll be spending most of my time, at least until the Thaw is ended. We're in the north of Ferelden here, but it's a little bit too far from civilization to be of much use. We'll have to get crows or ravens to carry messages to and from here, as well."

"What are your other Wardens doing? They can't be of use in this?" Avernus asked.

"Nadia's on extended leave in Antiva, and Loghain is visiting his daughter in Gwaren. I'll get him to help when he's done down there." Ildri tapped her fingers on the table. "This whole 'being a leader' is a lot harder than people think it is." Avernus let out a short laugh.

"I suspect your Warden-King is learning much the same thing himself."

"At least he's got help." Ildri groused.

* * *

><p>After learning that Alistair had gotten Andreina with child, Avernus insisted on travelling with her to Denerim.<p>

"I need to perform the same diagnostics on him as I did on you." The old mage insisted, and so when Levi left with his wagons, the three of them went with him. Avernus was far too old to make the trip on horseback. Ildri was worried about returning to Denerim. Just after her arrival at Soldier's Peak her pregnancy had begun to show. Her armor didn't fit the way it was supposed to around her stomach or waist anymore. She had loosened it as much as she could and it was still tight. _After all I teased Nadia about contraceptive tea, __**I'm**__ the one who ended up pregnant._

They could only travel as fast as the wagons, and so it took the better part of a month to reach Denerim. Ildri, Avernus, and Barkspawn parted ways with Levi at the market and headed for the Warden Compound. Soris and Cyrion were still employed there, and greeted them upon their arrival. Introductions were made and the Wardens ate while Ildri's family regaled with them the latest gossip in Denerim.

"The King and Queen decided to do away with the Arling of Denerim altogether." Cyrion informed them. "They offered the estate to Shianni – they didn't know what happened to her there – she asked them to tear it down. They agreed, and once the new estate is built there it'll be hers."

"I bet Shianni liked that idea." Ildri smiled, picturing her cousin's reaction.

"No, she didn't." Cyrion smiled back. "But how are you doing? You were gone for quite a while." Ildri bit her lip. She opened her mouth and the door to the dining room flew open.

"Ildri!" Shianni stood in the doorway. "I got a message as soon as you were seen entering Denerim." Shianni hugged indri from behind and sat down beside her.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ildri deadpanned. "Avernus, this is my cousin, Bann Shianni of the Denerim Alienage. Shianni, this is Warden Avernus." Shianni nodded to the old mage before focusing back on Ildri.

"How are you feeling?" Shianni asked. She'd been the one who found Ildri after she had bawled her eyes out after Sten left and comforted her.

"Better." Ildri replied. "Avernus, I'd like some time with my family." He nodded.

"I think I might take a walk around the market. It's been a number of years since I was in Denerim last." Ildri snorted as Avernus left.

"To answer your question, I'm doing well." Ildri told her father. "I have some news. I don't know if you're going to like it, though."

"It can't be that bad." Shianni waved a dismissive hand. "I mean, it's not like you're pregnant." Ildri flinched, and Shianni's eyes widened. "You said you couldn't get pregnant!" Ildri bit her lip and looked at her father. His face was blank, neither approving nor disapproving. Yet.

"The Warden you just met was able to develop a new and improved Joining potion." Ildri explained. "It completely eliminates the Calling, and it gives us far more benefits than the original one did. He'd never given it to someone who was sexually active, so he couldn't know how it would affect fertility levels."

"How long have you known?" Her father asked.

"Not long. Avernus cast a diagnostic spell on me just after I arrived at Soldier's Peak and told me then."

"How far along are you?" He continued.

"Four, almost five months." Ildri replied softly.

"He doesn't know, then." Her father said, and Ildri shook her head. _There's a lot that Sten doesn't know. That he never will know._ Shianni pulled Ildri into a hug, and Ildri laid her head on her cousin's shoulder. "Oh, Ildri." Her father and Soris came around the table, and the four of them held on to each other.

* * *

><p>Ildri had to stop to see Wade and Herren, so she could tell the armourer that she needed something that she could wear while she was pregnant. The man was even more ecstatic at this news, calling it 'an even greater challenge'. She collected Avernus and headed up to the Palace. Anora and Loghain had returned a few days previously. Loghain's former Teyrnir ran like a well-oiled machine, so used to its liege lord not being present. A change in leadership meant little. This was the first Andreina or Anora had ever heard of Avernus, and were a little suspicious of him. They became more so when Ildri asked them to leave the room so she and the men could discuss Warden business.<p>

"Avernus needs some of your blood." Ildri blurted once the other women were gone. Loghain was immediately against it, for which Ildri couldn't blame him. "He needs to test how the new potion is affecting you. There have been some… unforeseen side-effects."

"Such as?" Loghain growled.

"Well, pregnancy." Ildri gestured towards Alistair and then herself. Loghain's features softened.

"Does he know?" Loghain asked. Gently, for him.

"Does who know what?" Alistair asked.

"I didn't know until after he left." Ildri replied to Loghain.

"You'll have to take up the bow." Loghain stated. "You'll not want to fight darkspawn or bandits up-close in your condition."

"You're _pregnant_?" Alistair almost squeaked.

"Not very quick on the uptake, is he?" Avernus commented to Ildri.

"Oh, great. You replaced one not-so-nice mage with one who's a Warden." Alistair rolled his eyes. Ildri didn't deign to respond to either of them.

"So if both of you would be so kind as to donate a small amount of blood to our friendly neighbourhood blood mage, that'd be wonderful." She gestured towards Avernus. "I've already done it myself. He's got no other reason to want your blood, seeing as he'll likely be returning to his tower in Soldier's Peak with Levi in a few days." It took a little more cajoling, but Avernus left the Palace with two vials of blood. Ildri ended up meeting Fergus, Andreina's older brother, who had arrived in Denerim only a few days after she had left with Oghren. She also saw Oghren and Felsi, who had returned to Denerim, along with the dwarven woman's mother. They had returned from the Circle with a woman named Petra, who Ildri thought she might have met when she was there during the Blight. Petra had been briefed on what to look for in the fetus of a Warden, and Ildri stopped by to see her.

"I don't know if Riordan actually knew a thing about Warden pregnancies." Petra commented, running blue-limned hands over Ildri's belly. "I haven't detected a hint of Taint in either child."

"Riordan was going off of old knowledge." Ildri informed her. "We've developed a different Joining potion in the last few months. This is one of its results." She gestured towards her stomach.

"That would explain a bit." Petra released her spell. "I cannot tell you whether or not you can breastfeed your child. But I can tell you the gender, if you're so inclined."

"You can?" Ildri echoed, surprised.

"Four months is the earliest that a mage can tell, yes. It's not common knowledge because so few of us are allowed outside the Tower."

"That makes sense." Ildri nodded. "Did Andreina find out for hers?"

"You're a few months ahead of her." Petra told her. "I can't see hers as well yet. Oh, while I'm thinking on it, you'll want to acquire a mage's services before you deliver. The babe is very big already."

"I've been told that before. But thank you." Ildri looked down at the swell of her stomach. "It would make it easier to think of names."

"Is that a yes? I don't want to tell you unless you're certain."

"Yes. I want to know the gender of my child." Ildri stated.

"You're having a son."

* * *

><p>Ildri and Shianni both began taking lessons from Anora on how to run a Fereldan holding. Whether it was a bannric, an arling, or a Teyrnir, the needs of each were mostly the same. The only way in which Ildri was ahead of her cousin was in terms of reading and writing. They could both do sums, up to a point, but other than that everything was new to the both of them.<p>

"Ildri will have a steward to assist her with day-to-day matters, mostly because she is both Warden and Arlessa, and because of the size of the arling itself." Anora said. "Shianni, you might be able to acquire a steward yourself, but with your proximity to the Palace, I believe that between myself and Andreina we will be able to help you with any concerns that you might have."

"I can't bother the _Queen_ with my issues!" Shianni argued.

"Most of them will cross hers or Alistair's desk at one point, so she'll see them regardless." Anora pointed out. "Especially seeing as they have absorbed the arling of Denerim into the royal holdings."

"I'll bet that didn't go over very well." Ildri commented, and Anora shrugged a shoulder.

"It was something that I wanted to do for years." The former queen admitted. "But I had little more actual power than a steward, for all that Cailan left the running of Ferelden in my hands. I was more a Queen-Consort than an actual Queen." _That explains a __**lot**__ of what happened during the Blight._ While Ildri was learning from his daughter, Loghain spent a great amount of time looking for new recruits. Nadia hadn't been wrong; the first few months after the Blight they had a great many people looking to be recruited. Loghain knew what Ildri wanted in her recruits – above the age of twenty, with no dependents. With this in mind, most of them were sent back to their families. Loghain found more promising recruits among those who had fought in the Battle of Denerim. Cauthrien still wanted to join, but Loghain must have been able to talk the woman down, because she didn't ask Ildri again. Six and a half months into her pregnancy, five months after the Blight, and a month and a half into her training with Anora and Shianni, Ildri received a letter from the First Warden in Weisshaupt, in the Anderfels. Ildri was congratulated for having the shortest Blight to date, chided for having Wardens in 'positions of political affluence', sent condolences for Riordan's loss – but it was the last points that she had issue with. "A dozen Orlesian Wardens?" Ildri snarled. "After defeating a Blight with just the five of us, I don't think we'll need their assistance." She and Loghain were in the Warden Compound. "And if I try to send them back, they'll probably get pissy about it. Fuck!"

"I'm not very impressed with that either, but there's little we can do about it right now." Loghain pointed out. Ildri raised a brow at him.

"Who the fuck are you, and what did you do with Loghain Mac Tir?"

"I find the next point rather more disturbing than that." He commented. Ildri didn't blame him. First Warden what's-his-nuts wanted Loghain shipped to Orlais.

"I don't see why he thinks he can just order me around." Ildri glared at the letter. "Don't worry, I'm not sending you there."

"I don't know that you can prevent it."

"_Fuck_ them _all_." Ildri snapped. "Where the fuck was he during the Blight? The rest of Thedas _abandoned_ us. And now he thinks he can order me around? He can go _fuck_ himself. They want Archdemon blood? They can bloody well come here and _pay_ for it."

"Don't write and send the letter when you're in this mood." Loghain cautioned. "The last thing we want is an army of Wardens descending on Ferelden."

"Oh, I'll write the thing." Ildri growled, reaching for a parchment and a quill. "I'm not stupid. Just fucking pissed. I'll rewrite the fucker later, get someone to look it over, and _then_ send it." She began to write. Anora sighed and rubbed her temples later on seeing both Ildri's first and second drafts of the letter.

"You raise good points, but I don't think it would be in your best interests to send a letter laced with so many expletives to the leader of your Order."

"Considering all of the _nothing_ they've done for us, I don't consider him much of a leader." Ildri replied.

"Regardless of what you think of the man, he holds a great deal of power. You don't want to push too far. Leave these with me, and I can come up with a proper letter to send." Ildri nodded her agreement and left the other woman to her work.

_First Warden Cosmin _

_I regret to inform you that I will not be sending my Second, Loghain, to Montsimmard. I require his presence in Amaranthine. After everything that the Fereldan Wardens have done for Thedas, I don't think that this is too much to ask. I do not think that the Orlesian Wardens are necessary, but I will not argue against it at this time. Concerning the Archdemon blood, I am loathe to send it unsupervised to each Warden stronghold on the continent, especially seeing as I am unsure where they all are. If each of them were to send a representative here, I would be less wary of allowing it to leave Ferelden's shores. After they have paid for it, of course. Short though our Blight may have been, Ferelden is still devastated by it, especially our Wardens. _

_All regards, _

_Warden-Commander Ildri Tabris of the Ferelden Wardens _

"Okay, it does sound a lot fancier than mine did, but I'm not regretful. I also really don't want to keep the Orlesians." Ildri pointed out after reading the letter.

"You're holding the most important ingredient for the Joining ritual hostage, and you're refusing to comply with most of his orders." Anora countered. "You need to make a compromise somewhere, and I don't want it to be my father."

"Neither do I." Ildri sighed. "Fine. I'll sign the damned thing and then you can send it." She scrawled her name across the bottom of the parchment and handed it back to Anora.

"On another note, I think you're quite ready to travel to Amaranthine." Anora announced.

"Not on horseback." Ildri smiled wryly. Ildri hadn't had morning sickness during her pregnancy, but she had the swollen ankles and sore back and breasts that a number of women complained about. She hadn't been able to see her feet in over two weeks.

"No, I wouldn't recommend it." Anora gave her a small smile back. "Have you heard anything?"

"From Sten? Not yet. It's unlikely that he was on a ship bound directly for Seheron anyway." Ildri shrugged, acting nonchalant. "He didn't exactly tell me what his travel itinerary was."

"I see." Anora looked her over. "Is there anything else that needs doing before you leave?"

"I already had ravens sent to Amaranthine with most of the recruits your father selected. Mhairi returned a few days ago from Soldier's Peak. I think Wade might finally be done making our armor." Ildri rolled her eyes. "That man is so _finicky_."

"I've heard that myself." Anora agreed.

"So in short, all I have to do is arrange a ride there." Ildri concluded. "I'll be stealing my father from the Compound, just so you know."

"I expected as much." Anora nodded. "If there is anything that you need, just send a letter."

"I will." Ildri promised.

* * *

><p>The following day, Loghain went to pick up the weapons and armor from Wade, which was beautiful. Sten's armor, which had been made from the remains of a normal High Dragon, had been almost burgundy in colour, while the Archdemon armor was a dark blue, now that it was no longer Tainted. Loghain had typical plate mail-style armor, while Ildri's was a bit lighter. It also had panelling made from thick dragon scales across her stomach that could be extended if she grew any larger or removed entirely once she'd given birth. The same day, Mhairi purchased a covered wagon for Ildri and her father to ride in. Mhairi would be using Ildri's horse, while Loghain would be using his own. Ildri spent a few days learning how to drive the wagon, and she quickly got the hang of it. Soris would be staying in Denerim with Shianni, so that she wouldn't be entirely bereft of family. Ildri made sure to stop by the Alienage and say her goodbyes before leaving. She picked up her father and returned to the Palace to pick up Loghain and Mhairi, as well as to say goodbye to the Royals. Andreina was fairly glowing with pregnancy. Unlike Ildri, she'd elected to not learn the gender of her child. It was a little difficult for the two women to embrace, considering the size of Ildri's pregnancy, but they managed. As Anora had, Andreina made Ildri promise to write if she needed help with anything at all. And then Ildri, Loghain, Barkspawn, and Mhairi made their way out of Denerim.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Another short chapter, I know, but this is just fillerin between stuff. Six months go by in the course of this chapter, and I didn't think that anyone would want to read all of that. The first part of Awakening is next!  
><strong>


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